-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- his paws are sweaty. he is shaking, though subtly, and he can't stop the pounding of his heart against his chest. this was it, wasn't it? this was it. he's done this walk before and every time he has been so close, but just barely missing the mark, unable to completely the task in the time given. he's watched his peers, the same age and younger than him, become warriors before him. he is left behind to pick up the pieces. it doesn't really make him sad, but it does make him anxious. would he ever be good enough to be a warrior? would he ever live up to the promise that he promised his mom? so far he's not done a good job at that and that makes his body ache in ways he can't explain. nothing would ever make him feel less than then not being able to keep his promise to his mother. he wants to make her proud so that one day when he sees her again, she will greet him with smiles and love. she would do it either way, but at least this way she can say her son became something to be remembered by– his kindness and his ability to provide for his clan. that's what he's always wanted.
i can do this. i can do this. i can. im ready... aren't i? that little voice of doubt does not help in the face of it all. he swallows thickly as, much to his surprise, he finds nothing to say about anything. he is so focused on what might be, what could happen, that he very well might throw up. his stomach twists in ways that he almost finds himself leaning over a bush. acid crawls up his throat with a vengeance but he forces it down. his ears pin as he walks just a few steps behind his mentor. he thinks that maybe that will give him just a little more time to prepare but he's had moons. he has to do this now. he can't back out. he needs this. he isn't sure he can take failing again. despite how happy go lucky he may seem, how optimistic, he thinks that failing would crush him beyond repair. he would smile on the outside while rotting on the inside, for no one to see. i have to do this.
leafhusk finally stops, and he stops after a few more paces. he turns to face her, taking in her words as if he hadn't heard them before. his head nods as he listens, and before he goes off into the forest, he makes sure that he pushes his body against hers, with a soft look in his eyes. he has to do this. if not for his mom in starclan, then for leafhusk. he hopes that she realizes that he appreciates her. he loves her, like an apprentice would love their mentor who has taken so much time out of her warrior duties to teach them of all cats. he is grateful she was willing and patient. stars know that he just needed a bit more patience than most. he steps away from her, doing a few good stretched and nodding his head towards her with a promise.
"you can count on me to finish this time. i promise. and thank you. again."
and with that he heads off into the forest, disappearing into the cold frosted trees, with a small skip in his steps. even with that, he is light when he steps. he is a bigger cat, this he knows, but he still walks lightly. if he had any intentions on it, he could sneak up behind anyone. but he doesn't. the only things he needs to sneak up on is prey. he can do this. he can do this. he can absolutely do this. he has to do this. he will do this. he has no choice. he will come back with three pieces of prey no matter if takes him days. and if it did, maybe that level determination would allow for him to be a warrior. alright. he needs to focus. deep breath in, and deep breath out. he stops walking and gives himself time to rest, looking towards the sky to see what time it was.
until sundown. he's only got until sundown. it's early, sure, but three pieces of prey in leafbare? it almost seemed impossible. another breath in and another breath out. he rolls his shoulders and closes his eyes, ears angling so that he can pick up anything. he parts his jaw and fully takes in any scent around him, the cold air making it feel as if ice sticks to his lungs. but he does not let this stop him. his closes his mouth as he turns to face in the direction of some sort of scent trail. his eyes peel open as he squints his gaze. mouse. his mind tells him and he nods at it. he walks on ahead, before slowly crouching to the ground. orangepaw sees the smallest of paw prints within the snow, headed into a bustle of bushes. he is very quiet when he approaches the bush, ear twitching. he feels his muscles bunch on instinct, but he's gotta be smart about this. he heads to the other side of the bush, using his tail to make enough ruckus for the little creature to rush out. it's enough, as it suddenly tries to escape but orangepaw is determined.
he bunches his muscles, leaning back and pouncing right on the decently plump mouse, killing it with a swift bite so that it does not suffer in his claws. he picks it up with a small beam of pride in his chest. this prey could feed at least two cats, or many young kits if they shared properly. already, he is doing better than the last few times. he finds a place to hide his prey so that nothing else may get it and he continues his journey to find another.
