private Not only what we sow ✶ Cherryblossom

[Owlheart]

She hadn't actually spoken to her family about the kits that were expected... soon? Truthfully she didn't pay many attention to the queens when they're expecting. Wait no, that sounded bad, she did pay attention to the queens but spared no thought over the time frame they were expecting kits for. Since Oddgleam had thrown up at camp she had her thoughts wrapped around the fact that herself and her mates were going to be parents, parents. It was easy for this fact to wrap itself around her and for Owlheart to develop a sort of tunnel vision surrounding this fact, every action was made in purpose to make sure the calico was resting comfortably and that she was doing all she can to be the best mate/future parent she could be.

Outside of that she had let the maintaining of her other clan relationships falter slightly, that did unfortunately include her family. It pained her upon reflection to realise this as this was something she prided herself on but truly this still counted as being family orientated right? Despite the denial she held over this there was a desire to re-orient herself, starting with someone that she had felt distant from for quite some time.

"Cherryblossom, would you like to share this quail with me?" It had caught her eye on the fresh-kill pile, namely because it was sizable enough for two. There was no real desire to eat but she had learnt through sharing a meal with Edenberry that it did aid in trying to keep busy while silence would fall over conversation. With a polite nod she leads the pair away from the dens that could hold any wayward cats who desired to hear new gossip, not wanting to indulge that.

The warrior is diligent in plucking feathers from the bird, finding a steady rhythm. A small task that she didn't need to dedicate much thought to, she wouldn't strip the bird clean but just enough to line Oddgleam's nest in the nursery with. "Oddgleam is expecting kits" she breaks the silence, her already soft voice growing quieter as she is still clinging to thoughts on where these feathers should go. Her gaze falls on her sister, the ex-deputy now, to rise to such power and fall from it just as sharply, there was a lingering concern for how her sister felt in regards to this. Part of Owlheart was thankful that she was demoted from that position, while she was certain of her sisters capabilities she was concerned that it was too much for even her shoulders, it didn't help the rift between them either.

"I'm thinking about suggesting Bravekit for a name, it would be in your honour. Would that be okay?" She never held the desire to name any potential kit in direct link to anyone she knew but there was an appeal for applying for virtues as a way of honouring those currently in her life while simultaneously bestowing wishes upon one of her kits. It was strange, to think about things like this, names and what they mean when she never expected this chapter of life to ever unfold before her eyes.

// @Cherryblossom
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[Cherryblossom]

Cherryblossom isn't sure how to feel. About anything, really. The sun rises and sets, past the treeline, past the Twolegplace, past the mountains, past the lake where it finally drowns. She's going through all the proper motions: the patrolling, the training, the admonishing Ricepaw for her various little failures and trying to pick a success from out of the mess, the visiting Slate in his sickbed and finding the sight of him so fragile too uncomfortable to stand for long. Twitchbolt is deputy again, and—"How do you feel about it?" all the prying eyes murmur.

She feels like cleaning the pine needle dust from between her toes. That's what she feels. She feels like smoothing over the fur around her scars and picking at their edges with a fine claw. She feels like taking herself out on another hunting patrol where she just gets lost in the same tree-length of forest till the sun wanes, except—"Cherryblossom, would you like to share this quail with me?"

The calico blinks as if startled, disdainful and immediately dismissive. "I'm busy," springs into her mouth like a frog, but her little sister's eyes are golden and round, so she swallows it. It's not like she has extra duties anymore. "...kay?" she says, like there should be a reason to share a meal with her loved ones.

Cherryblossom makes small talk. "How's is going?" and "What'd you do today?" and "Nothing special," interrupted by the faint crunch of birdbone beneath teeth. It's not as awkward as the onlooker might expect; there's a steady rhythm to talking around eating, something perfected in all her sunrises of gossip. She's pulling a down feather from her teeth when Owlheart drops the bomb.

Something spasms across her face: confusion, or derision. The time for "So you're serious about them?" has long passed; the whole clan already knows about the three of them. They seem deliriously happy around one another. What leaks from her mouth instead is, "...really." She levels citrine eyes at the tabby, expecting more.

More she gets. Brave. Genuine surprise loosens her expression ever so slightly. Is that—is that really how her sister saw her? Or was it just a flimsy attempt at reconnection, made on the head a child no less? She pauses before answering; the feeling squirms inside of her. "Name your children whatever you want, sissy," she replies, dredging up the old nickname for... some reason. Some odd, faded hit of sentimentality.

