sensitive topics the truth that life is cruel ࿐࿔ return

[lichenstar]

✦˚.✦˚✦˚✦˚ ✧ ˚✦˚✦˚✦.˚✧

CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY ✧

• cw; thread will include mentions of death (specifically, the death of a mother), orphaned kits, grief, etc
  
  
  Every stride through the territory felt heavier than the last, the shifting of a gaze looking ahead but not really looking. Replaying the vision of the dark branches of tabby stripes, the way it looked so painfully still. The smell of failure.... the reek of mistakes. The disgusting selfishness of the living and the bristling fury of two leaders left to pick up the pieces. Hazecloud walks alongside her, equally burdened by this trip and with a knowledge that must be kept quiet... must be kept secret. It benefits no one... and these are the few pairs of lips she can trust not to split open just to drag an innocent's name through the mud.
  
  The ground is cold... damp... and the air is colder. Why did you choose now... so late at night? The answer is obvious... that it's easier to hide in the dark. Still, it makes her blood boil. You didn't have to choose this. Her gaze sharpens with clarity as the shapes of the night guards come into view- Pebbletail and Turtledove, ever faithfully standing their silent vigil.
  
  She cannot afford to greet them, with fur secured tightly between her teeth as a dark furred kit hangs from her maw. She slides past them, knowing that Moonbeam would not be far behind, aided in her efforts to bring the limp form of a queen whose final act had been foolish. Had been isolated. Had been far from home and the family that loved her. Away from the clan that had spent the last moon feeding her, keeping her comfortable.... excited to be apart of her journey as a mother, to play with her kits, babysit them. New queens and old who would've offered advice and laughed with her about their silly antics. Related to with memory of their own kittens.
  
  The reeds slip down scarred skin and ruffled fur as she moves past, turning towards the shrouded security of the nursery with a broken tail beckoning for her mate to follow. Claythorn is the next closest thing to a new queen... She could hold onto them, for now... could keep them fed, with the medicine cat's help hopefully...
  
  "Claythorn..." she gently rests the tiny bundle on the ground by her own paws, sidling close to wrap her tail close to try to keep it warm until she can be sure the queen consented to this arrangement. "I'm sorry to.... drop this on you...." She was sure there'd be questions...
• about
  
  speech hex code ✧ #6368A5
  
  ooc notes ✦ after the meeting the same night just before frecklepaw and mothpaw are found. no need to wait
  tagging ✶ @Moonbeam @robinheart @hazecloud @stormkit. @Ryekit @MOONKIT @claythorn
  penned by tieirlys
• ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚ .
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ . . ˚ ੈ✧˳·˖✶ ✦ ˚ ✦ . . ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ ​

 

[claythorn]

She is awake before the reeds rattle open, ears pressed backwards and eyes narrowed against the gloom. She is no Shadowclanner, but the scent of Lichenstar flattens any fear of enemy she had- but the scent of blood, of newborn kits, causes her ears to stay backwards regardless. Mismatched goldens shifted from Lichenstar, to an empty nest, long since cooled. She feels a stab of guilt then- wasn't it a queen's duty to look out for their own?

Claythorn bit down on her tongue as she looked back, tail covering her own kits to keep them hidden from what was going on. "... Don't tell me." She rumbles out, looking from Lichenstar to Hazecloud, then back. Her eyes plead quietly, the silent message unbidden on her tongue. She's dead. Vision shifted from Lichenstar to the kit covered by the leader's tail, then to the other two carried in by Hazecloud.

A swallow leaves her. A kit, abandoned now, would die. No other queen had any milk left, so Claythorn inhales slowly, then, "I don't have much left." She admits- her kits are nearly weaned in totality, all of them soon to begin swimming. Her kits. They'd have to share a nest with the unfamiliar kits, kits who cried and mewled and interrupted sleep all over again. She feels a weight settle across her shoulders, responsibility- one that no one else can take. Responsibility given because of a dead queen's selfishness.

