sensitive topics little fish in the stars / death

[Flutterpaw ☆]

BIG TW: child death, death by illness, descriptions of sickness​

TL;DR: flutterpaw gets sick and doesn't tell anyone bc he doesn't want to be a bother, the symptoms rapidly escalate over a few days due to a weak immune system, and he dies reaching out for his brother

i couldn't quite get flutters characterization to stick and finding muse for him was really hard. so i'm killing off this baby to make way for a new riverclanner -

Illness had come swiftly and brutally for him. In actuality, the sickness known as yellowcough had appeared swiftly and brutally in its entirety, but it had hit Flutterpaw particularly hard in a matter of days. At first, he felt fine. At first, he woke up with just a little tickle in his throat that was easily fixed by a drink of water during his first outing of the day. It was fine and it was manageable. He avoided coughing around his family, just in case, but he still continued his duties beside his mentor with a smile.

His ears felt hot. His nose was a little dry. Nothing a quick dip in the dwindling river won't fix.

He feels tired.

He is allowed to take the rest of the afternoon off. Silverpaw greets him by the apprentice den, her jabberjaw filled with fish. He settles down beside her and tentatively takes a few bites as his friend continues to babble about how she caught this fish all by herself. The fish is good - all fish is good - but distantly, Flutterpaw wonders if something is wrong with it because he can't quite taste as well as he could yesterday. He waits for a good moment to bring this up, but Silverpaw is excited about her catch and so he just continues to eat with her, not willing to ruin her moment.

The lack of taste is commendable in certain situations. One elder compliments him for his deftness with the mouse bile this time around. He hadn't been able to smell the awful stuff. Maybe something about the fish from earlier made him super lucky, maybe it made him mouse bile immune. "Thank you," Flutterpaw says in response to the comment. His voice sounds scratchy and deep to his own ears - and it hurts to speak.

It was probably just the bile.

Still, he opts to keep his mouth shut for the rest of the day, lest he worry anybody with his weird scratchy tone. He didn't want anyone to think him unapproachable because of the new timbre he had unwittingly taken on. The day is capped off with a dusk patrol, which is fine by him. He would simply be told what to do and where to go, no talking required.

He is exhausted by the time he is allowed to go back to his nest. The inside of his head felt tight, like a thousand little bees had taken up residence between his ears and were very angry about being in such a little space. While his throat hurt, this was actively painful. It is so painful that he can't help but whine a little, softly, then pitifully as the sound hurts his own ears. Everything feels bad and wrong and -

Slowly, excruciatingly, he drifts to sleep, a little whimper and moan accentuating each little snore. He coughs. And he coughs. And he hacks. And he wheezes. He shivers in his sleep, his entire body convulsing in a fever pitch while the boy tries to rest. Always the protected child, forever the most fragile son, no one could have known how sensitive Flutterpaw was to sickness until this very moment, until this perfect storm of plague rolled over the clans. Born with a fragility only speculated by his parents and never tested, Flutterpaw stands no chance against the illness as it wrecks havoc on his immune system.

It happens so suddenly. It happened so suddenly. With one last wheeze, Flutterpaw's eyes flicker open and he reaches out a shaky paw. "Da-"

One sound is all he can manage before he is gone, his paw now frozen in an attempt to reach his brother's nest for comfort, like he always did before. @.DARTERPAW.​

 

[CARP-PAW]

FIGHTING IT IS HOPELESS ————————————​

​

The den felt so stuffy. Stuffy and.. quiet. Too quiet, so quiet, that when someone did break the silence, it shocked Carppaw awake. She hadn't slept very well, no, not at all. Her eyes split wide open, turning her head towards Flutterpaw. Something was wrong. He was still, so still, that by the Carppaw realized, perhaps she was as still as he was. Is?

Her thoughts are racing as she pushes to her paw, the younger apprentice staring at the form of the other apprentice. A cacophony of emotions started to rise in her throat. She hadn't experienced death, not like this. No, she hadn't. Her thoughts are stuttering, as if they cannot believe it either. "Flutterpaw?" She finally squeaked out, ears lowering down and her form shifting into a crouch. Her thoughts twisted, and heartbeats passed without a response. She spoke again. "Flutterpaw? Wake up. D.. Darterpaw- Darterpaw?" Carppaw spoke. Her tongue felt like it had been twisted.

