private ROW FOR YOUR LIVES ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ SNAKEBLINK

[BEEFANG]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ — After the small incident in the warriors den, Beefang had decided to see where the lead warrior had slithered off to and it doesn't take long for her to spot the familiar black tabbied pelt of Snakeblink. Her tattered ear flicks as she draws closer with her lone eye squinting at him for a heartbeat "At this rate, Smokestar will end up visiting your dreams before Moonbeam or Lichenstar." She says rather sarcastically not all that amused by the lead warrior telling the tale of Smokestar sleeping in the most uncomfortable spot in the warriors den, she could care less if he had lied to a young warrior and apprentice but it's another thing to make a ghost tale of sorts about her late father. The black smoke curls her tail over her paws still keeping her lone amber eye focused onto Snakeblink with the feeling if she so much as looked away then he'd disappear once more and her whiskers twitch. It truly makes her wonder just how Snakeblink has stayed in his position for this long especially when Hazecloud's distaste for him is so obvious, he had been a lead warrior since she had been a kitten if her memory is right.

It makes her wonder how Smokestar had dealt with Snakeblink for as long as he did... Perhaps, the lead warrior was some sort of comedic relief in a way or the reason why her father had developed more white spots on his inky fur. Whatever the reason may be, she wouldn't be able to know until her time came where she joined the stars herself and it causes her nonexistent brows to furrow in the slightest. "Snakeblink... How have you been a lead warrior for this long?" Beefang finally decides to ask mostly out of curiosity but ponders why Lichenstar even keeps him around when it's as clear as day that their mate doesn't enjoy the presence or words that slip from the black tabby's mouth. "You've been one for as long as I can remember." Her childhood memories are faint but they're still there somewhat despite the way she tries to block out some of those that kept her up at night.

How did you of all cats manage to outlive my father? She wishes to ask but decides that she wouldn't even if she can recall how she and Cicadaflight had managed to save the warrior from a potential death at the age of four moons, Beefang's surprised that Smokestar, Smokethroat at the time, had kept the tom on his council but she supposes that it was due to having bigger fish to catch around that time. Despite this, it doesn't keep the frown off her face nor the glare that's focused on him even if she may be missing her other eye.

DROWN IN YOUR SORROW AND FEARS ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ CHOKE ON YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEARS

• ooc — @Snakeblink

• 

  WARRIOR SKILLSET;
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧ HUNTING
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧ TRACKING
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧ COMBAT
  — ✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧ STEALTH
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧ STRATEGY
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦ SWIMMING
  — ✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧ CLIMBING
• 
  ✦ a shorthaired black smoke molly w/low white and a singular amber eye
  ✦ oftentimes comes off as untrusting of those around her, closed off, and not the easiest to engage in conversation with, she's not easy to befriend. distrusting of outsiders and will snap at you if y/c walks up to her on her blind side. all her opinions are IC only.
  ✦ 14 moons old; ages the 10th every month
  ✦ asexual homoromantic; mated to moonbeam
  ✦ currently mentoring... roepaw ; formerly mentored by smokestar
  ✦ firstborn daughter of cicadastar and smokestar
  ✦ sister of cicadaflight and loveburn
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Snakeblink is good at telling when he's being followed: he has an ear for gossip and a nose for other cats' business, and he's tailed enough clanmates to recognize when it's being done to him instead.

It doesn't make it any less strange to feel Beefang's eyes on him though. The quiet padding of her paws after him as he makes his escape from the warrior's den feels like brambles brushing against his spine: a quiet, understated threat. He stops near the edge of camp, forcefully shrugging the tension from his shoulders; he can tell he's not entirely successful by the jitter of his tail tip, the way his ears pin back slightly as he watches her approach. It never bodes well for him when someone sets upon tracking him down.

He thinks he knows what she wants with him. The sharp sarcasm in her voice as she speaks confirms it.

"I should be so lucky," he says, wry, at her suggestion that Smokestar might come to haunt his sleep. "Let us hope he does not, for his sake if not mine: he has dealt enough with me in life and deserves true eternal rest, I think."

It's said half in jest: Smokestar's irritation with him was well-documented, but he had mellowed throughout the moons, and their relationship had been… cordial, perhaps even friendly, by the time the dark tom had been lost to them. For all that Snakeblink is nervous at the thought of what the former leader would have to say to and about him… he would sincerely welcome a nocturnal visit from him.

Snakeblink... How have you been a lead warrior for this long?

Beefang's single-eyed star pins Snakeblink in place, killing his burst of nervous laughter before it can escape his throat. What a question! What a bold, rude, painfully justified question! He asks himself that often enough, and he knows she is not alone in wondering, but it's strange to hear it voiced nonetheless. He has been a lead warrior for many, many moons; since before she was born; he doesn't think it will ever cease to feel strange, to him and to others it seems.