She lifts her tail then, moving her nose to nudge her own kits aside to make space. They'd only need part of her belly, but it was warm and there was food and Claythorn knew that's what mattered. "Where was she?" Claythorn finally asks as she looks up, waiting for the new lives to find her stomach.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ┌── THOSE FIVES WORDS IN MY HEAD ⋅❁⋅ YOU SAID ILL NEVER LET YOU GO! ──┐‎

• "speech"

• 

• CLAYTHORN she/her, queen of riverclan, sixteen moons.
  ⭃ LH chocolate torbie with mismatched golden eyes, scars across her right cheek and over her left ear. cold exterior and threatening glares, built for stamina/battle and not swimming (tall/muscled)
  ⭃ mentored by darkbranch (npc) / / mentoring no one
  ⭃ mated to otterbite / / mother to dark-kit, onyxkit, sparrowkit, eelkit, dropletkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by dallas ↛ dallasofnines on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

​

 

[robinheart]

She is numbed not by the chill of leaf fall nights but by the weight of loss shared between herself and Moonbeam. This is all a bad dream. It has to be. Robinheart will awaken soon to the warmth of her children surrounding her, the melodic voice of Gladefrost greeting her, the joyous laughter of Claythorn's kits…

But it's not a dream.

Her children slumber alone in their nest. Claythorn's kits groan and grumble as they are slightly displaced to make room for orphaned kits.

Gladefrost will never raise her kits. She'll never speak with Robinheart again. They must share a friendship stretched between heaven and earth - placed there by selfishness only hinted at in their previous conversations.

Through the numb realization sits a greater weight of guilt. Robinheart should have pressed harder in their conversations to understand Gladefrost's situation. Robinheart should have kept a closer eye on her best friend. Robinheart should have accompanied the heavily pregnant queen to dirtplace instead of trusting her to go and come right back.

She failed her role as not only a queen but also a best friend.

Robinheart slips past parting reeds in awkward stride with Moonbeam. Her citrine gaze is vacant as her leader and deputy make way for the nursery, newborns held safely in their maws. She will return to the nursery herself in time… a changed queen, saddened and imbittered by circumstance. Robinheart cannot even feel an inkling of pride for being trusted by Lichenstar to carry the knowledge and figure of Gladefrost home from where she had kitted. All she feels is the loss and betrayal of her best friend… her sister by choice.

"I will help with her vigil," Robinheart murmurs to Moonbeam, one last act of devotion to the chocolate queen who leaves behind children who will only know her in tales.

A story that hits much too close to home for the tortoiseshell queen.​

[ penned by kerms ]​

 

[willowroot]

( ☾ ) restlessness plagues the molly, propelling her body upwards. slender paws step carefully over the slumbering body of her mate, picking delicately through the softly snoring warriors who inhabit the den until she reaches the exit. with one last glance back at poppyfrost's quiet form, willowroot slips from the den, rolling out her shoulders as she enters the clearing. her gaze adjusts to the light of the moon, green eyes finding several figures slipping through the parted reeds, squeaking bundles in their mouths. concern prickles at the smoke's thick fur, and she begins to move towards the figures, recognizing now lichenstar, moonbeam, hazecloud, and robinheart. "lichenstar, what..?" wind filters through the branches of the great arching willows as realization stings the warrior, horror dawning on her face. the night guards look similarly horrified, pebbletail's face aghast with sorrow. willowroot slips into the nursery after her leader, heart breaking

gladefrost is not there, as she'd guessed, and her theory is confirmed. three bundles are placed at the belly of claythorn, who murmurs worriedly about her milk supply. green eyes find the river blues of lichenstar, questioning. "please tell me if there's anything i can do," she implores the leader, and knows that the woman will come to her in time. she is the most experienced queen in the clan, with her two litters. hazecloud cannot possibly adopt another brood, and claythorn looks terrified at the idea. willowroot's watery gaze finds the kits again, sorrowful and quiet. she dips her head to the mollies within the den and exits, seeking a familiar tortoiseshell pelt.

robinheart has not followed the group into the nursery. she remains outside, paws trembling. willowroot presses against her, breathing in her former apprentice's scent, and feels grief wash over her anew. "my little bird," she will murmur softly, smoothing her tongue over the younger woman's cheek. gladefrost is gone, robinheart's best friend and confidant. the new mother will never see her children grow, never savor the connection of her new family. three kits are orphaned, made to be raised by uncertain and inexperienced queens. folding her tail around her former apprentice's side, the former queen murmurs softly. "i'm so sorry."

