SHRINE OF YOUR LIES / disappearance


the giggle at a funeral
Dec 17, 2023
Snowypaw's absence had left a jagged hole in Shadepaw. He could cling to Bonepaw and Bloodpaw like they were a branch to safety while he was being swept away by a furious tide, but they could only give him that lifeline. He already knew they could not fill the void. The night prior, Shadepaw had turned over, ready to poke Snowypaw awake with a question. There had been no night-black form there, just an empty nest. It was hard to believe it hadn't been weeks already. It was hard to believe that every week on would be similar.

Of course Shadepaw would be one of the first to notice Snowypaw's absence. It would look strange if he didn't. It would look suspicious. They didn't always train together, but inevitably he would end up bumping into all of his littermates throughout the day. He could assume that they were just running on different schedules, but they would have checked in after the gathering, too. In the morning light, he could feel his lungs tightening as he looked over the apprentices' den.

He exited casually and swept through the camp, checking the nursery, the elders' den- places she could have been, places he would have normally checked had he been looking for his white-freckled sister so he could pester her. When he couldn't find Snowypaw, he paused in the middle of camp, casting one final glance over it. Then, with a voice carefully tuned to be more curious than concerned, he turned to the nearest cat and asked, "Um, have you seen Snowypaw?"

He knew the answer to the question, and yet he hoped it was wrong all the same.

[ just to be clear, rae gave me permission to put this thread up! goodbye snowypaw, have fun in riverclan ]
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She notices a familiar tabby face peeking into the nursery—it’s Shadepaw, one of Ferndance’s and Needledrift’s older kits, and he claims to be looking for Snowypaw. She yawns, showing a brilliant display of milk-white kitten teeth and unleashing a fiery plume of white-hot kitten breath. She follows him out of the nursery, blinking sleep from round green eyes. “Snowypaw’s gone?” She asked, frowning. She doesn’t keep tabs on the older cats—it’s not really her job—but curiosity sharpens her moss-colored gaze. Shadepaw doesn’t seem worried, though—just like he is trying to find her and doesn’t know where she’s gone.

Helpfully, Marblekit sits beside him, prodding him with a paw. “I’m sure she’s just on patrol, probably,” she mewls in what she hopes is a sympathetic, understanding voice. She’d be worried if she didn’t know where Sycamorekit is—but Sycamorekit is still in the nursery, and Shadepaw’s sister is almost grown, with duties of her own to tend to.

  • ooc:
  • pcAn1D5.jpeg
  • Marblekit, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
    — “speech”, thoughts, attack
    — 4 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
    — mentored by n/a ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
    — shadowclan kit, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
    — currently mated to n/a.
    — penned by Marquette.

    sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.

Stars. The sorts of things that, have you seen so - and - so lately? often lead to were never pretty. You usually didn't ask that if said so - and - so is on patrol, or having a nice nap in their den, or grooming themselves, or enjoying a meal. usually, it was more like, oops! WindClan warriors took so - and - so, or aw man, so - and - so decided they needed to have a walk, and is now dead in a ditch somewhere! She thinks she's quite justified in stressing out right away. They'd probably call her crazy, but what else is new? And who was they anyway? Someone! Anyone, really! " Shhhh... oot, " the curse dies on her tongue with the innocent mew of Marblekit. Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Her head swings around the clearing, eyes stretched into scared, ugly moons. " S-someone— find Fleabounce or Ferndance or someone. Who last saw her? Chilledstar! " Part of doing better was giving a damn. Giving a damn so that more cats wouldn't go missing, thinking, they won't care anyways. That's more important than finding then, more important then stopping them on their way out. They needed to show that they would regret it. This damned Clan. They needed patrols. He feels like he's in the way, even as he leaves ot do what's right. But he's not, he reminds himself. It's for them. It's all for them.