It's certainly not for his charming personality, and it cannot be for his sparkling wit: he has received far more censure than praise over it. So what is it? He has spent every moon since his promotion asking himself the same thing. He has never found an answer that satisfies him — has never let himself settle for one. But Beefang is asking now, and the ghosts of two other cats stare out of her face: justifying himself before her feels like arguing for his life in front of a jury of the dead.

"I do not know," He begins, mouth twisting in dissatisfaction at his own words. He attempts another angle by which to approach the looming problem at the heart of the question. "I cannot claim to know why Cicadastar saw fit to promote me. He often saw things in cats that no one else did—" For better and for worse. "And perhaps he saw potential in me. I was, am, grateful for his trust."

But why is he still a lead warrior?

"I have done what I can, since then, to try and be worthy of the role I have been given." With… mixed results. Speaking of his work — the fish he has brought to the freshkill pile, the dens woven tight and warm by his paws, the patrols he has led — feels disingenuous. He does not think insomnia and industriousness have earned him bragging rights, not compared to what he still cannot do. The battles lost, the apprentices he could not protect, the many times he has talked himself into a feud with a clanmate. He looks away at last, ears twitching as he flees her stare. His paws ache with phantom exhaustion. "You are not the first to wonder why I hold on to the title still, considering…" A vague gesture of his tail, meaning: considering everything about me. "Your father — Smokestar, I mean — first among them. In fact, I thought for a long time that he would dismiss me from his council, but I suppose I must have a knack for ingratiating myself with the right cats after all."

A sigh escapes him. He shakes his head before turning back to Beefang, affecting an unconvincing, hopefully unoffending smile. "Apologies. Did that answer your question?"​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely​

ooc. information.

• 
  
  
  — Snakeblink • he / him. 57 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  

​

 

[BEEFANG]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ — Her single pupil narrows noting the way he seems to twitch and the way his ears move around, she isn't surprised too much by his antsy body language considering her aggressive approach. Snakeblink's response to her sharp sarcasm is enough to make the fur on the ruff of her neck to settle and a small frown pulls at the sides of her mouth "I agree..." There's a pause as she winces inwardly at herself for being so bold and tries a more lighthearted jest than the barbed sarcasm tossed so carelessly in the direction of the lead warrior, "I'm certain if he was still here... That he would've had a good laugh at you trying to scare Splashdance and Pebblepaw. After cuffing you over the ears first." Her own ears flick before settling onto her head as she notes that she had cut off any laughter with her rather blunt and rude question.

She listens closely to his answer over why he's still a lead warrior after all this time and both of her ears angle forward watching as he motions to himself. At the mention of Smokestar being the first to wonder why Snakeblink had stayed in the lead warrior position for as long as did, it makes her think for a brief heartbeat that she's truly her father's daughter... For better or for worse, she does not know. Her own sighs slips from her jaws as the tension from her body begins to leave and focuses onto the black tabby once more as she mulls over what he's said thus far. "Yes, it did." Beefang say at last and her tail curls around her forepaws only to add on, "And I apologize for being snappy at you earlier..."

It's the least that she could do as she recalls Snakeblink having sought her out when Cicadastar had been killed and they had all returned from Shadowclan's camp, he had been the one to ask if she was alright during that time while Smokethroat prepared to become leader of Riverclan. "... and being rude in front of Splashdance and Pebblepaw." She straightens her posture remembering how her cousin had tried to hold back laughter for her openly snapping at the lead warrior and she's aware that the older warrior could easily assign her the tasks of an apprentice if she continued to toe the line. Regardless, it isn't a good example to set for the younger cats for Beefang to not withold her sharp tongue.

A frown still tugging at her lips as she admits "I guess the loss of my father, Smokestar, is still a raw wound despite how many moons it's been..." Her gaze a lot less sharper when she glances towards Snakeblink once more and his death is a lot harder to accept than that of Cicadastar that felt like cycles ago. "I wasn't expecting a ghost story of him admittedly..." To this, she offers a dry chuckle and sighs once more. For a heartbeat, Beefang feels like the small apprentice the lead warrior had taken out on a hunting patrol with and asked if she had been okay. Lichenstar had done the same some time ago and she feels childish for wishing someone that had fallen victim to the gorge to return. It's not fair. Bee thinks as she falls silent awaiting to see what Snakeblink may do or say.

