DON'T PUSH ME AWAY // crying

Jul 27, 2022

" I told you i don't want it!!" Leechpaw would growl in frustration at Rosepaw who had put a mouse in front of his friends nest. Leechpaw hadn't been eating for two days now..which worried the other apprentice greatly. All his friend had been doing this past days was laying in his nest refusing to really do anything beside staring at the medicine cat den there Bumblekit was..Rosepaw felt very much concernd by this behavior from his friend. He knew they where hurting, that what had happend to Bumblekit was leaving Leechpaw in distress and heavy guilt. More then ever he needed someone there right now and Rosepaw was trying very hard to be there for them. However, his attempts this far had been in vain. Leechpaw had been more moody then usual, and he keept on pushing them away. Not even this mouse he would accept from them. What was he suppose to do?. " Pl-please need to eat something.." he tried softly, almost pleading with the other to eat. In return he only got what Leechpaw was giving to everyone else. A hiss.

" Just leave me alone...." Still his words were softer this time, lower like all strenght had been taken from his voice. Leechpaw just wanted to be left alone. Right now he didn't wanted Rosepaw here. He didn't wanted the other to take this personally but he really couldn't stand being around them right now.

Rosepaw however didn't wanted to leave his friend alone in a time like this. So he would try to push it because he didn't wanted them to suffer alone in this.. " Lee..just talk to me...i'm here for you." He attempted a comforting smile as he took a step closer trying to reach out to them just like he had done once before when Leechpaw had been abandoned by his mother. This time though it was different and in that one very moment something just snapt inside of Leechpaw as Rosepaw constant persistent was too much for him to deal with. " For fuck sake what is it that you don't understand that i want to be alone?!. Always being so clingy..and annoying. " Leechpaw snapt his teeths right at Rosepaw's face so he would stumbled backwards, a sharp warning to not get closer.

" You're suffocating me!!." he snarled at them loudly, but once he realised what he had said it already was to late the harm had been done and he was forced to watch when the tears fall down his friends eyes. This copper eyes were filled with hurt over the words he just had spat at them like venom. Of course it send daggers through his heart over the damage he had done but still, Leechpaw did nothing when his friend turned thier back on them to run out from camp crying, leaving them behind. Usually he would run after them to retrack his words somehow but this time he didn't. He let them go as he turned his back on them too just to return back to what he did previously. Laying aimlessly in his nest while staring at the medicine den. It was better this way.

Rosepaw was running through the moors until he reached the outlock rook. It was only then he would drop down underneath that big rock to cry his eyes out. You're suffocating me!. This words had hit him hard it wasn't all that different from what his family would say. His siblings thought he was a burden, or useless. A waste of thier time and he could see the disappointment in both of his parents eyes. Everytime he failed at something or when he was to emotional they would tell him about it. Deep down he knew he was nothing but a burden to his family which was why he tried so hard not to be...Cooperative and doing all of thier demands without complain even if in return they bullied and insulted him for it. But this time such hurtful words had come from his own friend. Was he really to much?.

Rosepaw contunied to sob while trying to stop his tears by rubbings his paws at the eyes. But it was in no vain. They keept on coming and he didn't know how to make them stop once the tears started. Pathetic. He was truly pathetic...wasn't he?. Still, the main reason on why he was crying wasn't because of what Leechpaw had said. Deep down he knew his friend hadn't meant them just wishing to push him away...What he really was crying over when thinking more and more about it was that he had failed to help his friend. That he didn't know what he could do for Leechpaw in this situation. He felt... helpless. All he wanted was to be there for his friend but he didn't know how and that just made him cry more. He didn't wanted Leechpaw to push him away...

What a foolish boy he was.

// since i write about both of them in this thread i want to be clear that this thread is about rose and not leech so please dont approach leech in this thread <33


Weeping wound moor-bound, catching Mallowlark's often fickle attention. It was quiet, sure, but he heard the noise- through being not as speedy as his family, steps slow and thundering, he'd learned to track. Usually he hears skittering footsteps or the movement of a hare on grass, but- no, today, it was sobbing. That just wouldn't do, would it? Friends weren't supposed to be sad- his mother always helped people when they were sad, and today it was the white tom's turn.

When he finally happened upon Rosepaw, head and back bowed as he sat sobbing beneath the rock, he felt accomplished and brimming with pity all at once. His never-moving expression adopted a 'reassuring' smile that was hardly different than the regular grin he exhibited, and wide eyes searched to meet Rosepaw's. It was hard when someone was crying, though! "What's wrong, kid?" he asked, attempting to soften his chirpy voice in a way that clearly did not come naturally to him. Taking a seat nearby, his half-tail moved to cover inky mittens, muscle memory failing to recall the phantom half that had been lost.
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Oh. Tears and snot.
Crying, sobbing.

Molepaw was not good with handling tears, no- not at all. The tom-cat could hardly even handle his own in fact, whenever he felt tears burn into his eyes the first thing he did was blink them away. Tell himself to grow up, tom-up... as his parents might've told him. The world was cruel and uncaring, life as a loner has taught him there was no time for tears.

But clan-life allowed you to have vulnerable moments. Allowed you to let out a healthy cry in a safe environment, something that would take quite some time for Molepaw to learn, that it was okay to cry.

Awkwardly, he somehow finds himself at the scene. He's just... standing there, staring... Looking back and forth at both Mallowlark and Rosepaw, waiting for some type of signal on what he should do...? Should he... leave? Should he go get someone...? Should he... offer them support- oh no, Molepaw couldn't do that. Affection wasn't his thing either, he was not the shoulder to cry on type.

So, what... what did he do?