Her throat felt as if someone had stuck mud or sand in it, and she couldn't form her words right. A shuddering breath was inhaled, and Flutterpaw wasn't breathing. His pelt wasn't rising and falling. She turned and peeled herself out of the apprentice den, her eyes rapidly searching camp. And finally she broke her silence, shoulders rising and falling with some kind of delicate balance of hurt. She didn't know why it hurt. "Ravensong? Snakeblink? Something- something happened to.. Something happened to Flutterpaw." She called out, her lungs aching.

// calling for @Snakeblink and @RAVENSONG

"speech"
​

——————————————————————————————— sinkin' in your ocean ​

 

[salmonshade]

Salmon is supposed to fetch Ratpaw, rouse her so they can get a quicker training session in. She does not expect to nearly stick her head in right as Carppaw streaks past, causing her to jerk back, ears flattening in disdain. Snakeblink has an apprentice with almost too much energy, thats for sure. But she sounds like she almost cries when she speaks, calling out, looking aimlessly. What had gotten the girl so worked up?

Something happened to Flutterpaw. Her blood runs cold, what could it be? Another sick case, lethargic in their nest, was the boy okay? She does not keep track of any of the other apprentices besides her own, but she cannot help but feel something tugging at her heart.

She sticks her head in and there he lays. "Flutterpaw," she will not approach further. "Are you feeling okay?" when he does not respond, she squints and then her eyes widen in something akin to horror. He's still, laying there stretched out with a paw towards another nest and just now does she notice the lack of movement from his sides. There is no rise and fall of a chest, there is no soft stirring and a pit of dread begins to build within her own chest and her stomach. There is a lack of life that comes from him, that makes itself known. How much more? She lowers her ears. How much more will our Clan lose?

Some selfish part of her, that she would never admit, thinks shes just barely relieved that it wasn't a round-eared, white body that lays still. She winces, crushes it out with a heavy sigh. She turns her head, she steps back further now and feels her expression fall even. She would put on her mask, like she always does and even now in the face of death she does not find it difficult. "He's dead." she'd speak to the cat nearest to her, eyes moving down to her paws. At least it'd be an explanation on why Carppaw was acting the way she was, at least it was something, at least it... She feels sick to her stomach. A young apprentice should not have succumbed to this fate. Blazestar was right, when would the deaths start wracking up?

She simply sits still and waits for Ravensong for any orders spoken to nearby warriors, if she could offer help she would.

₊˚.༄ info

• 
  -> salmon ,, salmonshade
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 30 months
  -> warrior of riverclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with low white and blue eyes
  -> "speech, ff91a4" ,, thoughts
  -> lesbian ,, single
  -> smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  -> image by @wrendoings [ disc ]

 

[LAKEMOON]

LAKEMOON — me and the devil, walking side by side.
Coming back to camp had started to become a dreaded task, even more so when she had to send Flutterpaw back to the disease-riddled apprentices den.
That had been before the cure was discovered though, the last quarter moon had brought a little more ease to the tabby.
Her watchful eye had dropped, wandering onto other priorities that had been neglected in her fretting. Flutterpaw had been quiet that day, tired- but weren't they all? Picking up extra patrols and chores- fatigue was to be expected.
While her apprentice wheezed out his last mortal breath, Lakemoon slept peacefully curled up with her Lilybloom, drifted to sleep with thoughts of their next lesson plan- combat.
The sun had yet to touch the horizon when Lakemoon slips out of the warriors den, but she never woke Flutterpaw as early as this, thinking it cruel to put an apprentice on the same rigorous schedule she kept. Maybe with time…
Carppaw bursting from the apprentices den shatters Lakemoons train of thought, usually narrow optics almost widening in alarm.
Something's happened to Flutterpaw!
Salmonshade reaches the den before her, Lakemoon only arriving as the warriors verdict is muttered.
He's dead.
Before she'd let Salmonshade fully finish, she'd call on her apprentice.
"Flutterpaw. Wake up." It's a sharp but lowly-spoken command. Lakemoons ears angle to the side, brows furrowing. She had heard Salmonshade, the tabby just refused to believe it quite yet.
The child doesn't stir, his patchwork coat dull.
The tabby steps forward, brushing past Salmonshade to come close to Flutterpaw, eyes clouded with immense sorrow.
"Oh, Flutterpaw." What perhaps should have been an exclamation is simply a whisper accompanied with a shake of her striped head. "May your journey to the stars be peaceful, and may you shine as bright as you did in life." The prayer is short and slightly muffled as the warrior bends her head to lightly touch against his shoulder.
This sickness would not claim another, she would not let it.

