sensitive topics COCKTAIL MOLOTOV [ despondent ]

[claythorn]

// tw for grief and heavy themes!!

Claythorn's eyes were glazed over.

She had sat down like normal, ready to protect her kits from running out of camp. They weren't playing like they had been before she told them. Their wails, something that broke her heart to even begin to remember. Otterbite is gone. She couldn't feel, her face felt numb. Claythorn's thoughts were scattered before she had even begun to think them. Or, was he not dead, and didn't bother to come home? Didn't bother to return to her?

She remembers when they last argued. Things that he had begun to say about their kits. The agreement. She only ever had kits with him to secure safety. For him to protect the truth of her heritage. Did that even matter anymore? Claythorn's vision slowly shifted towards the apprentice's den. Iciclefang's betrayal of the code. Her kits, swimming with the blood of the cats that ripped her mate from her. She slowly tilted her head back forward.

It felt like the world shifted with each and every movement of her vision. Slipping and sliding like water along stone. Dizzy- her head hurt. Had she been crying. A paw reached up, but that felt slow and nauseating too. Her paw pushed against her cheek, brushing at it. No, she hadn't been crying, her cheeks were dry. Cold. How long had she been sitting out here? Tired eyes flickered towards the sound of approaching paws, and she straightened, an attempt to become carefully carved marble once again. An effort to become effortless porcelain, something unaffected and unshaken by emotion.

She was failing.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ┌── THOSE FIVES WORDS IN MY HEAD ⋅❁⋅ YOU SAID ILL NEVER LET YOU GO! ──┐‎

• "speech"

• 

• CLAYTHORN she/her, queen of riverclan, nineteen moons.
  ⭃ LH chocolate torbie with mismatched golden eyes, scars across her right cheek and over her left ear. cold exterior and threatening glares, built for stamina/battle and not swimming (tall/muscled)
  ⭃ mentored by darkbranch (npc) / / mentoring no one
  ⭃ mated to otterbite / / mother to dark-kit, onyxkit, sparrowkit, eelkit, dropletkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by dallas ↛ dallasofnines on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

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[LOVEBURN]

✦•··········•✦•··········•✦ He wonders what Cicadastar would have felt about...everything, really. What he would have done. Sometimes, the latter seemed a direct tie to the former— feeling dictating action, like it is for most people, but there's never been anyone like his father. And there never will be, and maybe the river knows that, too. Even if it's all just internal conjecture that Loveburn will never share with anyone or anything, he still can't help reaching for that unseen presence of a looming, sharp-boned figure with frost-hewn eyes. That's the nature of missing someone, he knows, and it must be something that Claythorn is very familiar with, too.

It's obvious she's not feeling well, which is really just proof that she must be worse off than she looks, because he's never known her to be so...fragile.

He doesn't think about how Otterbite may well have been another traitor lurking in the reeds. Well, he doesn't think about it much. There's no relief to be found here, with grieving kits and a grieving warrior.

"Are you hungry?" He asks after a moment. "I mean...probably not, but it couldn't hurt to try a few bites. Keep your strength up."

loveburn (formerly lovepaw & starlightpaw) — 15 moons old; ages on the 10th
son of cicadastar & smokestar — brother to cicadaflight & beefang — he / him
single & not really looking — peaceful/nonviolent actions may be powerplayed
please note that loveburn has persecutory delusions & sometimes personal prose
will make patently untrue assumptions and mischaracterizations of other people.

 

[DROPLETKIT]

Papa is dead. She swallows hard; when she had been told, she could only look on in horror, not a sound leaving her throat, not a tear rolling down her cheeks. He's in Starclan now, apparently. Which is weird, because she had just seen him yesterday. He hadn't stopped to say hello, or maybe he did and she just cannot remember due to the numb feeling which has seized her mind, but she had seen him. She had said hello. Dropletkit had always struggled with the concept of death despite Claythorn having to explain it twice over. All she knew was that Papa was never coming back again... And they'd never see him come through the nursery again, rare as it was. He's where Magpiepaw, Gladefrost and Apricotflower live now. He's living with them, and he's probably happy because shes heard Starclan is a nice place.

Mama, though... She took it hard. They've never ever seen their Mama anything but strong-faced, even during the flood she had tried to comfort them. Even during the flood, even if her mama couldn't swim well, she had tried. In all honesty, it scares them to see her so... despondent, out of it. It scares them to hear their siblings wail for a father they will never truly get to see again. Dropletkit wants to find the nearest secluded spot and throw up, really. Everything was too much...

