changing every so slightly // Cicada


from neverland
Jul 8, 2022

One, two, three, turn. One, two, three turn. Raccoonpaw paced back and forth in front of the apprentices' den, quietly looking at their paws as they moved along. The young cat seemed rather- antsy or bored or both really. Change wasn't something they where use to, or something they encountered often, and they weren't sure how to handle it. Cicadastar felt like his paranoia was getting the better of him and Buck finally joined, or well now Buckgait, and everyone had new names. Caraway wasn't Caraway anymore, they where Willowroot, and even Raccoon had a new name- Raccoonpaw. They weren't sure how they liked it or anything like that, and they gave a soft sigh as their reflection passed by the rivers' edge. They looked down at it, at their black masked face, their orange eyes and how tired they seemed. It was like their face was more sunken in and that happy disposition faded quietly into the background.

Why did everything have to change? Why did Riverclan have to come? What was the point of the clans? Why couldn't their family stay by the willow tree they had always called home? They existed long before Riverclan, but this was- too much. Too many new things and it made their eyes water slightly. Rubbing their eye with a black paw and another sigh left their lips. How could just a group of cats just- lodge themselves where they didn't belong? They couldn't have fought them off, there was too many and what would it be worth? Loosing a family member? Loosing a Riverclanner? Wasn't enough blood spilt?

Raccoonpaw put down their paw from their face and moved to lay down at the waters edge. Black paw dipping into the water as they caused a ripple across the clear surface. A ripple, like the ripple that had been caused in their life. Disturbing the peace they had known for moons and it caused sorrow to grip their chest. Why did it have to change? Why where things forced to be different? There was no answer to their questions of course, they weren't spoken outloud, but they couldn't help but wonder. What would life be like if Riverclan hadn't come along? Cara-Willowroot wouldn't have gotten to known Poppy, Buckgait wouldn't be in their position as deputy- but what about Raccoon? They where just some dumb kid, some young cat, and they didn't know what to do about it. Could they make a difference? Would they arise to the standards their family had been brought too?

It was all so-overwhelming. So much left unanswered, so much felt in this little body. Raccoonpaw removed their paw from the water in favor of tucking it under their chest, and curled their tail around them quietly. They just wished things would be normal again.