these beautiful things that I’ve got ☼ toadhop

[ROEFLAME .]

-ˋˏ ༻ ☀ ༺ ˎˊ-

Between the news of Flamewhiskers pregnancy and Moonwhisper getting ready to move into the nursery, Roeflame was left feeling much more optimistic about the recent change of things. At least she wouldn’t be left to stare at the walls by herself for much longer.
The end of the day is what she looks forward to the most, when her loved ones finally finish with their responsibilities, patrols, and apprentices, and are able to visit with her for longer than just a quick check-in.
Normally, the tabby refrained from revealing how antsy she was getting, how desperately she missed being a lead warrior and a mentor. How she missed being just Roeflame.
However, when she had seen a familiar chocolate pelt just returning from a long, hard day of juggling all of his responsibilities, her older sister instincts kicked into overdrive, and she had practically dragged Toadhop over to settle just outside nursery with her, letting him grab a meal for them to share.
Naturally, she had pestered him for a run-down of his day first, only half interested in the meal. When a moment of comfortable silence fell upon the duo, Roeflame finished her bite, pushing the feathery meal towards her adoptive brother with a far-way look.
”You know… I’m really proud of you” the queens sighs, the emotion pricking at the back of her throat seemingly forming out of the blue as she finally dances celadon optics back to the younger warrior. ”I know I wasn’t always the best sister, not like I should have been, but despite all of it you grew up to be everything I had always hoped, and more, someone I want my kits to look up to.” Her sentences are awkwardly broken up, words hitching as she tried to communicate her feelings properly.
”I just… I guess I don’t think I ever really told you that before. Calling you my family is a privilege I don’t ever want to take for granted.” She pauses, ”I just really want you to know that.”
Stars, why am I tearing up? This poor guy.
Roeflame decides to blame the pregnancy. Clearly, that was what was happening here.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── SHE BLOWS OUTTA NOWHERE ⋅✴⋅ ROMAN CANDLE OF THE WILD ──┐‎

• 
  @TOADHOP
  
  

• 

• 
  ROEFLAME ✩ she/her, Lead Warrior of Thunderclan, twenty-one moons.
  ⭃ petite cinnamon silver ticked tabby with murky green eyes & a small scar over her left eye.
  ⭃ mate to Burnstorm ☀ mentor to Foxpaw, Lightpaw
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted ☀ underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by Noor ↛ @toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[TOADHOP]

” … And I caught a squirrel earlier today. That’s about it, really. “

These days, it feels like Toadhop is busier than Roeflame. For good reason, of course — the lead warrior is relegated to the nursery now, Roeflame shouldn’t be pushing herself harder than she needs to when kits are impending. Part of him is grateful for the lull in her duties, that the brown tabby gets more of an opportunity to spend time with his older sister when his own are finished.

Such as today. Roeflame had greeted him first after his return from a border patrol, and he’d barely had time to grab a meal to share with his sibling before she’d led him over to the nursery’s shade. The tom tells her of his day as she grazes upon the bird he’d managed to grab, and when he’s finished telling her all there is to know, Toadhop looks to Roeflame, to the prey she pushes toward him and the tail-lengths away gaze she holds.

“ Roe? Everything okay…? “ the warrior starts to worry then. Should he get Gentlestorm? Maybe something was wrong with her, or… or the kits, or —

Finally she speaks, and Toadhop blinks at her words. She’s proud of him. “ You are? “ Part of the brown tabby wants to reject any notion of pride, wants to protest and say there’s nothing to be proud of.

He’s someone she wants her children to look up to, she adds. He’s merely a loner, a son of an exile, a warrior delayed. “ I’m not sure there’s much to admire, “ he admits, gingerly taking a bite of the avian prey at his paws.

Her kits, her kits will have others to look up to. A whole family’s worth, a legacy bound in their father’s lineage. Moonwhisper, he thinks, will be a better aunt than he’ll ever be an uncle. Skyclaw and Duskbird will be better uncles too. Stars, even their Sky-dwelling family might be better than him.

His uncertainty in himself nearly makes him miss the clipping of her words, the break in her sentences in her own self-deemed unworthiness. Toadhop shakes his head quickly, looking to tear-pricked eyes. His own start to sting at the sight — he might just cry too, if tears start to fall from the queen’s eyes. “ Roe, “ he starts, “ I'm proud of you too. And, I couldn’t have asked for a better sister. Or… A better older sister. “ A gentle nudge to the lead warrior's shoulder mark his clarification. Ragwortpaw would’ve thrown a right fit, if she’d heard his claims without distinction.

“ You… You didn’t have to keep looking after me, after everything that happened. You could’ve left like everyone else. “ Perhaps Toadhop wouldn’t have blamed her with how little he liked her at first sight, a fear at a newly-met sister tasked with leading him to the oak forest. “ But you stayed, and protected me and stuck up for me and… and I couldn’t ask for anyone else. You’re a good sister, Roe. You’ll be a good mother too, I know it. “ ​

✦ ABOUT

• 

  TOADKIT ‣ TOADPAW ‣ TOADHOP
  ── Warrior of ThunderClan
  
  ── Cinderfrost x Grime
  ── AMAB; He/Him
  ── A brown tabby and white tom with blue eyes.
  ── Mentored by Stonepool
  ── "Speech"; Attack​

​

 

[ROEFLAME .]

-ˋˏ ༻ ☀ ༺ ˎˊ-

The self-doubt her brother hums is enough to make Roeflame snort, spark a playful eye roll. Though, the tabby queen supposes she understands, isn’t it true that you are your own worst critic?
Still, the cliche doesn’t stop Roeflame from wishing Toadhop could see himself the way she does, recognize his perseverance and courage.
He combats Roeflame’s admittance to her own shortcomings, and the cinnamon freckled she-cat is drawn back to the morning she had brought him and his littermates back, it was the last time she had ever seen Cinderfrost. Emotion cements itself in the back of her throat, and Roeflame extends a forepaw, reaching over to lay it atop of his.
”Can I tell you a secret?” The older warrior sighs, though there is an ironic grin beginning to bloom on dampened features.
”When I brought you guys back to camp… stars. I was scared shitless.” There’s a soft laughter at the end of her confession, the humor of hindsight. ”You were all so… terrified, these strangers had just whisked you away from everything you knew, proclaiming themselves family- I didn’t know what to do or say.” Roeflame shakes her head, recalling Sunnydays presence, the memory of Sandthorn following shortly thereafter. ”I can’t say I wouldn’t change a thing about that night, I’ll never understand what you went through. Yet, I do know that being in your lives made me… better. You guys helped me feel whole again.” It’s a simplified version of her experience, but it cuts through all the murky and the hurt and straight to the good part, and that’s more than okay with Roeflame.
”Besides, are you kidding? You’re kickass- who wouldn’t want to be around you? Whatever wistful touch to her expression is quickly shattered by a smirk, giving her chosen family a humorous nudge with her paw. ”So, basically you’re stuck with me- and these future scraps, kitsitting duty is imminent.” The last part is said with a wink.
Despite the light-hearted face, Roeflame cannot keep herself from replaying Toadhops sentiments in her mind, as though trying to believe them herself.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── SHE BLOWS OUTTA NOWHERE ⋅✴⋅ ROMAN CANDLE OF THE WILD ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• 
  ROEFLAME ✩ she/her, Lead Warrior of Thunderclan, twenty-one moons.
  ⭃ petite cinnamon silver ticked tabby with murky green eyes & a small scar over her left eye.
  ⭃ mate to Burnstorm ☀ mentor to Foxpaw, Lightpaw
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted ☀ underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by Noor ↛ @toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​