- Mar 23, 2024
- 139
- 34
- 28
TW: gore, ptsd, depression & death
It seemed the longer she lived the longer her life, it went on an uncharted course. Her entire life was filled with nothing but the only things that always existed were pain, suffering, and the futility of her efforts. The harder she worked to make her clan happier and repent for her sins of allowing her mother to die, to only watch her father be murdered by the rogues that took over Riverclan. The hours, days, weeks, and moons she repented were nothing. Was it a coincidence? The moment she had fallen sick, Smokestar disappeared and no one could track him down. Was her life a cruel joke to Starclan? She would've been able to find him, after all, she was given her name by the midnight-colored tomcat.
She was named Troutsnout for the spots on her coat that represented the common fish and she was given the snout suffix that was a blessing for being an amazing tracker. Her nose was her keen identity but it seemed useless ever since he had died at the gorge. If she hadn't gotten sick, if she were faster— he would still be leading. Lichenstar wouldn't have gone through the emotional turmoil of living with the guilt of Smokestar dying to save her, he would still be hosting meetings every day. Beepaw, Cicadapaw, Cricketpaw— the entire family related to their once former River King wouldn't deal with the loss of their father, uncle, mentor, and leader. What was the point of her name if she couldn't be useful to her clan for what she was named after?
You've failed Riverclan.
The elder sister decided to have a moment with her siblings after being separated from them for so long. Surely, nothing would go wrong with sibling bonds after so long? Everything was merely a coincidence and nothing would happen. The suffering feeling after Robinheart's accident slowly settled and wasn't on her mind as she distracted herself, gathering her siblings to go out to gather decorations that reminded them of each other. Once she was back and they decorated their nests with whatever they brought back, she was going to bring back that rock that reflected her best friend's eyes to her as a memento of their friendship. Robinheart would never have to suffer that incident again because she would stay close enough and defend herself next time.
“Do you have anything in mind that you two want to get?” Troutsnout would inquire as she watched around them as they walked, shadowing from behind as her two younger siblings walked ahead of them. A strange tickled her nose and an eerie feeling settles in her stomach, stopping for a moment until a call from her siblings catches her attention. 'It's nothing most likely.' She catches up once again behind her siblings as Magpiepaw and Frecklepaw plunder amongst the waters as a strong scent makes the fur along her spine. “Hey! Something's nothing right...” The eldest would snap to get the two apprentice's attention as she stared in the distance, protectively standing in front of her siblings.
That wasn't a clan scent, kitty pet, or twolegs.
It was rogues.
“We have to leave, now.” The chocolate toned warrior would state quickly as she attempts to usher her siblings back in the direction of camp, her fur prickling as the scent grew closer. It reminded her of when she was grabbed by twolegs and she didn't notice until it was too late. Would it happen again? Was this her punishment for being close to a Windclanner, allowing Robinheart to get hurt, watch her father die and allow her mother to die? Not being able to find Smokestar? Her heart races as a loud snap catches her attention as she spins around and comes face with a rogue. There was only one, right? She would chase it off as they ran back off to camp and she would join them after.
“You're trespassing on Riverclan territory, leave now and don't come back.” Troutsnout would state as her jaw tenses, flicking her tail to signal her siblings to quickly escape in case the scenario turned hostile. Her first mistake. The moment her siblings found the distance from them, the more rustle and a scream. That was Frecklepaw! She bares her teeth as she turns her back on the rogue as another joins and attacks her little sibling, having shoved her into the ground. “You clan cats think you're better than everyone. Focus on me!” A statement would curl towards the Riverclanners as she is tackled from behind, tussling before escaping from the grasp of the singular rogue. How could she get Frecklepaw and Magpiepaw home without them getting hurt? Could she, at all?
Of course, you can't. You couldn't do anything.
A whisper tickles against her ear as she attempts to bowl the rogue over, pinning him underneath until the scent of sanguine fills her nose. Blood. The eldest sister whips her head to notice a cowering black and white form of Magpiepaw, blood dripping from their face. “Magpie!” She screams out as the rogue struggles under her before using her distraction of her sibling as bait, a singular forearm of the rogue getting free as claws swipe across her face. A chambray gaze winces in pain as blood drips from her face, an eye closing as her heartbeat races. What do I do? Mother? Father? I can't do this, I don't want anyone to get hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone.
