private insolent behavior // lichenstar

[splashdance]

It's in desperate contemplation that she approaches Lichenstar. Although this has become commonplace - her constant and casual conversation with her leader - this time feels... different. Somehow discussing her life before RiverClan and her troubled emotions with Iciclefang is so far less irksome than her intentions today. Perhaps it had been so easy before because she hardly asked anything of the blue point. As soon as the scarred leader allowed her into RiverClan ranks, the requests stopped; she took everything in stride and kept their conversations (sparse or plentiful they may be on any given moon) as casual as they could be. It was out of necessity, she thinks; she could not ask Lichenstar to speak with her council nor Clan to treat her properly. She had to endure and stand tall despite it. She had to do that hard work herself.

Today, however, Splashdance finds the other on a hunt after purposefully seeking them out. Her occasional chatter with her younger brother has set alight a new flame in her chest. Alongside the intense need to be useful, she wades through the sludge and muck of the abandonment she's inflicted on her ShadowClan siblings. Somehow, she's reasoned that if she can help him in his training and grief... then she's absolved of the trouble she's caused elsewhere. Somehow... this makes sense.

"Lichenstar...?" she knows, however, that it will not be easy. She's young. Newtpaw is her first apprentice and frankly her priority. But asking is half of the battle, and having the courage to do as much should show to her leader that she's... somewhat capable, right? "I'd like to ask something of you."

@lichenstar​

 

[lichenstar]

✦˚.✧˚✧˚✦˚ ✧ ˚✧˚✦˚✦.˚✧

CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY ✧

• The hunting is meager... it keeps them humble. Even birds are scarce, having decided to search for warmer skies to fly in. It stings, to not have the comfort of even her favorite prey but it is not so painful as knowing her clan goes hungry. Favorites mean nothing when they cannot even secure the minimums. It can be called good luck that today a water vole has found its way into her jaws, a morsel but still enough to hold off starvation.
  
  With any luck, Claythorn's litter will be free of the nursery soon and take up their own opportunities to feed themselves. Less useless mouths... and their mother returned to duty as well.
  
  The sparrow song call of her name- icy stare flicks towards the speckled molly with a small hum of acknowledgement. She cannot help but remember the shivering, eager-eyed girl that had first found her at the Gathering, bold and excited. Did Splashdance still feel as vindicated and proud as she had then? Was all of this dancing worth it?
  
  She asks, again.
  
  "Very well.... then ask it..."
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[splashdance]

Simple, quick; Lichenstar has never been much of a talker during Splashdance's time here. Admittedly she wonders if the blue-faced molly ever was. With Hazecloud's stint as deputy, it seemed that the former queen handled much of the social requirement that came with their ranks, whilst her mate remained oftentimes stonefaced and observant. Now that that's changed... Splashdance doesn't fester on the curiosity, much more intent elsewhere, but she wonders if Snakeblink would now take up the mantle, or if their highest council will both be quiet in their observations. She isn't sure what's more frightening; the notion of being told directly how much of a failure she is, or it being whispered behind reeds and willow branches.

"Graypaw," she states her psuedo brother's name with a gentleness, but holds firm; the worst she can be told is no. "He will be graduating soon, stars bless his efforts - but I would like to see him to the finish line. We shared a mentor and... Lakemoon... meant a lot to me," her mind rumbles. Would Lichenstar understand, having Shellpaw under her tutelage - or distantly, with Eveningpaw beneath Hazecloud? "It's a big ask, I know - but I won't slack with Newtpaw, either. I -" a pause and a break, and her tail curls to her paws. "Please, Lichenstar. I'd like it to be my final thank you to Lakemoon. I want to help her son achieve his goals."
​