camp Is Fortnite overrated? | Discussion (Apprentices only)

[Firefang]

The raid despite how utmost important it was hadn't won them much more then an exiled medicine cat, a body to bury and two lousy herbs, if it wasn't for Skyclan's inability to fight fair then none of this would've happened... And distnatly in the back of her mind she wonders if Dandelionwish had truly tried his best to ask for those herbs himself if only he had pushed a little harder they wouldn't be in this mess and he wouldn't need to brave the loner lands after Vulturemask was all trained off and he was nothing more then another maw to feed. Maybe he had what was coming to him, he just wasn't fit for Windclan just a mouseheart among them who didn't fight for his clan and showed his belly when the going got tough with the other medicine cat's. If she were him she would've beat the snot out of the Skyclan fleabag for daring to refuse her, he was just a mouseheart who dug his own grave. The logic still doesn't sit right with her no matter how hard she wills it to, she believes in Sootstar believes in starclan and wanted to say her clanmates who opposed her decision didn't know what they were talking about or were too out of whack with grief to comprehend what they were saying like Galestorm. Also surely Sootstar would never endanger them if she'd known Riverclan would come to the dung-eating clans aid she'd never had ordered Badgermoon to put together patrols - and well Sunsetbreeze that was no ones fault but the foxheart who felled him, Skyclan knew they'd lose horribly if they fought like true warriors. But what could they have expected from a clan that went against starclan's will and refused herbs in the first place, they brought them to their border and didn't even have enough pride as warriors to face them off fair and square. And Sootstar wasn't a mousebrain and she also had kits in her, she needed a strong clan for them she was just looking out for them and trying to get the herbs the sick needed. She didn't do anything wrong...

Her tail swishes behind her, a nervous energy coursing through her body, she wanted to talk about it instead of hiding like she knew some of her clanmates opt to do but she knows better then to step where she doesn't belong and try to breech the topic with the warriors and potentially face the wrath of Lynxtooth, Juniperfrost or worse Sootstar for bringing up drama when it was over and done with. But she can make the other apprentices talk with her and if they even think of tattling or running away into their burrows to hide away from reality a few firm warns of warning or a more lasting one with her claws would convince them otherwise. And well not like they could leave camp anyway with the snow and wind currently keeping them snowed in so what else did they all have to do but mope and lick their wounds? She'd already snapped word to a few of them already to meet her on the far right of camp and as she padded over she could see a couple of them had already come, good.

She walks with a odd gait not quite limping but obviously showing a great deal of discomfort, the relatively deep wound on her side throbbed against the coating of cobwebs that covered it. ❝Sootstar's not messin' around is she❞ it's a statement ❝Do you really think she's gonna exile Dandelionwish after he's done trainin' Vulturemask?❞ maybe she'd reconsider, even if Dandelionwish said some things he shouldn't have said she didn't really want to see him leave but she also doubts Sootstar would change her mind especially after seeing a vision from Starclan. She wonders if all visions were really that vague, or could just dreams be mistaken as them and vice versa. She hopes that dream she had the other night of being chased by a hare wasn't a vision - she didn't wanna look like Rainpaw was bad enough one cat had gotten bested by prey.​

( PLACE ME IN MY CASKET TONIGHT ; BECAUSE IM ALREADY DYING INSIDE )

 

[SNAILSTRIDE]

Snailpaw had not been chosen to go raiding, they had a mixed opinion of their own unreliable nature but in that moment, it had likely saved their life. Word of the post-raid's events had spread like wildfire amidst the camp, igniting tension and dissent in every corner of WindClan's territory. They'd avoided it all, finding comfort in watching the distant horses plod about the snow whilst chaos took over the camp. Now that the marbled tabby was back, however, they felt nauseous. Surrounded by viscera and death, they'd collapsed to their side a few times since the return and even as Firepaw ushered all the apprentices to the corner of the camp, Snailpaw only seemed to be paying half-attention as they worked to keep their dinner down and their eyes awake. A clanmate was dead, several were exiled, and his clanmates apparently hadn't known where SkyClan's medicine den was - a failure on all parts, and it seemed everyone had a different opinion on who was to blame. Snailpaw hadn't had the chance to interject with their own views. Their head throbbed as if someone was crushing it from both sides, and all they could think about was the blood... so much blood on everyone...

Firepaw spoke and it took them a second to register it. Tentatively, Snailpaw looked up, their tail curling protectively around themselves as she asked a very dangerous question. They didn't want to think about it, they wanted to get away for a while. WindClanners liked to bark about how free clan life was, but how free could one truly be if they were forced to die for a cause they didn't believe in? How were a kittypet's shackles any worse than the shackles one wore under a cruel leader? Their head rested on their paws, Snailpaw exhaled deeply before shifting their weight, struggling to get comfortable. Tired but pained, hungry, but too sick from fear to eat. Snailpaw knew there was no freedom in this. "She'll probably kill him," he spoke before he realised what he said, their own nonchalance causing their gaze to lower from Firepaw. "No point keeping someone alive if they don't have a use, right? Haha.... ha...." When someone constantly beat at someone's insecurity and ran someone down, it was easy to become a self-fulfilling prophecy and prove that creature right. Snailpaw had flown under the radar for months, only having their fellow apprentices and mentor run them down, but they had to wonder how long it would take before Sootstar's talons were on him instead.