"speech"

tags​

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[FALLINGLIGHT]

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⸻ "He's dead," Salmonshade says to Lakemoon's back as she enters the den, and in her clear single-mindedness, Fallinglight doesn't think she heard, or maybe she did and it's helpless hope that leads her to call for Flutterpaw. But he did, and his breath catches in his chest as he swings his gaze over to Carppaw, the truth of her distress laid plain with two words. He sets his jaw to weed out the faint tremble, ears twisting back. It doesn't matter that he didn't know Flutterpaw well; he is –he was— a RiverClanner and a young apprentice. Now he's in StarClan, where he'll never learn what it's like to hear the clan chant his warrior name.

Fallinglight moves to Carppaw's side, meaning to press against her comfortingly, at least until Snakeblink arrives. "You look like you could use some more rest," he says quietly. "Maybe you can get a quick nap in by the river." He wouldn't suggest the apprentice den.
​

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 / / \ \ 𝙿𝙰𝙸𝙽𝚃 𝙰 𝚄𝙽𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴 𝙾𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙴𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 / / 09.08.23 \ \ 𝙵𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙴

• —ooc:
• — FALLINGLIGHT / / 13 moons old / / amab and uses masculine pronouns; will be startled by the use of any others.
  — warrior of riverclan / / earned warrior name early at 10 moons / / skilled but not experienced / / mentoring [n / a].
  — npc parents / / father died in the great battle and mother left when he was apprenticed / / no contact w / siblings.
  — flirtatious & disastrous bisexual / / fairly indiscriminate (even when he should be) / / closed to long-term romance.
  
  a fairly trim, athletic cream tabby and black chimera with high white. fur is thick and a bit sharp, though tends to soften and curl primarily around his face and tail when wet. eyes are a bright, gleaming blue at home with the river on clear, sunny days. he is rarely without a devil-may-care grin, though despite his daring personality, has yet to accumulate noticeable scarring.
  
• dear shell, we've lost flutterpaw today. i want to be angry with him, because surely he must have known he wasn't feeling well and that he needed to see ravensong, but...how messed up would that be? he's gone and we're all still here, except i can't stop thinking about how quickly that can change.
  
  what if saltsting's next?

​

​

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[CARP-PAW]

FIGHTING IT IS HOPELESS ————————————​

​

Salmonshade is quick to move past her, but Carppaw doesn't seem to hear over the buzzing in her ears. Was she panicking? Was all of that energy finally turned against her? Her vision was far off- watching Fallinglight and Lakemoon approach. And Salmonshade pushed free of the den, words following that made Carppaw's stomach drop and tumble. He's dead.

Carppaw's eyes swung towards Salmonshade, her eyes full moon and ears flattened. She had been in a den with a dying cat? Was she going to get sick? Her breath hitched, trying to keep it together. Flutterpaw is gone. She made a low, whining noise, stepping backwards from the den. Fallinglight was there, though. She didn't even question leaning in against the older, her form shaking gently. Like a leaf in the wind, pushed against the cooling waters of Riverclan. Life was an ebb and a flow, but that didn't mean that Carppaw couldn't call it unfair.

Fallinglight said something, and she nodded quietly. "I.. I don't think I can sleep but I..." Her gaze shifted towards the banks of her river. Maybe Snakeblink or her mother would find her, too, not that she didn't appreciate Fallinglight's help. "I'll try." Her voice was small as she moved to the riverbank, sitting down and trying to calm herself down. Maybe what helped when she was too excited would help here- breathing in, and out, focusing. In, out, focus.