"Brave sounds nothing like Cherry," she remarks, picking a wisp of feather out from her chest. "How long have you guys been thinking about names? How long, like, how long have you guys known?" The ashen-eared molly pauses at this. "You can't just spring 'I'm gonna have kits!'—" She says it in sing-song falsetto. "—on me and then just tell me you're gonna name one after me. Does Orangestar know? Stars, I bet she knows." The way she looks at her sister is almost accusing.​

 

[Owlheart]

There was relief that a steady rhythm flows between the pair in conversation, it truly feels for a moment that not much time had passed between them at all. It's small talk, sure, but it felt like comfortable small talk. No constraints of tension lingering over them, only for Owlheart to do what she does best and speak abruptly. "Really, we're going to be parents" she comments on an exhale, of course they were going to be parents who else would Oddgleam be raising his kits with? She didn't know why she had to clarify this to her sister but under that citrine gaze there was a desire to make sure she knew that.

Cherryblossom's reaction isn't one that she expected but to be honest she wasn't entirely sure what she expected from her. The mention of the old nickname is a surprise, for a brief moment Owlheart believes that they're kits again, before being apprentices had started to part childhood dynamics. She can't help but laugh, much like everything else from the tabby it sounded awkward. "Well yeah but I didn't want to maybe name them directly from you, they're not you so it didn't feel right" that much should be obvious, right? She liked to believe so anyways but it has become increasingly clearer that the pair don't share the same outlook on this. "I think you're really brave Cherry, I hope that they can be just as brave" the sincerity is oozing from her words, tone too sweet in the face of the conversation at paw.

"It would be okay if they weren't- I just think it would be nice-" that defensive reflex of rambling rises from within her insecurities, she's old enough now to try and stomp that before she rambles on. This conversation wasn't about names anymore, even she could gather that and she wanted to give Cherryblossom the space to talk about it. How long have they known? Her sun-like gaze shifts from the scrutiny of her sister and flicks sky bound, taking inventory of the clouds rolling in as she tries to recall. "It's been a few weeks" she admits meekly, only two since she had found out herself, pelt bristles uncomfortably as she considers the fact that she truly had let her tunnel vision on making sure everything was running smoothly for her mates overtake her family, her littermates. "I'm sorry-" Starting off with an apology with no further explanation didn't sound right.

Instead there's an attempt to scramble towards a better explanation "I haven't told anyone- It doesn't make it better I know but I haven't told mum about it" does that make it better or worse? Owlheart wasn't too sure. Her ears do pick up on the fact that their mother is dubbed Orangestar instead of anything informal, maybe there was still a part of deputy mindset within the young warrior. "She knows though, I thought you would have noticed Oddgleam move to the nursery?" The first nights she could see why it may not have been noticable, but it had been weeks since he returned to the den that they share with Cherryblossom. To think that she hadn't noticed at all confused her, maybe it was too selfish of her to think her sister would pay much attention to the activities of those who were around her. "I don't have to suggest it- we may not even decide on that name but I just thought I should ask, I plan on asking all of our littermates about names" her tongue darts, nervously swiping the corner of her maw as she paws at the ground below. "You're the first cat that I've told about this... I wanted you to be the first to know if you didn't already" it had been a tie in her head over who to inform first, Orangestar already knew so she didn't have to stress about this but she had weighed up to discuss this with Cherryblossom or Tawnyclaw first.
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[Cherryblossom]

It's like she's still deputy in Owlheart's gaze; like she painted Silverpelt in her own image. She's always been the fawn at her feet, the loyal soldier of her kitten conquests. Her heart bleeds from every curve of her face, slick and tangerine-sweet. No wonder Crowsight adores her: she's open and honest in a way that he could never hope to be. It all makes her realize that she's indulged her little sister far too much. Now she has two toms to do it for her too.

Cherryblossom scoffs at her praise, though she doesn't deny it outright. "...sure, I guess. Well, thanks," she meows unenthusiastically. Going on the Journey had been brave, brave as much as it'd been foolish, not just on her part but Blazestar's and her mother's and Slate's and Little Wolf's too. Though it gives her no pause, arises no moral quandries, to bask in the glory others may shower her in. Springpaw and the fox, her doomed chase after Applefrost's killers... she won't deny her own bravery, no.

So why does she balk at the thought of Owlheart recognizing it? At the idea of a tiny kitten learning of their namesake, being encouraged to take pride in it? It's ever-so-vaguely sickening. It's as though the horizon is clear, but she can feel the stormclouds scrunching up just below it, though her whiskers tingle with no static and the air crackles with no ozone.