Troutsnout rushes forward and shoulder bashing the rogue away from Magpiepaw and Frecklepaw, a long plumed tail bristling as she attempts to protect her two siblings from the two rogues. I can't protect them. I can't protect them. The whispers sing as she leaps back from an imposing attack toward them, stumbling momentarily as she attempts to guide her siblings while defending herself and them. One of the rogues takes advantage of the loss of balance of the warrior, claws reaching forth as they streak across her chest and instantly spill ichor. It doesn't take long for red to stain her ivory chest and the pain burns, causing her to wince as she gets shoved to the ground. The blood dripping from her face blurred her vision and the searing pain in her chest made it hard to focus— however, she watched as the rogues circled her siblings. A splash of blood follows as Frecklepaw cries out and the eldest sibling stares in horror.
— — —
She felt small and inferior— an apprentice trembling in the brush as her father fought the rogue's claw and fang. She watched with her own eyes as she hid pathetically in the reeds as her father's throat was torn open, the laughter of rogues at the pathetic sight of her father. Newtthroat died in a moment. The father she believed was the strongest and the best warrior made into laughing stock and she couldn't bring herself to do anything to protect him. He died protecting his mate, Minnowfang, her baby siblings, and her. “Aa-ah...” Troutpaw whispers as she watches the blood stain the soft blue coat of her father, the rogues finally be driven off as she stumbles forth. “Dad? D-Dad?” She cries out as she crawls towards her father, an sickly scent of blood staining the air and blood staining her paws as she cradles his body. “Dad! Dad, wake up!” The screams of her mother follow suit as Minnowfang embraces her mate, screams of agony piercing the skies.
— — —
A father dies protecting his family.
The feeling after seeing Robinheart's mangled body rises to her heart as she trembles, an ivory paw grasping her heavily bleeding chest. The sight of the rogues surrounding her siblings made her feel in the same position as she was many moons ago, hiding in the reeds that blended with her coat. The sight of Midnightpaw killing a mother bird who sought only to keep her babies safe was a recent memory when she last felt rage. It refreshed the memory of her failure as a daughter, apprentice, and sibling. She was useless and should've died attempting to defend her father that day as well, even if it meant that she died but Newtthroat lived. Her siblings wouldn't have lived without a father and wouldn't be in the crippling depression they constantly hid from her. They tried to hide it, but she could tell. She felt the same as them.
A mother dies protecting her family.
— — —
A sick yet grief-stricken mother lay in her nest with the happiness drained from her. The love of her life had died and the sinful daughter was still alive, and yet all she had left was the three products of love, he had blessed with her left behind. The happy chittering outside the nursery of Kestrelkit, Magpiekit, and Frecklekit can be heard briefly. Rugged coughing leaves the mother of four as the eldest daughter stands before her, attempting to flash a fake smile of happiness. What a lie, mother. It's so obvious outside of us, how you would rather die and be with your father instead of live with him. Her jaw tenses as a paw rests upon her, “Would you care for your siblings if anything ever happened to me?” It wasn't a question as many would think, it was a request seeking approval to die.
Would you rather die than keep living? The dull eyes of her mother reflected her answer without having to ask, and she felt compelled to say 'No, I wouldn't.' She had already lost her father and didn't want to lose her mother as well. Troutpaw's jaw tenses as she lowers her head, “Yes, mother.” The apprentice would whisper as her mother gave a genuine smile— a smile she hadn't seen since her father's death. Why, she loved her siblings but she couldn't do it. I let father die, mom. She wanted to say but she couldn't feel forced to say it, watching as the life faded from her mother's appearance as she succumbed to illness and heartbreak.
— — —
A daughter killed her mother.
