private EAT YOUR YOUNG ☾ DOEPATH

[THRASHPAW]

-ˋˏ ༻☾༺ ˎˊ-​

It's strange to see Doepath in the nursery, there is a churn in his gut of something thorned, twisted, and ugly. Barbs so sharp it seems to catch on everything inside of him, she tries to ignore it but she can't. It's upsetting, knowing she's in here for reasons other than visiting it, and it's littermates of course. They debate not walking further in, to remain at a comfortable distance from the nursery and not have to look at the things that act as a divide between him and what he thought may have been the first cat to care since Bayinghound (if she even cared at all). Despite the briars and bubbling hatred it decides to cross further into the threshold of the nursery anyways. Fangs clenched so hard that the remaining scraps of milkteeth threaten to be shattered by the force of it, he wonders if he clenched his jaw hard enough if it would shatter itself.

That would leave her in the medicine den though, fate worse than death in their mind. So this is not an option, instead it tries to channel it through a flick of a tail and a heavy sigh. The milk scent that lingers in here is no longer comforting, it makes her skin crawl. She believes that it's because they have been reunited with the forest rather than just simply outgrowing the need of the nursery. Now the scent curdles, it can't look at the denizens within the same anymore, even the ones that he likes. "...Doepath" he announces his presence, unsure where she stands in his mind yet not wanting to scare her anyways. "...How... are you?" It isn't really sure what it should be saying right now.

They're not old enough to understand the complicated emotions it's feeling. Should they be saying congratulations? Should they be shunning her? Thrashpaw isn't really sure and so it stands here, staring blankly at the squirming forms by her flank. For as long as it can stomach it anyways, when she can't handle it anymore it looks back to it's older sister.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎A KINDLING OF A ☆ SWORD-LESS BLOODSHED‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• @doepath ࿔ IC opinions only <3!!

• 

• 
  THRASHPAW
  any pronouns, 6 moons
  ☆ A black smoke with abnormally bright amber eyes and a habit of crouching while they walk.
  ☆ Bayinghound x Duke | Littermates with Howlpaw & Yippingpaw
  ☆ Mentored by Antlerbreeze
  ☆ "speech" | thoughts | attacking
  ☆ All opinions are IC only!

​

 

[doepath ࿔]

What should be cause for celebration weighs like stone around her paws... They are writhing leeches, greedy and undisturbed by the havoc of their own creation. They do not notice the way their touch leaves behind bruises, sore and tender. Even she doesn't fully comprehend the cracks in her bones, the scars that split a mending psyche- so petrified of the thought of dying and yet so closely held within its reach too many times for comfort.

Was it selfish of her to admit she blamed these tiny souls for her suffering?

But I don't hate them, she insists, brows pinching together to leave wrinkles along the bridge of her nose, squeezing eyes shut tighter as if it might lock the cruelty from the shadows of her head. She wouldn't be like her mother... she wouldn't resent her children for the cost of their birth... She'd promised that to herself. Still... still it taps at her shoulder, an ugly monster that whispers, "Are you sure about that?"

A timid voice slices through the figment of her imagination, dissipating in swirling dark smoke behind her. There is an exhausted dullness to pollen-gold stare, parting heavy lashes to peer towards the shape of a familiar shade. Have even her kin become phantoms to sneer at her discomfort?

But Thrashpaw does not seethe at her... Too tired to mask the confusion that clips the corners of her lips in a slight frown, Doepath tries to muddle through the tar-like haze of her feelings. Limping through, leaving a trail of crimson clues but nothing so plainly written. The answer dances there, with red strings binding together all the pieces but the image as a whole is still unclear to blindly searching eyes...

Her answer takes too long to summon, a mumbled, "Huh?- Oh... I'm...." Okay? Tired? Alive? Which was appropriate when none of them wholly summarized her experience...? Could she even afford honesty with a relationship so fragile as this? To give Thrashpaw new reasons to be wary... knowing Howlpaw to be just as agitated by the circumstances (and that was before they'd actually arrived, before things got more complicated). "I'm just really glad you're here...."

It doesn't answer anything about herself other than a hardly restrained yearning for the companionship of her siblings... there is a bottomless cup that begs to be filled by the attention of others. If only she could figure out how to plug the holes that made it empty faster than it could be filled- family helps, it stems the flow... but doesn't make it whole again. "Is everything okay?" A piece of her is reminded again of a much smaller Thrash, creeping into the medicine cat's den, tentative to crawl into her nest and share a little nap with her.

The fawn she-cat wishes for that moment back- to repeat it again now despite the lack of space she has for another body pressed against her for comfort.

please dont leave me ➺ in the dark

• DOEPATH
  sixteen month old warrior of thunderclan
  she/her fawn sepia with low white and yellow eyes

 

[THRASHPAW]

-ˋˏ ༻☾༺ ˎˊ-​

She doesn't grimace, instead paws at the ground beneath her. They stare so hard at the path below smokey paws that he's certain they would burn small holes into the dirt from her gaze. There's something guarded in her tone, Thrashpaw doesn't quite truly understand it but it could be easy to assume that maybe she's just tired. He looks back to the squirming mounds by her flank, yeah, he would be tired too with bugs like that stuck by his side all day. "Why...?" It finds itself asking, he doesn't believe himself to be a pleasant conversationalist by any means. He was all teeth and snarls, sharp words hidden behind muffled intentions. It thinks to say that they're glad that he's here too, happy to be beside their older sister. The first cat he let himself grow close to, instead of feeling that initial comfort all he feels is barbs prodding at his skin when they meet her gaze.

Is everything okay? He thinks about it, once again looking back at the kits nesting by her side. The looming shadow of a young cat hangs back, despite her yearning to return by her sisters side. Wanting that comfort that it once had again, he is greedy in that right, always wanting that seems just out of reach. They want companionship, a need for that warmth that came from trust. Something every other cat gets but something his family is devoid of, he can't help the bubbling envy that resides within at the sight of these kits.

They might get that, he should be happy for them. The idea of someone getting that attention but that's not the case. That's not him, that's not her littermates. The idea of someone with this bloodline not understanding the brutality behind them tastes of decay and iron, she hates it, she hates them. "No" he replies with a shake of their head, it tearing it's gaze to stare back down at his paws. "You don't..." she doesn't what? "You don't want.... to be around me... anymore" he huffs with gritted teeth.

"It's their... fault... I hate them" it's spat out as if it was rotted prey, curdling any good will within. "Why..." she utters to herself, unsure of who she was asking the question to. To herself? To the newborn children? To his sister that she feels betrayed him? Is it really a betrayal though? They just aren't sure.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎A KINDLING OF A ☆ SWORD-LESS BLOODSHED‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• This is a little rusty apologies

• 

• 
  THRASHPAW
  any pronouns, 7 moons
  ☆ A black smoke with abnormally bright amber eyes and a habit of crouching while they walk.
  ☆ Bayinghound x Duke | Littermates with Howlpaw & Yippingpaw
  ☆ Mentored by Antlerbreeze
  ☆ "speech" | thoughts | attacking
  ☆ All opinions are IC only!

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