sands on the horizon | figfeather

[Howlfire]

Above them, a songbird sings its sweet song. A failed catch from earlier in the afternoon has dulled Howlfire's desire to hunt, so she does not consider attempting to hunt it. Besides she did have a rather tasty looking squirrel tucked away that would surely make a fine meal back in camp. Instead, she lifts her head, appreciating the sweet melody with a smile, before the songbird takes flight and its music disappears among the trees. Soft rustling beside her alerts Howlfire to Figfeather's arrival, and she looks over her shoulder to see the ginger she-cat padding up beside her. "Sorry," Howlfire mewed, apologising for both darting ahead and failing to catch the mouse earlier.

After her apology was offered, Howlfire suggested they carry on ahead, heading towards the Tallpine to see if they could find anything else before heading home. As they walk, Howlfire once again feels slightly apologetic. "I shouldn't have missed the mouse, I'm sorry," She mewed, bowing her head briefly as she talked. "I've been a little distracted as of late." It feels oddly strange to confess that. Surely, Howlfire, now free from training apprentices would have little to worry about. "Can I ask you a question?" Howlfire asks after a moment, slowing her pace to look at Figfeather earnestly. "Please don't take offence. You and Fantastream...when did you know things were changing between you?"

@FIGFEATHER ​

 

[FIGFEATHER]

Emerging from the scarce undergrowth her ear flicks to Howlfire’s apology. She shrugs, ”No cat can catch them all.” Not even the greatest of hunters caught every morsel they pounced after. ”Leaf-fall might be upon us but there will still be plenty more to catch.” With StarClan’s blessing anyways…

She opens her maw and tastes the air, taking in the cool and crisp scents around her. Aside from the chilling of the wind and the colder nights, there was little signs of leaf-fall on SkyClan territory. Unlike other clans, their trees were evergreen and unchanging. The green pigment in the nettles unwavering and resilient, just like the cats who sheltered beneath them.

Howlfire suggests they make their way to Tallpine, Figfeather concurs with a dip of her head. The two she-cats make their way through the forest, their paws who had transverse this territory their entire lives knew every nook and cranny, every twist and turn, every shortcut you could take. It feels nice to walk side-by-side with a warrior she had grown up with. A pawful of moons apart, sure, but there was little they both had experienced that the other has not. Save for Butterflytuft who Figfeather knew like her own mind, and maybe Greeneyes; Howlfire knew Figfeather better than most any cat in SkyClan.

The torbie apologizes again, Figfeather gives her a teasing look. Was she really that bothered about missing the mouse? She can’t get a word of assurance out before Howlfire confesses she’s been distracted. Figfeather brushes her tail against her friend’s flank, a silent ’I’m listening.’ That was at least one thing she was good at- kinda- listening. Figfeather was not a good friend for comforting words or solid emotional advice, but she could be there.

It’s when Howlfire asks for permission to ask a question that she gets nervous. When Figfeather starts speaking- sharing anything akin to advice or support it usually does not go well. Her whiskers twitch uncomfortably but she reluctantly nods permissively.

Fantastream. Her ex-mate who she had been separated with for several moons now. Figfeather’s heart still aches from time to time for what they once had. They had been intertwined at the tail for so long… Figfeather would never forget the fond, beautiful memories they shared. But it was over now, gone like the warmth and comforts of green-leaf. The once rapid flowing of her grief now slowed into an occasional pitter-patter, a drop here and there only on lonely nights. What they had turned foul, a flower that had withered and would never bloom again. Nurturing it would’ve only brought more frustration and sorrow, it only would’ve encouraged wasted time.

Figfeather cannot point out what had happened that had been their last straw, but she knows how she had felt. ”I knew when we didn’t enjoy our time together anymore. Even when we had time alone it was filled with tension and arguments- both large and petty.” She confesses, knowing she had contributed greatly to them. ”We didn’t laugh together anymore. We didn’t sit beside each other or share prey. It didn’t feel like we were even friends anymore- let alone mates.” It had been a difficult thing to go through. Figfeather’s heart had never felt so torn and it had hurt in a way she’d never felt before.

She realizes in her explanation that there must be a reason Howlfire asks this. Figfeather stops in her tracks and looks to her friend with concern. ”Why do you ask? Is everything okay?”

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[Howlfire]

She is quietly relieved when the other does not dismiss her asking a question, nor begrudge her mentioning Fantastream. Her friend, instead, flicked a tail briefly over against her flank, and gave her a silent expression that seemed to say she was listening. Howlfire in turn listens as Figfeather responds.