"speech"
​

——————————————————————————————— sinkin' in your ocean ​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

His apprentice's high, breathy voice tugs Snakeblink's attention like a claw hooked under his ribs. His head snaps towards the apprentice's den, his paws slipping in the dirt as he makes a heel turn to head in the direction of the noise. The cats gathered around make his heart seize in anticipatory panic — an aching tension that builds up along his spine and releases, guiltily, when he catches sight of his apprentice. She seems hale and well, if disturbed.

The whispers of Flutterpaw and Starclan elucidate that mystery, at least, and Snakeblink finds his head lowering under the weight of an unexpected grief. The disease has been quietly creeping up on them, building like a storm in a Greenleaf sky; this feels like the first lightning strike.

Skirting past Lakemoon with only a sympathetic look — he would not want to mar her loss with clumsy words — he gives Fallinglight a startled but grateful nod at the young warrior's thoughtfulness. It seems Fallinglight is as good at finding the right thing to say as he is at getting a rise out of others. Despite his initial misgivings about the other tom, Snakeblink is grateful that his apprentice's first brush with death was met with immediate kindness.

He pads up to Carppaw and stops once his shadow falls over the troubled apprentice. "This must have been difficult to witness," he says quietly, hovering next to her. "But you are okay. Keep breathing — slowly."
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• — Snakeblink • he / him. 43 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  

​

 

[RAVENSONG]

He hadn't known.

Ravensong feels his heart drop low in his chest cavity. His paws drag with each step forward. He cannot believe it until he sees it. Flutterpaw's body lies limp—ravaged by sickness he can only assume by the suddenness of the death and the smell of what he had been accustomed to know as yellowcough.

Why didn't you come? He thought in despair. Why doesn't anyone listen? Flutterpaw's silence had cost him his life, and none of them had known.

Ravensong searches the others' faces fervently for answers—why did you keep this from me? He died and I had no idea!

"There will be a vigil, but after the body is buried, for the health of the Clan." He says, almost coldly and distantly. The fear of not having control, of having failed envelopes him entirely. He hides it best he can. To Carppaw his vacant eyes land painfully. To wake up to a dentate dead is something he could not wish on anyone. "I'm sorry." He leans forward to grasp Flutterpaw's scruff to begin his final journey out into camp.

☾₊ ⊹ темная ночь — dark is the night

•  
• 
  RAVENSONG of RIVERCLAN
  — LH BLACK POLYDACTYL MALE (CARRYING CINNAMON, DILUTE) a tall, slender creature with pitch-black feathery fur, large ears, and a sharply angled skull held up in an aloof manner. smells of dried herb, speaks with a low and rumbly accent and walks with an elegant slinking gait.
  
  — born in twolegplace and orphaned at a young age, he joined riverclan at its inception and began training as a drypaw warrior known for a bitter temperment until beesong made him his medicine cat apprentice. after his mentor's untimely death, he had been named ravensong at the moonstone, young heart revitalized with anger and guilt. he is a somber and thorough medicine cat that guards every word spoken in the confines of his den.
  
  — secretly loves "the stars but not so much what inhabits them"
  — openly suffers from chronic migraines
  — single, but "it's complicated"

 

[dovethroat.]

His heart is broken; how could it not be? It's as if it happened in an instant, and it so often did. It was terrifying, how the most consequential thing in one's entire life could be so binary—you either were dead, or you were not. Dovethroat's eyes are fixed on Ravensong as he approaches Flutterpaw, and Dovethroat can't help but feel his throat tighten. The instructions are simple, and reasonable, and yet they still sing the soul. Even in this moment, this ultimate loss, Flutterpaw cannot be afforded what he likely, at least distantly, expected his entire life. As woefully short as that was.

Darterpaw, his brother, is too painful to even think of. He cannot imagine. A hard lump begins to form in his throat and he feels like he is going to suffocate.

