private I won't fall down, you need me ☠ Needledrift

[Bonechill.]

*+:｡.｡ Bonechill wouldn't say becoming a warrior was a massive accomplishment for himself. If it were just him receiving his name, he wouldn't feel much about it - perhaps a bit uncomfortable being referred to now by a new title, but he wouldn't be pressed about getting over it. No, the only reason the granite-faced feline found it in himself to smile as wide as he did was solely because of his family. Seeing Bloodwing and Shadwhisker become full adults made Bonechill's chest swell in a way he couldn't describe. It was the same when his little siblings earned their names and joined him in the apprentice's den. Pure, unabashed, love and joy. And although he was quite disheartened having to quickly lose his nest beside his baby siblings, there was a whole new joy to be found in who he now could share a space with...

After a long six moons, finally, he could be beside his mamma again.

Although, it wasn't the same.

Despite her thick coat, his mamma was all bones and withered light. The pale-coated tom would gaze at her from his nest tucked close beside her, the joy of reunion having long since faded as dusk faded into midnight and the stars bloomed their brightest behind the den's protective ceiling. It was a relief seeing Needledrift's chest rise and fall. A part of him trembled however, imagining that in his next blink...she wouldn't be. To think, deaths unrelated to your physical body could somehow sapp the strength of life from yours...spirits really must be connected.

Bonechill blinks. Perhaps it's the illusion from night's shadows, or his eyes have simply grown too used to staring at one minute detail of breathe for an hour too long...but...he can't see her stomach rise. It must just be her thick fur, but - but what it - what if she-

Scooting closer, Bonechill presses his ear against his mother's belly, heart hammering as he waits to feel the rise of breath. She's so much smaller than I remember he thinks with a stutter in his heart.

*+:｡.｡ Updated 10/4/24

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☠ Shadowclan — warrior
  ☠ DMAB— He/Him — Unsure
  ☠ 12 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☠ Son to Ferndance x Needledrift
  ☠ Littermates with Bloodwing, Shadewhisker, Splashdance
  ☠ Half-brother to Gigglepaw, Morelpaw, Branchpaw
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☠Physically hard | mentally hard
  ☠ Attack in bold #738171
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[Needledrift]

☾ Mint-green eyes flutter open woozily, that sleepy fog not quite dissipating in the immediate aftermath of the touch. Instinctively, the mother curled around the thing that poked at her belly, even if her milk had dried up a season ago and hopefully would not return for a very, very long time. She lets out a sleepy little sigh, her features crinkling when the little thing at her belly does not feel so little as wakefulness begins to embrace.

Gingerly does she lift her head, mint-green eyes catching a coincidental reflection of her own worried stare. Funny how her son, related not at all by blood, resembled her in those little ways, right now to the way his ears laid when he was upset.

"You're too old for that now," she reminded him gently, craning her neck to offer him a soft peck on the cheek. "What has you worried, dove?" ​

 

[Bonechill.]

*+:｡.｡ B-bump, the sound soothes him in a way nothing else could. Anxiety seeps free from him like dust brushed clean by a gentle breeze. Although guilt blossoms behind his eyes when he feels his mother stir, the young man only melts further when he feels her tail wrapped around him. Although he's long since outgrown her, the man can't help but still find he fits as comfortably in the crest of her belly now as he once did as a kitten. Curling his tail around hers, he cranes his neck to properly keep an eye on her face, heartbeat never quite enough - knowing she's living isn't enough. Seeing the crinkle in her eye, the soft upturn of her lip, that is almost enough.
Bonechill wishes he could fight against the ghosts plaguing his mother as easily as he would physical opponents. No amount of age-born strength can do that, though. A whimper escapes him, so unbearable is his helplessness that it breaks his habit of silence.

She reminds him of his age, but he pays little mind to it. He'll stop treating her like his mother the day he stops needing her. "I'm sorry I woke you" he rumbles, laying his chin on her shoulder. "How're you feeling?" Answering a question with a question feels rude, but being a man of few words and little interest in beating around the bush, he figures the dots are close enough for his mam to connect. You. I'm worried about you.

As much as he couldn't bear to hate Snowypaw for her choices, he would never understand them. To leave behind the woman who loved them with all her heart - to hurt her in doing so...Bonechill sighed, pushing his nose into his mother's soft coat. He thinks about losing her to the illness left behind by all her lost loved ones. About starting his own family, and not needing her as much. About Pikesplash and Snowypaw coming to Shadowclan and asking Needledrift to leave with them - and her doing so. And his heart squeezes. The idea of losing her in any way shape or form threatens to kill him.
"You can go back to sleep if you want, I won't disturb you" he's quiet, breath shuddering, "But..." he trails off, hesitant to ask something selfish of her after he'd already rudely pulled her away from a potentially healing slumber.

*+:｡.｡ Updated 10/4/24

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☠ Shadowclan — warrior
  ☠ DMAB— He/Him — Unsure
  ☠ 12 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☠ Son to Ferndance x Needledrift
  ☠ Littermates with Bloodwing, Shadewhisker, Splashdance
  ☠ Half-brother to Gigglepaw, Morelpaw, Branchpaw
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☠Physically hard | mentally hard
  ☠ Attack in bold #738171
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[Needledrift]

☾ "You can never disturb me," Needledrift purred, though the sound came out rusty .. dry from disuse. "I'm sore... laying in a nest all day is not nice on the spine." She sat up a little straighter, her tail curling out behind her in a full-body stretch. Her legs felt wooden, timber hanging onto deadened branches in late winter.

