camp I'M ONLY HAPPY [nursery] WHEN IT RAINS

To share the cramped nursery within even foxlengths of her brother is nauseating. To see Dimmingsun's shadowed silhouette outside the den's opening makes her ill. Some well-intentioned warrior had brought her a rabbit; she'd taken a nibble from its haunch and shoved it away. Her kits never stop squirming, never stop mewling, and she begins to feel desolate in a way she never has before. No cat will meet her eyes for more than a heartbeat; no cat has come to inquire after her children, to sniff them, to revel in their growth, their health, to hear their carefully-chosen names.

Loneliness begins to gnaw at her early in her imprisonment — in her motherhood. Bluefrost neglects to groom the snarls from her fur, kicks away barebones offerings, and stares almost bleakly at the children suckling from her body. Each of them hungers for her presence, her warmth, her milk, but every wriggle against her saps what little fire burns in her belly.

She takes to singling them out, to staring at them, to sizing them up, much as her mother must have done before pushing her five needy kits onto her wetnurse. Comfreykit, Rimekit, and Foalkit are just a fraction more developed than Sootkit and Asterkit, but otherwise, they are mirrors of one another; the blood that runs between them, both similar and different, is not yet apparent.

Bluefrost lowers her nose to each kitten's head, forcing herself to share proximity. I love you, she practices saying in her head. I did this for you. I lost everything for you. Your father may die so that you may live, thrive. She tries to muster some maternal warmth, but she fails. They are needy, and she has never been needed in such a visceral way. Would my Mother have pushed us aside in disgust? Did she feed her young with pride?

Why don't I feel that? What is wrong with me?

She passes her nose over each kitten until she comes to Asterkit. One back leg protrudes, and... Am I hallucinating? She blinks, and even as her vision sidles into focus, she doubts what she sees. Her daughter — her trueborn daughter — lacks a paw. There's only a nub where one should be, where her littermates have four.

Bluefrost stares for what seems like eons. Finally, she raises her voice, hoarse: "I need Cottonsprig. Please. Something is... something is wrong with one of the kits." Doubt swims through her tired green eyes. Would Dimmingsun ignore her? Would Sootspot, would any cat passing by?

  • ooc: takes place in the nursery :] anyone in the nursery or passing by could interact! tagging @dimmingsun for guard duty and the following worms: @sootkit. @Asterkit @Comfreykit @FOALKIT @rimekit AND FOR PROSPERITY @cottonsprig
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  • Bluekit . Bluepaw . Bluefrost, she/her w/ feminine terms.
    — “speech”, thoughts, attack
    — 18 moons old, ages realistically on the 14th.
    — mentored by Sootstar ; mentoring Brackenpaw ; previously mentored n/a.
    — windclan queen. sootstar x weaselclaw, gen 2.
    — penned by Marquette.

    lh blue smoke she-cat with white and emerald eyes. aloof, dignified, poised, haughty, composed, distant.


 
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All he seems to do is knead. Day in, day out, ever since the small expatriate had been re-situated back into the warm crevasse that was the larger being's stomach. Milk was given in largesse, ever-flowing and repleting, and Comfreykit had no knowledge that the she-cat he was feeding off of was in turn discomfited by his actions. He was so innocent in his unknowing, not aware that his genesis would be frowned upon should it ever be brought to light - unknowing that he was frowned upon already, a hindrance to the Clan, even with his true parentage hidden.

Comfreykit had not proved to be particularly querulous in nature when compared to his more vocal siblings, a fairly susurrous little creature who only emitted tiny mewls and chirps when he was particularly yoked this way or that by the larger being readjusting herself. Rumbles flood the xenial nursery floor, the only sense he can make use of in his tenebrous state, and Comfreykit lets out a small, "Mmmp!" in protest. He hadn't the acumen to realize that those rumbles were words being spoken.

 

She does not know how to do anything but exist. To feed when her belly yawns with hunger. To snuggle closer to Bluefrost’s body when a chill seeps into her newborn skin. To cry out when she feels uncomfortable.

Rimekit does not know her newness to the world weighs heavier than a millstone around more than one neck.

The newborn mewls quieter now, not as loudly as when she first lay upon the sandy camp floor while Windclanners looked upon her family with dismay or confusion. There is no need to be loud when she has finally been given continuous warmth and sustenance.

When her head is brushed by the nose of a mother trying to hold herself together, Rimekit wobbily lifts it and snuffles in return. “Meee,” she chirrups, ‘I feel you. I love you,’ she conveys in her limited capacity. Just as soon as the touch is present, it is gone again. Shifted to another one of the wriggling bodies the large pale kitten is nestled among. Observations to be made, worries to be worried, guilt an unwelcome addition to Bluefrost’s already strained shoulders.

