- Aug 9, 2022
- 343
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Rosepaw was dead. Dandelionpaw didn't know if he could have changed the red tabby's fate in anyway, looking back and dwelling on what-if scenarios was unproductive and did nothing but settle like a dark pit in his chest. He wanted to believe StarClan had a reason for this, but he could only feel bitter and uncertain about the future now. His friend had tried to help him and paid for it with his life, if he was a more skilled fighter he wondered if he'd have been able to stop it from happening at all but the hawks were something WindClan had never dealt with before to this degree. No amount of skill was going to change the fact he was just an apprentice, he had no way of seeing the future and knowing how to respond to the attack., there was nothing he could have done. But still, still yet he thought about it constantly; his rational side being beaten into the ground by the insistance that if he was just a little stronger, just a little more capable, he could have spared them all such grief. If only he was better at reading the vision sent to him, if only he was able to fight with a tenacity like a lion, if only...if only...if only...
'If only's were not going to change anything, but he certainly could. Dandelionpaw had asked a lot of Coldsnap before; one too many times to carry a body for burial and one too many times pleading for morality to form at some point within the hearts of their clanmates. He was asking more even now, to teach him to fight-he did not care the means or the method so long as he could hold his own and so that perhaps in the future he could wield his claws to save lives the same way he did with plants. At the very least, it would be a good distraction for his mind which was otherwise clouded with so many different things that he felt lost in the ocean of it all. On long strides he kept pace alongside the dark tabby, steps light and careful and posture lacking his usual slouch.
"Try not t'mess up me face now..." The sepia point would state with a teasing tone, standing at the edge of the camp where they had the space and he was not far from his den in case of an emergency, "Ain't got a leg to stand on but at least ah'm pretty." A loner once made a joke moments before bleeding out at the barn, he'd stopped in seeking help and not a cat could aid him in his injuries; gallows humor-one of the other barn cats had called it. The last dying words of a soul meant to make light of their circumstances and he wondered if it applied here when he was not quite dead but felt almost rotted inside from his grief and apprehension.
@Coldsnap