THE ECHOING HYMN ☾ OF MY FELLOW PASSERINE

• // "#91A26C"
• 
• WILLOWROOT ☾ SHE / THEY, WARRIOR OF RIVERCLAN. 46 MOONS. MENTORING ECHOPAW. PENNED BY LAVS
  
  
  a long-haired black smoke oriental with sage-green eyes. smoky long fur coats the length of willowroot's lithe body, cut through with dark ghost stripes. friendly sage green eyes that narrow in an almond shape, and her muzzle and limbs are thin and long due to her oriental heritage.

​

 

[iciclefang]

Iciclefang has always slept lightly, and when a patrol of cats returns to camp, their paws squishing in the sand, she rises, making haste toward the gloomy procession. Lichenstar's jaws clamp tightly around a dark-furred kitten; another swings from Hazecloud's. Orphaned kits? More of them? The sleepiness shatters like ice from her expression.

No. There is grief here, palpable, raw. Moonbeam and Robinheart enter camp behind the leader and deputy. Gladefrost is not here, but her kits — they are assembled with haste at Claythorn's waning flank. The ginger she-cat looks immediately overwhelmed at the prospect, but she is a RiverClanner — she takes to her duty immediately.

"She's gone? Why would she leave so close to her kitting?" Iciclefang's puzzlement is dulled by her sorrow. Gladefrost had seemed proud of the new life she was to welcome into her Clan, and if anything had troubled her in her final moments of life, well... the tortoiseshell lead warrior had not been privy to it. She remembers well the strain of pregnancy, remembers the toll the birthing took on her body. What minnowbrained fool would risk her children's lives like that?

It hardly matters, now, she supposes. Iciclefang watches Willowroot move to comfort Robinheart, who had lost a friend. She sinks her claws into the camp floor, more out of bitterness than anything else.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — "speech", thoughts, attack
  — 28 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.

​

 

[Lilacbird]

do you wanna know how it feels ​

The small molly looks up as Lichenstar enters, a small bundle of fur being brought to Claythorns side, an apologetic look casted from the leader to the new mother. And lilac only wished she could help more. Though, nothing leaves her maw as her clanmates seem shocked, angry she was sure.

Gladefrost had passed... Another warrior, queen, mother. And her lips tug back sadly as she tucks her head down into her lonely nest. There was not much she could say, that she could do. And there was no questions she had.

It was late ... "Just... Let me know if you need a paw..." She murmured softly to the other queen before idly pulling from their conversation to submerge into her own mind. (Of course, curiosity still pulled her to listen slightly.)
​

do you wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me
she/her ⋆ 30 moons old ⋆ lilac tortie with blue eyes ⋆ information

 

[DROPLETKIT]

Its Claythorns nudging that wakes her up, blearily blinking as she looks up to her mother as the scent of many different cats hit her nose. A squeak leaves her mouth as she shifts in the nest, instinctively scooting over but rising to her paws in a stretch. Lichenstar, Hazecloud each carry kittens... And her mama speaks, asking the question of where was she, the notation of it lost on a sleepy brain.

"Oh, hi, little babies!" Dropletkit echoes what Shellpaw had once said to them, keeping their voice down as to not wake up anyone else. The older queens chatter between each other, puzzlement and sorrow on their voices lost upon Dropletkits ears... All they focus on is the little ones now placed besides her and her other four siblings. Eight, now! The nest will be crowded... But thats okay, Droplet doesn't mind sharing! "Are they staying with us, mama?" a dumb question considering they're already in the nest; she kneads her mothers side in a gentle, calming manner to quell her own excitement at the prospect of a sleepover. "I can take care of them, I promise." earnestly, she speaks her word out to everyone and anyone that will listen, even the baby kittens that are now at her mamas side.