and journey is right. it takes him a while to pick up another scent, and somewhere in between has taken a break. he has to. his leg aches, his head hurts, but he refuses to back down. not today. maybe tomorrow, if he is lucky, he can nap as much as he wants but here? right now? little breaks were all he could afford himself and even then, they're not long enough to truly be considered much but a pause on his hunt. he follows a trail of a scent that he's not too used to. to hunt birds a lot took cats that can climb properly. he can't– and to be honest he didn't want to. he doesn't like the height of it all, even if it does get him closer to the stars. he's not naive enough to believe he can see his mother from the top of a tree, however. not anymore.
he slows down, and stops all together. the beat of a pair of wings draws his attention and he finds the avian on the ground. it's a wood pigeon. a piece of prey like that would feed plenty, and perhaps earn him some kudos points and praise. with a gentle grit of his teeth, he gets into position. he is serious, leaving little room for error in the places he steps. he is calculated, and focused. he would catch this prey, even if it takes his last breath away from him. his gaze follows and he takes in what the bird is doing. he is not stupid enough to just charge after the bird. he knows it'll fly right off and he will miss his chance. he can't miss. he has to do this. so he waits. like a lion, he waits, and as soon as the opportunity presents itself, as soon as the bird comes just a bit closer, he lunges.
he tackles the pigeon on the ground, holding it steady and with a quick crack, the bird falls limp. he winces as the way his leg begins to ache. he had to have landed on it funny with that pounce but he will prevail nonetheless. he hides the pigeon, and continues. one more piece. his gaze moves back to the sky as he takes in the time. he hasn't even realized how much as gone by until now. he didn't have long. he needed to find something else and quick. he can't fail. he just can't.
it takes him so long to find anything. the sun is starting to move downwards, and though it is not yet sundown, he can feel it looming over him. he is so tired. he's searched everywhere. his fur is a mess, his limp is more dramatic than usual, his eyes are droopy and he's got sticks and branches all throughout his pelt. he's exhausted. but he will not give up. he is so close that he can taste it. he can hear his warrior name from flamestar, and that is enough to get him to keep going, in spite of him wanting to give up. he is still quiet when he walks, and he is quick as his aching bones can carry him. the sudden movement nearby makes him stop all together, to find something white and fluffy along the thunderclan side of the boarder. rarely did these little ones come here but if he can catch this… if he can manage to do this one thing, he will pass.
he isn't a cat of speed. he would be an absolutely mousebrain to try and pretend like he was. but he could outsmart. his muscles ached at the thought but one last push. he just needed this one last push, and then he'd be done. his gaze moves back to the sky and he realizes he's nearly out of time. it's now or never. you can do this, orangepaw. remember what leafhusk has taught you. breath in, breath out. steady on your paws. you can do this, he reminds himself over and over like a steady cadence. so, he takes off, unsteady run but a run nonetheless and he isn't directly going towards the rabbit. no. he is luring it to a false sense of safety from where it is, and after so many attempts at doing this, he's slowing down and so is the rabbit. he as small cuts and bruises from falling over so many times, but he can't stop.
he leaps one last time crashing right into the bunny, teeth locking on its throat before he crushes with all the strength he has left. he nearly collapses right then and there but he can't. he still has to bring each piece of prey to leafhusk. with heavy breaths, and tired paws, he does it. mouse. wood pigeon. rabbit. all put right in front of his mentor and he collapses to the ground with an exhausted laugh, and the brightest smile he's managed in a really long time.
"m-mo– i mean– leafhusk! i did it! I finally did it! I caught all three– d-did I do good? did i do it in time? did i finally pass?"
the slip of the tongue is easy enough, isn't it? his mama may be with the stars but there is something inherently maternal about leafhusk, isn't there? she… is like his mom. more than in attitude, to orangepaw. she's been there for him ever since he got assigned to her and though the circumstances were not favorable, she never gave up on him. he loves her. he loves her like a kit loves it's mother. nothing would change that. nothing at all.