How useless. The previous voice taunts as her eyes twitch, her world feeling as if in slow motion. You wanted to be the defender— to always protect your friends, family, and clan. Look at you now, you couldn't even do that. Do you wish to lose your dear siblings on top of your best friend? Her throat felt tight as the visuals and audio of the incident recently replayed in her mind. The shrills, screams, thundering howl, and the scent of blood blended with the current situation. Moonbeam didn't know how to heal what had happened to Robinheart, it was obvious in the medicine cat's facial expression. Three screaming kits wail for their mother, and she swears she sees Brookstorm giving her a disgusted stare for not protecting Robinheart as she promised. A failure, a sinful creature. Will you watch them die?
A best friend dies protecting her family.
A chambray blue gaze is empty as she slowly forces herself to her paws, moving toward her siblings and the disgusting imposters that harmed her siblings. “I'll fucking kill you.” An eerily cold voice leaves the spotted tabby as blood roars in her ears, suddenly hitting a rogue with full force that was ready to lay its claws on Magpiepaw once more. The rogue struggles underneath her as their hind claws scratch at her, but this wasn't Troutsnout. Something had snapped in her. Her gaze was empty and full of nothing but pure hatred, rage, and the sins of everyone that she failed on her paws. Fangs react in a moment as her teeth sink into the rogue's throat, watching as they flail underneath her before completely going limp.
A weight lands on her back as she brawls with the other rogue, blood staining her maw as she shoots daggers at her siblings. “Get out of here! Go back to camp!” The cries of protest come from the two siblings who refuse to leave their eldest sister who stood high on adrenaline, but it's obvious that whatever took over their sister isn't something to mess with. The two injured apprentices scramble forth and race back to camp in seek of assistance to help Troutsnout with the final rogue. “Still standing, aren't you?” The injured rogue taunts as he lunges forth as the two collide, claws and fangs full of blood frenzy, and adrenaline. A long rake of claws flashes across the right shoulder and extends to the left, yet Troutsnout still stands her ground.
A sister dies protecting her family.
Does the sister live?
// trout currently stands in a duel heavily injured (slash across face, deep lacerations in chest and a wound stretching across shoulder)
— magpie has a wound ranging across their eye and ends at their muzzle
— frecklepaw has claw marks on their hindleg
the rogue is still on the territory and injured along with a dead, both high on final stand & adrenaline
It seemed the longer she lived the longer her life, it went on an uncharted course. Her entire life was filled with nothing but the only things that always existed were pain, suffering, and the futility of her efforts. The harder she worked to make her clan happier and repent for her sins of allowing her mother to die, to only watch her father be murdered by the rogues that took over Riverclan. The hours, days, weeks, and moons she repented were nothing. Was it a coincidence? The moment she had fallen sick, Smokestar disappeared and no one could track him down. Was her life a cruel joke to Starclan? She would've been able to find him, after all, she was given her name by the midnight-colored tomcat.
She was named Troutsnout for the spots on her coat that represented the common fish and she was given the snout suffix that was a blessing for being an amazing tracker. Her nose was her keen identity but it seemed useless ever since he had died at the gorge. If she hadn't gotten sick, if she were faster— he would still be leading. Lichenstar wouldn't have gone through the emotional turmoil of living with the guilt of Smokestar dying to save her, he would still be hosting meetings every day. Beepaw, Cicadapaw, Cricketpaw— the entire family related to their once former River King wouldn't deal with the loss of their father, uncle, mentor, and leader. What was the point of her name if she couldn't be useful to her clan for what she was named after?
You've failed Riverclan.
The elder sister decided to have a moment with her siblings after being separated from them for so long. Surely, nothing would go wrong with sibling bonds after so long? Everything was merely a coincidence and nothing would happen. The suffering feeling after Robinheart's accident slowly settled and wasn't on her mind as she distracted herself, gathering her siblings to go out to gather decorations that reminded them of each other. Once she was back and they decorated their nests with whatever they brought back, she was going to bring back that rock that reflected her best friend's eyes to her as a memento of their friendship. Robinheart would never have to suffer that incident again because she would stay close enough and defend herself next time.
