private fear leads to anxiety || howlpaw

[tigerwing]

Tigerwing did not expect Flamestar to make her a mentor. There was a slight twist in her stomach at the thought of teaching another- being responsible for another. Was she ready? Was Flamestar sure of herself, when green eyes cast down from upon the high rock, she seemed confident that Tigerwing was ready. Spirited and committed, she had said, and pride bubbled in her chest.

Of course, there wasnt just anxiety, despite the youth before her. It may be a tough one, skirting on thin ice even now as she stood before it. Something in its gaze made her swallow- they looked so distant, but focused, angry. On the other paw, Tigerwing was excited. She could prove herself more, she could help Howlpaw, she could prove her anxiety wrong, and she could pass on Batwings teachings. Even though, she was sure saying aloud that she wanted to help it would get the child to snap.

Batwings voice echoed faintly in her ears, her own green gaze flickering in the memory as a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and she lowered her head a little with a shy but gentle smile. Shy in the sense she knew little of the newly made apprentice before her, but that wasn't going to stop her. "Howlpaw," she purred, her eyes closing briefly encouraging the bright greeting of her face. She spoke gently, a calmness in her voice despite the jittering in her paws that made her want to leap in glee. She passed it off with a shudder of the cool breeze in the air- she knew she'd have to stay calm around him, collected; a test, she saw it as. Of maturity. Strength.

"I was going to take a sunhigh patrol- but I think it would be better if we go alone." It was no secret howlpaw enjoyed little to do with others. And she hoped one day to warm him up to... More overwhelming situations. But right now, she didn't mind focusing on just them two. What could go wrong?

"I just wanted to show you a bit of the territory- do you wanna explore ahead of me? Or would you want to follow me?" Options- those were good. Howlpaw was temperamental, and maybe those would help if howlpaw felt it had some sort of control of the situation. Though of course, Tigerwing knew she would have to step in at some points. But right now, she wanted to focus on strengthening their relationship, and learning more about the apprentice before her.

@HOWLKIT

​

 

[HOWLPAW]

Howlpaw stands stiffly, its amber eyes narrowing slightly as Tigerwing smiles down at it. It doesn't look at her long before its gaze shifts away, landing on a distant point in the camp, as though something much more interesting lurks over there. Every muscle is coiled and tense, a silent message that it's prepared to bolt if this new mentor steps even slightly out of line. It stifles an exhale, wondering why anyone would think it needed another cat looking after it. Tigerwing seems determined, though, her green eyes warm with some mixture of pride and resolve. She doesn't push, doesn't expect it to open up, at least not yet. Maybe she senses the tension, the distrust simmering in its chest. It doesn't miss her quick swallow when she looks at it, as if bracing for the bite of its sharp silence.

It doesn't like this – the soft way she calls its name, the glint in her green eyes, the quiet excitement she radiates. She's already imagining this bond, this partnership, something Howlpaw isn't ready for, doesn't even want. Flamestar must've known it wouldn't go well, pairing it with someone so soft-spoken, someone who thinks she can reach out a gentle paw and earn its trust, tame the wildness that runs deep in its bones. Its tail lashes once, a sign of its wariness, as if silently daring her to push too far.

Her invitation to explore the territory sounds simple, but Howlpaw feels the weight behind it. She's giving it choices, trying to make it feel at ease – probably thinks she can chip away at its walls if she's patient enough. But Howlpaw knows better. It's not here to be managed or coddled. And the offer to lead? It sees through her attempt to make it feel in control. She's already planning the day, and it knows that if she decides she doesn't like the path it chooses, she'll redirect it. Still, the offer stirs something bitter in it. She thinks it can be softened if she gives it choices, as if it's a feral creature that just needs a calm hand. As if it's a broken thing she's here to fix.

It doesn’t like the offer. It's suspicious, wary of what such freedom might mean. Howlpaw almost scoffs. After all, when has any cat ever handed over control so easily? Yet Tigerwing waits, patient, that same restrained warmth lingering in her face, as if she's hopeful but cautious about breaking its trust. It's unnerving, feeling that much attention centered on it, and Howlpaw shifts on its paws, more uncomfortable than it wants to admit. "… I'll follow," it mutters after a moment, its voice low, flat. It doesn't elaborate, doesn't need to. Let Tigerwing think what she will about it choosing to trail behind. Truthfully, Howlpaw wants the reassurance of an escape route; it doesn't know her well enough to be comfortable with her watching its back, and the distance gives it some semblance of control over how this little… test will go. If it decides this is too much, too soon, or if something in her demeanor shifts just enough to raise alarm bells in its mind, it can simply turn and leave. It has no obligation to keep step with her, no reason to lower its guard just because she's smiled and spoken softly.

It pads after her, a few steps behind, its eyes alert and focused. Every shadow, every faint noise, every twitch in the undergrowth catches its attention. Its gaze lingers on a distant treeline, searching, but the forest is quiet, undisturbed. Howlpaw relaxes—just barely—and focuses on Tigerwing's steady gait, noting the way her ears twitch, the slow, deliberate steps she takes, as if she's measuring her movements to avoid startling it. There's something almost… considerate about it, an awareness of its discomfort that it's not used to. It's strange, watching her manage this unspoken tension, as if she already knows how quickly it'll bristle at any overly eager enthusiasm or forced camaraderie.​