It should have been a motivation for them to try harder but... they didn't want to. What was the point? So many cats had bled for their clan, and all they got was exile as a reward. "This sucks."






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[Firefang]

Firepaw could say with no uncertainty she was happy not many of the apprentices braved the battle, before they left she'd mock them with no care in the world to their feelings or the threat on the horizon. But after seeing Sunsetbreeze…. she's happy they don't have any smaller holes to dig alongside his. She can't imagine losing one of them, she'd only known Sunsetbreeze in passing a clanmate she sometimes joined hunts or patrols with she hadn't grown up besides him to see all his annoying Intricacies. Not like she saw from Snailpaw who's mouth was almost always firing off quick witted remarks and only went silent when he was troubled. Snailpaw who couldn't stand looking at even the smallest of their nicks when they were forced to train together, her annoying little peer who looked like they'd been kicked in the ribs. She wishes he'd lighten the mood, get her pissed off in someway so they could pretend everything was normal and okay.

Her ears flatten as they respond to her and she's at a loss. Would Sootstar kill Dandelionwish? Maybe if he truly posed a threat to their clan but she doesn't want to imagine that. Sootstar was good leader everything she did was for the good of Windclan… She knew sometimes blood had to be spilled knew if it was to protect their clan it was warranted, but Dandelionwish was apart of the clan.

Snailpaw continues to speak saying something that isn't hard for her to discern more meaning out of. She'd always called Snailpaw a useless mousebrain, he was in a lot of ways but that wasn't deserving of death. A somber look crosses her face and she'd reach out a paw to put on Snailpaw's shoulder. ❝Don't worry, if that was the case she would'a killed you a long time ago❞ she reassures and it's spoken as gently as she can muster, it's an attempt if nothing else to comfort the other Moorrunner.

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( PLACE ME IN MY CASKET TONIGHT ; BECAUSE IM ALREADY DYING INSIDE )

 

[ELKSKULL]

Blending in like a mound of snow the apprentice lays, half alert to the world around him. His mind has been thinking, trying to be sympathetic as Bunnywhisker said. Yet he finds just amusement in the situation. Everything that has been happening seems ridiculous and he can't seem to take it seriously. The pain, the anguish, the suffering. It makes a small smile appear on his face. Is he wrong though? Maybe, there is always a possibility and he sighs as he shifts his back legs against the barren ice. Words and whispers crawl to him and one eye opens up. That chilling blue focusing on the other apprentices as they discuss what had happened. For a moment he just closes his eye before he sighs and stretches his body out. Thick tail arches over his spine before he makes his way closer to Firepaw and Snailpaw. "Of course she is going to exile him. Just like the last one, the difference is Dandeliom didn't spill blood. He is being punished for less." For words. For opposing. It makes him wonder just how this clan is stable. But he merely keeps his small smile plastered to his muzzle.

Turning those crystalline eyes on Firepaw he stares for a moment before he tilts his head. "Did you find...Icepaw?" Hearing the commotion earlier the other seemed quite worried about the other. He sits then and lightly dusts off the snow that clings to his pelt before glancing back up with a oddly stoic expression on his muzzle. "Honestly, I wonder who will be exiled next. It's always looming."​

 

[SMOKESTEP]

TAGS — Smokepaw thinks himself a sympathetic cat, but sympathy is hard to scrounge what with the recent events. It's not that he's incapable, or that he doesn't want to feel bad for Dandelionwish and for the other cats that shared his thoughts- but he can't feel sympathy for them, lest he succumb to their ideology. And when that ideology is so firmly opposing Sootstar, the leader he's looked up to since kithood, the leader he's apprenticed under now- well, it is simply not possible. He's modeled his entire life around making his mother proud, and after all these moons he's determined that can only be earned through Sootstar's vicarious approval. He'll be damned if he lets these traitors of WindClan glean even an ounce of guilt from him. Smokepaw is better than them. All of WindClan is.

Firepaw had been running her mouth about an apprentice meeting, so naturally her littermate attends. He tries not to grimace at the way she half-limps; she'll be fine, she's better than dead anyway, which is more than Sunsetbreeze could say. His placid expression deepens into a small scowl at the thought- and deepens further when Firepaw speaks up. He doesn't respond immediately, but in his chest he feels a pang of indignation on his mentor's behalf. She's doing what's right, he thinks, because it has to be true, or else he's shaped himself into her spotlight for nothing. His fierce amber gaze stabs into Snailpaw when they speak; they're curled up into themselves as their namesake hides in its shell, fear rolling off of them in waves. The sharp kindling of spiteful pride ignites in Smokepaw's own stomach.