// OOC: looking for @CHILLEDSTAR.
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"I haven't seen her since last sunrise." Nectarsong confirms, speckled brow furrowing with thought. Their short mental search ends abruptly with yesterday morning's patrols, which is concerning; Snowypaw is a creature of habit, bound to their mentor's scheduling, and usually they would have seen the bicolour apprentice at least once while sharing tongues before sleep. The mottled warrior exchanges a brief glance with Sharpshadow, one that's lined with a vague amusement over his self censoring in front of Marblekit, but as the lead warrior turns on a flea and goes to retrieve Chilledstar the warrior turns instead towards Shadepaw and Marblekit.

To the older of the two, they meow, "Where have you looked, Shadepaw? Perhaps she is taking a nap somewhere strange."


[ ༻❄༺ ] This was definitely something Snowpaw had not wish to hear, Snowypaw- the cat he shared a name with had gone missing, gone and a heavy sigh came from his lips as he approached the scene, some already providing to ask questions or suggestions to where her whereabouts might be but... his concern was, she was taken or attack that Snowypaw was dead in the marsh having been attacked by a predator or someone like Granitepelt, or a rogue or... his fur ruffled slightly while a heavy sigh came from his lips and a look of grimace appear on his face.

"Wherever she is, I hope she's alive" he stated a bit flatly with his words. They did not need to find another apprentice dead in the marshlands, another wasted potential to the clan all because they were foolish to go alone. Yellow eyes narrowed slightly the worrying thought of finding Snowypaw's lifeless body ringing in his mind, wondering how they were to tell Needledrift or even Ferndance. He was sure their reactions wouldn't be good. The last thought that crept in his mind was, what if she too had been taken by two-legs? Never to be seen again, like Magpiepaw or even Roosterstrut, there was too many factors at paws and Snowpaw just dug their claws into the mud. If patrols were assigned the toms would want to immediately be in one, for Snowypaw's sake.

  • "speak""Thoughts"
  • Snowpaw He/Him, apprentice of Shadowclan, 9 moons.
    Lithe long hair blue lynx sepia with high white, and yellow eyes. Stubby tail, permanent resting bitch face
    Hailfreckle x Mudsplash
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted (ask first) / / underline and tag when attacking
    see battle info here
    penned by Ryn@/Rynnaro on discord, feel free to dm for plots.


Gigglekit blinks rapidly with wide eyes when her older brother mentioned the lack of an appearance from Snowypaw, and she can't help but agree with everyone that's gathering around now, now that she thinks about it. When she isn't training, usually Snowypaw visits the nursery and hands out with Gigglekit and her brothers, and that hasn't happened yet today. It's odd, but Gigglekit doesn't think it's out of the ordinary until the older cats around her start worrying.

"Marblekit's right! She's prob'ly just on patrol, everyone." Gigglekit said as confidently as she can manage, but the stress radiating off of almost everyone else causes her voice to break slightly and she looks between Marblekit and Shadepaw. Surely Snowypaw was alright - after all, she was an apprentice, and apprentices were pretty capable! That's why they went out and trained everyday!

not again. this isn't happening again. it's not. it's not. they can feel their heart pounding their chest so loudly that it's rattling their ears. they can't breathe. they can't think. no. this isn't true. she's fine. she's fine. fuck. why can't they say anything? why can't they move? why can't they breathe!? this isn't happening again!! so many apprentices missing. kits going missing. dying. dying. dead. not alive. dying. everyone's dying. why us everyone dying? why does everyone always die here? is shadowclsn cursed? was this the way it would always be? gloomy and filled with hopelessness? their eyes are shrunk back and they can't think. they need to think. wake up, chilledstar. wake up. wake up! only, they're not sleeping. this wasn't some fucked up dream. snowypaw is missing. snowypaw was gone. when was the seen last? wake up, chilledstar! be a leader! snap out of it!

"when was she last seen? where is @fleabounce ? she can't have gone far if she left camp on her own which she shouldn't have been able to do. who was guarding the camp?"

they feel nauseous. they feel like a failure. how could this have happened again? under their watch. they can't... keep doing this, can they? can't starclan just please give them a break? one break. that's all they want.