Rimekit simply returns to nursing, nudging Comfreykit a bit to gain better access, blissfully unaware.
[ penned by kerms ]
 
The importance of family had been held in the foreground of her mind since Bramblekit's awareness became strong enough to bear any concept for more than a moment. Her papa was the most important of her family; he cared for her, and she loved him, and he told her she would be a mighty defender, and she knew she would do just that. Heatherkit and Nightkit were her family too, and they played games with her, and sometimes they let her win but mostly she wanted them to, because she loved them. Her mama was... murky. Bramblekit might think more on it if she had the moons to her name to be wistful, but she was just a kit, and her mama was on a long visit to Starclan, and it was hard to imagine her when she was so absent.

Aunt Bluefrost and her kittens - the tabby's cousins - were family, too, but it put the child in two minds. She ought to love them - and she probably did! But papa's murmured guidance was always right, and which meant his allusions to something being wrong with Bluefrost and Thriftfeather were probably right, too. No, definitely right. Did that mean she shouldn't, or couldn't, love her aunt and cousins? Or was she meant to love them in spite of it? What would papa want her to do? She did not presume to know.

So when Bramblekit rested between adventures outside of her nest, she carried an ulterior motive to lounging in the nursery. She watched her extended family and did not intervene, so she could report what she saw to her papa and ask him about it. It made her paws all jittery and she had to bite her cheek to keep from speaking. It was almost a relief when Bluefrost voiced her request. Bramblekit's curiosity was larger than her conflicting thoughts. "Do you want me to go get her? Or Wolfsong, or Celadinepaw? What's wrong with the kitten?" She asked as she scrambled to her paws, already heading to the mouth of the nursery. Heatherkit was always fetching people these days, and Bramblekit could totally do it better. "I'm really fast."
 
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯ ️️️ ️️╱ ️️️ ️️ ️️️ She has spent this small piece of her life in protest. Since the addition of three new bodies fighting for a place at her mother's belly, Sootkit has squirmed and squeaked. Rimekit had been gentle upon the camp's sandy ground — Sootkit had not. Jostling limbs were the greatest crime she had yet to experience. (In the tucked-away safety of innocence and youth, she does not know about Thriftfeather, or Cottonsprig. Not even the belly she wants desperately for herself has a name. Just home.) Nothing could ever hurt as much as the first prick of pain or discomfort. Nothing could worry her as much as an empty belly.

The brush of her mother's nose is also the purest comfort she could imagine. The tickling muzzle, as large as her head, casts a shadow over unopened eyes. The kitten shuffles closer. Whatever trouble Asterkit is in, she will have no part in it just yet.
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  • ✧₊⁺ ️️️ ️️ ️️️ OOC.
    EpC61GT.png
  • 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘬𝘪𝘵 ️️️ —————— ️️️ newborn kitten of bluefrost and thriftfeather. ️️️ littermate to asterkit. ️️️ " littermate " to comfreykit, foalkit, and rimekit. ️️️ struggling to adjust to her newfound family.
  • "speech"
 
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The time that Pinkshine's spent away — its an accident, really... She doesn't hate her. Can't hate her. She trusts her... Kind of, mostly — but she wants to either way. The want is enough not to keep her from her completely, but what if she wanted her space? What if her other Clanmates looked at her funny for it? Pinkshine has been nosy, but not too much so. She's lingered by the nursery, but hasn't quite stuck her head in... It's not until she passes by and hears Bluefrost's panicked mewl that she pushes those concerns away. she pauses beside Dimmingsun, the fur of her tail fluffed. With wide eyes, she'd exchange a look. " You— " she stumbles. " I'll get her, " she breathes. Then to Bluefrost, she repeats louder, " I'll get her, Bluefrost! "

Bramblekit is stumbing toward her and Dimmingsun both, and Pinkshine would briefly put a paw between her and the nursery's entrance. " Stay here, okay? Your job... It's to comfort Bluefrost, okay? " And she sneaks a look at her kits she can. It's just a glimpse... of blue and cream and smoke fur... She hopes she can get a better look soon, when their Clanmates weren't shouting in her ears, when Bluefrost could breathe easy... Without another word, she stumbles toward the Medicine Cat's den.

Just how wrong was that "something wrong"? Her mew carries urgency. Her eyes are round. She tries to avoid being garrulous with what she tells her..." Blue — Bluefrost... She says something's wrong. " If Celandinepaw is present, her gaze would flicker toward her too... but so new on her path, would she have the acumen for whatever it was Bluefrost needed? She wasn't so sure...

OOC: went to fetch @/cottonsprig !
 
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Residing in the warmth of the nursery, tucked at her mother's belly, Asterkit exists in a peaceful bubble. She, like her siblings, has little idea of the troubles their existence spells, or that their mother struggles. Asterkit has very little idea of how to do anything but be, well, a kit. She sleeps, she kneads, she feeds, she mewls, and the cycle repeats.

Compared to her loud mewling and wriggling shortly after her birth, Asterkit seems much more settled now. Though, of course, when the hunger pangs become too great, she mews demandingly for sustenance. "Now! Now! Now!" It must surely sound like to Bluefrost, over and over again, echoed by four other voices. Having already had her fill for now, Asterkit was squirming by her mother's side when she felt Bluefrost's nose brush against her briefly. "Mrrrrrrppp!" Is Asterkit's chirruping response. When Bluefrost seems to linger over her form for longer, she lets out a, sudden, quieter sound. "Mi?"