Gladefrost is missing from the den, but even then, queens come and go as they please, often needing to stretch their legs... She'll come back soon! Or maybe shes taking a while, like Magpiepaw was. Gone was just short for be back soon.

𝖢𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖮𝖭 𝖮𝖴𝖳, 𝖫𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖶𝖠𝖸 ݁˖ ❀ ⋆｡˚ 𝖫𝖤𝖳 𝖴𝖲 𝖲𝖤𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖧𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖨𝖭 𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖣𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖬𝖲

• ❥ dropletkit
  ❥ afab demi-girl .☘︎ ݁˖ she/they .☘︎ ݁˖ 3 months
  ❥ riverclan kit .☘︎ ݁˖ adopted by claythorn & otterbite
  ❥ small albino she-kit with dusty rose colored eyes .☘︎ ݁˖ very soft & fuzzy
  ❥ "speech, F3C4C5" .☘︎ ݁˖ thoughts
  ❥ single .☘︎ ݁˖ too young to consider love
  ❥ smells like flowers & milk .☘︎ ݁˖ distant nostalgia
  ❥ penned by chuff

 

[Moonbeam]

In this moment Moonbeam both regrets and appreciates that Robinheart had accepted her proposal of becoming her apprentice, for though the other was not quite there yet - her kits still needed her and Moonbeam would not be taking another from those children - she was going through so much already. When Lichenstar had returned to camp and requested Moonbeam to come with her, small whispering of death and kits, she had silently nod her head and peeked into the nursery to grab the red and grey queen, filling her in on what little information she knew before they had reached the border, reached the three newborns surrounded in the scent of blood and WindClan, and though she wanted to ask questions she kept her maw shut, disappointment and devastation written clear on her face.

The two carried Gladefrost back to camp, wade through water together before breaking through reeds and placing her body carefully down near the entrance as Lichenstar and Hazecloud moved to the nursery to ask Claythorn to watch over the kits, and the usual smiling face of the white moggie turned down harder. Claythorn already had so many to nurse, so many to take care of, and she could only hope that the other would be able to handle the addition of three more. When Robinheart murmured her offer to help with the vigil she would quickly nod her head before motioning for the queen to follow her - it was time for her to learn about mint, an herb that Moonbeam had hoped she wouldn't have to learn so soon.

CAUSE LIKE CONTELLATIONS ꕥ A MILLION YEARS AWAY

• --
• ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ flesh wounds
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ infections
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ aches & pains
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ illness
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ breathing
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ traveling
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ broken bones
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ kitting
  ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ poisons
• 
  ꕥ SH white masking cinnamon torbie w/orange eyes & small ears
  ꕥ 15 moons old; ages the 17th every month
  ꕥ homosexual polyromantic ; mated to beefang, crushing on redacted
  ꕥ currently mentoring none
  ꕥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ꕥ easy in combat unless in water, focuses on defensive tactics

​

 

[hazecloud]

—————————————————————⊰✿⊱————————————————————
Each step is a hinderance as she tries to balance her gait between the rushing thoughts following Gladefrost's unfortunate reveal. So much raced through her head as she tried to grapple making sense of every theoretical event that led up to this night. This quiet, cold night that couldn't even be warmed by the sight of fresh healthy kittens filling their nursery.

How long had they known each other? What drew them to one another, what was Gladefrost dissatisfied with in RiverClan that a WindClanner could offer? How could she forget all they had done to them, all they would continue to do as was the nature of the Clans survival. How could either of them have been so willing to risk so much for such little joy in the end?

It screeched the ignorance of forward thinking. Slateheart did not think of the cost that would be seeing his children's snarling teeth bared at him, Gladefrost must not have considered the impossible weight of carrying this secret all the way to Fourtrees, assuming she would survive. Assuming no one would be suspicious for why she refused the safety of camp. She could have lured predators in her moment of vulnerability, she could have very well killed those kits so shortly after they were born. Impossible to protect them.