He stands there shuffling his paws, as he usually does, in confusion and embarrassment. Yet he felt like just walking away was too rude, but also... was just standing here and staring too rude? He didn't know which was the lesser evil, so there like a deer caught in headlights he stands helplessly.
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Hyacinthbreath couldn't remember the last time she had genuinely cried. She was never that type to sob unless something deeply affected her, but the sight of others crying always made her stand on edge. She didn't find it annoying or off-putting, but she certainly did hesitate when someone burst into tears around her. Wasn't that typical, though? The last time she had cried, her whole family had died. She had sobbed for days after their death, laying with their corpses in the rain as she grieved.

But when it came to children crying, Hyacinth felt something maternal take over her.


She stands to her paws as she hears Rosepaw cry out, an angry Leechpaw dismissing him as Rosepaw runs off. It's at Outlook Rock that she notices poor Rosepaw sitting, rubbing tears from his pretty eyes. She gives Molepaw a nod of understanding- it wasn't easy to comfort someone sobbing their eyes out, not when you're unused to the raw emotions. WindClan prided themselves for their tough exterior, the stoic faces, the bold comments. But when it came to emotion, most of them lacked competency.

"Worry not, little rose." Hyacinth speaks softly, a rare moment of vulnerability for the tom. She smiles ever so slightly, eyes fluttering as she moves to join the group of cats who sits with him for comfort. Hyacinth is much smaller than someone like Mallowlark, but still finds herself scooting closer to his side subconsciously. "We can sit here until the tears are done flowing. Cry it out. Then, we can talk about what happened, if you'd like? We'll just listen. How does that sound?"
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Rosepaw felt embarassed when he was found by some of his clanmates crying like this. Still his tears didn't wanted to stop! even if he wished they could...Through thier sobs and tears the apprentice would glance over at Mallowlark first, one of the cats he found to be very intimating at first apperance. It would be a lie to say their grin did not made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He wasn't sure if he ever would get used to it to be honest...but like he did with all of his clanmates wouldn't judge Mallowlark just for his grin. Right now though he truly wished he not needed to see it. Uneasily he would glance away as he contunied to rub the tears away with one of his paws only giving a shake of his head as an reply. Rosepaw didn't trust his voice well enough right now to even attempt to speak. He was sure he would only stumble and stutter over his words.

Molepaw was a present he took notice of but he was far to embarassed to even look at them, not wanting his denmate to see him like this. It was already bad enough already that he had got bullied by his own siblings that was he was a such crybaby, crying like a kit over the smallest of things...If Molepaw went back and told anyone about it in the den his own siblings would found out about it sooner rather then later.

Rosepaw started to try to hide his face from both of them now...but that was then Hyacinthbreath shared some words that actually was comforting to the crying cinnamon. They where soft and comforting, exaclty what he needed right now. So he would nod his head to them in agreement. It would take some long minutes more of Rosepaw just crying while whoever of them was still here seating there patiently while Rosepaw cried his heart out. Finally, once his cries had died down and he had taken another minute to calm down he was ready to speak.

" I-i upset Lee...i don't think he wanna be my f-friend anymore..." New tears filled his eyes again. " I just...just wanna help him. but...but.." another pause and this time he looked back over his shoulder at the three, but Hyacinthbreath in particular. " Wh-what am i suppose to do?." Maybe they had the answer to what he hadn't. Was there a way to repair the damage he had done?, to make up with Lee?. He didn't wanted to lose them...


"That varmints 'bout as prickly as a porcupine with less the charm, but ah doubt he don't wanna be friends with ya, Rosepaw." Dandelionpaw had been quietly minding his own business off to the side, having been wanting to see how Rosepaw was but not wanting to crowd around the other apprentice. Hyacinthbreath, of all cats, seemed to be doing well in the comfort department and he'd watched with a lopsided smile up until the mention of Leechpaw came up. Looks like he was going to be giving that rascal some words later, but for now he was just an afterthought.
"Who wouldn't wanna be friends with ye? Yer kind, nice, real fancy paw work with them flower rings ye make-does yer best no matter what, all anyone can ask fer and if they want more then that's on them."
The sepia point wandered over, plopped down opposite the silver lead warrior and he gave a friendly shoulder bump as he leaned in, "Cats like Leechpaw need to wanna help'em selves first." And that was just the sad truth of it, Rosepaw could be the best friend a guy could ever ask for, but until Leechpaw figured himself out he'd struggle to appreciate that. Most of WindClan, he noticed, could use a friendly companion but most of them didn't want one for whatever reason. It was enough to make a tom swear.
He waved a paw at Molepaw's presence, the awkward shuffling was sort of endearing and he expected it came from a place of uncertainty and not dismissal; some cats didn't know how to cope with emotions and that was all fine and good-it happened.
"Ye know what cheers me up? Mallowlark's jokes." And by cheers him up he meant gives him horrible nightmares to make him forget why he was sad because he was too busy being horrified.


Dandelionpaw's arrival is met with a grateful look from Hyacinthbreath as he comes over to sit and chat, attempting to cheer Rosepaw up. She listens to Rosepaw's worries, conflicted with how she should respond. Dandelion had already put the right words out, but maybe another touch wouldn't hurt.

"Leechpaw is going through a lot right now. Maybe he just needs some space, hm? You could hang out with us until he's ready to talk? Dandelionpaw and Mallowlark are quite the entertainers." She meows with a smirk towards the apprentice, tail coming up to flick his ear teasingly. In moments like these, when she could truly stop worrying about how others see her, it was easier to relax and let a more gentle side come out. She still had her reservations, however.

"Sometimes.. People drift, but they always return someday. The tides of fate never take them far."