private A HUNDRED FADING PRAYERS -- chrysaliswing

[DAFFODILPAW]

As days continue to drag on with no change, Daffodilpaw is slowly but surely losing hope of ever seeing Honeysplash again. It's a terrible thought, just giving up on his mother like that, but he doesn't know what else to do. He'd gone searching for her just like everybody else, tried to stay chipper in the hopes that she might one day pad right back into camp with a terrible tale to spin of how she'd been taken from them, but his hopes are wearing thin even as a harsh leaf-fall chill begins to set in. The thought that she would never again return, that some terrible fate had fallen down upon her head, was unthinkable, and yet it was equally unthinkable that she had just chosen to leave. It just...there was no way she would have left them all behind, right? Him, Adderpaw, Weaselpaw, Florabreeze, the rest of her family, even Chrysaliswing - why would she ever do such a thing? If she hadn't meant to leave, though, was that all that better, either? Alone out there in this oncoming cold snap, potentially hurt...or trapped in some Twoleg den, never to feel the breeze in her whiskers again?

Daffodilpaw doesn't want to have to decide which option he dreads less (he shouldn't have to, he selfishly thinks), and yet he can't ever seem to make up his mind and banish the ill thoughts from his head. It's particularly bad today, with a chill running through his bones and a brief lapse in activity between training and patrols, and Daffodilpaw finds himself almost paralyzed in thought, hovering about the edge of camp like some sort of wraith. They could always use some more helping paws around the nursery or the elder's den, cold or not, but he can't quite bring himself to slink over there, not wanting to bring the mood down or to put on a false cheer.

If nothing else, maybe he could take some time to clear his head - practice climbing or hunting, battle training, even, if Fawnwhisker didn't mind. Anything that isn't sitting around letting doom and gloom overtake him. Come to think of it, though, Daffodilpaw isn't exactly sure where Fawnwhisker had gone off to after they had returned from patrol - she'd just told him to take a break, perhaps sensing it was a rough day for him, and that she'd catch up with him later for some chore assignments before bed. He hadn't even thought to pay attention to which way she'd headed, or even to ask what she was planning on doing. A quick glance about camp revealed that she wasn't milling about, and he doubted that she had slipped out of camp that quickly, so...the warrior's den, maybe?

As he's padding his way over, pawsteps slightly hesitant, Daffodilpaw narrowly avoids colliding with another body, skidding to the side as he instinctively shrinks back. "Oh, sorry, I-" The apology dies on his tongue as the cat before him registers - orange-brushed black fur, and an imposing mismatched stare. Impossible to mistake, as though a mirror to his own. "Sorry, my bad," he repeats, quickly dropping his gaze away from the piercing stare he's sure to receive. His interactions with Chrysaliswing have been few and far between, and generally for good reason; his father isn't exactly the most pleasant cat to be around, though Daffodilpaw tries to pick up the slack on his end to help broach the ever-widening gap between the two of them. It's just...it's hard sometimes (all the time, really, a little voice whispers in the back of his head), and -

Have they even talked since Honeysplash's disappearance? Certainly not about her, they haven't, but anything else? Something more than strained pleasantries, undesired on one of their parts? Daffodilpaw can't say for sure, which makes his skin prickle with unease just as surely as the prospect of actually approaching Chrysaliswing does. Well, he supposes, the approaching has already been done, even if unintentionally - maybe he can capitalize on this encounter for a few moments before Chrysaliswing grows too prickly and he grows too cowardly. "Um...been up to anything interesting lately?" The attempt at small talk is lame and he knows it, but better to lead in with something harmless in case things go south too quickly to salvage.​

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ BUT GOD I'M STILL CIRCLING THROUGH ❀ THE DIALOGUES I COULD'VE HAD WITH YOU ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎

• OOC: @CHRYSALISWING
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• REF PENDING, TEEHEE <3
  
• DAFFODILKIT / DAFFODILPAW —. He/him, apprentice of SkyClan
  — .Chyrsaliswing x Honeysplash, littermate to Weaselpaw & Adderpaw
  — . 7 moons old, ages on the 6th
  — .An average, well-muscled orange-and-white dipped cream tom with mismatched eyes.
  — .People-pleaser with a desire to do good - dedicated, but still fun-loving
  — .Peaceful & healing powerplay permitted - brushing up against him, shoulder bumps, etc.
  — .Penned by Hijinks - feel free to DM me on Discord to plot! ^^
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[CHRYSALISWING]

Grief heaved within every aspect of a failing form, like a doleful wind wracking at the insides of a paper-mache pastiche, bemoaning in its terribly-soulful song. An ailing beast lived within him, flanks flowing and ebbing as he breathed alongside it - though every exhale returned brittle and whistling. Chrysaliswing did not know when the emotions inside him would rend him apart, tear him anew in search of something else to destroy. Soon, he figured that even he would not be enough for the ire that ran through him like curdled ichor. He loathed before he had ever loved, though it had only choked at his throat like dolor snuffed out rationality, a caterwaul that drowned out all else. No matter the volume of his screams, no matter the time spent wasting away, it would never change for him. Fate had been cruel to him, in the sense that it would never give him what he wanted. He could see it so clearly, in the reflections of all the love and adoration that his clanmates had for each other, but it would never be his to devour. Daffodilpaw especially reminded Chrysaliswing of her, as if an affliction that took root within his mind, an inextricable part that bled through his flesh. Out of all of his misbegotten children, it was the flax-pelted tomcat that he could hardly stand to be around. Weaselpaw was fiery and combative, but he could only look at his own mirror before growing bored with the impudence. Adderpaw was much of the same, but at least she had the sense to stray far away from him. Daffodilpaw was peppy and energetic like her, the same smile and the same spright and the same goddamn joyfulness that he wanted to pluck apart with his fangs.

Heterochromatic gaze smoldered in fierce recognition of his son, as though the mere act of looking at the spitting image of his late lover sent a handspike through his heart, iron bleeding into the hardened pulp of his cavities. His young son stuttered and shirked at his gaze, and part of him reveled in the fear that sprouted forth from the other. Another side to him mourned that all he could do was destroy what little remained of her. Pure anger flooded upon the man's face for a moment, like an impetuous wave through his gaunt countenance, surging through what little composure he hung to. The other had bumped into him, but who was to say it wasn't completely intentional? That he had come only to raise his temper once more, treating him as a circus act and not a man? A snort escaped his nostrils, like hot smoke rolled out through his maw. Fury soon faded into a dull mockery of what it once was, singing more like a plaint than a battle-cry, and perhaps he had suffered too much to ever raise his voice again. Eyes softened, but did not adopt a complacent light of forgiveness; he had little capacity for it, he knew. All he could do was push him away, and hope he stayed away for good this time.

"Get out of my way." Chysaliswing growled as he turned away from the stark reminder of what once was, though not one that could have ever been held by his calloused, bruised hands. He turned his shoulders away from Daffodilpaw, though didn't wander far. He wanted to see if his child would push his luck.

𝘯𝘰 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 ⚠︎ 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘷𝘦

• OOC:
  
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  —— CHRYSALISWING / He/They / 31 Moons
  —— Warrior of Skyclan / Mentoring Weaselpaw
  —— A long-haired tomcat with chimaeric patterning. His left side is fully black and his right side is black splotched with sunset-orange. He has complete heterochromia, with his right eye being a bright green and his left eye being a glowering yellow.
  —— Abrasive, temperamental, and critical. Approach at your own risk and engage at your own cost. Despite this, he is a hard worker and quick to call out what he finds wrong.
  —— Penned by Tempest. Contact on Discord (naruk4mi) for plots and threads.

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