"You sound like him," the soot-hued tabby rumbles to his fellow apprentice, ears angled towards Snailpaw with no attempt made to abate his cruelty. He's sure that they'll know exactly which him he speaks of; Dandelionwish and his posse's soft hearts bled into their soft tongues too easily, and he'd hate to see Snailpaw succumb to the same fate that they had all met. He doesn't think they'd survive the loner lands on their own, really. A sharp, mildly-humored exhale escapes his nose at Firepaw's remark. Finally, he parts his jaws to speak again, determined to rebut the gloominess that the other two have let cloud the air. "Sootstar isn't foxhearted. She's keeping WindClan strong. I don't get why you guys don't see that," he concludes, tail flicking irritably.

When Elkpaw arrives with a grin, Smokepaw's scalpel gaze turns skeptical. But the words he speaks are ones Smokepaw agrees with, so he nods to show it. Dandelionwish would not have a home in WindClan anymore. Sootstar had already said as much- he's a weed to be pulled, only sticking around so Vulturemask had some idea of what he was doing, healing the cats that needed it and keeping more sick from perishing. His gaze flits back to Firepaw's cobwebbed side for only a brief moment before returning to Elkpaw. He figures he'll let Firepaw answer about Icepaw, but the other statement gives him pause; again he finds his lip quirking. "You've got nothing to worry about if you're a good, loyal WindClanner," he asserts, leaning forward imperceptibly; in his words lies a challenge. "I just don't think it's that hard." Unlike you all seem to.​

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[slatepaw]

---

slatepaw
7 moons - windclan apprentice - speech​

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ───────────────── ☾ ───────────────── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮



slatepaw wasn't one to attend 'apprentice meetings' as firepaw called it. but, he wanted to come to at least listen, to decipher who he could and couldn't trust in this clan. the apprentice was growing increasingly reclusive, more jumpy and skeptical of others as ever, especially since the impromptu exiled sootstar performed since the raid. he never really felt safe here, but he knew now that it could be life or death if he wasn't careful with who he spoke to.

as he usually did, slatepaw sat at the edge of the group, silently listening to the discussion around him. he didn't wish to put in his input - the fiery anger that sparked his venom-laced words earlier was long gone - and this was further solidified upon hearing what the other apprentices had to say. he thought the younger cats like him would be more prone to rebellion, but it seemed that just like most of the warriors, these guys were kissing sootstar's paws left and right anyway.

a slight scowl rested on slatepaw's face as he curled his tail around his paws, getting comfortable - preparing himself for the long, potentially heated 'meeting' that was about to unfold.




╰── ⋅ ⋅ ───────────────── ☾ ───────────────── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

༶•┈┈⛧┈★ just a castaway, an island lost at sea

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[SNAILSTRIDE]

They tensed as a paw touched their shoulder, before slowly easing into the comfort that Firepaw attempted to offer him. Snailpaw offered a smile at her words, a weak acknowledgment that they knew what she was trying to do. As if scared they'd get bopped if they craned their neck too high, the marbled tabby's head slowly raised. He didn't doubt that Sootstar had the ability to kill anyone that crossed her, if it wasn't her that did the deed, then it would be one of her staunch loyalists. Snailpaw searched Firepaw's gaze to try and assess what she was, loyalist or dissenter, and swallowed a lump in their throat when they realised that they couldn't tell. Elkpaw interjected with a point they hadn't considered before - running one's mouth was now grounds to lose everything they'd ever loved. His heart sank. They'd never overindulged others with stories of their opinions or personal life, but what if that was next? They turned away again, even as Smokepaw began to address them. 'You sound like him'. Smokepaw may have been referring to Dandelionwish, but all Snailpaw could think of was their mentor, letting them know that those without value were tossed aside as they were forced to run into their legs collapsed beneath them.

"We got two bits of catmint, several exiled cats, and multiple more dying in the dens. I.... I don't see the strength." His clan, his beautiful clan, was creating enemies left and right and losing the numbers to fight off those new threats. "I didn't think there was weakness in disagreement, it's good, isn't it? Cats are good, they look after you, they build you up and they stop you from going too far. They... they..." The marbled tabby cast a glance to Slatepaw, feeling their breath catch as they tried to get their words out. They didn't want to leave WindClan, they had family and friends and for the most part, they could bury their head in the sand whenever things got too much. But, Sootstar's actions had left an impact on everyone, from the oldest elder to the newest born kit, and there was no hiding from the consequences that losing clanmates had. "Sootstar went too far, and she needed them cats to tell her that but... she didn't see it like that." They'd used the brief seconds of silence to contemplate their words and their actions if that alone was enough to get him chased to the borders. They could make it to the Twolegplace easy enough, or maybe the cats in the Horseplace barn would take them in. They thought they had options, they just didn't want to use them whilst they could still live on the moors.