Hazecloud grew queasy as her thinking swallowed her whole, suddenly aware of the camps clearing while she continued to follow Lichenstar. One, two then three, Claythorn is the closest nursing queen but would it be enough?

The two she carried found company with the one ensnared by Lichenstar's tail. The warmth of the nursery may lull them to sleep soon.

"I would if I could." She swore, it's the truth. These kits deserved a far better mother than the one that thrusted them into suffering upon their birth. Her eyes drift away from Claythorn's as she questioned the queens absence, slowly exhaling. "She was outside of camp. We don't know why-" She found Moonbeam in her wandering sights. "unfortunately... that answer only lies with StarClan." It's all she can answer for Claythorn and Iciclefang, or any other who may approach the same. These kits must never know anything else.

Hazecloud's mind wandered toward the apprentices den with a sharp inhale. "We'll have to tell Mothpaw and Frecklepaw- So soon after Magpiepaw, too..."

✿ ———— I'll be your regular mama ✿ ————— And I'll put that gun away

•  
• 
  
  
  Hazecloud
  —⊰⋅ Deputy of RiverClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH blue smoke with green eyes.
  

 

[lichenstar]

✦˚.✦˚✦˚✦˚ ✧ ˚✦˚✦˚✦.˚✧

CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY ✧

• Claythorn seems to understand instantly... and as does the rest of the clan as they toe along the outskirts of the nursery to lean in and look. There are suddenly newborn kits in their wake... and a bark-dusted corpse littering their camp. The story is plenty clear, though the foggy details are what perks their morbid curiosity. Her eyes travel to Iciclefang, grateful for Hazecloud's voice to sate the calico she-cat's question.
  
  Lilacbird mumbles her extension for help and Lichenstar beckons her closer with a sharp tilt of her nose, "I'll send... Moonbeam to help," she meows towards the overwhelmed torbie that complains of lacking milk supply before continuing, "Lilacbird... anything you can... do to... help keep them... warm...." The younger queen's body is only so big and can only warm so many tiny bodies at a time.
  
  Her nose scrunches, blinking at the tiny scraps as she tries to recall the names she'd been given for them as a final, desperate act. "Stormkit.... Ryekit.... and Moonkit." It feels wrong to have another heaven-sent name amongst them, when their medicine cat lives and breathes with the same one given to her as a gift. But they ignore the discomfort, to honor the dying wish of a molly who perhaps didn't deserve such kindness for her betrayal. "Her dying wish."
• about
  
  speech hex code ✧ #6368A5
  
  ooc notes ✦
  tagging ✶
  penned by tieirlys
• ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚ .
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ . . ˚ ੈ✧˳·˖✶ ✦ ˚ ✦ . . ˚ ★⋆. ࿐࿔
  
  . ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ✦ ​

 

[Lilacbird]

Her name is called by the leader, her head lifting as breathless words fall from her lips, to help keep them warm. warm. Yes.. yes, that is something that she could do- it is something she could easily do as a long furred queen, with an empty nest. "Yes.. yes, i can do that-" she says softly, cerulean gaze casting a soft look towards claythorn. it was her duty too- something she willingly signed up for- it would not matter if they were given to her- she would care for them, love them- as if they were hers.

every kit, no matter their background, no matter what had happened to them previously. and lilacbird would not question, already seeing the leader remain so tight lipped about such things. she would never question- she would love, as she was meant to. for why could she ever not. the names dripped off lichenstars tongue, and there seemed to be a hesitance (or perhaps that was just a breath the leader needed), at gladefrost having named one moonkit. but she again did not question.

"they... c-can lay in my nest, claythorn.. if you wish.. t-to give you space to warm your own..." she speaks quietly as she softly approaches, her curiousity growing to see the bodies of the children. she could not feed them, but she could warm them, she could raise them.. they would know gladefrost as their mother, she would take them to look at the stars one day- far away, and tell them shes watching them- surely with love.

would that be the right thing to do? that one, she wasnt so sure about-
​