private you, with the heart of burning coals ; midnightash

[ backwritten to after the drowning (tm) @MIDNIGHTASH ]

Everything in her feels tense - like the ball of anxiety in her gut has exploded into her limbs, her shoulders, her tail and more - it's unending, flowing through her like the blood in her veins. She approaches Midnightash on frosted paws, a venom not naturally on her tongue yet lashing out all the same - "You did it...!" There is no one else around. She's picked a moment where their patrol diverts, some for hunting, others to carry on to the SkyClan border. Her tail lashes, brushing aside fluttering snow - the river blue of her eyes seems to leak with fearful tears.

"You and Pebbletail - StarClan, Middy. Why? Why?" They fell through the ice. No one knows exactly how it happened, perhaps rumors have since been tossed around - but the dark furred molly has her own assumptions. She grinds her teeth together and furrows her brow. They're both okay now, a little cold but rest seems to have cleared them both of any trueborn illness. Her shoulders tense as if she is readying to pounce at her former partner. The tears spill to her cheeks, freezing with the chilled air.

"You would have me do it alone, wouldn't you?" She speaks too quickly. Like with Shellpool, expressing her love for the molly's brother before the tom could explain himself, she exposes details and worries and sharp, painful fears. Her mind catches up, a sharp - wait! - echoing in the shadows of whats left. Sanity clings to the ribbons of her anxiety, "You would have me a weeping widow, a lonely mother with no father for my kits? It would make you happy, wouldn't it?" Fuck!

She lets out a shaky breath, a slow step retreating from Midnightash. Her stomach feels queasy, but she's done well with the nausea thus far. "Middy..." she starts again, the anger dissipating into something nearly unreadable, entirely uncertain. She hardly recognizes how she still calls the molly by a playful moniker, despite their split paths. "... please don't..." her voice cracks. She's messed up again - she always messes up.
 
જ➶ Had she expected for Splash to come and confront her about the incident? Partially. Maybe especially because of how the rumors quickly circulate. It is not unknown the venom that she has against Pebbletail. The now dead anger that used to pulse in her veins for him when she laid her burning orbs upon his pelt. Of course there will be talk and speculation and it isn't like she did not make them place the blame squarely on herself. She told them that she dares him to go out on the ice, it is all her fault. So when the dark furred molly speckled with laden frost comes to her with snapping maw it makes her tense up slightly. Her voice holds some kind of emotion and she winces slightly, not sure what it is but understanding to a degree. "Wait Splash, let me explain." But she can't get a word in. It's stagnant on her tongue anyway when she hears a question. Confusing swimming in her gaze as she tilts her head. Finally facing the other fully. "Have you do what alone, exactly?"

It takes a moment. Her words flying and coming so quickly. But her mind catches up and her gaze widens. Have her be a weeping widow to raise her kits alone. Her kits? Are they thinking of having a family? Is..is Splash pregnant right now? A breath hisses from her throat and she closes her eyes. There is no place for her beside Splash. It's okay. It's fine. Her ears pull back as she hears her nickname spoken, hesitant and pleading. "Congratulations. " She begins softly before looking away. "Don't worry...I-I won't. I promise. I'm not going to bother you or him any more." Shellpool and Robinheart were right. She can not force someone to stay with her. She has to let it go.
 
She feels everything as if it is all daggers, icicles burrowing deep into her ruffled pelt. Splashdance feels her fervent nature fade into near nothingness, as if she had plunged beneath the icy waves. As if she is still frozen, then, just staring back at Midnightash. The discomfort and fear she exhibits are the only outward emotions she still holds to, her tone quiet, pleading. And for all that she knows Midnightash to be... the other molly does not receive the fire and ice and return it tenfold.

Instead, Midnightash submits, as if Splashdance's fury is domineering even to the naturally intense molly before her. "Congratulations." Splashdance nearly recoils with the softly spoken word. The promises thereafter - are they worth anything, after all they've gone through?

"Thank you," she tremors. A long beat, and she reclines, giving her shaking forelimbs a chance to rest. Again, Splashdance murmurs a quiet, "Thank you. For... saving him." Her breath heaves uncomfortably and she lets her eyes close for the moments in between as she settles herself. "I... I don't know what I would do without him. I wouldn't be myself, I don't think." She barely feels like herself in the moment anyhow.​