private don’t look back, them days are gone 》breaking the news

[KITEWAIL]

The dark tabby's head dips to consider the frayed collar they would tuck beneath their chin during the final stretch of their pregnancy, when the scent of mint and assorted flowers from a Twoleg garden still lingered. The sounds of the kits around them are hushed as Kitewail stares, drawn to the collar like a moth to light— they half wish it was not in their possession, just as the kits are it is a token of all they must repent for. Their black paw trails along the length of it to press down on threads which unravel more each day. "Flora," their lips hardly part to breathe her name as if saying it out loud would part the heavens and allow the stars to smite them. The familiar pang of longing, combined with suffocating remorse, forms a welt in their throat which is hastily remedied by swallowing rapidly and by a great exhalation of all the air they hold in their lungs. It is not just longing for Florabreeze that bites at their heels, but also for their kits they have not yet parted with. Wiltingkit, Hollowkit... when they set paws on the cobblestone of Florabreeze's garden it will be the final chance Kitewail has at committing them to memory; they will always remain as their kit-selves in their Da's mind, less Kitewail dares to dwell. The tabby's chest heaves upward as they hungrily swallow a fresh breath of Newleaf air. Their head bobbles up and down in a self soothing nod before Kitewail rises to their paws to stiffly pad to the five kits.

They have prolonged the inevitable long enough, they have changed their mind time after another but what they will tell their kits will be the final arrangement. Kitewail promised Florabreeze she would see her kits, and the time has come to follow up on the promise. "My sweets," Kitewail's monotonous voice is strained, more breathy than it normally is. "The time has... come." Their dim gaze snaps from kit to kit to gauge their reactions— though it could not be that much of a surprise though, right? The tabby feels they could not have been more clear about their fate leading to Skyclan. "At dawn…. tomorrow…. we will depart and…" The tabby noticeably ignores Starlitkit and Larkspurkit, their upset applies to them too but they do not look at them with the same urgency as they do to Wiltingkit and Hollowkit.

"You two…" There is a harsh pause as Kitewail intakes a ragged breath to stifle a wobble which emerges in their voice. Never before having the kits were they been subjected to so many indescribable emotions, the type to crack the smoke and mirrors Kitewail disguises themself behind. There is nothing Kitewail can do about the fur rising along her spine and neither can they stop the uneasy grinding of their teeth as they fail to find the right words. "Wiltingkit and Hollowkit," Kitewail presses her pawpads deeper into the grit beneath them and lowers down to be level with the two kits. "I will escort you.... to your mother. Florabreeze." They stare gravely at the kits with their head slightly tilted, which they straighten after a moments pause as Kitewail presses up to stand once more.

Kitewail has not been entirely honest. It has been too difficult to clarify… that they will not join the two in Skyclan. In the part of their mind reserved for Florabreeze they hear her disapproval, her pleas for Kitewail to even attempt to communicate and be wholly honest. Finally they acknowledge Larkspurkit and Starlitkit. Starlitkit was told the news before Kitewail wrangled her siblings; she could handle it, she could handle the truth that her presence in Skyclan would be too distressing for Florabreeze. "Larkspurkit, you will... remain here too." The two kits' personalities inevitably clash but their weaknesses can be supported by their strengths, if Kitewail can help it. The runt is weak... but so were they once; the tom-kit can be molded in their image. A throbbing begins in their forehead as the justification for keeping them clouds their mind as Kitewail fights back the rational side of their mind. Larkspurkit's jagged maw parts to argue but shuts hastily as Kitewail begins to speak again.

"My dear sweets," she addresses only the two she will gift to Florabreeze. "I will... always be grateful for the time I have spent with you." I love you, to beyond the stars and back... Kitewail clears their throat and glances away to blink back an upwelling of moisture in their eyes. "You must... understand I can not remain in Skyclan... you will be with your Mother, so you will be fine. There will be... no need to miss me." They do not give an explanation of why they split apart the family, nor why they are not welcomed back in Skyclan— the answer would be the same as usual: 'I am bad... did bad things. I had to leave...' "Is this... understood by you both?" How could the kits understand, Kitewail thinks momentarily that maybe she must keep them all but shakes their head sternly— they must stick to their decisions. Hollowkit needs Fireflyglow, Wiltingkit's spirit can only be nurtured by Florabreeze. Kitewail can train the runt, she can save Florabreeze from the blasphemy of Starlitkit.
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shame is sharp, and my skin gives so easy

• @wiltingkit @HOLLOWKIT. @starlitkit @larkspurkit
• KITE ; KITESTORM ; KITEWAIL 》 a small statured black tabby with compact muscles but the very first thing one would notice are the welted scars beneath their eyes. kitewail is perceptive & clever. may appear unfriendly due to neutral expressions but is very sociable, or rather once was; in their current situation kitewail does not speak to anyone unless they approach another first. they have a soft, monotonous voice with a rasp to it. their gentle side is only reserved for their unborn kits, they do not care much for any duskclanner.
  ✧ 43, ages every 21st ✧ they/them ✧ mate to Florabreeze
  ✧ peaceful powerplay allowed, all opinions IC

  
  

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[HOLLOWKIT.]

WHERE DID MY PARENTS GO?​

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hollowkit tries to be more like the cats around it. headstrong and brave. bitter, and snappy. unwilling to take crap from anyone and not afraid to bite when needed. slowly, but surely, it's getting there. it found itself craving praise from others, desperate for approval– wanting nothing more than to prove itself even when it feels wrong. it's picked on others, even when it's heart twisted at the feeling. it's turned it's nose up and simply called others names– even when it makes it sick to it's stomach, to the point of nausea. it figures that these are things that will past. it does not tell it's da, or it's siblings, of these afflictions. it simply takes the punches and rolls. it doesn't matter how it feels at the end of the day, does it? no. all that matters is appeasing those around it, and doing what it must to be a good duskclanner.

it's unfortunate, really, that it doesn't seem to be enough. their da's words are soft in tone, yet as sharp as a dagger against a tender heart. it feels like thorns wrapping around their throat when they listen, tightening with each word and making it harder and harder for their protests to spill out. gently, their paw touches at their throat and they push their ears backwards as wide green eyes lands upon a blurred figure. it only takes few blinks for them to clear their gaze enough to have a solid picture of who their da is. they dont realize that this could be the last time they see them at all.

"...i don't want to go. i am meant to be here– i-i can be strong enough. i just need... a little more time, da. please don't make me go... don't send me away. i... I'll stop squinting. yes. I'll be stronger. I'll... do anything."

it doesn't realize how whiny is sounds– a far cry from the reputation it's been building within duskclan. the facade comes crumbling down with the very idea of being left behind. abandoned. sent away to some cat who is supposed to be it's mother, but it does not want her. it wants kitewail. kitewail means safety. kitewail means softness. kitewail means love. it cannot be without them. it doesn't think it will survive.
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