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[rainpaw.]

Rainpaw's approach to the gathering of apprentices was slow. Her ears were pricked, tuning in on the conversation, but there was no hustle in her step. Firepaw wanted to gather the apprentices to talk about what had happened- well, Rainpaw still wasn't sure what to make of it. Just the night before the exiling, she had looked to Sootstar as a strong leader, sending the patrols off to fight SkyClan because it was necessary. But that had been before Rainpaw knew she could look at it any other way, and before the patrol that more or lessed failed, and before Sootstar had exiled three cats in a matter of minutes. There was a storm full of confusion and anger swirling in her mind and simmering under her skin.

She hoped a discussion with the other apprentices could calm it- although, based on what she heard as she walked over, she doubted it. Talk of the exiles were picking up as she settled down next to Snailpaw, bumping her head against their shoulder in a silent greeting. Another time, she might have sat next to Smokepaw, but what he said set her fur on edge. The superior tone he took on wasn't unfamiliar coming from his mouth, but Rainpaw herself didn't understand how he thought it was all so easy.

She considered herself a good, loyal WindClanner. She trained in the tunnels until Curlewnose practically pushed her out of them, and then half the time, she would just head back in with another apprentice. She tried her hardest to be nice. She tried her hardest to follow orders (well, other than Curlewnose's "Take a break!") and to contribute to the clan. But she already felt like she was a mouse-length away from being exiled, and that was after one comment in protest of Lynxtooth being overeager to hurt his new ex-clanmates. As the memory flashed through her mind, Rainpaw wondered if he had just been waiting for the opportunity. Elkpaw was right: exile would always be looming, at least in Rainpaw's mind.

"I really don't think it's as simple as that, Smokepaw," She muttered, voice uncharacteristically quiet. Rainpaw was used to speaking up, loudly, but she was learning that there was a time and a place for that. No matter what way she looked at it, though, it wasn't just Sootstar being strong and everyone else messing up. Some of what Sootstar had done didn't seem outright wrong. If StarClan really had told her Dandelionwish was a plague upon the clan, then he needed to go... although Rainpaw couldn't stop thinking about the former medicine cat's outburst. The claims that he had made, suggesting no battle would have needed to happen if it weren't for Sootstar alienating the other clans. Then there was the matter of Galeforce and Yewberry being exiled, for speaking up against her- no vision needed. That was what really bothered Rainpaw.

She indicated her agreement with Snailpaw by inclining her head toward the marbled tabby. If Sootstar was really strong, she would have been able to graciously handle a few cats dragging her name through the mud, without immediately resorting to exile, right? "I just don't think it was right of her to exile Galeforce and Yewberry. Galeforce had just finished fighting for the clan, and had just lost Sunsetbreeze, who had died protecting him and... I guess who he loved. Of course he was going to lash out. It didn't mean he needed to be chased off the territory by- by-" A pack of brutes. The words died in her throat before she could get them out. If she had only been speaking with Snailpaw, or Icepaw, she would have let them slip freely from her tongue. But she suddenly realized, uncomfortably, that she didn't know whether she could trust Firepaw or Smokepaw... or Elkpaw or Slatepaw, but the latter two were just because she didn't know them well enough.

Frustration flashed up inside Rainpaw, targeted at herself for speaking up when she had been trying not to. She had to stick with it now- quieting down would be a sign of weakness, wouldn't it? Rainpaw raised her chin. "I know Galeforce chose to go, but it didn't feel like that. As for Dandelionwish... if StarClan says he should go, then I do hope Sootstar goes through with exiling him." She conveniently left out whether or not she thought StarClan really wanted him to go. She also conveniently left out that she didn't want to see WindClan's medical treatment be handled by a cat that would probably have only a handful of days to train.​

 

[Firefang]

It's not hard for her to accept that Yewberry and Galeforce were exiled, she'd gone after them after all. They knew what they were doing, hissed their traitorous rhetoric and dug their claws in when given a chance to get away with it by their clanmates and even Sootstar herself, they deserved it Sootstar's words were law. It did not matter if Galeforce was deeply entwined in his own grief, did not matter if the skittish Yewberry could never be a proper threat to Windclan, they betrayed their clan spat at the paws of the she-cat who was doing everything she could to keep them alive and strong. They deserved it, but she knows some of the apprentices disagree they have doubts like she does about Dandelionwish. She wonders if she will chase him as she chased the others, following in line with a war party against the tom who fixed her wounds and had known her; had known all of them since they were kits. It did not matter what she knew him for or saw with her own eyes... Sootstar had a vision, he like Galeforce was a danger to their security a weed that needed to be plucked. It was for the greater good. Just how much longer would he stay with them as a prisoner, it all depended on how long it took Vulturemask to learn and she hopes he's not slow to pick up on his training like her peers are. The sooner he was gone the better, she could stop thinking about him then, just move on like they would and partially already had for the two toms who'd been chased in the brunt of the storm.

