- Aug 18, 2022
- 706
- 201
- 43
DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP
//tw for derealization, dissociation, mentions and talk of death
dying a second time did not make the process easier. it made it... worse. they're stuck in this fucked up out of body feel, not even truly sure that they actually weren't dead. who's to say this wasn't just starclan? who's to say any of this was actually real? it mattered not if someone tried because chilledstar has little reason to believe anyone right now. their vision is blurry, not quite present within their mind. they barely know where or when they're at. but they do know this... lingering in this den was helping no one. they're weak and feeble, and yet they do their best to try and make their way up the slick rock that hangs over the camp, a light drizzle of rain making their body shiver on instinct. they're not even sure if they feel the water droplets, or anything but a sense of dread right now. they don't even realize their body is moving on muscle memory, only to slip and tumble back down with a thud and a wince. no one was around to see that, fortunately for the leader, but they'd have to see starlingheart about the new ache in their paw.
alright. so that's scratched off the list. they cannot climb that rock and gather cats for a meeting. not when this weak. even if they managed to not slip, something told them that their frail body would never make it to the summit. plan b it is. they limped in front of the rock, where their deputy likely would sit, before calling out to the cats amongst the blurry crowd.
"shadowclan. it is t-time for a... for a..."
what was it time for again? their body seemed to trail off, the gentle pitter of droplets upon branches, breezy leaves, and pine needles echoing around them. time for something. important. it's important.
"meeting. time for a meeting."
they nearly croak out, looking out into the gathering crowd. would they be confused about their placement, or would they keep their lingering thoughts to themselves? only the stars knew.
"kits need to be apprentice now. right? that's it. yes. uh. w-who's... where i-is..."
they wheezed, a cough rattling their aching bones. surely this sickness cannot take them again, right?
"wolfkit. ptarmigankit. poppykit. gracekit. fl...flintkit? when did he get out of the medicine cat den? did... it work?"
they're not asking anyone. their thoughts can't be kept back in this state, it seems, and they're just speaking aloud. when they squinted towards the kit, something about him was unsettling. why? what was it about his face that made the leader feel that way?
"you're becoming apprentice today. w-wolf's kitten... no no. wolfkit, now wolfpaw, will be mentored by crowtalon. poppykit– paw. poppy's paw. poppypaw.. the spotted stump shall be your mentor. wait... stumpyspots. yes. that's right. wh-who else is there? gracepaw. your name is now gracekit and your mentor will be... ugh. gracekit. your name is gracepaw and lightfeather shall mentor you. quailkit. no. ptarmigankit. yes. crustedlily. I meant– damn it– lilycrest will be your mentor. flintkit... kit with flint. the warrior who will be your mentor is... is..."
what they're saying is interrupted by a sneeze, a shiver reaching their body yet again. cold, again. they truly must have been dead still. when was it that they came back from that again?
"jawscale. jawscale. scalejaw. please mentor the kit with the eyes."
they point in flintkit's direction. they're barley gonna remember all this, come tomorrow, but when they finally did, they truly were going to be embarrassed. but they weren't done. they shifted to get their weight off their aching paw, tired eyes wide and bleary.
"everyone's dying. halfshade... tornadopaw... they were taken from us too soon. too quickly. the stars are their new home. my new home. ours? we are all dead, aren't we?"
the last sentence is but a whisper. anyone who heard that had to have been super close to them. but their tail only twitches as they continue. two more things... or something like that, and then they could lay down.
"ferndance is being demoted. she's so unbelievably not serious. howlingstar probably is laughing about how kit-like she is and that's... terrible for something. but that means we kind of need lead warriors."
their eyes close and they see nothing. yet somehow, the first scent that hits their nose makes them make a choice. a delusional choice but one they'd have to stick by. one they wouldn't have made otherwise.
"granitepelt. you're a bit of downer but who knows... maybe you'll put it to good use. if you're willing, you can be the next lead warrior. what say you, pelt of stone?"
their eyes are big, and everything is still so blurry. they await his response, and if he says yes, they simply dip their head. they're not feeling good. they need to go lay down.
"great. now, cats that are healthy or not dead. undead. we need more patrols. rotating on a silly little rock. with an increase in rogue activity, we cannot leave the camp unguarded, but we also must make sure to spread our toes out and u-uh... make an effort to show those rogues that shadowclan thrives within the darkness they like to play in. so, if you're healthy enough, raise your paw. or something. "
they sat in wait. they'd make patrols go out right after this, but making sure that there were healthy enough cats to stay and keep an eye on that others within camp.
// activity shout outs !! scalejaw, nettlepaw, siltcloud, applepaw, ashenpaw, granitepelt, fleabounce, frostbite, and starlingheart!! but also, the entirety of shadowclan! yall are doing wonderful!!
// if your cat is available to patrol, please say so in the patrolling channels or reply to this meeting!!
// for anyone confused, chilledstar is very confused and not quite all the way there as a result of their recent death! because of this, they're stumbling over words, and overall not making the most sense but they're trying to!
