HUG ME, BRING IT IN [ owlpaw ]

Shes seen the avoidance, Honeytwist may be stressed out and beyond tired but she is still as keen as before. Sometimes she finds herself wondering if she made the right choice, if she should have thought about it more- she barely had given Dandelion a chance to object. She bites her lip as eyes scan over the low stock of the medicine den, a rushing mind full of thoughts that were unkind.

She rises to her paws to shake the thoughts, breathing in early morning air, crisp and cool. It calms herself down as she heads out, tail twitching behind her as she scans the camp, eyes landing upon Owlpaw. What was she doing up so early? Shes almost hesitant to approach, for this was the child of Soot but eventually decides that she had to let their personal disagreements not affect how she saw others related to her. Gentle paws pad forth and her eyes are soft. "Owlpaw, do you want to go out and search for herbs with me?" she does not add her plan to teach her basic aid, only waits for the response of the young apprentice. She would not push if Owlpaw did not want to go or even see her, she gets the disappointment, but perhaps if she did agree it would help just a tiny bit to get them on the right foot once more.

Honeytwist was right to assume Owlpaw was avoiding her - she was avoiding Dandelionpaw too. Looking at them hurt because it was just another painful reminder. Despite Sootstar's consolidations, Owlpaw still felt this irrational need to be something important. Sootstar was a leader, and although Shrikepaw was weaker than she, he had gotten all the attention from everyone as a kit because he was sickly and more outgoing than his sister. Owlpaw had always been in the background - and, well, perhaps she had created these delusions to cope with that. Though she would never admit to them being as such. She still tried to cling on to the hope that she had spoken with StarClan on multiple occasions.

And not just that. Her mind was an extraordinary thing, working in vast ways. Learning to hunt and fight did not stimulate it enough. She thought that learning herbs would. No, but it did not matter any longer. The door had closed on her dreams and she was left to flounder in the darkness of uncertainty. Her thoughts made it hard to sleep and her dreams confirmed one thing while her reality confirmed another. So she went to bed late and rose early. The result of lack of sleep would eventually catch up with her, but for now she did not care. All she knew is that she did not want to close her eyes. She did not want to see StarClan. It wasn't like they were real in her dreams anyways, figments of her desires manifesting into false visions.

"Owlpaw, do you want to go out and search for herbs with me?"

A trick of the imagination, a fragment of a dream in her waking moments. But her eyes, which had been glued to the ground, caught sight of a pair of paws before her. Her eyes drifted upwards and found Honeytwist's odd eyes beckoning her. Maybe she had fallen asleep in her nest and this was just another fake vision, but if that were so, how would she recognize that she was dreaming? So this had to be real. Orange eyes blinked in confusion. An offer I cannot deny. What if StarClan speaks to her while we are together, informs her of her mistakes? Another delusion crept to the forefront of her mind. That would never happen, but she could indulge in her desires for the timebeing. Weaselclaw would not be up yet for a time and perhaps her bad mood towards training would be off-set by this.

"I suppose," was her answer, an attempt to not seem too excited, but her paws tingled as she pushed herself to her feet and waited for Honeytwist to lead the way.