private AINT IT FUN && ash

Jun 16, 2022

Becoming her mother was a terrifying thought, but she had crossed a line she shouldn’t have, just like her. She remembers her mothers face twisted up in sick glee when she’d yell at her, the constant bops on the head when she’d try to defend herself. But she had done the same, screamed at Ash for something so minuscule, made her cry and as she looked in to misty eyes she saw herself, and it was terrifying.

An apology mouse is held in her mouth as tired paws drag her forwards, ears pinned back against her skull as she surveys the camp. The meek apology she sputtered out when it happened was not enough and did not sit well with her, an apology was supposed to be strong and said from the chest, or at least thats what Mother told her.

"Ash," she spots the little kit at the edge of camp and drops the mouse before scooting it forwards toward her, forcing her own voice to not shake. "I’m sorry for yelling at you. You didn’t deserve it." the apology feels foreign on her tongue and she inwardly cringes at how awkward she feels. "I know you were just trying to do what you felt is right. I share the same feeling." its rare not to see a sneer or a look of annoyance on Pumpkins face, but instead it looks even and if anything slightly apologetic.

it's a long way forward, so trust in me

Ash startles away from Pumpkin at first approach, expecting--

What is she expecting? More screaming? Or worse, tears. Ash doesn't want to make more people cry. She's trying so hard to be good.

She isn't expecting what does come out of Pumpkin's mouth. An apology. And a gift, a little mouse dropped at Ash's feet. Tears well up in Ash's own eyes, and there's a hot feeling in her chest. Did Pumpkin catch this just... for her?

She thinks of Pumpkin, bitter broken Pumpkin, teeth gritted and claws sharp, hunting all alone just to catch this for Ash.

"Oh," says Ash, because she doesn't know what else to say. She hadn't been ready for this. Wasn't Ash the one who was bad? Shouldn't she be apologizing?

"You... you don't have to... it's okay. I know I got everyone in trouble. I-I always get in trouble."

She's never seen Pumpkin like this. Awkward, genuine. Usually Pumpkin is so brutal, all her words biting at soft spots, and she seems so much bigger than Ash. But unsteady like this, Pumpkin seems a lot more like a kid, and Ash remembers that she is a kid. A big kid, but still a kid.

She wonders if Pumpkin would be her friend. Her mother used to say that sometimes people are mean because deep down they're scared. Is Pumpkin scared a lot?

Ash knows what it's like to be scared. Really, really scared. Maybe they'd be good friends then.

The kitten reaches out a paw and nudges the mouse back toward Pumpkin, just a little. "Wanna share?" she asks, unusually timid. "I... I dunno if I could eat it all by myself anyway."

i'll give them shelter like you've done for me

  • ooc text goes here
  • - three moons old
    - will bite you
    - will put nettles in your nest
    - latches onto anyone who shows her affection
    - she's trying her best, i swear