private A FEAR OF TODAY [roeflame]

⊱⊰ Cinnamon-brushed fur has become a source of comfort, and one that Hopekit finds himself searching for even when he doesn’t need to. He doesn’t need anyone to take care of him—he could do it all on his own if he needed to—but when he looks at Roeflame, he’s surprisingly okay with it. He had rejected her at first, because how could she be his mother when he already has a mother in StarClan? But now that Hopekit is a bit older, and knows how he ended up being taken care of by Roeflame instead of the mother who’d birthed him, he sees the burnished queen in a different light. She’s not just the queen who’s been taking care of him since he was born—she’s his mom, too. But something still nags at him despite the understanding… why is Roeflame his mother?

Gathering his courage, the kit tries to stand tall as he trots over to his adoptive mother. A small paw is placed upon her leg, an attempt to catch her attention, and although his words come out in their usual slow drawl, there is clear nervousness in them, too. "Can I talk to you… about something?" It’s a big question, he knows, but he can only hope—ha—that she will agree to it.

  • ooc: @ROEFLAME .
  • 81309324_2wmLWzBSS6UkcAG.png
    HOPEKIT ❯❯ he/him, thunderclan kit
    skinny, thick-furred lilac tom with deep copper eyes. soft-spoken and sleepy, but can be a bit of a grouch.
    son of batwing and leopardtongue ; brother to bravepaw, hazepaw, cardinalpaw, coalkit
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    penned by foxlore
 

-ˋˏ ༻ ☀ ༺ ˎˊ-
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Roeflame tries not to focus on the circumstances that brought Hopekit and Coalkit into her care, if only for the reason as to not wallow in what could have been, the kithood they could have had. She believed herself to be an orphan for much of her childhood, only to truly become one as an adult, torn from a silvery flank and thrown right into an ashen grip. While Roeflame loved and strived to be as much of a mother to the orphaned kits without overshadowing the molly who died bringing their light into the world, the brass queen would always feel grief for what had been stolen from them, the same had been taken from her.
Under the heavy green-leaf warmth, the rosetted she-cat is settled in her normal place outside the nursery when she feels something poke at her leg. Roeflame turns her optics from what she had been focusing on to level with Hopekit, squinting against the midday sunlight. The queen parts her maw to offer her adoptive son a warm greeting when he is quick to beat her to the punch, the nervous tremor in the young toms tone quick to earn Roeflame’s full attention. “Of course, little warrior.” She hums, patting a forepaw against a spot next to her, “come, sit. Are you feeling alright?” If Hopekit would take her up on the offer, Roeflame would happily shift her position to accommodate the new presence at her side, half tempted to comb through the tangles she noticed sprouting at the base of his ears.



  • ROEFLAME she/her, Lead Warrior of Thunderclan, twenty-two moons.
    petite cinnamon silver ticked tabby with murky green eyes & a small scar over her left eye.
    mate to Burnstorm ☀ mentor to Foxpaw
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted ☀ underline and tag when attacking
    penned by Noor@toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

 
⊱⊰ Thankfully, Roeflame doesn’t deny him a conversation. Why would she? She’s kind and caring, just the way a mother should be. Just the way… his mother should be. Hopekit frowns. But she calls him little warrior, and the frown fades just as soon as it had come, shifting into a reserved smile. Lilac paws move slowly when she invites him to sit down beside her, but after a moment he’s seated next to the rosetted she-cat. He can feel her fur brushing up against his own, so different in hue, and it’s another reminder that she was kind enough to adopt him and his littermate. But, he finds himself wondering, how far will Roeflame’s kindness go? If he or Coalkit messes up, will she kick them out? Will she regret her decision to take them in the first place? It’s this thought that spurs the kit into speaking again.

"Me and Coalkit. You’re not our mom… but you are our mom." It’s a complicated way to say it, but Hopekit can’t formulate a more simple way. Roeflame is his mother not in blood but in name, and he thinks that’s all that matters. Gentlestorm is his uncle, but as far as he knows he isn’t actually blood-related to the medicine cat. He isn't blood-related to very many cats, Hopekit has realized. He doesn’t have true cousins, not like Littlekit and Beetlekit and Dovekit do. His brows furrow, and he looks up to meet the queen’s eyes. "Why did you decide to make us your kits? Did you… feel bad for us? Were you friends with our parents?" His eyes narrow, as though scrutinizing the lead warrior’s every movement. The most serious expression he’s ever worn is plain on his face as he studies Roeflame. "Was it a coinci… coincidence?" Do you regret it, hangs at the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t let himself ask. He’s too afraid that the answer might somehow be no.

