private Part-time soulmate full-time problem // Petalnose

[Aspenhaze]

Aspenhaze brings a relatively large eel from the fresh-kill over to Petalnose, having asked for her to eat and dine with them on this night. They were in a talking mood, and they haven’t had much time for themselves lately with her being a lead warrior. If there’s one thing they’re grateful for when it comes to Lichentail getting the deputy position, it’s that Petalnose won’t be even busier than she currently is.

After they take a few bites of prey, ripping away the slimy skin for the tasty meat underneath, they give a soft purr as they cuddle in closer to the warmth of Petalnose’s fur. “You look beautiful tonight,” Apsenhaze compliments, nuzzling her side. “I don’t think I tell you that enough. I also don’t believe that anything could make you less gorgeous to me.” It’s entirely true in their mind; even as they faced against the rogue’s invasion, backs against the wall, she was still a sight to behold.

“How is Smokestar doing? Now that you are on his council, I’m sure you’ve had a lot to discuss with him.” What isn’t there to do right now…it’s back to dealing with WindClan, an event that seems to never end. They’re not privy on what RiverClan will actually be doing, in the long run. “And is he treating you well so far? Snakehiss, Iciclefang? And also…” their sentence drifts off before they spit out the last name, “Lichentail.”​

 

[Petalnose]

Time with her bonded counterpart had been taken seriously just as she had with her responsibilities, arriving upon the time Aspenhaze requested. She had been on edge with herself after a dose of her night terrors and the tensions of Windclan were enough to constantly keep her head on a swivel. It was nice to relax. It was nice to have comfortable company.

Petalnose laid against blue fur tightly, trapping the warmth between them against the new chill that had set within the winds. A purr rumbled deep, although smooth as river stones as she nipped away at a salmon.

A compliment she had received and she briefly paused to look down upon Aspenhaze's own beauty, "And you look mesmerizing... You outshine every star upon this night." She hummed, gently tipping her head down to bump heads affectionately. "Likewise, even if fire scalded you, I'd still be here and know you outshine everything. You mean a lot to me." She hadn't imagined herself being upon this position. Loved and trusted. Betrayal and suspicion hadn't crept into the relationship. It was foreign to her, but she knew just how to react. She knew just how to love Aspenhaze. Despite.. her gaze shifted down upon her fish as the memory etched in her head. Never would she allow that to happen. Never would she let anger take control like that again.

A smile touched her lips as questions flowed from her mate, a soft chuckle seeping from her maw. "It seems as if you want to lead alongside me." She purred humorously, clicking her tongue as she thought of the questions. "Well, Smokestar and I don't seem to personally talk much privately. There isn't much to discuss between us. A more 'yes' and 'okay I'll do that' than anything. Of course, I speak my mind in council meetings. Smokestar seems to care for our thoughts better than Cicadastar is what I can point out so far." She explained, "I get along with Iciclefang, we occasionally discuss. She's young but she reminds me a lot of myself, just more collected at her age." A hum of humor, remembering her unruly behaviors in her youth she hadn't seemed to grow out of until further maturity. It made her wonder how Aspenhaze was, if they were as adventurous and thrill seeking as she was then.

"Snakeblink I get along with as well it seems. There are times I get frustrated with him, but you know how I am. He's a funny character." An odd ball in her eyes but generally she did enjoy his company within the council. Nearly a friend but mainly a business relationship.

A laugh at the tone Aspenhaze spoke of the new deputy. Lichentail was whom she hadn't personally interacted with frequently either besides the spar moons ago. A neutral view she would say. There were weaknesses she was aware of, things she wouldn't like to see in a leader to serve such as the awkward sway she had at times. The fascination with birds was odd as well, alien to Riverclan traditions. Although, she still respected Lichentail and she had fought beside her many times. "We don't talk much either. All is well, we've always had a neutral relationship in my eyes. Lichentail intrigues me at times, even more when Smokestar made his decision."

Questions she was served so instinctively she thought of her own, cocking her head to the side, "How are you feeling lately? Any of the latest gossip you want to share?" A playful smirk, she hadn't had much interest hearing it from others but she wasn't afraid to take part in her mate's hobby. An excuse to hear their voice chat on it was in addition.