———————---***ALL OF MY FEELINGS ARE GONE***———————---

  • black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
    46 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
    they / them pronouns
    aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking / looking
    child of JAGGED and RAVEN
    shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
    mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
    "speech", thoughts, attacking
    peaceful powerplay allowed
  • Sad
Peeking through half-lidded eyes, Thornpaw watched as Shadepaw's striped frame disappeared through the entrance, causing the blonde molly to sit upright in her own nest. Hmm. Probably best to get up. The majority of her denmates were already up and around. Pushing herself upright, the fluffy-pelted apprentice shook out her heavy coat, jowls smacking with a yawn as she padded from the apprentice's den.

Concerned voices piqued Thornpaw's interest further. Said commotion slowly lured the youth closer to the center of camp. Her face scrunched up in confusion and her tufted ears rose higher. She took in the panicked look on Chilledstar and Sharpshadow. This doesn't look good. Instinctively, Thornpaw navigated to the side of a familiar gray-splotched back. Listening as she looked over her friend's shoulders, absorbing the news with a furrowed brow, her stomach plummeting.


She hadn't seen Snowypaw in what felt like days but their doggy recollection knew it couldn't have been that long ago, could it? Snowpaw's hollow statement earned him a concerned glance from the chimera. The kits' high-pitched mews also brought some food for thought, and Thornpaw did her best to push away the waves of uncertainty. She knew what it was like to feel that terror of loss and the disturbance of always looking over shoulders. Automatically, her needle-like claws sank into the soggy ground below as one cat crossed her mind. Granitepelt. If it weren't for the fact kittens were around, she would've spat out venomous curses for all to hear.

It has to be him. It has to be.

Squeezing her eyes shut, the youth willed her fury to a more bearable degree before looking to her leader. Question after question rolled, and it seemed no one had any answers. Shaking her barbary head, the cream-furred apprentice spoke up in a low tone. "We should start looking. I can check camp again." The lack of action was beginning to grate on her nerves, but she knew better than to act out towards her clanmates. Her display at the Windclan border a while back was one thing, but this was a whole new block of trouble.

When seconds turned into minutes, a familiar fallow shadow stumbled its way out of the warrior den, emerald eyes bleary against the light shining down upon them. The shouts for Chilledstar were enough to wake any warrior up, but instead of Sharpshadow, the cinnamon tabby's exhausted gaze settled upon Shadepaw, She said nothing to her child, couldn't, for the words caught in her throat like a prey bone the minute she tried to utter them. 'It worked.' A part of her had hoped it wouldn't, that Snowypaw would be found out and she wouldn't get to leave home - instead, ShadowClan apathy had struck again, acting only when it was too late to make a difference. Never before had she felt so grateful to the clan for the way that it was. She swallowed a budding lump in her throat and looked around, first to the adults, then to the apprentices - her gaze never met Gigglekit, it couldn't. "What... what's going on?" A confused frown settled upon Ferndance's maw, her heart beating so loud in her ears that she wanted to cover them. Her head tilted towards them as if doing her best to listen to the murmurs of clanmates without the heart to tell her what she already knew.

"Please... You're scaring me," she all but whispered, a rare timidness entering the mother's voice. She'd been like it when Bloodpaw got hurt, brought so close to tears that she had refused to let the clan get close to her - it was only after seeing her daughter that fear had turned to rage. More silence caused the whites of her eyes to show, her mouth so dry that she let her jaws hang in hopes of catching the moisture in ShadowClan's swampy air. Realisation hit her like a cuff to the ears, if Ferndance's fur could turn stark white, it would've in a heartbeat. She moved on instinct across the camp, looking more and more like a ghost as she broke out into a sprint. Should anyone meet her eyes, they would find the hollowness of someone who'd just been delivered bad news. "Bonepaw!" Ferndance cried for her son. "Bloodpaw!" Her daughter was safe and sound, sleeping in the apprentice den. "Snowypaw!" It would be the only call without an answer, no amount of pre-existing awareness could stop the sundering of a soul that lived to see her little ones shine. Ferndance blinked away tears, panic entering her voice. "Snowypaw?!"