But Mama sits there like a stone statue and it breaks her heart, causing the kit to teeter over on wobbly legs. She just lingers somewhat near her at first until Claythorn picks up a paw to wipe at her face, and when Loveburn approaches, she does too. Mama becomes rigid again, unmoving, unwilling to be moved.

Dropletkit wants to scream out, wants to screech and cry, but she doesn't. Instead, she sinks in to mamas plush tail, arms wrapping around it and squeezing it much akin to a hug. She's not sure if its meant to comfort herself or her mama, but she so desperately wants it to be the latter. She so desperately wants to see mama smile again. Mamas got you, Claythorn had said at one point when the waters rose, when she had begun to screech her head off in fear, and it had been enough to comfort the kitten in to quieting for just a second. She squeezes tighter. Her throat and mouth are dry, her tongue feels like ash, but still she parts her lips to speak something. "I've got you, mama." spoken so softly that one could mistake it for something else, but it is there. "I love you, mama." she reminds her, just incase shes forgotten. Just incase she needed to hear it.

Loveburn offers Mama food. Glossy pink eyes settle on Claythorn, waiting for her answer. They swallow a sob, trying so hard to be okay. They feel the grief begin to take hold, the sadness, and they try to will it away.

𝖢𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖮𝖭 𝖮𝖴𝖳, 𝖫𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖶𝖠𝖸 ݁˖ ❀ ⋆｡˚ 𝖫𝖤𝖳 𝖴𝖲 𝖲𝖤𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖧𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖨𝖭 𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖣𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖬𝖲

• ❥ dropletkit
  ❥ afab demi-girl .☘︎ ݁˖ she/they .☘︎ ݁˖ 4 months
  ❥ riverclan kit .☘︎ ݁˖ adopted by claythorn & otterbite
  ❥ small albino she-kit with dusty rose colored eyes .☘︎ ݁˖ very soft & fuzzy
  ❥ "speech, F3C4C5" .☘︎ ݁˖ thoughts
  ❥ single .☘︎ ݁˖ too young to consider love
  ❥ smells like flowers & milk .☘︎ ݁˖ distant nostalgia
  ❥ penned by chuff

 

[claythorn]

Loveburn wasn't someone she had interacted with much- his sibling was her best friend, arguably, and Beefang.. well, Beefang was a cat in her orbit, at least more then Loveburn. Still, guarded eyes flicked towards him as he approached, seemingly wary. She stares for a long moment as Loveburn offers her food, of all things, to which her stomach growled and churned simultaneously. Eating, when her mate was gone, unable to taste another fish or bird here?

She jumps as her kit finds her tail, head whipping around- only then did carefully defined marble soften, ears tilting backwards and a frown on her mouth. Her kits, her's and Otterbite's, left without a father who was already so removed from them- yet, left without one all the same. He'd never mentor any of them, never watch them grow into warriors, and oh, how her heart ached. She is still staring at Dropletkit when Loveburn had urged her, and she made a quiet noise, responding first to her young.

"... I love you too, my little raindrop." She uttered, head lowering down to press her nose to her kit- who was getting bigger each day, who would have to march off into the claws of training so soon. Claythorn drank in a breath of air there, hovering near her kit, before she pulled her head back and turned to look at Loveburn. "You're correct." She says, tone returning to that of cold ice, the way it was before Otterbite melted even a bit of it. "I'm not hungry."

An ear twitched backwards towards her kit once again, then- "I'll eat." She says moments later, words clipped and shoulders tensing again. She truly hadn't bitten into anything flesh like since before the battle, and knew well enough that survival was paramount to all.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ┌── LIKE LOVERS ENTWINED ⋅❁⋅ I KNOW YOU FOR THE LAST TIME ──┐‎

• "speech"

• 

• CLAYTHORN she/her, queen of riverclan, nineteen moons.
  ⭃ LH chocolate torbie with mismatched golden eyes, scars across her right cheek and over her left ear. cold exterior and threatening glares, built for stamina/battle and not swimming (tall/muscled)
  ⭃ mentored by darkbranch (npc) / / mentoring no one
  ⭃ mated to otterbite / / mother to dark-kit, onyxkit, sparrowkit, eelkit, dropletkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by dallas ↛ dallasofnines on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

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