Her ear swivels at Elkpaw's meow, if he hadn't she surely would've hardly noticed his presence. He wasn't much different then the odd real fucked up lookin Badgermoon resembling snow pile, the embodiment of the cold that surrounds them his snow white pelt blending in so easily not helped by just how silent the tom was at times. She always felt he was watching more then anything else, judging she wants to assume but there's no air of disgust on his still as marble face; save for the small smile that breaks the even line of his maw. ❝Yeah you're probably right, he's still bein' fed and stuff though so wouldn't call it punishment. I'm surprised he's not being treated more harshly❞ she shrugs, it's something that's likely contentious some would see being kept a prisoner in your own (former) home harsh enough ❝for a... soft-pawed traitor anyway❞ there isn't the usual fire in her words, even with them she doesn't dare let any of her doubts show more then what's on the surface. Her brothers voice joins in to defend his mentor and she doesn't expect anything less, he was their mothers little minion and surely he wanted to be Sootstar's too while Firepaw wanted to be her claws and fangs; a true warrior of windclan. However because it's him and his stupid little voice she still wants to roll her eyes despite sharing much of the "same" opinion. He's easy to tune out though as Elkpaw asks something that makes the skin beneath her fur burn, it'd be welcome in this cold if it wasn't about Icepaw. She doesn't really get why she reacts so differently to her why it's even easy for her to get distracted from reality just thinking about that mouse-brained tunneler. She frowns, paws shifting uncomfortably ❝Yeah she's fine. Actually got catmint crazy right? didn't think she could do anythin' that impressive❞ it's backhanded of course but a compliment none the less, far less harsh then some of the other things she's spat out about her.

Smokepaw was right about the worries of Elkpaw, it wasn't that hard to keep your mouth shut and head down at the very least, showing a smidge of loyalty was easy; it was just respect for the leader who kept them all alive.

Briefly she flashes a look towards Slatepaw, always so morose looking to her but she's glad he's here to listen if nothing else she wonders if his brother would come to. She wanted all of them here if she could manage that, at least so they were all on the same page and she could wrangle them into a sane state of mind even if they wanted to kick and scream and fight with her about it better they give her attitude then to snap at towards their older clanmates; Lynxtooth and Juniperfrost being the most dangerous of the lot to hear any sort of talk of 'rebellion' or worse Sootstar herself. She keeps an eye out behind and around them making sure no heavy paw steps come their way, they're just out of earshot the only cat they had to worry about here was her! Snailpaw speaks again and she's glad they hadn't been around to see the events of their return, she knew them well knew despite their well ineptitude at pulling their weight they talked plenty as if they did. They were always daring with their words and part of Firepaw would respect that if they weren't so often going against her, prodding at her if not outright teasing her! She huffs at them ❝I see it❞ she retorts ❝Some cats are good Snailpaw but there's other who just wanna kick ya when you're down like skyclan! there's more bad I think honestly in the hearts of cats.... Sootstar is good though, she's protecting Windclan, they threatened her she did what had to be done.❞ she wants to say more but before she can go on Rainpaw interjects to say more to back their views, she knew of them already. She'd been a mousebrain and couldn't bite her tongue and part of her wondered if she hadn't shut her up if she'd have continued on and said something she'd really regret. There's something she omits that makes her fur bristle.

❝Chased by a what?❞ she questions she's less "gentle" then she was with Snailpaw there isn't much goodwill in the way her teeth click shut. Her temper simmers before it can blaze and she shakes her head deeming it not worth it right now, she's sore and tired to do much more then growl Rainpaw's way. ❝It's Sootstar's decisions not any of ours if you dun' agree with it keep your mouth shut and act like it in front of the clan, unless you wanna end up like them❞ her tail flicks irritably she gestures with one paw outwards to get the point further across. ❝As much as I love the idea of beatin' you lot into a pulp i'd rather stick to battle practice then meet any of you in real combat❞ it's a warning she looks down at her paws the will to meet their gazes dissipating. ❝Just don't be bigger mousebrains then you already are and things'll be fine, it's not that hard❞

​

( PLACE ME IN MY CASKET TONIGHT ; BECAUSE IM ALREADY DYING INSIDE )

 

[strawmoon]

Is it fair to eavesdrop? Straw doesn't know exactly what counts as fair anymore so they guess this is the fairest they could get. Their eyes shift back and forth between the speakers, but they're on the edge of camp just watching- could this count as eavesdropping? Or is it watching? Or is it stalking? They blink, long and drawn out, slow, pushes themselves to their paws and slips over from where they had been previously observing.