Silence. She turned to her clanmates, grief-stricken. "My baby... where is my baby?"

  • Sad

It wasn't too uncommon that Lilacfur had to pry Shadepaw from Snowypaw's side at the start of their days for training. Her apprentice was very close with his littermates, perhaps bonded together even further than she had been with her own siblings. Except this time, Shadepaw is in search for one of them.

Lilacfur shared the same jaded expectation once questions followed for one's whereabouts. Rarely had one returned after the realization, the discovery, that they were gone. "Wasn't she at the gathering?" The lead murmured to her fellow councilman, recalling the last time she had seen the speckled molly. She was due for the morning patrol after, however, did she not show up for that?

Chilledstar's question caused her ears to go flat, but she doesn't shy away from answering. "I took over after we returned, but no one left camp. I'm sure of it." Could she have snuck out from behind one of the dens, as Singepaw and Bloodpaw had?

Ferndance's distraught cries send icy pikes straight through her heart. She curled a paw around Marblekit, forcing her breaths to remain even. She had no answer for Ferndance, nothing that would help.

*+:。.。 Duckshimmer couldn't - and wouldn't - say that she was a good mother. The truth was - she wasn't. Her own idiot son had managed to get himself into a heap of trouble under her guidance, so she had no room to judge Ferndance for her inadequacies. Still, the woman certainly wasn't doing herself any favors after losing one girl, now another. Duckshimmer couldn't say her irritation with the woman dissipated when she saw her leaving the warrior's den, quickly falling into a wreck once it dawned on her that her child was lost.
Snowypaw wasn't one of the youths Duckshimmer knew particularly well, but she had memories of the girl refusing to loosen her claw hold of the nursery when the time came to be apprenticed. Singepaw and Bloodpaw were rabble-rousers, their motivations clear when they'd fled camp - what did Snowypaw have to gain? Duckshimmer's mind flashed to the badger and fox sightings as of late, and suddenly her judgment of Ferndance finally vaporized.

Her attention flashes to Lilacfur, recalling herself seeing Snowypaw at the gathering. "Perhaps...perhaps she got separated on the way back home?" she meows, eyes narrowing, "Which means she must not have returned home at all" Her eyes flash towards Shadepaw and his siblings, irritation causing the fur along her spine to rise, "Did none of the apprentices notice one of their missing?" She wanted to hiss in disgust at their lack of action, but she quickly bit back the urge. Right now wasn't the time to scold children, although, finally shifting her gaze to Chilledstar, she hoped her leader understood that it wasn't their fault.

Padding forward, she would aim to brush against Chilledstar lightly, hoping to ground her leader at least, comfort them at best, but mostly coming closer to ask, "perhaps we should send a patrol to search for her? Start from the path we took to and from the gathering and work our way out?" she offered. Too many youths were losing their minds this moon - perhaps the bounty of frogs have made them all foolish? Either way, she had half a mind to end the life of the next idiot to break Chilledstar's clearly established laws. At this point, after everything they've learned, it was wholly on them if they died for their mistakes.

Periwinkle eyes shifted towards Ferndance, distraught mother as she is, before Duckshimmer quickly turned her attention away before her heart could squeeze any harder.

    DFAB— She/Her — Bisexual
    30 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
    Mother to Singepaw, Swallowpaw and Sneezepaw
    Shadowclan — Warrior

    Physically hard | mentally hard
    Attack in bold #ffa98f
    injuries: None currently
The response started out innocently enough, with Marblekit's little poke and gentle voice. "Just on patrol" was perfectly plausible. Shadepaw had asked a similar question before and gotten that answer, so he nodded, about to agree. Then Sharpshadow cut in, fur spiked up even more than usual. Shadepaw blinked, ears angled back. He had figured there would be more fumbling about, more lazy "I don't know"s, but Sharpshadow was on it. She had lived a life that the apprentice had not. "Um-" He began, looking around for the brown-furred warriors, but his attention was swept away to Nectarsong. "Um, the apprentices' den, the nursery, the elders' den." He paused, eyes starting to grow wide, feeding off the anxious energy that Sharpshadow had fostered. His breathing had a new ragged edge to it.