Owlheart's faltering, apologizing. It gives her no pleasure to see her sister cower, but it doesn't quite hurt her either. What hurts, however, is the slap of hitherto unknown news right against her cheek. Knowing that someone else, untold numbers of someone elses, knew of things before her lights a brazier under her heart. Just how far had she fallen off? Her whiskers flare, and her brow twitches lower; hopefully a shrug would cover it up. "I've been busy." She says it with the ghost of, "I've better things to do," trailing on its heels. "It's not like I spend my days cuddling Edenberry." Or nights, for the matter really. They go home at night. Duh.

Justifications spills like rainwater from the awning of Owlheart's lips. It placates her, somewhat. "Mmm... no, you can name one that if you really want to," she concedes, like it's some minor generosity on her part to allow her own sister to name a child after her. A white paw scuffs at the earth, and the soft scritch of it annoys her. "Honestly, I don't know why you bother asking. It's not like I have the power to change their names, even if I wanted to."

"I bet they'll be over the moon with it though." After Cherryblossom, stoic Glimmersun would probably have the tamest reaction. Tawnyclaw would crack a smile-laden joke, and Eggbounce would fly out of the forest with glee. She hardly wonders why she's not happier herself.

The first? Cherryblossom cocks her head, gaze straying with thought. "Oh. Erm. Thanks." It feels weird to thank her for this, but her delivery makes her feel as though she should. Like she just loosed a confession from her chest, and she should be honored for the courage. The courage to speak up after all the rumors have already died down, of course.

The calico pauses, gathering herself with a few licks to her chest. "Soooo... like... how's it going with all that?" She makes a face. "Sister, I'll be honest with you, I can't really ever see Crowsight, like, as a father. Like actually becoming one." Just as she can't imagine her sister becoming, no, being one. Looking at her, she's barely past wide-eyed, dreamy kithood herself.​

 

[Owlheart]

Cherryblossom was busy, she had assumed that might be the case. She takes it at face value, ignoring the implications of what being busy truly meant within this context. Her sister always carried so much weight on her shoulders, piling on one task after another, climbing up an impossible mountain yet never surpassing the summit. At least that's what Owlheart wanted to think, ever the loyal little sister she turned a blind eye to what that else may possibly come from a simple phrase such as 'I'm busy'. "That's fair, how are you and Edenberry doing?" She doesn't mean to side track the conversation but she asks on instinct, wanting to make sure that her sister was being looked after and in turn wanting to make sure the calico was looking after the pinstriped daylighter in turn. She had asked them the same question before, so she was curious to know if the answer would be different from the other half of the relationship.

Just as quickly as she asks she drops it. Seamlessly falling into the role of placating and over explaining why she would possibly want to honour her sister through naming her child something in relation to her. A white splashed paw presses ontop of her other forepaw, stroking the long fur that curled by her paws as a way to self soothe. Something grounding in hopes that she wouldn't lose herself to ceaseless ramblings. "I know you don't but... You'll be seeing them around camp, they're part of your life too" at least I hope so, I would like that. "So I'd hate for you to not want that and it impacts the kit" she hopes that makes sense, anxieties creeping up and she can feel a bubbling fountain of stress rise within her. She would always love Cherryblossom, follow the calico to anywhere her whims would take her, it was unconditional but sometimes she made herself sick with worry that she's doing a good job of it. As if being a sister is something that she should worry about.

It isn't just her sister that she worries for, that same anxiety ebbs and flows for all of her littermates. There's different reasonings behind each one, the sun kissed tabby just wanted to make sure that they were loved, that they all knew that no matter what she could be someone they can rely on. There is a side effect to Cherryblossom being so taken aback by the news, she now feared that her other littermates would feel the same, regret and guilt clouding her judgement as she thought about what should be a happy moment. "all that?" she blinks in rapid succession before staring at the warrior with wide eyes once more, tilting her head to punctuate that confusion.

Something clicks in her head, it's embarrassing to admit how long it takes her. "The pregnancy? It's going well, we're trying to decide on names but... You've gathered that already" An awkward laugh flutters from her as she curls her tail around her hind paws. "We're all excited, nervous but excited" honest to a fault she would happily lay her stomach bare and expect the most vulnerable sides of her to not be struck. Her stare becomes narrowed, an ear flicks in recognition to the question at paw. "I don't know what you mean? He's becoming a father soon? I think he's really happy about it" despite her confusion she smiles sweetly at the thought of her mate, once again not registering that there might be something deeper behind the calicos words.
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