Asterkit is not aware of what she lacks - three fully formed paws where there should be four. Another thing to mark her out amongst her clanmates other than the scandalous nature of her existence...
 
Cottonsprig holds a wide berth around the nursery. It isn't odd, she doesn't think - she handles too many sick souls to be around newly made ones. If asked she smiles partially, says something like, "I'll see them when they can see me," and tries to move on. But the truth is held between clicking teeth, threatening to bleed at any moment. She cannot see her own children, for with all intents and purposes, they are not hers any longer. And the pain of recognizing that is unbearable.

"And so..." she tries to be quick with whatever lesson she's hosting for Celandinepaw, lips pressed together with a sense of uncertainty. Pinkshine interrupts them, her normally fulgent grin dimmed by circumstance. The complaisant medicine cat swallows thickly as the warrior spurs her sister's name, and then "something wrong" shortly thereafter. Cottonsprig cannot help her frown as she pushes herself to her tired legs, dipping her head towards the mottled she-cat in a brief offer of gratitude.

With or without the apprentice by her side, the blue smoke dips out of their hollow and crossways through camp, quickly immersing herself into the spritely nursery. Blue eyes float about to find that of dull greens, and though she pities her sister for the way she's stretched herself thin, she envies her almost as much - and then revels in her own sordid, self-deprecating thoughts.

"I'm here," she says, rounding her sister and looking over the other's large litter. She sees nothing of note and smells even less (has the nursery's scent always been so suffocating?) "What happened? Pinkshine came for me," Cottonsprig tilts her head, ears folding back.

  • ooc // @CELANDINEPAW mention :3
  • MEDICINAL KNOWLEDGE
    ♥♥♡ WOUNDS ; can confidently stop bleeding and mend lacerations. will often request that you keep your injury clean and wait it out first.
    ♥♥♡ INFECTION ; as a side effect of likely her own doing, very dutiful with technique and treatment shortly thereafter.
    ♥♡♡ ACHES & PAINS ; will defer to a dark tunnel and rest. if pain persists, maybe she will offer something.
    ♥♡♡ BROKEN BONES ; has never dealt with a broken bone. likely will ask that you never move. ever again.
    ♥♥♥ TRAVELING HERBS ; learned well from her previous mentor. will pile even too many remedies to tough the wilderness with.
    ♥♥♥ KITTING ; having kittens of her own and helped several others with their litters, she is very well versed with calming techniques and quelling pain.
    ♥♡♡ POISONS ; she knows what they are... but that isn't enough, isn't it?
    ♥♥♡ ILLNESS ; having worked through two yellowcough bouts, she is confident in her remedies. much else... she's operating on trial and error.
    ⸻ cottonsprig is a dutiful and excitable medicine cat. she enjoys company and loves conversation. she'd rather not have too many curious noses snooping around her den... but who is she to quell curiosity?
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    ⸻❥ cottonsprig is the primary medicine cat of windclan. a former princess to the moors, she harbors many guilts for her actions throughout her short life. she has no consistent partner, unwilling to commit and settle, and she is training celandinepaw in medicine.
 
It's her brother's tabby-fluff daughter who offers to fetch Cottonsprig, but Bluefrost only regards her adoptive kin wearily. Bramblekit seems earnest enough, but she can't help but wish to keep her own children far from Sootspot's influence — even by proximity, who knows the damage her brother could cause? Her mouth parts, though she does not know what she will say to the little kit, when Pinkshine's mottled pelt catches her eye.

Thank the stars. She nods to the young warrior and watches her flee in the direction of Cottonsprig's den. After what seems like seasons, snow-pale paws brings her sister and the pallid shadow of Wolfsong's newest protege. Bluefrost stares first at Cottonsprig, then at Celandinepaw. Must she be here too — the cat who would have been your replacement? But she does not verbalize these misgivings; she only lifts her tail so that the medicine cat and the apprentice can peer closer at the tiny kits.

"It is Asterkit." Her nose lowers to the yellow-dusted blue she-kit. "She is... missing a paw." Bluefrost frowns. How could I not have noticed? You must have been born this way — right? Or did the journey home do this to you?

No. Thriftfeather had carried his daughter, and she'd been held tenderly between his teeth.

"I did not notice until now," she murmurs quietly. "Please check her. Make sure she is okay."

  • ooc:
  • 69334192_7vVwuq2U19bWMTh.png
  • Bluekit . Bluepaw . Bluefrost, she/her w/ feminine terms.
    — “speech”, thoughts, attack
    — 18 moons old, ages realistically on the 14th.
    — mentored by Sootstar ; mentoring Brackenpaw ; previously mentored n/a.
    — windclan queen. sootstar x weaselclaw, gen 2.
    — penned by Marquette.

    lh blue smoke she-cat with white and emerald eyes. aloof, dignified, poised, haughty, composed, distant.


 
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