"Hi, guys." their voice a whisper, rigid statue with eyes that stare unto Firepaw as she speaks. She... Has a point, after all. Straw hasn't collected their thoughts, not at all, with the echoes of their clanmates venom-filled hisses pinging against the corners of their skull. Awfully loud and hard to think with it, truly. But... Why? Why to all of it? The point of being here is to thrive so why do those get exiled for stating something different than the beliefs of the older warriors? Lips turn down, but not quite to a frown.

"Did I-" miss something? They don't bother to finish. "What did he do other than try to protect the sick? Do you guys think she misinterpreted it?" genuine curiosity, they hadn't uh... Hadn't exactly listened if he had gone on a rant, but they don't blame Dandelion. Anyone would snap and burn under that pressure... But not Strawpaw, they think. They'll just let this blow past like they usually do, not dwell on it, not stick inside their head.

Firepaw warns them, just don't be stupid, and they almost want to giggle. "Yea... Don't be mousebrains..." they echo and finally does their lips turn up to the smallest, faintest of smiles. Maybe they truly were overthinking, with the exile. It'd be easy to turn a blind eye and... They don't want to admit it but they'd hate to see any of the cats standing here now be exiled. They quite like their apprentice friends and it'd be hard to show them Wormclan if they were away. Snailpaw and Rainpaw are on the opposite standpoint from Firepaw and Smokepaw and they don't blame them at all... Maybe they would be too, if they had time to think. Oh well.​

"speech"​

 

[Coyotecrest]

I won't apologize for being who I am

It would be an understatement to say that he trusted no one left within the clan of his birth, not even his father despite how proud Juniperfrost seemed to be of him. He did his best to withstand Sootstar's training, complete his chores and keep his head low like Dandelion told him too. Hoping, wishing for the day of freedom the sepia tom promised him. But now the medic stood guarded by the ever looming presence of Tigerfrost and it seemed like that dream was now dashed to pieces. In all his simmering fury the boy still felt a deep sense of helplessness. Upon entering the makeshift den his minty orbs cast the group a glacial gaze before turning to find his nest. Gossip. He would not verbally be part of it, not after seeing how some of them actually stuck up for Sootstar and her harebrained decision to exile Dandelion and from what he'd heard, both Galefore and Yewberry. Four cats gone in one night. Sunsetbrezze dead, Dandelionwish's life set on a proverbial timer, along with Gale and Yew being chased out.

Draped in an ominous silence the boy steps into his nest wearing a grimace whilst facing the wall. He couldn't believe the lot of them failed to discern Dandelion as a good cat. Coyotepaw's claws slip from their sheathes, lightly pricking and digging at his nesting material as his hackles dare to rise. The urge to speak up for the condemned tom and shield his name from being sullied any further was overwhelming. Right when he feels his jaws part he hears southern accented vocals flit across his memory "Keep your mouth shut." It was a reminder that would serve to continuously keep him from trouble. His tail lashes to release a fraction of unspent anger as he turns about his nest, back facing the others. No matter how infuriating the topic, knowledge was still good and this conversation would cement which side they were on.​

Tryna throw shade on me say a lot 'bout you​

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[icebreath]

TAGS — Stars above, she's so tired and overwhelmed. Which isn't making it easy to collect her thoughts, but Icepaw's not sure if she'd be able to soundly make sense of everything even if she were well-rested and in a good headspace. As such, part of her is glad that Firepaw summoned all of the apprentices to reflect on the whole debacle; she's been anxiously wondering what everyone thinks, especially Rainpaw, and hearing their opinions might help to get her own in order. But she's nervous about the discussion all the same; what if they're all divided in their viewpoints? Icepaw hadn't even considered that as a possibility until her own sister talked back to Lynxtooth — witnessing that had filled her with such dread. Rainpaw's always been outspoken, but they'd thought she knew better than that! And how many other apprentices share her skepticism? Coyotepaw's dissent is an outlier in their mind; they don't know his story in full, but they do know he still seems to feel a fair amount of loyalty to SkyClan, so of course his loyalty has proven to be fragile at best. But still, she'd thought he was the only one...

She arrives a bit late to the little gathering, somewhat fresh out of the medicine den with cobwebs plastered to her chest — admittedly, she'd anxiously lingered there before heading over to the apprentices, wanting to put it off as long as she could manage before curiosity and nerves ultimately got the better of her. It's important to figure out where everyone stands. Plus, as much as she wishes she could just go to sleep and pretend none of this is happening, the prospect of not talking about it makes her feel like she might go crazy.

