sensitive topics Sorrowful Goodbyes // Twilightfall


They Will Be a Legacy!
Jun 7, 2022

Dull green eyes looked blankly into the distance. Looking through the walls of camp into the forest that seemed so desolate now. So empty, cold and unwelcoming. So much has happened. Such little time taken from them as they laid there in the midst of a pine trees root. Cinnamon fur was dull and unkept, matted almost in a way and they appeared skinnier than normal. Food was an afterthought, grooming wasn't even a thought at all. The young queen sat there silently with a dissative look to her gaze. Newly named Sandylights hadn't been taking thing so well since Sparkkits passing. Part of her was angry with Bonejaw, that she shouldn't have taken them so far from camp, but also part of her knew it was coming. The little brown tabby had always been so weak, so sick, and she didn't think they would've made it through the first day alive let alone the three moons it has been.

Still part of Sandylight felt like a failure. She let her kitten die. Allowed such a previous life go and didn't know if she would ever see them again, even if Starclan was real. It got her thinking about things. Like why she was still here, in Shadowclan. There was nothing here for her anymore. Granitekit, Siltkit and Twilightkit where old enough to fend for themselves, Flint was gone, Sootstar lead a clan now- nothing was going for her. She was stuck in a limbo of feeling so useless. Having kits was probably the most useful thing she has ever done and even then it felt- pointless. She was just some queen in a place she didn't belong in.

It made her think more and more about leaving Shadowclan. Going back to the twolegplace and finding her home again, return to her humans. Return to being Sandra who was important to her humans. Important to someone at least. A long, deep sigh came from the skinny she-cat and she looked down to the ground instead of out in the distance. It was a mistake to believe some tomcat wanted her. That Flint ever loved her, and it made her heart wrench. Sandylight had yet to tell her kits about their father, and she didn't know if she wanted to anymore. Some deep part of her wanted to get up right then and leave. Just leave it all behind and return to a life in which she felt loved and cared for.

Yet her paws remained on the marshy ground underpaw. Her body refused to get up and move, and she didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. Maybe her kits did need her? Granitekit though seemed to be the most independent one out of the three that where left. Siltkit was softer and Twilightkit- she wasn't sure what her daughter was. Sandylights looked down at her own paws, digging her claws into the dirt below, and gave a small sniffle. Maybe it was time to leave.
[ Love Thyself Before Loving Another ]
Twilightfall has officially joined the warriors again to mentor young Sagepaw, but she can't help but remain in the nursery at nights and early mornings with Sandylights and the kits. Especially now. After a day of training, she snatches a finch from the freshkill pile and pads to the sad-eyed cinnamon tabby who lurks outside the nursery's opening.

"Here, love. Eat this." She pushes the bird towards Sandylights. Her eyes are lit with concern. Once glossy tabby fur has gone dull, matted, and there's a listlessness and a depression to her friend that hadn't even been there after Flint's death.

But Twilightfall understands why, of course. Sandylights had watched her go through the same thing after the great battle, after Ash had been killed.

She settles beside the molly and begins to almost frantically groom her. "You should make plans for tomorrow. Perhaps you can come with me and Sagepaw... we'll be working on stalking. It'll be good for you to get out." Her tone is brisk. "Maybe we can ask Briarstar if you can mentor one of your kits. StarClan knows they're almost old enough!"