private you've changed my life // midnightash

[splashdance]

Magpiepaw's death sent waves through the Clan. Splashdance felt awkward about it, admittedly - she didn't know them all too well despite being their denmate. They weren't close, she and the deceased, but she's found in the days following that their death severely affected someone who the black furred she-cat cannot help but feel drawn to. Midnightash.

The other's fur has lost some of its sheen, and Splashdance has noticed how she appears lethargic in her grief, unwilling to participate in sharing tongues or gossiping with the other warriors. Splashdance would've thought the hours where the other was silent would've been a sweet relief, but given the context... instead, she wants to help. She doesn't like that they do not get along, doesn't like that Midnightash would rather her drown or leave than be amicable. But the darkling of a warrior still cannot help her empathy. Losing someone close to the heart is a painful experience... somehow, Splashdance knows that too well.

"Midnightash," she greets the warrior, who lounges in her decaying nest. The younger one holds fresh moss, gentle blossoms tucked into the spindly green. "Get up. We're fixing your nest today," her voice is a little more terse than normal, forming a demand for the she-cat to listen to. The tortoiseshell was always stubborn, after all - Splashdance doubts she'd take to soft tones and babying very well.

@MIDNIGHTASH ​

 

[MIDNIGHTASH]

જ➶ The days of been a sluggish wave of nothingness. Nothing matters. Not her appearance, herself, her stomach, her life. There is an emptiness that has become all consuming as she lays there within a dirty and decaying nest. The last thing that lingers in her thoughtless mind is to change it. Maken it clean and fresh again. Her paws hide something close to her. The bones that Magpie used to collect within her grasp. The lingering of its scent keeps her remembering and at night when the others sleep, she weeps. Soft, gentle, till she is able to sleep. There is no one for her to lean on, no one that feels sorry for her and she understands that. But she does not think that she minds being alone in her sorrow. A shaky breath leaves her as she lifts a paw to rub at her tired eyes when a voice makes her gaze slowly trail up. Blinking with confusion she stares at Splashdance. "What?" For a moment she merely looks at Splash before her eyes glance away, pressing the bones close.

"Fixing my nest? Why?" The molly can not fathom the necessary need for a clean nest. Her own she feels is fine but she mechanically gets up from where she lays. Shifting the bones from the brown and rotten nest. Her paws shift back and forth as she keeps her eyes away from the other warrior. ​

 

[splashdance]

You're worse off than I thought... Gaunt with grief and living in a fugue state of mind, Midnightash can hardly hold herself up when told to. The clatter of ivory betwixt her paws as she shifts away her weight finds Splashdance's attention, and she blinks once, twice, before dismissing the curiosity for the moment. She focuses on the facts of the matter, not the feelings behind them (a hard task for her to do, admittedly.)

"You're a warrior of RiverClan, Midnightash," she huffs, moving closer to the other's decrepit nest. She discards all but the few pieces that remain springy, frowning slightly. "You're meant to be well fed, glistening from the river. And... well, you're not. You look no different than a ShadowClanner, right now." Believe me. Grief isn't something Splashdance hasn't had to handle, not in the capacity that Midnightash knows now. She knows loss, and somewhere deep in her, she knows what it is to be missing something... but a death in her life has never been personal. Even with the news of Chilledstar's death, she felt distant and almost uncaring, even though she was named for the snow smattered leader. She spreads her decor across the nest in a slow, careful fashion.

"I don't understand what you're going through..." she admits as she sits back on her haunches, "... but I'm not letting the cat that defied my very being to waste away. Do you really want to be shown up by -" her chest hurts as she says it, but the confidence and hope that it spurs something in the other doesn't waver, "- by a half-Clan cat?"
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[MIDNIGHTASH]

જ➶ She's lost them all hasn't she? Anyone within the place she calls her home that actually cared about her. The woman feels bile in the back of her throat as she stares at the bones she finds herself caring so deeply about. Her ears pulling back against her skull in her dreary contemplation. The other refers to her as looking like a Shadowclanner and her maw curls. "You would know, wouldn't you." Yet her words lack that scathing bite. The edge that wounds the heart. She just wants to be left alone. Why bother with any of this because it won't matter. Even if she is a Riverclan warrior she knows that there are those who think less of her. Would tear down their own clanmate because they are blinded by their foolish emotions and ambitions. Those viperesque amber eyes sudden snap to Splashdance then and her spine bristles. Shown up by a half clan cat. Someone that clearly doesn't belong but has so easily stripped the defenses of everyone else within the clan. Of course she denies her very being. Why wouldn't she? It's the sheer opposite of her own.

"Why do you care so much? You have every cat eating out of your paws here. Tricking them into believing you're some great asset to our clan when you were born from traitorous means. A broken code! Yet everyone despises me! Hates me for just speaking my mind. Me! A pure Riverclanner and now I have no one that cares about me....no one..." Her tones desolves into a hollow echo of the ferocity that leapt from her throat. Magpie gone, Moth gone. Others dissolved away so easily even though they were loyal to their home. Robin had been kind though...same with Moonbeam and yet she knows that that is only their duties. It's all a charade. A falsehood. Her paws pricked at the ground, before her head swings up to glare at Splashdance. "At least you admitted to not being able to understand. At least you know the place you belong." Away from her with this fake kindness. Splashdance is probably like the rest of them, ready to throw her to the wolves when it suits them. ​

 

[splashdance]

She flinches when Midnightash's voice etches into the air. There's hardly venom in her tone, dulled by sadness, and Splashdance knows she's welcomed the psuedo insult - and yet, she still turns her gaze away. There's no warmth in knowing that deep down, Midnightash is the same petty she-cat. Yet Splashdance perseveres, if only to help reunite the other with the spark she once harbored.

"I -" she starts, her own tone too soft, too pitiful, before she tenses her jaw and tries again, "I don't hate you, Midnightash." She pauses. There is the urge to correct, to fix - not all in the Clan have accepted her, after all. But what difference does it make? In what world would trying to justify her own residency make the tortoiseshell feel better? Splashdance rolls her shoulders back, squaring them best she can. "I... In fact, I sort of miss you. Who you were. You... helped me to be a better RiverClanner, whether you want to admit it or not." Her own gaze falls to her paws, now scattered with green from preparing the nest. She doesn't like accounting her success to the other's bullying, but she's damn near desperate to fix the broken feline in front of her.

After a long beat, Splashdance tilts forward. Should the other she-cat allow it, she tries to touch her nose to the other's ear. "I miss you," she repeats, softly. Her tail twitches as she stands again, dismissing the notion of affection with a flick of her ear. "If you cannot upkeep your own nest... mine is open. Feel free to join me... any night you want. I'm here for you," the warrior makes the promise confidently.
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