“Do you have anything in mind that you two want to get?” Troutsnout would inquire as she watched around them as they walked, shadowing from behind as her two younger siblings walked ahead of them. A strange tickled her nose and an eerie feeling settles in her stomach, stopping for a moment until a call from her siblings catches her attention. 'It's nothing most likely.' She catches up once again behind her siblings as Magpiepaw and Frecklepaw plunder amongst the waters as a strong scent makes the fur along her spine. “Hey! Something's nothing right...” The eldest would snap to get the two apprentice's attention as she stared in the distance, protectively standing in front of her siblings.
That wasn't a clan scent, kitty pet, or twolegs.
It was rogues.
“We have to leave, now.” The chocolate toned warrior would state quickly as she attempts to usher her siblings back in the direction of camp, her fur prickling as the scent grew closer. It reminded her of when she was grabbed by twolegs and she didn't notice until it was too late. Would it happen again? Was this her punishment for being close to a Windclanner, allowing Robinheart to get hurt, watch her father die and allow her mother to die? Not being able to find Smokestar? Her heart races as a loud snap catches her attention as she spins around and comes face with a rogue. There was only one, right? She would chase it off as they ran back off to camp and she would join them after.
“You're trespassing on Riverclan territory, leave now and don't come back.” Troutsnout would state as her jaw tenses, flicking her tail to signal her siblings to quickly escape in case the scenario turned hostile. Her first mistake. The moment her siblings found the distance from them, the more rustle and a scream. That was Frecklepaw! She bares her teeth as she turns her back on the rogue as another joins and attacks her little sibling, having shoved her into the ground. “You clan cats think you're better than everyone. Focus on me!” A statement would curl towards the Riverclanners as she is tackled from behind, tussling before escaping from the grasp of the singular rogue. How could she get Frecklepaw and Magpiepaw home without them getting hurt? Could she, at all?
Of course, you can't. You couldn't do anything.
A whisper tickles against her ear as she attempts to bowl the rogue over, pinning him underneath until the scent of sanguine fills her nose. Blood. The eldest sister whips her head to notice a cowering black and white form of Magpiepaw, blood dripping from their face. “Magpie!” She screams out as the rogue struggles under her before using her distraction of her sibling as bait, a singular forearm of the rogue getting free as claws swipe across her face. A chambray gaze winces in pain as blood drips from her face, an eye closing as her heartbeat races. What do I do? Mother? Father? I can't do this, I don't want anyone to get hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone.
Troutsnout rushes forward and shoulder bashing the rogue away from Magpiepaw and Frecklepaw, a long plumed tail bristling as she attempts to protect her two siblings from the two rogues. I can't protect them. I can't protect them. The whispers sing as she leaps back from an imposing attack toward them, stumbling momentarily as she attempts to guide her siblings while defending herself and them. One of the rogues takes advantage of the loss of balance of the warrior, claws reaching forth as they streak across her chest and instantly spill ichor. It doesn't take long for red to stain her ivory chest and the pain burns, causing her to wince as she gets shoved to the ground. The blood dripping from her face blurred her vision and the searing pain in her chest made it hard to focus— however, she watched as the rogues circled her siblings. A splash of blood follows as Frecklepaw cries out and the eldest sibling stares in horror.
— — —
She felt small and inferior— an apprentice trembling in the brush as her father fought the rogue's claw and fang. She watched with her own eyes as she hid pathetically in the reeds as her father's throat was torn open, the laughter of rogues at the pathetic sight of her father. Newtthroat died in a moment. The father she believed was the strongest and the best warrior made into laughing stock and she couldn't bring herself to do anything to protect him. He died protecting his mate, Minnowfang, her baby siblings, and her. “Aa-ah...” Troutpaw whispers as she watches the blood stain the soft blue coat of her father, the rogues finally be driven off as she stumbles forth. “Dad? D-Dad?” She cries out as she crawls towards her father, an sickly scent of blood staining the air and blood staining her paws as she cradles his body. “Dad! Dad, wake up!” The screams of her mother follow suit as Minnowfang embraces her mate, screams of agony piercing the skies.
— — —
A father dies protecting his family.