"You've got nothing to worry about if you're a good, loyal WindClanner," Smokepaw is saying as she approaches. He's right, of course; everyone who's been exiled was wildly out of line. Silently she takes a seat beside Rainpaw, letting their striped tail rest atop their sister's, though the silver tabby's muttered retort earns her a sidelong glance from a rather concerned-looking Icepaw. What issue could she possibly have with what he said? But she doesn't elaborate yet; Snailpaw's still speaking. His reminder that her patrol's mission was a bit of a bust stings — was her sacrifice all for nothing? Do a lot of cats think that? She'd felt so triumphant for having managed to steal at least something... how frustrating that two doses will hardly do anything for the sick! I should've grabbed more. But she'd been panicking, surrounded by SkyClanners within the walls of the medicine den. Their eyes drop to the ground, a frown creasing their features.

There's a lot she could say in response to Snailpaw, but it's hard to find the words — and the nerve to voice them. So instead she remains silent, merely nodding along as Firepaw replies, coming to Sootstar's defense. Rainpaw's next to speak, expressing a very different sentiment. Icepaw's heartbeat speeds up, concern lingering in her gaze. Where is this coming from? She can absolutely understand feeling sympathetic, especially toward Galeforce; he was put in a horrible position. But to outright disagree with the choice, as if the exiled cats weren't spewing blatant treachery? She can't wrap her head around it. She's grateful for Firepaw's retort, though; blasphemous as it feels to hear Rainpaw disagreeing with Sootstar, that doesn't mean Icepaw wants to see her in trouble. They know her intentions are pure, motivated by empathy; she's just misguided.

Her gaze drifts between Elkpaw and Slatepaw, and then Coyotepaw as he passes the group. She knows where the latter stands; he doesn't seem to care for hiding it, shockingly. But the former two, she has no clue. Icepaw has no relationship with them beyond co-existing in the apprentices' den — not even any kind of kinship from group training or patrolling, seeing as they're moor-runners. The ambiguity is stressful. No one seems wary of or mad at them, though, so if they must not have said anything bad before she'd arrived.

Suddenly Strawpaw's with them; their additional voice catches them a bit by surprise, having been too absorbed in the discussion to notice their approach. This question, she can confidently answer. "He told SkyClan about our weakness," she offers. It's an accusatory statement, but it comes out softly. "If we... if we hadn't raided them... SkyClan easily could've attacked us first for all we know. I mean— they probably would've. They obviously hate us enough to have denied the herbs in the first place, knowing we've been doing so badly." This is a bit of a flip for her, who'd tried to offer an alternative to combat when the clan was first brainstorming. Fighting had seemed counterproductive during such a trying time and the aftermath certainly proved that correct, but... she can't think of a better solution (waiting around and hoping for the best would only delay the inevitable), and to be fair things wouldn't have gone so terribly if RiverClan hadn't been called in. Plus, she can't take the thought of all this — the risk, the anxiety, the loss — having been for nothing.

As for the second question... Yewberry's alternate interpretation echoes in their mind; dandelion as a lovely flower, and soot as the remnants of a destructive fire. She tentatively shakes her head. "I think we should trust Sootstar. If StarClan disagreed with her, they would've made the vision about her... right? Or contacted Dandelionwish?" Then again, what does Icepaw know?

She wants to leave it at that; shut her mouth and stay quiet for the rest of the discussion. It'd certainly be the easiest route, the best way to not piss someone off. Tensions are high, after all. But she can so easily imagine Rainpaw disregarding Firepaw's heated warning given their tense relationship, and the thought of her sister getting into trouble is too stressful not to say anything more. "And trusting her means trusting her decision to exile Yewberry and Galeforce." She lapses into silence for a few moments, looking uncomfortable as she carefully chooses her words. "I mean, they both threatened her; it's not like she didn't have a reason... Grieving's no excuse for that, right?"
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[SMOKESTEP]

TAGS — Smokepaw acknowledges Slatepaw with a sharp glance when the apprentice joins them, eager to know what he might be thinking- but he doesn't speak, and before long Snailpaw is blubbering all over again. He angles his ears towards them, chin tilting up ever so slightly; he can't help the way he looks down the lightly-scarred bridge of his nose at them. He was raised to compare himself to his peers, and more than that, to make sure he was above them. Even though Snailpaw's argument begins to worm its way into his deeper conscience, Smokepaw is quick to shut it down: "They did more than just disagree with her," he ripostes, tail flicking behind him. "They threatened her. That's different." He tries not to think about how what they said has hints of truth; how they can't rely on some of their able-bodied warriors to aid the sick in hunting, how they'd only managed two sprigs of catmint for all of that bloodshed. His countenance steels. "The less traitors the better," he finishes, and though he believes it with full conviction, the fiery passion has come to a simple smolder.