  • ooc:
  • 81309324_2wmLWzBSS6UkcAG.png
    HOPEKIT ❯❯ he/him, thunderclan kit
    skinny, thick-furred lilac tom with deep copper eyes. soft-spoken and sleepy, but can be a bit of a grouch.
    son of batwing and leopardtongue ; brother to bravepaw, hazepaw, cardinalpaw, coalkit
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    penned by foxlore
 

-ˋˏ ༻ ☀ ༺ ˎˊ-
dd766ql-e8b06172-29d0-498a-b782-e139a0acd9eb.gif
When thoughts weighed heavy on a kittens shoulders, it was more often than not in need of a gentle approach, delicate as to not make them wary when it came to speaking their mind. Roeflame had seen the way Scorchedkit had teetered on speaking the truth or concealing it with a shallow lie when the rosetted queen had approached her, and she sees it in her son now. In the lull, her silky brassed tail would curl loosely around Hopekit as she awaited the young toms question. When he finally speaks it, Roeflame cannot help the contemplative furrow of her brows.
The lead warrior supposes she knew this question would come up eventually, but never did Roeflame imagine the weight her sons sifting gaze would hit her with. Roeflame blinks and he suddenly seems much too old. Perhaps it’s the profound edges of the child’s expression that age him.
“No. It was not a coincidence, Hopekit.” Steadily, the first step down this rocky road has been taken, though with a regrettably fabricated start. The memory of a desperate Gentlestorm asking her to take them in sticks behind celadon hues, how his bronze had been swollen with grief. “I served on Howlingstars council with your father, and I had a great amount of respect for him. Your mother was always kind to me, but… no, I wasn’t close with them.” She pauses, gauging her kits reaction before continuing. Eyes glaze over with something distant for a moment. “I didn’t have parents when I was a kitten, I was found out in the forest. ” Another blink, and Roeflame has pulled herself away from her memories. “Someone was kind enough to take me in and show me how it felt to be loved and cherished.” A honeyed version of history, hopefully the only version Roeflame would have to give for a long time. “I decided to make you my kits because, from the moment you two were born, I knew that you deserved the world, and I knew I wanted to be one of the ones to help give it to you.” The revelation had not been instant, it had come with time. Softly, Roeflame would aim to rest her forepaw atop of Hopekits, “ I could never replace the cats who brought you into this world, to me- ” Roeflame pauses, lips twisting up something bittersweet. “but I will always love you and Coalkit just as I do Dovekit, Beetlekit, and Littlekit. Do you understand?”



  • ROEFLAME she/her, Lead Warrior of Thunderclan, twenty-two moons.
    petite cinnamon silver ticked tabby with murky green eyes & a small scar over her left eye.
    mate to Burnstorm ☀ mentor to Foxpaw
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted ☀ underline and tag when attacking
    penned by Noor@toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

 
⊱⊰ The touch of the queen’s tail against his fur brings some comfort to Hopekit, and his own fluffy tail moves to rest against hers. In response to his query he spots her brows furrow, sending concern flashing through him for a heartbeat. Has she already decided that he and Coalkit aren’t worth it? No, it seems that isn’t so—his mother tells him that his and his brother’s adoption wasn’t a coincidence. In fact, it seems like it was almost fate that had guided her to them. He knows she’s a lead warrior like Burnstorm, but since she’s taking care of all her kits, of course she can’t do her lead warrior things on Howlingstar’s council. She had been on the council with Batwing, who seems a bit less of a faraway figure now. He’d once been an important cat in ThunderClan; Hopekit blinks, his lilac-crowned head tipping to one side with interest.

Roeflame admits that she didn’t know his mother very well, and wasn’t close to either of Coalkit and Hopekit’s parents, but that’s okay. She also didn’t have parents when she was little, and she didn’t want them to feel like she did when she didn’t have anyone to take care of her. "Who took you in?" He speaks softly, curiously. Whoever Roeflame’s parent was—where are they now, he wonders. They showed her what it was like to be loved, and Hopekit finds himself wanting to meet them. They would be a grandparent, even if not by blood. Hopekit isn’t stupid, though. If he hasn’t met them yet, then they’re probably dead. Or worse.