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[Aspenhaze]

A soft smile reserved only for Petalnose lights up Aspenhaze’s face at the heaps of praise they also receive from their precious mate. “I’m… I’m happy you think so. You mean so much to me, too. I really wonder just what I did to deserve someone so amazing as you,” they chuckle lightheartedly. But it’s true, as sometimes it feels like the stars they are compared to on this night might have been the ones to bless them. If there is anything they are grateful for among the many struggles that comes with being a clan cat, it is the chance to have met her.

Part of them is glad that she takes their frustration at the mention of Lichentail’s name with amusement, as they did truly feel upset that Smokestar chose her as deputy instead of Petalnose. But before that. “That all sounds about right. I’m sure Smokestar has other things on his mind that he doesn’t feel comfortable divulging. Just happy he’s taking up his role so well already, and that he’s treating you all well. Snakeblink sure is a funny one though, hmm? I like him. Iciclefang, too. We might not know each other well, but she has passion. And her role in the journey makes her a hero, in my eyes.”

And that’s where the praise stops for now, as they go silent, thinking about how to approach the next topic. “It was… a very intriguing decision to make her deputy, to be sure. And one I do not agree with. Others might think me biased, but you were born for that role. Let’s not forget that not so long ago, she was heavily reprimanded by Cicadastar and given punishment. Her decision to get another cat pregnant during Leaf-bare too… it feels like a mistake.” They do still hold some respect for Lichentail, as they know she can be a hard worker when she puts her mind to it, but they seem to find her fumbling around more than being helpful.

“And I do want to lead alongside you, it’s true. Have I not proved myself more than worthy? Maybe I need to do more to stand out to Smokestar,” they suggest. “Actually… try to be friendly. I know how I’m perceived.” It is a well crafted image, and very intentional. However, if Aspenhaze really wants to make it, maybe some things would have to change. “But I am alright otherwise. And as for gossip, nothing too interesting save for WindClan. But when are they not at the center of attention?” It’s just one thing after another with them.​

 

[Petalnose]

I really wonder just what I did to deserve someone so amazing as you.

The words almost made her feel guilty under the fresh wound of her night terror. If she had really done what she believed, if it really were a memory haunting her, then she was the opposite to someone else. Amazing to that someone was what she tried repetitively to be but sick and twisted she ended. She was pushed away time and time and used as a replacement until time came to snap. Petalnose had waited to hear the same words and gave up after moons, which gave her a bittersweet feeling as the sentence touched her ears. Guilt and Bliss.

A light smile etched at her features again, "I wonder just the same, Aspenhaze. You are star sent in my eyes." A purr rumbled from her as she heard them chuckle, aiming to draw her tongue between their ears. She allowed warmth to overwhelm the chill sitting within her, accepting and gifting the love she so longed for within her youth. It all ended up at her paws after she stopped chasing it. Even when feeling guilty, it all felt worth it to her. This is what she wanted when she didn't think she did anymore.

On more about the new Riverclan deputy, she met her mate's blue eyes as she listened to them rant. This time she hadn't chuckled or smiled, a thoughtful look fell upon her with a click of her tongue at the mention of the litter. That was a decision on Lichentail's part that should've been thought about more, she was surprised Smokestar hadn't had her throat for that. It frustrated her and she would scold the two herself if she had higher authority but the stars didn't align that for her. "Hm, who knows what goes on in Smokestar's mind. Maybe he saw something in me that perhaps wasn't worthy and saw sought out traits in Lichentail instead. I'm not bitter about the decision, rather more confused. Although, I didn't really expect to be where I'm standing now. I didn't think I was stable enough then. My purpose is to serve Riverclan loyally and I will die by that in whatever position I take my last breath with." Petalnose thoughtfully replied, "Yes, it was an unexpected decision, and way to go to drown trust further by having that litter. I was born at this time and as a survivor, I really think it's highly unfair to these lives and to us. I hope these kits realize the sins of their parents just as I have so this will be a lesson learned. Selfish.. so selfish that decision was." Her kitten moons ached for warmth, food and color, it made her wonder how this litter would take it. Hopefully better.