Snowpaw's flat comment hit his ears. "Don't- don't say that! Of course she's alive." He snapped, his voice's usual softness sliced off. Snowpaw had touched a nerve that Shadepaw hadn't known was exposed. He could claim Snowypaw was alive, like any frazzled cat with a missing sibling could, but truthfully he didn't know what had happened after the gathering.

Gigglekit's sweet, strained chirp made him shake it off. Poor Gigglekit, who wouldn't get to know the full story. He felt a flash of heat in his chest, accompanying the tightness. Chilledstar made it flare up worse, their panic proving the kits wrong. They would be one to know if she was out on patrol, wouldn't they? The clan had to find out some way, and if it hadn't been through Shadepaw's question, it would have been through someone else's. She just suddenly wished that it had been someone else's, that it wouldn't have looked odd otherwise, that she hadn't been the one to ask Snowypaw how she wanted her departure to go. I hope you're happy, Snowypaw.

The clan knew something was wrong, now. Comfreypaw, Nettlepaw, Sweetpaw, Magpiepaw- it was only natural to add another name to the list of apprentices dead or gone. Thornpaw spoke up, tension clear on her face. Then Ferndance appeared. Shadepaw's lungs stilled. She watched her mother's face shift, from the frown to the fear, ears finally flattening against her head as Ferndance frantically searched. It was a skilled performance but, at the same time, entirely real.

She took a shuddering breath in and stepped closer to Gigglekit, leg to her little sister's shoulder. She looked to Lilacfur, asking the vital question, and then to Duckshimmer, following up. The latter's pointed question made Shadepaw's tail lash. It wasn't Duckshimmer's fault that she didn't know, but to be blamed... she hadn't gone to the gathering, despite her easy ticket in with Lilacfur. She couldn't watch as Snowypaw left. "She wasn't in the den last night. A-After the gathering. I thought- I thought she was sleeping in the nursery." Her voice was small again. Guilty. In her role, she had finally grasped what the rest of the apprentices and warriors already had: either the marsh had closed its cold teeth around Snowypaw, or she had been snatched from it.

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If Starlingheart had any tears left to give she would shed them now. Another apprentice missing, another young cat that they have failed. How. How did this keep happening? The cries of Ferndance threaten to break her heart because she has been there before. Sick with worry and feeling like the world was going to end. Black fur and a pale face conjure an image in her mind. Her daughter, her beautiful daughter who still had not come home. She knows what it must be like for the queen who stood before them now, and it is not something she would wish upon any mother.

Already cats are beginning to show their concern, coming up with theories and pointing claws at one another as Duckshimmer was doing now when she accuses the apprentices of not noticing that one of their own was missing. Starlingheart's single eye closes, squeezed shut so that she may block out the thousands of possibilities racing in her mind. "She must-must not have made it home from the gathering..." she says, despair making her voice crack. How could no one have noticed? "I-I'll help. I-I can help. My nose- it's it's good for tracking" she had been tracking the scent of herbs since she was young, it would not be difficult to apply that skill to tracking a cat. Besides, she couldn't just sit here and do nothing when yet another young cat was missing. "Perhaps we should-we should go to the other clans" she suggests softly to Chilledstar "Ask if they've-if they've seen anything" Perhaps there had been a mix up at the gathering, and she was lost in some other territory, unknown to her. But if that were true, why wouldn't they have brought her back? Starlingheart doesn't want to think of the answers.