She insists that he deserves the world, and the little tom’s brows furrow in an imitation of her own. The concept of deserving is new to the kit, but he still appreciates the queen’s care. Between her and Gentlestorm, it’s almost like he has two parents after all. Roeflame loves him, and she says it herself. Her tone leaves no room for argument. It makes him feel… kind of funny, in his chest. "I understand," he replies, but something catches in his throat. There’s a lump in there, it feels like. And there’s some sand in his eyes, so maybe that’s why they sting and water just a bit. "I… I love you, too. And Dovekit and Beetlekit and Littlekit." The lilac tomkit’s words are stated quickly, as though he wants to get them over with as soon as possible. He doesn’t like the weird feeling that comes with saying it, even if he knows it’s true. Even if he likes what he’s saying.

  • ooc:
  • 81309324_2wmLWzBSS6UkcAG.png
    HOPEKIT ❯❯ he/him, thunderclan kit
    skinny, thick-furred lilac tom with deep copper eyes. soft-spoken and sleepy, but can be a bit of a grouch.
    son of batwing and leopardtongue ; brother to bravepaw, hazepaw, cardinalpaw, coalkit
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    penned by foxlore
 

-ˋˏ ༻ ☀ ༺ ˎˊ-
dd766ql-e8b06172-29d0-498a-b782-e139a0acd9eb.gif

Hopekit is quiet as she speaks, and the tabby queen wonders if he’s able to process the words as they come, if the language Roeflame was using could be understood by fresh ears. Who took you in? He asks, his curiosity is natural, even if it gives the molly a brief pause. “Someone who isn’t here anymore.” the silvery mother answers gently, honestly. He echoes his understanding with a hitched and hurried tone, and Roeflame has to hide a knowing smile as she aims to gather her son closer and rasp a tongue over his ears with a small purr. “I don’t ever want you to be afraid to come to me with questions, okay? I’ll always be here for you.” A selfish promise the cinnamon queen speaks as she presses her nose to the kittens temple, the emotion that has blinked itself into Hopekits gaze enough to threaten Roeflame’s own to stir, the pain in her heart for her adoptive kits is stifling, but the love she feels for him and Coalkit is fierce. “Remember that blood is not the only thing that makes a family, Hopekit, you are unconditionally my kit.” If what she has already said has been remotely successful, then she has already driven this point home, but the sentiment is earnest, and something perhaps a younger version of herself needed to hear. Roeflame can only hope to be all the things that Roekit needed for her own kits, and more.



  • ROEFLAME she/her, Lead Warrior of Thunderclan, twenty-two moons.
    petite cinnamon silver ticked tabby with murky green eyes & a small scar over her left eye.
    mate to Burnstorm ☀ mentor to Foxpaw
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted ☀ underline and tag when attacking
    penned by Noor@toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

 
⊱⊰ Someone who isn’t here anymore… it sounds like a story Roeflame doesn’t want to talk about, and Hopekit is mature enough to catch on to her vague description. He nods, understanding, even though the kit like curiosity inside of him is begging to be set loose. He wants to know more about the queen’s past, and how she’d grown up with the cat who isn’t here anymore. Roeflame’s tongue rasps across his head, and the kit gives a flicker of a pale-furred ear. Embarrassment overtakes him for a moment, but fades into the background in a heartbeat. Having an overbearing mother would be embarrassing, but the cinnamon-brushed queen isn’t too much. He appreciates the caring gesture for what it is—affection, from mother to kit.

Blood is not the only thing that makes a family. It’s a simple phrase, and yet it brings Hopekit to a sudden frozen silence. It makes him think of the mother he’d never met, and the little tom squeezes his eyes shut, trying to imagine what Leopardtongue had looked like. A bigger, more mature version of Bravepaw comes to mind—the idea is comforting, but he doesn’t need it. He doesn’t need Leopardtongue or Batwing, as much as he wishes they were here, because he has a parent already. Roeflame is all he needs. He straightens, tipping his head to look the older she-cat in the eye. "And you’re my mom. Uncon… uncord—what you said."

  • ooc:
  • 81309324_2wmLWzBSS6UkcAG.png
    HOPEKIT ❯❯ he/him, thunderclan kit
    skinny, thick-furred lilac tom with deep copper eyes. soft-spoken and sleepy, but can be a bit of a grouch.
    son of batwing and leopardtongue ; brother to bravepaw, hazepaw, cardinalpaw, coalkit
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    penned by foxlore
 
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