DROWN IN YOUR SORROW AND FEARS ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ CHOKE ON YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEARS

• ooc —

• 

  WARRIOR SKILLSET;
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧ HUNTING
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧ TRACKING
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧ COMBAT
  — ✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧ STEALTH
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧ STRATEGY
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦ SWIMMING
  — ✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧ CLIMBING
• 
  ✦ a shorthaired black smoke molly w/low white and a singular amber eye
  ✦ oftentimes comes off as untrusting of those around her, closed off, and not the easiest to engage in conversation with, she's not easy to befriend. distrusting of outsiders and will snap at you if y/c walks up to her on her blind side. all her opinions are IC only.
  ✦ 14 moons old; ages the 10th every month
  ✦ asexual homoromantic; mated to moonbeam
  ✦ currently mentoring... roepaw ; formerly mentored by smokestar
  ✦ firstborn daughter of cicadastar and smokestar
  ✦ sister of cicadaflight and loveburn
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

It's a relief and a private success to see Beefang settle down and watch her hackles lower as she listens to him. He waves her apology aside with a dismissive flick of his tail: "It is already forgotten. It is not the first time I have been in hot waters because of an ill-timed jest, and I assure you you are far less sharp-tongued than Hazecloud." He pretends to shiver dramatically, though his apprehension with regards to their deputy is very much real: he's gotten his fair share of tongue lashings from her and would rather never get another one if he can help it.

"And it is good for apprentices and warriors alike to know that we are not above reproach," he adds, thinking of her other father — the one he sees better in her brother's face than her own. He remembers how he had punished Lichentail for what he saw as them stepping out of line, how Smokestar had had to reassure his inherited council that he welcomed opinions differing from his own during their meetings. Perhaps that is how Snakeblink made it so long as a lead warrior: by keeping his peace and steering clear of the jaws of Cicadastar's scrutiny. Discretion is the better part of valor. "Though I appreciate you not calling me toad-brained in front of them, though I would have deserved it," he adds with a huff of laughter.

The small, fragile rapport they have built in this short conversation feels like a gossamer thread of spider-silk hung between them; Snakeblink feels like holding his breath as she admits to the still-living grief over her father lest he causes it to snap. He forces himself to breathe in slowly, digest her words and consider his response carefully. He has learned a little from his numerous social blunders — not enough to avoid mistakes, but perhaps enough to mitigate them.

"Smokestar's death was…" He licks his lips pensively, mulling over his words. Tragic, yes; sudden, yes; unfair, obviously. But all these sound trite in the face of her honesty. "We are poorer for the loss of him. If any single cat can be said to embody the soul of a clan, I think Smokestar was it for us. He has left a terrible void to fill, and even I feel haunted by his absence — although I was only his colleague, not his family."

Then again, Snakeblink is easily haunted by the past; he has spent every day, every moon, every season since the death of his first sibling nursing the hurt of each subsequent loss, the same way he might prod the hole left by a missing tooth. What would he have wanted to hear, back when the pain was freshest?

"Losing a parent is a pain like few others, but perhaps you will find some solace in knowing he is not entirely gone — you take so much after him, I could almost be fooled into thinking he never died at all. Especially when you are snapping at me," he adds with a grimacing smile. ​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely​

ooc. information.

• 
  
  
  — Snakeblink • he / him. 57 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  

​

 

[BEEFANG]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ — Her whiskers twitch as she falls silently entirely to listen to the words that begin to slip from the jaws of the lead warrior and one of her ears flick to the side as her lone eye focuses onto him trying to read his expression with every word that drops from his mouth. Beefang can't help the way her mouth twitches slightly from the amusement that she feels when he mentions that Hazecloud is a lot sharper tongued than she is and honestly, the black smoke believes that without needing to see it... It isn't a secret that the blue smoke doesn't hold a fondness towards the lead warrior that has been on the council for several moons but has managed to befriend Lichenstar with ease. Perhaps, the rest of the clan and council is fortunate that they don't recieve those tongue lashings from the deputy herself but Beefang keeps that to herself as she gives a small nod "Well, that's a relief... I always considered myself very snappy." She admits with a flick of her feathery tail and sweeps them over her paws, "I'm not exactly the most friendliest or warmest Riverclanner." A reason why she lacked friends to begin with and it comes off as a surprise to her when those that consider her a friend dare to get close enough.

He talks about how it's good that apprentices and warriors know that they're not above repproach to which she nods to, she could see what he means about that and can't help the chuckle that slips from her maw when he admits that he's glad that she hadn't called him a toadbrain in front of Splashdance and Pebblepaw. "Right... Although, I might be tempted the next time you decided to go on about some crazy ghost tales again." She says in a lightly teasing voice as she blinks her amber eye at him only to fall silent once more to listen to his words carefully especially at the mention of Smokestar do her ears tilt forward in an attentive manner, how her father had embodied the soul of Riverclan and she truly believes this as she nods silently in agreement. It had truly left a void in their souls especially his own kin and friends when he had fallen victim to the gorge losing all of his starblessed gifts while saving Lichenstar to ensure that she lived.

