i crumble completely [ stepping down ]

[honey]

Her reign is over before she knows it. It has been on her mind for days upon end, since claws outstretched and drew blood, since her breakdown, since eyes landed upon the shaking form of Dandelionpaw. She was no healer, she had become a monster, so consumed with rage and agony and despair. She wants to go home because no longer is Windclan a home to her. She wants to run away, take Dandelion away, take her children, take Pollen.

She can't. She cannot unless she unbinds herself from Starclan, and thats the plan. Today she'd relinquish her position, she'd take Dandelion with her. She can no longer be selfless, she has to be selfish, or she'd snap completely, kill a cat, lose the last amount of sanity she had. Perhaps Skyclan would take them. She wrinkles her nose and a strangle hiss comes from deep within. No. Her former home wasn't a home any longer, not after what Sootstar did, she'd be casted away as quick as she came.

"Windclan, I am retiring," her voice holds barely any emotion as she announces it. Shes done. She can't take it, she can't, tears slip from the corners of her eyes. "No longer am I your medicine cat." its cold now as she holds her head up high. There are looks of hatred, of anger, of fear, surprise. "Dandelion is my successor, you'll be fine." with that, Honey flicks an ear and disappears in to the medicine den to gather up her things, take her flowers down. She'll try to convince Dandelion to leave later, she has to stop herself from breaking completely. Leave, leave, leave, she'll take Dandelion with her in the middle of the night and then they'll be happy.​

"speech"​

 

[Dandelionwish]

You'll be fine. Sure. Sure. SURE.
Dandelionpaw is standing there rigidly outside the den as she speaks, at first he doesn't quite understand what was said because surely it was some misunderstanding on his part, but there she went to move her nest, gather flowers, discard her title just as easily as she was discarding him right then and there. The medicine cat apprentice's gold and green gaze is locked onto his mentor-or rather ex-mentor-as she moves; his expression is hard to determine because even he himself does not know how to feel right now. Is he angry? Yes. Sad? Yes. Scared? Yes. Was it possible to be so many things at once, so many emotions simulatneously that his mind's response was to simply feel nothing? It was an odd sensation, but he welcomed it for the time because it let him rationalize it all. He knew Honeytwist had been struggling, faltering, that she was this close to the edge was unexpected but not surprising in the least to him. He'd watched her savagely attack a cat for the same thing she herself was doing now, but he wasn't the petty sort. He'd not respond similarly.
"...okay." It was all he had. It was all he could even offer was just a silent acknowledgement because anything else would do nothing. He was not going to rage at her, cry at her to stay, wish her well, he was just going to let it happen. Despite sitting in the middle of the camp surrounded by clanmates he certainly felt more alone now than he ever had before.
But he didn't have time to dwell, he didn't have a moment to think about it. Rosepaw was freshly buried, the hawks were still present, cats still had injuries that needed constant checking in on from those dirty talons. He thought about what he told Coldsnap-when he was still Coldpaw. If you wanted change...

You had to do it yourself.

The sepia point moved forward to silently assist the cinnamon she-cat, taking up mouthfuls of mossy bracken and bedding to help her rellocate without a word or single judgemental look. So be it.
​

 

[Marigoldpaw.]

Marigoldpaw ✧ he/him ✧ Apprentice of Windclan ░░░░░░░░░░░░░
Orange eyes flicked up from the mouse he had scravanged to get, and narrowed in on cinnamon tabby fur. Honeytwist, his mother, the cat who raised him, and he got up to his paws as Dandelionpaw idly agreed with this notion. "What do you mean 'no longer out medicine cat'," Marigoldpaw demanded as he stormed into the medicine den with fury in his dark gaze. She couldn't be serious could she? What about all they had been taught? Shes just going to leave like dad did he thought bitterly and lashed his fluffy tail, flattened muzzle pulled up into a snarl, "You're just going to leave, then? Just like that?" Beneath the layer of anger was a young kitten, too wobbly for their own good, with no friends. Didn't even get along with his own stupid siblings! But the one constant he had was his mother, she was always there. To heal, to help, to talk to, and now- she was just going to leave? Marigoldpaw stiffled tears that threatened to start spilling, "What about us? What about Melonpaw, Applepaw, Lemonpaw- all of us!"​

 

[LEMONTONGUE]

A moment of happiness.

