private speechless | honeytwist



She's not been herself since the incident. Doubt clouding her mind at every turn. Half of the hunts she knows she needs to help feed the clan have gone wrong she ends up empty pawed. It's a struggle for her to keep herself present, in the now as she traverses the marshes she has called home for such a long time. Her thoughts are muddled and vague as she allows her deaden gaze to wander over the landscape. What she sees she doesn't really take in and she sighs. Thinking about going back to camp right now tears at her heart and so she continues on along the thunderpath, gaze flicking over the smell blacktop. It's then that she smells something different and she focuses more on that, a pull into reality. Taking a step closer she slips across the Thunderpath, stopping to walk along the ditch before she sees the figure more clearly. "Honeytwist?" Her vocals sound out questioning, wondering why the other is so far from her camp. Surely Windclan's camp is not this close to the Thunderpath.

At the thought of Windclan she remembers her mistake, her folly. How she chose to seek help from Riverclan instead of coming to Windclan. Her legs shake and she takes in a shuddering breath before pulling her ears back against her skull. "What..why are you all the way out here?" An idea twists into her head for a moment and she looks down at her paws. Would she teach her something? Anything?



Honey's seething anger still remains even after she has departed from the clan to take care of Eventide, even after he gets some well deserved rest, even after she sets out to grab more herbs. Her fur bristles still and if her mouth wasn't full of flowers she'd be scowling. But then her name is called and her head snaps around as flowers tumble from her jaws. "What?" she'd snap with an angry gaze, half expecting to see Sootstar or one of her little posse.

It's not. It's Bonejaw, medicine cat of Shadowclan. She recognizes her from the gathering.

"Pardon, very stressful day." she breathes out and closes her eyes, making moves to gather up her flowers. "I'm taking care of a deathly looking child my clan tried to cast away. I'm not going back to camp for a couple of moonrises until he's better." she responds with bitterness to her question, though not directed at her. She's angry at her clan, angry at Hyacinthbreath, angry at Sootstar, angry at Duskfire for not even doing anything.

"What brings you out here?" she turns to look at the black pelted woman with tired eyes. "Is something wrong in Shadowclan?"
The sudden aggressive snap makes her eyes blink a couple of times, she isn't expecting something like that. Her jaw parts to say as much but then the woman recognizes who she is and she explains herself. The frown that pulls along her muzzle at what she tells her shows and she understands. Especially if she has to deal with Sootstar, anyone probably not of Windclan is most likely not welcomed in her majesty's graces. "I hope the child makes a full recovery. And hopefully he can find greener pastures." Her words are earnest and she genuinely wants the success of the other. But it also reminds her of her own failure, how some cats of her own home despise her now and she looks away from the molly as she questions why she's here upon the border. It makes her heart ache and finally, finally she looks back up to Honeytwist. Pain is evident in her molten gaze before she finally releases the emotions that have been boiling over for a long while now. "I can't do this. I can't be a medicine cat. I don't understand why I was chosen when I know nothing about being a medicine cat. Nothing about healing save for stopping blood from a wound."

Her body is tense, sharp and shaking as she tries to keep the tears from her eyes. "A kit died because I was useless. I tried my hardest but I made a mistake. A mistake thinking that I would be able to save them. I ran to Riverclan, stupid, it was so stupid. Instead of coming here I ran there because I couldn't trust...." Her words clog her throat, all the emotions she's been feeling spilling out of her and the tears began to fall once again as she looks down at the ground, tail wrapped around her body. "They died because I was useless, I made a mistake....I can't be the medicine cat that Shadowclan needs..."


Greener pastures, Bonejaw says and it brings a scowl to her face once more. "He's staying with Windclan." she nods, more so a confirmation for herself than Bonejaw. She's tired of the children being cast away, so tired of it, so she'd fight for the ones that don't have a say. Fight for the ones who can't fight for themselves. Its been her duty since she was small, but now she does not need claws- she needs words and a passion to help.

But Bonejaw chokes up and her eyes immediately drift to her, somewhat awkwardly. Honey knew most of her stuff from being on the streets, trading shares with others when times were good and experimenting when needed. "Don't say that, chérie." she begins, taking her flowers up in her mouth once more. She looks back and forth, makes sure there would be no cats squashed today, and gingerly runs across the thunderpath. She does not care for borders, for she knew she had a divine right. Chosen by Starclan themselves, no one could stop her. She drops them as she reaches the other side.

She attempts to gently rub up against Bonejaw with sympathetic eyes, squinting them. "You will always be welcomed in Windclan. If you need me, I am just a cat away. Try to look for Dandelionpaw if you need to come in to Windclan, he's a very kindhearted cat, and more than likely will not tell Soot if you need just me." she speaks softly, heart aching for the sobbing woman. "You are not useless," she reassures, gently, with a small frown. "We were all thrust in to this so suddenly. It is not your fault."

And then awkward silence. "Do you want me to teach you a bit?" she asks as her eyes catch the flowers, pawing them over. "And you can have these when i'm done teaching you about them. So you know what they look like."