  • PSgWDJV.jpeg

  • 80989743_Y4EI15MsrzJWZG0.png
    A skinny she cat with short black and white fur littered with scars and one singular green eye.
    Easy in battle + has little to no formal battle training
it truly had not mattered what anyone thought. this was their fault. through and through, anything that happened to this clan was at fault of their own. they were the leader, and thus they must carry the burden. their gaze lowers to the ground as they think. think, chilledstar. last seem where? there doesn't seem to be an answer. they don't ever watch so closely to be sure that every single cat walks back through the entrance of the camp after a gathering but after tonight, that changes. they usually trust the mentors to be sure their apprentices have made it back. they don't do head counts, not put loud at least. subconsciously, sure, but seeing as they missed it this time, and now snowypaw was missing... ferndance looked distraught. they've never really seen her like that. for alm her goofy mannerisms, she did her best at being a mother. and now her daughter was missing.

they flinch slightly at the touch against their side. it's not that they were scared by it– the only thing they truly fear is feeling the pain of death yet again– they just weren't expecting it. they've fallen back down that rabbit hole again, and they truly didn't realize it. did duckshimmer? they don't really want to figure it out. they blink a few times before just pushing back into the cacoon of voidness.

"right. we will send out patrols. if we cannot find her against our borders, we will search elsewhere. and remember– trust no clan. they've lied before. they will lie now."

windclan was the most logical option, sure, but sunstar couldn't have been that stupid, could he have? stealing an apprentice after that disaster? not to mention, they probably barely had any food to feed with the fire's damage. but windclan is windclan and a good rule of thumb is to never trust a windclanner. even if they may seem nice.

———————---***ALL OF MY FEELINGS ARE GONE***———————---

  • black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
    46 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
    they / them pronouns
    aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking / looking
    child of JAGGED and RAVEN
    shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
    mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
    "speech", thoughts, attacking
    peaceful powerplay allowed
She pretends she doesn't see the brief glance Nectarsong flashes her before she goes. she can't afford to feel embarassed about stupid things right now, not right thing, when there was another, another missing apprentice. Snowpaw and Gigglekit both are passed by a grim - faced Sharpshadow on her way to Chilledstar. He's never related to the leader quite as much as he felt — maybe stupidly, that he could right now. Panic is wrought at once. Panic, exhasperation, exhaustion. Why, StarClan, why? The truth is, she stopped asking StarClan anything a long time ago.

A quick nod is sent Thornpaw's way. Appreciated, of course. Show that you appreciate them. Show everyone you appreciate them. Sharpshadow looks around at all those gathered, kits, apprentices, warriors alike. Maybe she didn't say it enough, bu they all mattered.

She and Ferndance didn't see eye to e ye. Practically... never. No, never. But as she cries a mother's tears, Sharpshadow feels bad. Like this is her fault. LIke something wouldn't have happened if she just looked listened, paid attention, said more than um and what " W-we... " and even here, she stumbles. She stumbles because she can't tell Ferndance anything. She can't promise her anything.

Lilacfur appears, and Sharpshadow stumbles over an answer. Now that she mentioned it... " Yeah— Yeah she was. " Between Duckshimmer and Shadepaw, a certain picture is being painted. She never came home. What's worse, being lost in the death trap that was ShadowClan's territory, or potentially being lost... anywhere in the entire damn forest? He's sure his face is only getting more and more harrowed with every revelation.. The echo of shitshitshit, is stuck in his head like a song.

" I'll go, " he says, and he feels like an idiot straight away. Of course he will. Some fucking how, he's a Lead Warrior. But isn't okay for him to care? He isn't sure anymore. A heavy sigh leaves him with Chilledstar's word, elsewhere. Their favorite neighbors immediately come to mind...

" A kit— A kit forgets things. A kit can be r-retaught. " He mumbles, a frown angled maybe too - obviously at Marblekit and gigglekit both. " But an apprentice? Wh-who would...? Unless it was... " Granitepelt. SIltcloud. Their motives are revenge only. Surely they couldn't have been out and about, with so many cats present...