"Let me help," he speaks as if on command; without thinking of what he was doing. It was an unusual display of forthrightness for him. He knows that he is stronger than Ravensong is physically, and he wants nothing more than to give Flutterpaw as much honor as he can in this moment. Waiting for Ravensong to abdicate from the job he had given to himself, he then steps in to help.

[⋆]​

 

[hazecloud]

The amount of death and sickness filling their Clan had long since disturbed the misty she-cat. First it was an incurable disease, spreading rampant among all five Clans. Lingering on any cat across the forest, unknowing to their own contribution, demise or both to it's destruction.

With several bodies having already filled Ravensong's den, Hazecloud had done her best to avoid as many as she could. For the most part only Rookfang had been given the exception of her company, and occasionally she joined her friends from the nursery to catch up on what she had missed. She hardly spent more time than she had to in camp, having made the decision to sleep out in the plains. That morning she had come to collect any assigned patrols for her, only to find a small gathering outside the apprentice's den.

Her heart slowly sank when she spotted Ravensong among them, dragging out the dull form of Flutterpaw. She cringed her neck away as the scent of sick met her nose "StarClan, rest easy little one." Her voice quietly trembled. So young, so small. Too small to endure the fight against yellowcough. Carppaw tried to settle quietly and as much as she wished to relieve Ravensong of having to deal with it alone, Dovethroat had beaten her to it. She joined the other apprentice instead, offering the comforting flick of her fluffy tail over Carppaw's shoulder.

"You don't have to be alone, if company is better. I can stay with you until Snakeblink takes you out for training." She offered gently. ​

 

[ROOKFANG]

THE HERMIT ─── Death was at everyone's door. Sometimes it would briefly tap it's ghostly knuckles against it as if to warn of their time. Sometimes, it would just allow the wood to rot and then simply push in, without a word to acknowledge other than it was their time. There was a time when it kept tapping at his door, the echoes of the knocks reminding him of the limited time he had left in this world. He wasn't sure how or when he would finally be placed in the hands of Death. His mother had stated a two-legged creatures were Death and hence, she would whisper to always evade them if she wasn't around. Unfortunately, it wasn't a two-leg that had taken...them. It was simply the wild creatures that roamed among the forest and nature itself, preparing to find whatever was needed for their own survival. So Rookfang took it upon himself to accept that one day he would no longer be here, but when it came to his clanmates, the painful snagged tooth of grief always scraped against his heart.

A child.

This was not how it was supposed to be...it was never how it was supposed to be. They were the embodiment of life, of youth, of just starting out in this grand scheme that was called life. This wasn't...it wasn't his siblings. But the haunting flashes of their deaths suddenly flashed through his mind like blazing claws of lightning, causing the tightened feeling around his throat only grow stronger as he followed shortly behind Hazecloud, his ebony heavy figure stiffening little by little as the crowd interacted with the loss that they were now having to face and accept. His fangs pressed harder against his lower lip as he tightened his jaws and his long claws began to sink into the ground beneath him, as if to anchor him. His half-lidded eyes were becoming more narrowed, slits of weighted blue hiding the little gold that traced his eyes as he looked down at the gaping hole of the entrance where the body had been emerged from, the lifeless form of Flutterpaw. He closed his eyes briefly shut, screwing them tightly as Rookfang tried to accept the difficult realization that this sickness was unforgiving and did not have a preference for who it wanted to take.

He slowly opened his eyes back as he watched Hazecloud head over to comfort the other apprentice, Carppaw with the others. He knew his strengths and weaknesses and comforting was not his strong suit. What could he say or do that would lift the immense weight that the sibling was going through? "I'm sorry, Carppaw... Rookfang felt ashamed that was all he could bring himself to say, his deep voice holding a gentleness he was hardly used to. His head dipped in a low bow towards the apprentice direction before turning over towards Ravensong and Dovethroat, knowing at least that he could provide some use in the matter of the fallen apprentice's burial. "I can help with the burial. I'll...also clear the nest if needed." There was a stinging shame to that brought guilt to Rookfang with his last offer, feeling ashamed that they had to wipe clear Flutterpaw's prescence due to the sickness that had overtaken him. But if it had to be done, he would do so.​