The feeling after seeing Robinheart's mangled body rises to her heart as she trembles, an ivory paw grasping her heavily bleeding chest. The sight of the rogues surrounding her siblings made her feel in the same position as she was many moons ago, hiding in the reeds that blended with her coat. The sight of Midnightpaw killing a mother bird who sought only to keep her babies safe was a recent memory when she last felt rage. It refreshed the memory of her failure as a daughter, apprentice, and sibling. She was useless and should've died attempting to defend her father that day as well, even if it meant that she died but Newtthroat lived. Her siblings wouldn't have lived without a father and wouldn't be in the crippling depression they constantly hid from her. They tried to hide it, but she could tell. She felt the same as them.
A mother dies protecting her family.
— — —
A sick yet grief-stricken mother lay in her nest with the happiness drained from her. The love of her life had died and the sinful daughter was still alive, and yet all she had left was the three products of love, he had blessed with her left behind. The happy chittering outside the nursery of Kestrelkit, Magpiekit, and Frecklekit can be heard briefly. Rugged coughing leaves the mother of four as the eldest daughter stands before her, attempting to flash a fake smile of happiness. What a lie, mother. It's so obvious outside of us, how you would rather die and be with your father instead of live with him. Her jaw tenses as a paw rests upon her, “Would you care for your siblings if anything ever happened to me?” It wasn't a question as many would think, it was a request seeking approval to die.
Would you rather die than keep living? The dull eyes of her mother reflected her answer without having to ask, and she felt compelled to say 'No, I wouldn't.' She had already lost her father and didn't want to lose her mother as well. Troutpaw's jaw tenses as she lowers her head, “Yes, mother.” The apprentice would whisper as her mother gave a genuine smile— a smile she hadn't seen since her father's death. Why, she loved her siblings but she couldn't do it. I let father die, mom. She wanted to say but she couldn't feel forced to say it, watching as the life faded from her mother's appearance as she succumbed to illness and heartbreak.
— — —
A daughter killed her mother.
How useless. The previous voice taunts as her eyes twitch, her world feeling as if in slow motion. You wanted to be the defender— to always protect your friends, family, and clan. Look at you now, you couldn't even do that. Do you wish to lose your dear siblings on top of your best friend? Her throat felt tight as the visuals and audio of the incident recently replayed in her mind. The shrills, screams, thundering howl, and the scent of blood blended with the current situation. Moonbeam didn't know how to heal what had happened to Robinheart, it was obvious in the medicine cat's facial expression. Three screaming kits wail for their mother, and she swears she sees Brookstorm giving her a disgusted stare for not protecting Robinheart as she promised. A failure, a sinful creature. Will you watch them die?
A best friend dies protecting her family.
A chambray blue gaze is empty as she slowly forces herself to her paws, moving toward her siblings and the disgusting imposters that harmed her siblings. “I'll fucking kill you.” An eerily cold voice leaves the spotted tabby as blood roars in her ears, suddenly hitting a rogue with full force that was ready to lay its claws on Magpiepaw once more. The rogue struggles underneath her as their hind claws scratch at her, but this wasn't Troutsnout. Something had snapped in her. Her gaze was empty and full of nothing but pure hatred, rage, and the sins of everyone that she failed on her paws. Fangs react in a moment as her teeth sink into the rogue's throat, watching as they flail underneath her before completely going limp.
A weight lands on her back as she brawls with the other rogue, blood staining her maw as she shoots daggers at her siblings. “Get out of here! Go back to camp!” The cries of protest come from the two siblings who refuse to leave their eldest sister who stood high on adrenaline, but it's obvious that whatever took over their sister isn't something to mess with. The two injured apprentices scramble forth and race back to camp in seek of assistance to help Troutsnout with the final rogue. “Still standing, aren't you?” The injured rogue taunts as he lunges forth as the two collide, claws and fangs full of blood frenzy, and adrenaline. A long rake of claws flashes across the right shoulder and extends to the left, yet Troutsnout still stands her ground.
A sister dies protecting her family.
Does the sister live?
// trout currently stands in a duel heavily injured (slash across face, deep lacerations in chest and a wound stretching across shoulder)
— magpie has a wound ranging across their eye and ends at their muzzle
— frecklepaw has claw marks on their hindleg
the rogue is still on the territory and injured along with a dead, both high on final stand & adrenaline
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