// also, welcome to the hp team, temporarily, marq with granitepelt! this is a plot related promotion so stay tuned!!!
dying a second time did not make the process easier. it made it... worse. they're stuck in this fucked up out of body feel, not even truly sure that they actually weren't dead. who's to say this wasn't just starclan? who's to say any of this was actually real? it mattered not if someone tried because chilledstar has little reason to believe anyone right now. their vision is blurry, not quite present within their mind. they barely know where or when they're at. but they do know this... lingering in this den was helping no one. they're weak and feeble, and yet they do their best to try and make their way up the slick rock that hangs over the camp, a light drizzle of rain making their body shiver on instinct. they're not even sure if they feel the water droplets, or anything but a sense of dread right now. they don't even realize their body is moving on muscle memory, only to slip and tumble back down with a thud and a wince. no one was around to see that, fortunately for the leader, but they'd have to see starlingheart about the new ache in their paw.
alright. so that's scratched off the list. they cannot climb that rock and gather cats for a meeting. not when this weak. even if they managed to not slip, something told them that their frail body would never make it to the summit. plan b it is. they limped in front of the rock, where their deputy likely would sit, before calling out to the cats amongst the blurry crowd.
"shadowclan. it is t-time for a... for a..."
what was it time for again? their body seemed to trail off, the gentle pitter of droplets upon branches, breezy leaves, and pine needles echoing around them. time for something. important. it's important.
"meeting. time for a meeting."
they nearly croak out, looking out into the gathering crowd. would they be confused about their placement, or would they keep their lingering thoughts to themselves? only the stars knew.
"kits need to be apprentice now. right? that's it. yes. uh. w-who's... where i-is..."
they wheezed, a cough rattling their aching bones. surely this sickness cannot take them again, right?
"wolfkit. ptarmigankit. poppykit. gracekit. fl...flintkit? when did he get out of the medicine cat den? did... it work?"
they're not asking anyone. their thoughts can't be kept back in this state, it seems, and they're just speaking aloud. when they squinted towards the kit, something about him was unsettling. why? what was it about his face that made the leader feel that way?
"you're becoming apprentice today. w-wolf's kitten... no no. wolfkit, now wolfpaw, will be mentored by crowtalon. poppykit– paw. poppy's paw. poppypaw.. the spotted stump shall be your mentor. wait... stumpyspots. yes. that's right. wh-who else is there? gracepaw. your name is now gracekit and your mentor will be... ugh. gracekit. your name is gracepaw and lightfeather shall mentor you. quailkit. no. ptarmigankit. yes. crustedlily. I meant– damn it– lilycrest will be your mentor. flintkit... kit with flint. the warrior who will be your mentor is... is..."
what they're saying is interrupted by a sneeze, a shiver reaching their body yet again. cold, again. they truly must have been dead still. when was it that they came back from that again?
"jawscale. jawscale. scalejaw. please mentor the kit with the eyes."
they point in flintkit's direction. they're barley gonna remember all this, come tomorrow, but when they finally did, they truly were going to be embarrassed. but they weren't done. they shifted to get their weight off their aching paw, tired eyes wide and bleary.
"everyone's dying. halfshade... tornadopaw... they were taken from us too soon. too quickly. the stars are their new home. my new home. ours? we are all dead, aren't we?"
the last sentence is but a whisper. anyone who heard that had to have been super close to them. but their tail only twitches as they continue. two more things... or something like that, and then they could lay down.
"ferndance is being demoted. she's so unbelievably not serious. howlingstar probably is laughing about how kit-like she is and that's... terrible for something. but that means we kind of need lead warriors."
their eyes close and they see nothing. yet somehow, the first scent that hits their nose makes them make a choice. a delusional choice but one they'd have to stick by. one they wouldn't have made otherwise.
"granitepelt. you're a bit of downer but who knows... maybe you'll put it to good use. if you're willing, you can be the next lead warrior. what say you, pelt of stone?"
their eyes are big, and everything is still so blurry. they await his response, and if he says yes, they simply dip their head. they're not feeling good. they need to go lay down.
"great. now, cats that are healthy or not dead. undead. we need more patrols. rotating on a silly little rock. with an increase in rogue activity, we cannot leave the camp unguarded, but we also must make sure to spread our toes out and u-uh... make an effort to show those rogues that shadowclan thrives within the darkness they like to play in. so, if you're healthy enough, raise your paw. or something. "
they sat in wait. they'd make patrols go out right after this, but making sure that there were healthy enough cats to stay and keep an eye on that others within camp.
// activity shout outs !! scalejaw, nettlepaw, siltcloud, applepaw, ashenpaw, granitepelt, fleabounce, frostbite, and starlingheart!! but also, the entirety of shadowclan! yall are doing wonderful!!
// if your cat is available to patrol, please say so in the patrolling channels or reply to this meeting!!
// for anyone confused, chilledstar is very confused and not quite all the way there as a result of their recent death! because of this, they're stumbling over words, and overall not making the most sense but they're trying to!
// also, welcome to the hp team, temporarily, marq with granitepelt! this is a plot related promotion so stay tuned!!!