private A lot's gonna change in your lifetime ❧ Vigil?

[Florabreeze]

It's a mockery of a vigil, that crosses Florabreeze's mind as she plucks flowers from the stems in her Twoleg's garden. "Your Da would've liked these ones" she explains to her children, their children. Voice thick with grief she encourages Wilting and Hollow with a swish of her tail for them to collect their own floral collection. "We don't have the flowers that SkyClan uses mainly when they hold vigils, but I think Kite would like it anyways" in truth they could probably find the lavender. She had thought that might be disrespectful to those that they had slaughtered, to the clan they stained if she followed it a little too closely.

Dark clouds gather over the sky, drowning the sunlight in a dreary atmosphere. Something she finds rather fitting as she guides her two kits through the quieter sections of twolegplace. While twolegs wouldn't bother with trying to touch her she knows that any of them or their kits might become rather infatuated with her own kits. Florabreeze wouldn't blame them, when she had returned home last night with muddied paws she had noticed just how sweet they looked. If she could forget the context of why they're so exhausted to be sleeping she'd have deemed them peaceful. The route to the park is longer by consequence, fat droplets of rain sprinkle against her back and head. Out of instinct she raises her tail to protect the children from the rain, something she used to do for Kite. The down side is that they'd have to get close enough to her for that to happen, the maine coon wouldn't force it and instead walks with her tail raised at an awkward angle just in case.

"You can say whatever you'd like at their grave, or you don't have to speak at all I won't be upset" she wonders how she looks in their eyes. How had Kite described her? It matters not she supposes. Acid green gaze flutters to the stone that marks their grave, soil now drenched from the rain but thankfully seeming to be undisturbed beyond that. She closes her eyes and for a moment all she can see is the blink gaze of once vibrant eyes, all at once she feels sick again. There's a determination to not buckle though, grounding herself in the desire to seem strong for such wary kids. "I'll speak first" she offers in a feather light whisper, hoping it will give them time to think.

She sets down the daisys and dandelions she gathered, resting on her haunches next to the fresh grave. "I can't believe you're really gone" she murmurs; voice cracking and splitting to show it's raw, frayed edges. "I had made peace with the fact that I wouldn't see you again, only for you to come back and leave for good this time" how cruel, it's a silent lament and not one she's willing to bring up in front of the kits. "I will remember the best parts of you, I remember the cat who was always dry and to the point. While some how managing to be the most sincere and emotional cat I knew." She doesn't notice the tears that well in her eyes, mistaking the wet streaks of her cheeks to be the rain overhead.

"I remember how you liked the birds around the clan, how you purred, how every day without fail you'd press against me in greeting" her throat constricts as she deliberates her next words. "Kite I won't forgive you but I will always love you, I hope you enjoy an endless hunt and an abundance of prey in StarClan. I hope you forge new friendships and make amends. Goodbye, I love you." If she thinks too hard she's pretty sure she'd wail, it's not something her children need to deal with. She wouldn't sugar coat her goodbye for their sakes but she wouldn't explicitly tarnish them, treading that fine line. With a small huff the daylighter looks to her children, and nods encouragingly for them to set down their own flowers.

"If either of you would like to speak you can. Or we can sit here, for as long as you'd like" the pine tree offers some shelter. She doesn't want them sick but she would rob them of such an important time. Florabreeze hopes her former mate had painted her in a nice light to their children and she intends on keeping that impression upstanding despite the horrible circumstances for both of them.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ A PARENT FORCED TO EAT ITS YOUNG BEFORE IT GROWS ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• @wiltingkit @HOLLOWKIT.
• 
  FLORABREEZE 𖧧 She/her || Daylight Lead Warrior of SkyClan || 42 moons
  ❥ A large black tabby maine coon with low white and bright green eyes, always wearing her mushroom print collar if she can
  ❥ Mentored by Sorrelsong ／Mentoring Daffodilpaw
  ❥ "Speech", thoughts, attacking
  ❥ Penned by Juice ⏐ouijeejuice on discord {open to being dmed for plots}

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[HOLLOWKIT.]

WHERE DID MY PARENTS GO?​

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this was not how this was meant to go. kitewail should have been here, and they should not be chasing after the very figment that their da often calls after. no. this is all wrong. someone has rewritten their story in ways they're not okay with– in ways they're not prepared for. the itch of a new collars sits on them, and as they fall behind away from florabreeze and wiltingkit, their hind claws come out as they scratch, and scratch. this thing shackles them to a life that they now must live. they wish to take it off, but it is nothing if it's not secure. an invisible chain tugs, and they stumble to their feet, few paw steps away from both cats, following with very squinted gaze. they can blame it on the rain, for florabreeze will not know of their vision problems by their own admission. if she knows, it's simply because she's paying attention, or that this cat that their da mentioned– fireflyglow, right?– has told her. but they will not tell her. coyotecrown seemed to believe it would be recalled as a weakness. they do not wish for florabreeze to see them this way. no. the stronger they are, the easier it would be to escape. they must go home. that place was never home, and now i have to go someplace else... which isn't home either.

quickening it's pace, it keeps it's head down, closing its eyes as it walks, listening to the sounds of the rain hitting against the trees, and the way that it bounces on the ground. it doesn't know whether to feel comforted, or to feel anxious about the rain. florabreezes words nearly get completely drowned out by it but it strains it's ears so that it may listen. after all, she's it's mother. it knows that much– the brighter side of its heart reaches out for the phantom comfort, but it's brain stops it. it can't do it. it's told it can speak, or not, and it only presses a paw to where it still faintly feels it's da's paw. the sticky wetness of their own paw, now caked into its fur. it has no idea that it's all being washed away, like their da's scent. like their da's very existence. gone.

"i... don't want to leave them. what if they get cold in the rain? who's gonna... who's gonna warm them up? I have to stay. I have to stay."

loud enough for florabreeze to hear, they make up their mind. they can't leave them here. they had to make sure they ate. that they got water. that they stayed warm. they can't leave them. they just can't. they may know of death– rogues are hardly any stranger to it– but they're still just a child, desperate for the return of their parent. kitewail is all they've ever known. what child knowingly wants to give that up?

"da, you told me to tell you if my vision got worse... it did. r-right after you... I'm not gonna be able to see anymore, am i? losing you, and... and my vision... its... not fair... not... not fair... can't... lose anything else... da... please... please just wake up. i promise I'll... i... please."

it whispers, hopefully drowned out by the thundering roar of the rain hitting against the ground. it's only for its da. what in the hell is it supposed to do without their guidance? what is it meant do? who is it meant to be?
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