she tears me to pieces & confession

Between the medicine cat meeting, between the hawk attacks, between Pollen coming back half dead, Honey finally realizes how much the girl means to her. She could have lost her, its a terrifying thought, one that chills her to the bone. If she had not been in camp that day, could Pollen have bled out, alone and guilty? Honey scrunches her muzzle up, ears flattening. She never thought she'd love another after Tugger. After Starclan had so violently ripped her away, leading her to a clan of brutes, giving birth to children alone and afraid.

Pollen is a diamond in the rough. Shes gentle, shes whimsical, shes everything Honey wants and more. Pollen makes her feel more like Honey, less like Fritter, grounding, a gentle tone, a face that she yearns to look in to after a rough time.

There are flowers held taught in her jaws, lavender, her signature flowers, the ones she decorates her den with, the ones that she associates Pollen with, a gentle scent, strong, beautiful. She approaches @POLLENFUR with her heart beating fast- there are so many words she wants to say as she drops the flowers at the other womans paws, all of the words catch in her throat as she stares in to the face of the cat whom she wanted nothing but to lay next to.

"Pollen, chérie," she begins and it just now hits her that she feels like a young cat in love, all over again. She suppresses a giggle of anxiety, ears slightly flattening against her skull. "I could have lost you." a breath as she moves to try to press her forehead in to Pollens chest. She thinks back to the time of them joining. What brings anyone here? The wind, the sun? We move just as dust does on the wind. Its her words that bring comfort to her, the remembrance brings a fuzzy feeling in her chest. "You bring me to life. The sun, the sun to my moon," her voice quakes, she hopes shes not misreading the signals. "Please... please stay by my side. Pollen, I-" she pulls back and tears prick the corners of her eyes as she smiles. "I love you." so many words left unsaid, she wants to go off about how the others eyes sparkle when she talks, how the gentle smiles make her heart flutter within her chest.

Pollen is all she wants, and if it meant roping Starclan down from the sky and fighting them herself then she would oh so gladly do it in the name of her.
╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

The hawk attack, her poor apprentice falling from the heavens and cracking like ice beneath heavy paws -- the chocolate calico is haunted. She does her best to push herself to her paws, limp about camp and avoid tearing her wound open again, but she can't sit still. Her paws are itching, and they are speaking to her in whispers.

Run, they say, soft as the feathers on the hawk that had struck her patrol down. Run from this place like you're on fire.

She's been tempted for moons. Her heart yearns for the moors as they had been, empty of all life, a place she could traverse with her head half in dreams, feet aimless. As they are now, crowded and ruled by cats who guarded the land with their lives as though they'd been born of it...

Pollenfur aches to leave. She's been thinking of her mother, of how defeated and tired Rose had looked when she'd left her daughters alone. She feels that way now. She wants to follow in Rose's pawsteps again. Mallowlark and Echolight are grown, warriors of WindClan, and her sisters have become such too.

Is she that? A warrior of WindClan? Is she truly?

Part of her wants to escape the tyranny she perceives WindClan to be, but part of her wants to run from the mess she's made. A young girl who relied on her, hurt. The girl's mother, a cat she cares for so deeply, her only real friend, working to put her back together, to heal the damage Pollenfur has caused.

Honeytwist approaches her tentatively, pale purple twists of stem and petal in her jaws. Her eyes flash with meaning, limpid pools of gold and blue, a sunlit sky in greenleaf. "I could have lost you."

Pollenfur exhales. "Never," she says, and part of her isn't lying. Even if she leaves WindClan, she will always love Honeytwist. She will always have a part of her here, with the WindClan medicine cat, a part she will never get back. A part she doesn't want back.

Honeytwist's words cause Pollenfur's lower jaw to tremble. "You are so important to me," she murmurs, tears glazing her amber eyes. "What I wouldn't do for you... what I wouldn't try to do." She bows her head. "I'd give you so much more, had I the power. But I'm just a foolish little cat in this big, empty world. But I love you. It's not enough, but I love you, too."

She closes her eyes as Honeytwist presses against her chest. The other's scent, warm and redolent with nectar, crisp with fresh herbs, passes through her nose and coils through her body like smoke. "I love you," she repeats, and again, all she can think is how could I leave you?

- ,,

]Love was not exactly something Sunsetpaw ever had experienced. She was still young so maybe that time would come eventually but in truth she was not entierly sure she wanted that day to come. It made it even worse to wittness Honeytwist confess thier love to Pollenfur right in front of thier very eyes. None of them were cats she was specially fond of. Both of them had multiply times opposed Sootstar, to talk bad and ill about her. The lack of respect they had for thier leader was insulting. Both of them should found themself lucky to still be allowed to stay here and not banished into exile. So she guess this two deserved each other. Sunsetpaw wouldn't necessery say she was happy for the two of them though but it was not like she was against it either. What they did in the end had little interest to them. So they keept thier distance from the two allowing them to be all 'lovey-dovey' to each other in peace. No need to ruin thier happy moment, that simply was not thier style.


Love is... something Lemonpaw doesn't quite understand, just yet.

He loves his mother. Loves his siblings. Would do anything for them. But... the thought of loving someone else? Potentially more than he loves his family? He's not so sure about that.

However, as the tom spends more time in the medicine den - a result of the hawk attacks, of wanting to stick by his mother's side, his injured sister's side - he's noticed the closeness between Honeytwist and Pollenfur. It's a realization that doesn't take long for him.

Honeytwist loves Pollenfur.

Pollenfur loves Honeytwist.

So, what does that mean for Lemonpaw, then? Would he have two moms, now? Rather than one? Has he gained a new family member that, by extension, he's meant to love too? He's not sure, but Pollenfur was good. He liked Pollenfur. The tortoiseshell was Melonpaw's mentor, so she'd already had a paw within their family. The moment they finally confess to each other, the rest of her paws followed. A new family member, indeed.

He's busy watching over Melonpaw when he overhears it. His mother - mothers? - exchanging their first 'I love you's. Finally.

And yet he scrunches a flattened muzzle at them as he looks in their direction.

"Gross," The apprentice teases, sticking his tongue out at them, despite the happiness he feels for the duo. A moment of deserved happiness.
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  • Love
Reactions: Marquette

How nice- love was a lovely thing, though not something Mallowlark had seen much in its romantic form. Since they'd joined, their sprawling pack showing up at WindClan's border, there had been something static-spark in the air between Pollenfur and Honeytwist, their stares noticeable and their sugared language unlike anything the large white tom had ever seen. It was lovely! From where he sat he watched the exchange out of the corner of his wide eyes, pupils snapping toward them as they inched closer, nuzzled.

Nearby Lemonpaw spoke up, and clockwork-quick his attention snapped toward the younger tom. Ah- that was his mother, wasn't it? And Mallowlark's aunt. Getting to unsteady paws (and hopefully leaving behind that inexplicable ache that gnawed at his ribs), the grinning phantom tippled over, looking down over Lemonpaw and Melonpaw with a friendly-in-intention grin that overtook his entire face, yet left his eyes devoid of gleam or humoured curve. "Guess we're family now, huh?" he chimed, sing-song voice thrumming with thrill that likely came more across as some sort of threat, given his expression.

He really was happy, though! Mostly. Whatever that other feeling was- he hadn't a word for it.