That's all that WindClan seemed to have time for, it feels like. Because, everything around him seems to crumble after Honeytwist and Pollenfur's shared confession of feelings.

Rosepaw is dead. Hawks are still looming over the moorlands. Those on the patrol are still hurt, still healing, in the aftermath. Flaxenjump won't take him anywhere because he's too small, because what happened to Melonpaw could happen to him. Could be even worse, for him. Not that he wants to leave his sibling's side anyway. Not that he wants to leave his mother's side when he could be helping.

But the bad news just keeps coming.

Honeytwist's words seem like a final blow, an avalanche around him. She was no longer WindClan's medicine cat... just like that? She was... leaving someone only a pawful of moons older than him in charge? Did Dandelionpaw have the training for that? Everything he knew was changing.

Was... Was Honeytwist going to leave? What about Pollenfur? What about his siblings? What about him?

What about those injured, trapped in the confines of the medicine den?

"You... You what..?" he squeaks out. For what might be the first time in his life, Lemonpaw feels like he doesn't have the words to describe what he's feeling. Doesn't have any comebacks. Doesn't have the words to protest. It's just. Shock. That's all he feels.

His world was changing. He doesn't know what to do about it.
​

 

[Irispath]

Yewberry watched with sadness and acceptance in his eyes. He wasn't sure how to feel, but he knew others were going to react with sadness, or even anger. He had a feeling things were going to get tense, so he dipped his head to Honeytwist.

"I wish you well in whatever you choose to do next. Thank you for being our medicine cat, Honeytwist." He spoke, quiet, but still loud enough to be heard.
​

 

[SHREWTUFT]

when honeytwist announced her assignment to the clan, a clear ripple of shock had swept through the crowd which was soon to be followed by a sudden rise of voices who were in upset and in disbelief that she would even do such a thing. had starclan made the mistake of chosing the cinnamon tabby if she were just going to throw the positon away entirely?

shrewpaw, like a majority of her clanmates, had stood in bewilderment whilst honeytwist was quick to disappear into the tunnel after her short speech to retrieve whatever it was that belonged to her and move it out of the den with the help of dandelionpaw who silently followed after. something sharp like claws dug into her heart at the sight of her brother, there was already so much he was dealing with and now he had to fill in honeytwist's paws by being windclan's sole healer whilst he was still an apprentice? that wasn't fair!

honeyed eyes would sift through an array of emotions, it was upsetting they were losing someone so important but she was also angry that all this responsibility is going to be dumped onto her sibling!

[ penned by cobi ]​

​

 

[SOOTSTAR]

Blood boils.
On one paw the idea of Honeytwist no longer carrying power in her clan was a blessing, yet on the other paw? Why had StarClan bothered sending her in the first place? To bring them Dandelionpaw? For her to act as their medicine cat just until she had a young cat to replace her? Sootstar's fur bristles and her claws dig into the earth, she can't help but just glare. Watch the scene unfold for a few several moments.

Even the lanky she-cats own children seemed displeased with her.

Eventually Sootstar's paws take her to the entrance of the medicine cats den, staring into it has Honeytwist collects her items, Dandelionpaw helps her but she fails to detect much for emotion in his features. Perhaps he was displaesed too? She imagines he must be...

"Selfish. Dandelionpaw has only been training for a mere moon." The blue smoke hisses to the medicine cat, they had never gotten along, why would they now? In this moment? "I shouldn't be surprised... are you leaving?" She asks, unsure if the she-cat was just moving to the warriors den or moving out of WindClan in its entirety.

"You know what happens to traitors..." Sootstar warns with a bristle of her neck fur.​

---

Spoiler: TAGS ★ 10/19

( primary character / "speech" / ic opinions )​

╰ ★ ჻ 001 GENERAL INFORMATION ,
· SOOTSTAR, female — she / her
╰ ‣ 31 moons . pisces. ages on the first
╰ ‣ windclan leader . marsh-born . believes in starclan
╰ ‣ former soldier of the marsh group

╰ ★ ჻ 002 VISUALS & AESTHETICS ,
· DOMESTIC FELINE, smells like heather and wet dirt , status — 100%
╰ ‣ blue smoke . scarred chest, difficult to see through fur . green eyes