A soft trill of amusement suddenly broke her souring mood at the response of her tease. "Of course you have, love. You are worthy." She hummed, "Hah..! Ha Ha! Friendly!? Don't you see how blunt I am, how mean I can be? Oh, and I don't even regret it...!" Petalnose puffed her chest in playful confidence, "In all seriousness, I believe the council could use your wisdom. You already blow me away with it, maybe you can flaunt it more. Be yourself, only shine the traits you already have. That is the advice can give you."


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[Aspenhaze]

Blissfully unaware of the conundrum stirring within their mate, though still noticing some of her hesitation as they try to be as attentive as possible, they wrap their bushy tail around her in comfort. At least she seems to rebound quickly, and they gracefully accept the show of love, leaning their head down for better access. “I’m glad we are on the same page, then.” They leave their words hanging after that, just enjoying being in the presence of their mate as they always do. It’s all they’ll ever need.

They’re once again happy that she is taking the conversation topic seriously, and being as thoughtful as she can be. It’s always nice to see this side of her, one Aspenhaze has all to themself, for the most part. “You absolutely deserve your high position, though! You’ve improved a lot, just from since we first started talking. It’s still an honorable one, and one that Smokestar better not be quick to discard.” Or else they would personally riot. But seeing as he has yet to make that decision, they doubt he ever will.

“It was a very selfish decision. I’m sure you have memories still of how rough it can be. But I trust Hazecloud, at the very least. Maybe…maybe they’ll even let me help, if I can.” More for Hazecloud than Lichentail, but it might help them mitigate some of their worries about how Lichentail will be as a parent, just as much as it is a selfish thought. “It’ll be my duty as a warrior anyways. Might as well make good on my position, yeah?” Especially since them and Petalnose will likely never have kids of their own. At least they can always live vicariously though queens.

Aspenhaze was being very serious at the suggestion of trying a new approach and being kinder than usual, but they quickly realize how silly it is as Petalnose brings up her own disposition as a retort. It warms their heart to hear her sing their praises, as well. “You have nothing to regret, love. Heheh. But I think you’re right. I’ll just try my best to…be more of me! And maybe I’ll make a good enough impression that way. And any excuse to look smart, huh?” They give a lighthearted chuckle, feeling better already.​

 

[Petalnose]

The praise given for her position made her briefly smile, a decision to take the compliment than to let her humility get the best of her. Petalnose tried her best to be proud of herself, recognizing her own improvements. Even if they had been against her will and experiencing through trauma of clan happenings. "Thank you. I hope he doesn't, but even if he or Lichen did, I'd still live by my promise." Everything she did was for the clan even to the details of her breath and heartbeat. It was for them. It would now always be for the clan. Not an individual beating heart and not for herself.

The agreement to her statement was expected, nodding at the mention of her rough start at life. However, a shift of her gaze in Aspenhaze's direction told she wasn't quite prepared for the rest. Petalnose had not been aware they had gotten close to the queen, the end of the sentence possibly insisting upon the reason. She admittedly felt uncomfortable to speak her mind this time but the awful habit of hers made her lips begin moving despite her want in avoidance of topic. Despite the apprehension within herself, she still managed to sound confident and teasing on the exterior, "I see your desires. You want kits don't you?" A playful narrow of her eyes, an aim of a teasing bump of her shoulder. It wasn't possible, so why should she be so silent about it? Why should they both be even if they had opposite desires? "Mm.. I agree. I'll leave that to you three, but if I got involved that would be a bit much. Just tell me about it if it goes your way, yes? I'm curious." Distant as ever she was with children. Moonpaw was an only exception, finding herself not minding being whatever figure she was looked up to. A bright youth she was with an admirable future. They occasionally had their talks, one being deep upon the tragedy of rouges.

Seeing that Aspenhaze accepted her opinion upon being themself, it made her purr in near relief. "Don't have me worrying, I don't need the cat I fell in love with to change... Take those chances, it also gives me an excuse to listen to you more." a sly smirk was added to her sudden jest of flirt, hoping to get a reaction out of them.

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