For a moment, though, she thinks she overstepped with her question, regardless of Figfeather's permission. She is surprised by Figfeather's admission of how the time spent together began to feel unenjoyable, and how their interactions seemed to become increasingly tense. "It was such a shock when I heard you two weren't mates anymore," Howlfire confessed quietly. It had caught her off guard somewhat, knowing they were mates one day, and the next hearing they had drifted apart. Howlfire had tried her best to keep up with things but was also aware her mind had constantly been preoccupied with the wellbeing of her kits.

When Figfeather stops to ask if everything was alright, Howlfire stopped too. "I don't know..." Howlfire shrugged, not knowing what else to say. "I care for Coyotecrest deeply, I always will, but he just seems so distant as of late. There are times in the recent weeks when I really could have done with his support or gentle words but he just isn't there." She thinks sadly of the shock of hearing of Moonwhisper's death and then the joy of celebrating her children becoming warriors. "He seems changed since Wolfpaw disappeared," Howlfire continues, her brow furrowing. "I don't know if this wedge between us is because neither of us know what to say, or if he can't look at me properly because he couldn't bring her home." She wonders if maybe subconsciously she blames him for not finding her too. Or his rash judgement in leaving for days in that failed quest. Or perhaps it is she distancing herself from him?​

 

[FIGFEATHER]

As Howlfire was shocked to hear of her and Fantastream’s quarreling, Figfeather was taken back to hear Coyotecrest and her were struggling. Figfeather feels guilty in this moment, self-aware that she has done what Coyotecrest is doing and drifted away from the ones she loves. She doesn’t know why she does it, does he?

Figfeather shakes her head when Howlfire wonders out loud if he blames her for the disappearance of Wolfpaw. ”He doesn’t- he can’t. That wouldn’t be fair of him.” Wolfpaw’s disappearance had been no ones fault. Twolegs and their ability to trap and swoop up cats was impossible to predict, impossible to protect against. Wolfpaw was the victim of being unlucky, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. ”That’s not your fault.” She assures once more to be certain her friend knew this.

Figfeather wishes she had strong advice for Howlfire, but she feels she is the last cat capable of providing good advice. ”…What do you think you’re going to do? Have you spoken to him about this?” Figfeather would not speak it out loud but she wonders if Howlfire is contemplating a split. Had it gotten just as bad as the drift that had formed between Fantastream and herself?

​

 

[Howlfire]

"I know, I know...." Howlfire muttered softly, as Figfeather insisted it was neither of their faults. She's right, of course - even Howlfire knows that. And yet, she can't help but see things differently in her mind. Perhaps that's her curse after everything her children endured. "I know neither of us are to blame really, but sometimes I run over that memory in my head," Howlfire explained, looking away at some distant spot. She's seeing the moment her daughter was captured again clearly in her mind. "I ask myself 'what if?' a lot. What if we'd done more? What if we hadn't been talking, would we have noticed the twolegs sooner? What if we didn't search hard enough? Did we prepare our kits properly?"

Feeling that she's rambling too much, she stops talking, flicking her gaze to Figfeather to hear her ask what she's going to do. "Hard to talk to someone when they don't seem to be there to talk," Howlfire says with a mirthless laugh. She doubts Coyotecrest is doing it on purpose. Certainly, there are times when they have small conversations still, but when she needed him most he always seemed to be distant or hard to find. "I don't know...maybe we need a break? I love him, and I always will...but I need him and he's not here." She's a big lover at heart, cleaving herself onto those she held dear, so it hurt all the more when she couldn't reach them.​

 

[FIGFEATHER]

Figfeather sympathizes and shows this through giving her a friend a comforting lick behind the ears. Quarrels like these were never easy and when two cats who were once as close that could be split apart it was difficult to find yourself again. She knows whatever Howlfire does she’ll make it through it, she shares blood with Blazestar after all.

”Whatever you decide to do just make sure its what’s best for you.” She meows. Even if it meant a break, no break… or the worst for her mateship with Coyotecrest.

Figfeather figures it’d do Howlfire some good to have a distraction. The sound of birdsong increases the closer they get to the Tallpine, there will be something for them to hunt there. ”Last cat to catch a bird is crowfood!” She exclaims with a hushed smirk before darting forward in hopes of refocusing Howlfire’s mind on something more fun.

//Im okay with ending this thread here if you are :D

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