╰ ★ ჻ 003 MENTALITY & MANNERISMS ,
· ESTJ-A ❝ EXECTUTIVE ❞ , Slytherin, Lawful Evil
╰ ‣ Cunning, brash, fierce, confident, self-reliant, envious & selfish
╰ ‣ finds great difficulty in relating to others . can be cruel, usually shows mercy to those she can find sympathy with

╰ ★ ჻ 004 INTERACTIONS & RELATIONSHIPS ,
· SOOT CLAW x PEBBLE BREEZE, sister to Pebblenose
╰ ‣ heterosexual. romantically interested in Weaselclaw
╰ ‣ mother to owlpaw & shrikepaw
╰ ‣ average fighter . skilled hunter .
╰ ‣ will start fights . unlikely to flee .
╰ ‣ attack in underline . penned by user @ava.

 

[THYMEROOT]

Just as it does to the rest of WindClan, the announcement of Honeytwist's retirement comes as a surprise to Thymepaw as well.

Just as her children are upset and confused, Thymepaw feels the same. Less so over their mother's departure, but more so over his own brother's pending rise in rank.

If Thymepaw and Shrewpaw weren't ready to become warriors - if they were still too young - what made Dandelionpaw ready to become a full-time medicine cat? What made him ready to be on his own like that, aiding those harmed in the moorland's trying times?

He can't do all that alone, can he?

Thymepaw will help him, he decides quickly, because, that's what Thymepaw's best at - helping.

Whatever happens, Thymepaw will help Dandelionpaw. Collecting herbs, changing cobwebs... whatever medicine cats are supposed to do. Whatever his brother needs. Because his brother is too young for so much responsibility. His brother shouldn't have the burden of Honeytwist's departure weighing solely on his shoulders.

This shouldn't be allowed to happen. It wasn't fair.
​

 

[ｂｌａｃｋｐａｗ]

( ★ ) despite his lack of closeness between himself and either of the medicine cats, he couldn't help but listen in. it was an announcement to everybody, after all. his maw was ever so slightly agape. "surely there's no way dandelionpaw can do all of this alone! what are you doing?" he questioned silently, but he didn't dare let the words escape him. this was no place for his opinions. his ears flicked as more cats muttered around him, the ones that weren't angry were quiet. he licked his chest fur in an attempt to look busy as he eavesdropped on sootstar's conversation with the now former medicine cat. he wasn't surprised with how upset she was, this was her medicine cat, and she was leaving someone even younger than himself to take on the role of a full fledged medicine cat. his ears pricked at the leader's threat, did she mean it? would she just exile the other she-cat or was she angry enough to chase her off?​

( DO I SOUND LIKE A JOKE WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU )

 

[VULTUREMASK]

He had just returned back after helping to bury Rosepaw and now he felt numb, empty. There was no more tears left for him to shed over his friend sudden death. Only the emptiness was left along with this agonizing pain in his chest. For now he was far to emotionally exhausted to really feel anything when Honeytwist dropt the bomb on all of them. She was stepping down...thier first medicine cat starclan had 'blessed' them with was now leaving them, abandoning them without a full trained medicine cat to replace her, so close to leaf-bare. If he wasn't so torn inside he would have ended up laughting at them all for having been such fools to trust dead cats. Or maybe...this was starclans way of saying 'fuck you all', wouldn't that have been funny. Windclan that was suppose to be starclans favorite was taking thier blessing back to punish them...for what exactly?. Starclan had never made it clear to why they all had to split up into five clans to begin with. Leechpaw couldn't help but think all of them deserved this for even thinking Starclan cared about them....cared about him. They had have thier chance to make things right but they choose to ignore him, to enjoy watching him in pain and misery.

His gaze fell on Dandelionpaw and he would frown. Not him though. The rest did but Dandelionpaw had done nothing to deserve a such heavy responsibility dropt down on his shoulders like this. " Just let her go Sootstar." he mutterd suddenly, now gazing at her after hearing the leader say traitor. Maybe that was true but in his opinion Honeytwist had never been one of them to begin with. " Her heart was never with us to begin with." You know that from the start. Sootstar had only herself to blame for this, to bring a cat with kittypet blood to the moors. They should just let her go like she had wanted all along or...Sootstar could choose to kill her. In the end he really didn't care.

Fuck starclan for all he cared.



​