private insolent behavior // lichenstar

[splashdance]

It's in desperate contemplation that she approaches Lichenstar. Although this has become commonplace - her constant and casual conversation with her leader - this time feels... different. Somehow discussing her life before RiverClan and her troubled emotions with Iciclefang is so far less irksome than her intentions today. Perhaps it had been so easy before because she hardly asked anything of the blue point. As soon as the scarred leader allowed her into RiverClan ranks, the requests stopped; she took everything in stride and kept their conversations (sparse or plentiful they may be on any given moon) as casual as they could be. It was out of necessity, she thinks; she could not ask Lichenstar to speak with her council nor Clan to treat her properly. She had to endure and stand tall despite it. She had to do that hard work herself.

Today, however, Splashdance finds the other on a hunt after purposefully seeking them out. Her occasional chatter with her younger brother has set alight a new flame in her chest. Alongside the intense need to be useful, she wades through the sludge and muck of the abandonment she's inflicted on her ShadowClan siblings. Somehow, she's reasoned that if she can help him in his training and grief... then she's absolved of the trouble she's caused elsewhere. Somehow... this makes sense.

"Lichenstar...?" she knows, however, that it will not be easy. She's young. Newtpaw is her first apprentice and frankly her priority. But asking is half of the battle, and having the courage to do as much should show to her leader that she's... somewhat capable, right? "I'd like to ask something of you."

@lichenstar​

 

[lichenstar]

✦˚.✧˚✧˚✦˚ ✧ ˚✧˚✦˚✦.˚✧

CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY ✧

• The hunting is meager... it keeps them humble. Even birds are scarce, having decided to search for warmer skies to fly in. It stings, to not have the comfort of even her favorite prey but it is not so painful as knowing her clan goes hungry. Favorites mean nothing when they cannot even secure the minimums. It can be called good luck that today a water vole has found its way into her jaws, a morsel but still enough to hold off starvation.
  
  With any luck, Claythorn's litter will be free of the nursery soon and take up their own opportunities to feed themselves. Less useless mouths... and their mother returned to duty as well.
  
  The sparrow song call of her name- icy stare flicks towards the speckled molly with a small hum of acknowledgement. She cannot help but remember the shivering, eager-eyed girl that had first found her at the Gathering, bold and excited. Did Splashdance still feel as vindicated and proud as she had then? Was all of this dancing worth it?
  
  She asks, again.
  
  "Very well.... then ask it..."
• about
  
  speech hex code ✧ #6368A5
  
  ooc notes ✦
  tagging ✶
  penned by tieirlys
• ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚ .
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ . . ˚ ੈ✧˳·˖✶ ✦ ˚ ✦ . . ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ ​

 

[splashdance]

Simple, quick; Lichenstar has never been much of a talker during Splashdance's time here. Admittedly she wonders if the blue-faced molly ever was. With Hazecloud's stint as deputy, it seemed that the former queen handled much of the social requirement that came with their ranks, whilst her mate remained oftentimes stonefaced and observant. Now that that's changed... Splashdance doesn't fester on the curiosity, much more intent elsewhere, but she wonders if Snakeblink would now take up the mantle, or if their highest council will both be quiet in their observations. She isn't sure what's more frightening; the notion of being told directly how much of a failure she is, or it being whispered behind reeds and willow branches.

"Graypaw," she states her psuedo brother's name with a gentleness, but holds firm; the worst she can be told is no. "He will be graduating soon, stars bless his efforts - but I would like to see him to the finish line. We shared a mentor and... Lakemoon... meant a lot to me," her mind rumbles. Would Lichenstar understand, having Shellpaw under her tutelage - or distantly, with Eveningpaw beneath Hazecloud? "It's a big ask, I know - but I won't slack with Newtpaw, either. I -" a pause and a break, and her tail curls to her paws. "Please, Lichenstar. I'd like it to be my final thank you to Lakemoon. I want to help her son achieve his goals."
​

 

[lichenstar]

✦˚.✧˚✧˚✦˚ ✧ ˚✧˚✦˚✦.˚✧

CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY ✧

• Her whiskers twitch with a sort of empathetic misery at the mention of the dilute-furred apprentice. He has lost plenty... over and over, at every turn. It seems to show no sign of stopping. His mother in his birth, a kit-hood friend to his own stunning force, and another mother in a battle meant to brighten his future. Would it be reasonable to hope he may recover from such hardship? So young.. not even a warrior yet and already orphaned. There are few she can name of equal suffering.
  
  Splashdance's appeal tugs at her, a tie made of shared connection and struggle. She can relate to the burden that comes from balancing two apprentices at once... Brookstorm and Dipperfrost both had been placed upon her in rapid succession and though they'd both graduated without much issue... still.... her paws hum with nervousness. She'd only just decided Splashdance might be fit to train one...
  
  But... Graypaw is nearly grown and in desparate need of something familiar. Something safe. Maybe that might be the last structure she can really offer him before all he has left to rely on is himself. A small, tired sigh parts her. "I have... advice... for how to... manage two of them." Her chin lifts, an encouragement and approval hidden in the words. "Graypaw is... mostly trained. He should... be able to teach... just as well as you can." The only thing he lacks is the life experience of being a warrior in title. In leading his first patrol... Experiencing what it means to no longer be a shadow.
  
  "Let him prove... he knows... what he's doing... Let him help you... with Newtpaw..."
  
  If allowed, she presses forward to rest her nose at the young warrior's ear before brushing past her, "You can.... finish Graypaw's training. Make Lakemoon... proud."
• about
  
  speech hex code ✧ #6368A5
  
  ooc notes ✦
  tagging ✶
  penned by tieirlys
• ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚ .
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ . . ˚ ੈ✧˳·˖✶ ✦ ˚ ✦ . . ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ ​

 

[splashdance]

Splashdance maintains her nervous jitters as her leader mulls over the idea, no doubt struggling with the concept of allowing one of their newest leads a second apprentice. She can absolutely see why; her pawpads are still soft with the newness of warriorhood, the kitten fur of adolescence still puffing out her cheeks and frame. Lichenstar trusts her, but how far can that trust be stretched? For a moment, she wonders if the blue point shares a sentiment with other members of the Clan. If her loyalty is constantly in question, and the mere idea of giving her someone with ruined blood as well may tip the scales in an unfavorable way.

Eventually - Lichenstar speaks. Their tone is airy, as per usual, but sparks with hope. Advice, they say, and Splashdance feels their own chest lighten. She feels her head bob up and down in agreement, understanding, as the other bestows upon her new trails of knowledge to help them each succeed. Graypaw was well trained by their shared mentor, and with her, he should thrive. He will thrive, even if Splashdance must hoist him atop her shoulders in floodwaters to ensure it.

Lichenstar embraces her and she lets out a quiet purr, one that remains even as the other wanders away. "Thank you, Lichenstar," she says, and then louder once more, "Thank you!" For she will never have enough gratitude to repay her starborn leader.
​