As he speaks once more, Beefang's lone eye starts to widen when he admits that he feels that Smokestar isn't entirely gone because she takes so much after him and how he could be fooled that the charcoal toned tomcat had never died because of her presence alone. "Especially when you are snapping at me." He seems to add with a grimacing smile and it causes her to become completely speechless unsure of what to say to that in the moment, she doesn't know if she should be honored by this information that she reminds the older tom of his old colleague or offended. Her jaw clenches as she tries to figure out what her next words will be but they part and close as if she's a fish out of water, Beefang can't seem to grab at any of the thoughts in her mind.

After what feels like a long moment of silence, Bee's single eye seems to narrow in the slightest and she rolls her shoulders slightly to brush off the awkwardness that she felt during her silence. "You're toadbrained." She says at last though her voice lacks any of its usual sharpness and there's a sudden stinging feeling in her lone eye, her ears pressing flat against her skull as these sudden emotions hold onto her tightly and a pathetic sniffle leaves her as a few fat tears roll down her face. "Y-y-you are... so... toadbrained." A snowy paw lifts to begin hastily wiping away the tears that have already begun to run down her face and another sniffle leaves her, a hoarse laugh leaving her as she tries to process all these overwhelming emotions. She hates that Snakeblink sees her at her worst unable to hold herself together only a few of her clanmates had ever seen her in this state, she tries to hold up an appearance for so long.

The black smoke manages to calm down slightly as she uses her snowy dipped paw to wipe away the leftover tears and a shaky breath slips from her mouth, she shakes her head a little not knowing what else she could say. She finds herself unable to say much more and she feels dumb about it being this emotional and pent up. "Sorry..." Beefang mumbles trying to stifle another sniffle knowing that Snakeblink probably felt uncomfortable that she's crying out of all cats in front of him and for a heartbeat, she feels nasty for it even as another shaky breath slips from her jaws, "'m sorry..."

DROWN IN YOUR SORROW AND FEARS ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ CHOKE ON YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEARS

• ooc —

• 

  WARRIOR SKILLSET;
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧ HUNTING
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧ TRACKING
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧ COMBAT
  — ✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧ STEALTH
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧ STRATEGY
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦ SWIMMING
  — ✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧ CLIMBING
• 
  ✦ a shorthaired black smoke molly w/low white and a singular amber eye
  ✦ oftentimes comes off as untrusting of those around her, closed off, and not the easiest to engage in conversation with, she's not easy to befriend. distrusting of outsiders and will snap at you if y/c walks up to her on her blind side. all her opinions are IC only.
  ✦ 15 moons old; ages the 10th every month
  ✦ asexual homoromantic; mated to moonbeam
  ✦ currently mentoring... roepaw ; formerly mentored by smokestar
  ✦ firstborn daughter of cicadastar and smokestar
  ✦ sister of cicadaflight and loveburn
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

At first it seems that he has managed to smooth things over. As prickly as Beefang may be, she is not made of ice, and her voice takes a teasing lilt as she tells him further ghost stories might see him earn his toadbrain title after all. But he doesn't stop talking, damn him; he's never learned when to shut up. Her silence goes on and on and his spine stiffens as it goes, ears pinning back as he waits with bated breath for her to speak again. And then she does and her voice cracks, her lone eye mists over with tears, and absolute panic shoots through Snakeblink.

Screams and insults and jokes he can manage, but he has no idea what to do with someone who's crying. Especially not strong-headed, stoic Beefang: it's such a shock to see the first tear roll down her dark cheek that he freezes and doesn't react for a few good minutes.

"Oh, no," he mutters in spite of himself, grimacing fiercely. He's a fool, a damn fool. What a grand idea to mention her dead father and compare her to him! What is he supposed to do? Comfort her? Does she even want him to? She doesn't seem the kind to welcome it. Snakeblink awkwardly lifts a paw, thinks better of it, and eventually shuffles a little closer to sit next to her and wrap his thin tail around her back. She sniffles a moment, quickly getting herself under control while he stares ahead and wonders what his mother would have done in this situation. Hugged him, maybe? It's been so long, he cannot quite remember. "I, ah, I see the temptation to call me toadbrained was too strong after all," he says hesitantly, a paltry attempt at lightening the mood.

Her mumbled words have him sighing deeply. He lowers his head and throws her a sideway glance, mouth downturned and ears flattened--embarrassed, annoyed at himself. "Stars, Beefang, do not apologize. Especially not to me; I am only a toad, saying toad things. Foolish words." And an inveterate fool, at that, because he cannot stop himself from adding: "He would be proud of you. He was. That is all I meant to say."​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely​

ooc. information.

• 
  
  
  — Snakeblink • he / him. 60 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  

​