When Rainpaw arrives, Smokepaw greets her with little more than a hard stare. Any other time, he would've been friendlier, but he's already on edge- and her dissent doesn't really prompt him to reconsider his stance. Maybe it should. She's his friend, after all, but his heart twists in his chest at it all. Sootstar can't be wrong about this all. She's just looking out for them; she's doing what's necessary to keep WindClan strong, isn't she? Mutinous warriors had no place in their ranks, and even if grief did push Galeforce to threaten her, it still didn't make a difference that what's done was done. Even if Galeforce had been a good, loyal Windclanner before, he's not anymore. And that's that. He's about to part his jaws to respond when Firepaw speaks up again, and Smokepaw acquiesces to the back of the conversation, still fixing Rainpaw with a scrutinizing stare for a few moments. He doesn't want to dislike her, or to believe that she would truly sympathize with those soft-hearted fools; really he wants her to understand his own view. If they weren't loyal to Sootstar, they'd be cast out of WindClan. He doesn't think that's a bad thing. He wouldn't want traitors in his ranks, either. So he wants Rainpaw to shut up and accept it, too; she says it isn't that simple, but he still can't see what's so difficult about it all. "I'm sorry that's how you see it," he meows deftly, lacking sympathy.

He's quiet as Firepaw speaks, simply nodding along with his littermate's words as they flew from her muzzle. He'd rather spar his fellow apprentices on a training ground than at the border. He doesn't want them exiled, truly- but if they were going to grow up to act like Yewberry or Galeforce or Dandelionwish, he... well, he isn't sure. He supposes all he can do for now is hope they won't turn into those mousehearted cats. He's silent as Strawpaw and Coyotepaw join them, simply passing his scalpel stare across them; he watches the latter's tail lash as he settles into his nest. Smokepaw's ears angle towards the apprentice. He'd been a SkyClanner once, hadn't he? He'd led the stealth patrol to the medicine den. Among the unrest, Smokepaw can't help but wonder what his thoughts are on all of it. "Got something to say, Coyotepaw?" he prods, but is quickly distracted by Icepaw's entrance.

He gives his friend a nod of greeting, tail curling around his scarred paws; when she speaks, he's pleased to find that their beliefs and feelings are shared. But why wouldn't they be? Icepaw is a level-headed cat and a good tunneler. If he's honest, he feels a pang of jealousy each time he thinks about her heroics at the raid, being one of the only cats capable of grabbing the catmint they so desperately needed. He wishes he could say as much. He really wishes that kittypet would've unsheathed its claws, to give him some sort of trophy. Even though the idea of battle had made him sick before, now that he's been through it, he resents the fact that his opponent hadn't fought dirty. There's no use in being fair when it came to life and death. But it's neither here nor there- Smokepaw simply nods as Icepaw finishes her thoughts. "Right," he murmurs, distracted. "It's not like disagreeing is gonna undo it anyway."​

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[LEMONTONGUE]

His days as an apprentice are coming to a close - limited and pending a shift to the warrior den, a shift to a new identity to cower for safety under.

Things seem to be the same as ever - another round of exiles, another blow to the life he'd once known. Dandelionwish, his mother's apprentice, a cat he'd once spent every day around in his kithood - in the time when his mother was still around, and Lemonpaw felt welcome within the medicine den - was one of them, left to a life of a prisoner in his final days while the next medicine cat could be taught. A race to get Vulturemask trained, before Dandelionwish's ultimate demise.

Lemonpaw wonders if the same would have happened to his mother, if Honeytwist hadn't stepped down first. If she would have been held as a prisoner, left under brutal guardianship as she trained Dandelionwish to his full potential.

What was the point anyway? What was the point of keeping Dandelionwish around to train Vulturemask, when it was inevitable that he too would be exiled, that another medicine cat would be renamed? That the medicine den would be washed of any semblance of Lemonpaw's mother, of happier times.

And the other apprentices, they talk. Senseless talk. A discussion on whether or not Dandelionwish should have been exiled.

Of course not, Lemonpaw thinks. A stupid dream wasn't worth exiling over in the wake of sickness and failed raids. None of this was worth anything.

But, it's as if they've never seen an exile before. And maybe so. Maybe so, maybe so, maybe so. They haven't had to watch their loved ones be exiled - their family, their family's family, or their friends. Not in the way that Lemonpaw has dealt with it.

One by one by one. Gone, gone, gone.

He could be next. Any moment, any wrong move, any semblance of his mother he carries. Sootstar could chase him off too.

Just as Dandelionwish, just as Honeytwist. Just as Galeforce, and Yewberry, and Emberfang, and --

"It's not the first time a medicine cat has been exiled. Not the first time anyone has been exiled," he mutters from his own corner of the apprentices' discussion, "Certainly won't be the last." He flicks his tail at the apprentices, golden gaze sweeping over them as a frown pulls further at his mouth.

"I'd watch what I'm saying, if I were you," he shoots at them. He's teasing, but Lemonpaw's words still hold a seriousness to them. A thinly-veiled warning. "You might be next, if you don't watch what you're saying."
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