"Have you eaten today? You seem in a grumbly mood." Even "grumbly" herself, Needledrift found a way to make a check-up more one-sided towards the approacher. "We can't both be stuck in here... you're a good warrior and you belong at Mirestar's side. They'll need strong, loyal warriors for this leaf-bare." ​

 

[Bonechill.]

*+:｡.｡ A piece of him he didn't know needed reassuring smooths out instantly at her words. It emboldens him to ask his next question, but first, he focuses on what she has to say after. A low rumble escapes him before he can stop himself - her lamenting leaving him distressed. He has to fight the urge to nudge her up and pepper her with inquiries about her health. Needledrift isn't a foolish cat, she doesn't need her son badgering her with the same "that's not healthy" comments, even if he really, desperately hopes that if he reminds her she'll somehow miraculously be better. Taking a breath, he releases it after reminding himself that she has been getting better. More active, her color returning, if slowly. He scrambles away when she rises to her feet, pushing himself to his paws and watching her closely. Bonechill is almost sad to be parted from his mother, although he's glad she's stretching sore muscles.
Following her lead, he pushes each leg out to its full extent. A smile dances on his maw when he catches on to her turning the tables, but he bites nonetheless, "No. Care to share?" he meows, eyes aglow at the idea of spending even more time with his adoptive mother.

Her comments on loyalty to Mirestar don't earn her much of a reaction from her son. He, unfortunately, holds no space in his heart for the rest of his clan. If Needledrift was hungry, he'd be happy to hunt through the entire forest for her favorite meal, but otherwise, Mirestar and the rest could wait. Instead, he presses into Needledrift's side, wordlessly communicating that his true place is right here, next to her. Besides, she was plenty strong and loyal herself, so if she wasn't out doing patrols, then Mirestar would be fine sparing another set of paws.

"Can you tell me some stories?" he asks, dull green eyes soft and curious. There's not a lot about Needledrift that he knows - he's curious about so much. What her life was like before the clans, what her parents and siblings may have been like, how she met Ferndance and Chittertongue, if there were other names she'd wanted to give her two litters, what her favorite bird was, what she liked to do in the rain, if she ever wanted to be leader, medicine cat, or had been a mother always been her goal?

If so, he wanted to tell her she'd done a great job. That there was no other mom - aside from Ferndance, of course - that was more perfect than her. That she made his kit hood a joyous time thanks to her kindness, patience, and gentle nature. That she taught him how to be brave, how to love, how to be kind...even if he wasn't always good at any of those sometimes.

He wanted her to know just how much he loved her.

But, he stilled his tongue.

There would be time for all of that later.

*+:｡.｡ Updated 10/4/24

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☠ Shadowclan — warrior
  ☠ DMAB— He/Him — Unsure
  ☠ 12 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☠ Son to Ferndance x Needledrift
  ☠ Littermates with Bloodwing, Shadewhisker, Splashdance
  ☠ Half-brother to Gigglepaw, Morelpaw, Branchpaw
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☠Physically hard | mentally hard
  ☠ Attack in bold #738171
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[Needledrift]

☾ "Of course." She waited for her son to settle himself into the position of a listener, eyes bright and ears perked, before she began.

"How about..." her tongue laced against her lips, wetting them to save herself a breath to think; of all her adventures and time in ShadowClan, what could be interesting to a young warrior on the precipice of his own potential journey? how about the story of how I got this... and the creation of the clans." She ran a paw over her misaligned jaw, the beginning of it all perched at the tip of her tongue... she began slowly:

"When I was kit, my best friends in the world were Chittertongue... and Chilledstar. You see, we grew up together - all of our mothers were nursing us a rabbits-length away from the other and we... we just clicked. I loved them deeply, so so deeply. It's why your sisters are named for them... it's why I miss them, everyday." a breath, a shaky puff of air escaped her, "But Chittertongue's mother, she was our leader and her name was Briar. She was so wise, so noble - I think you would have liked her. She was the leader I followed into battle against the pine colony... or, well, we would call them SkyClan now... but then they were a bit more cruel. They could be vicious, truly. When I ran into the fray, there were already cats fighting left and right. I lost my brother so quickly... there was this huge cat that came out of nowhere, and they battered me into the base of Fourtrees.

I caught my face right off the roots and the pain - you could not even imagine. I saw stars! ... truly."

reverence touched her tone then; reverence and awe in the hint of the memory she could provide her son, "That night, dazed and bloodied, I saw StarClan and they were beautiful. If I could only let you see through my own eyes for a moment, my darling, you would know what holding a star in your paws would feel like.

My," again she let out a little breath and with it, the smallest of sobs, so quick one could be forgiven for missing it, "My father.. and brother. I had known before seeing them that they... well, because I saw my brother standing over me at the roots and he - I -" Words flickered away from her as another sob erupted from her in hiccuping staccato... and then an inhale to ground herself.

"StarClan spoke to us all and that very first Gathering... we were able to choose our clans. We had the choice to be the founders of brand new frontiers... I chose to stay with Briarstar, and I have never regretted that decision. But I had friends who went elsewhere... you know the RiverClan deputy? Hazecloud? Well, she was a very good friend of mine when we were little... now look at the woman she has become... I admire her deeply for it."

A smile graced her face, and a warmth spread over her: sunshine bleaching a covert forest pool, peaceful but radiant in its secrecy. "Now you," she purred, as if everything she had just said had just been a quiet pleasantry in waiting for Bonechill's news, "Tell me about your day. I want to hear everything. Has Ashenfall said what he wants to name the kits? Has Mirepurr come out? Have any cute cats caught your eye?"

She tipped her head to the side, a bit tickled at herself for remembering to ask every aging mother's favorite question: are you seeing someone? Tell me about it, that's too cute! She wasn't that old, was she? ​