sensitive topics told the reaper when you see her, say I'm sorry I couldn't be her // private

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

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siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

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The moment they're gone, Siltcloud shatters.

They're gone. Her kits - her babies - they're gone. It doesn't matter that'd it'd been her choice, that she'd done it for their own good - that she'd thought of pebblekit and chirpkit lying cold in their makeshift graves in twolegplace and decided she couldn't stand for the rest of her children to share their fate. it doesn't matter, because it still hurts. Tears, hot and heavy, drip down dust hued cheeks as she slides to the ground, breathing erratic and pained - she can hardly breathe, the world spinning in her delirium.

She's not sure how long she lies there - but clearly its too long. She's barely able to pull herself together, to press down her panic into a wave of not-caring when she hears it - pawsteps against the marshland ground, scents and voices wafting into range. There's hardly enough time to pull herself to her paws, limbs trembling like a newborn fawn beneath her, before the patrol emerges.

'One- two- three- four-' even as swiftly as bloodshot eyes flick across the figures, she knows she's already out numbered. There is no time to think, to flee - she has tasted shadowclan blood before, and she knows they are out for her own. It doesn't occur to her that they have even more reason too now - has no idea that it is not only blood but death that stains her image here. No, she only knows that one figure is one she knows as well as her own.

In a heartbeat, she's pouncing upon Caterpillarpaw, pinning her down with teeth bared and claws unsheathed as she hovers, poised like a serpent ready to strike. " You- d-don't move! leave... leave me alone or I'll- I'll - or she'll die , " she hisses, ragged coat and kinked tail fluffed up in fear and anger. Even now, she's hardly more than a skeleton - skin sunken tight against bones, dull eyes sullen and wild.

She means none of what she says - she could never hurt caterpillarpaw. She cared for her former apprentice as much as her own flesh and blood - perhaps even more, if one takes into account she'd sink her fangs into granitepelts throat in a heartbeat should they ever cross paths again. Chest heaves painfully fast as she presses against tortoiseshell figure, but there is no bite in her bark, and she is careful not to let claws actually reach her skin. She will not hurt caterpillarpaw - no matter what wicked lies she tells. Surely, caterpillarpaw knows it too - she'd wanted to come with her after all.

She just want's to leave - can think of no other way to get out of this unscathed, weak as she is. She just... she just-

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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[jaggedpath !]

―|―――――――――――――――――|⤙‹ (( ☽ )) ›⤚|―――――――――――――――――|―

The hunting patrol had gone as one typically would for the marsh. No matter the season it felt like fighting uphill just to bring home a frog for Jaggedpath, but that may be closer to the fact he lacked any grand skill for it. Perhaps today he can blame his failures on their teams focus shifting onto something else.

Lilacfur had gone to follow the scent of prey, only to never return. With her apprentice in tow they followed her trail to be met with the entwining scent of another. Of a killer. And now she threatened to kill again.

"N-nuh-no good Sleeven. Takin' the b-blind girl fer yer sss-sick tricks." He hissed through bared teeth. His paws twitched and he looked to Nightwhisper or Duckshimmer to see if they had any ideas for disrupting their hostage situation.

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―|――――――――――――――|⤙‹ (( ☽ )).....

☾⤙‹ (( ooc -☽- info )) ›⤚☽

• // OOC​
• image here optional
• ― (( jaggedpath )) shadowclan warrior | cismale he/him | 57 moons | speaks very fast, has an irish accent
  ↳ fluffy white tom with black speckles on his muzzle and bright blue eyes
  ― easy to make friends with | bad at romance | good at teaching | bad with kits​

 

[Nightwhisper.]

I don't mind if the world spins faster​

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Lilacfur had strayed off, leaving them accompanied to Caterpillarpaw, yet she worries for the lead warriors safety especially with the dangers that continued to lurk so dangerously close to the borders and only hope for the best, and that she was okay. Yet, anxiousness flood through her chest as the blooming scent of Siltcloud hit her nose, and yet at the same time everything had happened so quickly and her hackles rose, ears swerving to pin against their head.

Caterpillerpaw held hostage while the threats of murder played in the ear. "Don't, Siltcloud, please don't. Let her go, okay? Please... Or we'll have to use brute force and, well you're outnumbered this fight would not end well for you. Do you want that?" their words gentle, while she cared naught fod Siltcloud, she did care for the safety of the apprentice. Her hackles slowly rising on her back. Noting that the molly did not look well at all, sickly even.

She narrowed her good eye, scanning across the skin and bones of the exiled warrior before her. Jaggedpath would hiss in his protests, Duckshimmer had yet to say anything, yet... Caterpillarpaw's safety was on the line and the unsurety that she might actually kill the apprentice did not fare well in Nightwhisper's stomach."You're tresspassing, and we have our orders. Let Caterpillarpaw go okay?" she was trying to stay calm, to not lung herself or attack the other before her, and yet if it comes down to things. She will, if it meant protecting the future of Shadowclan.

Why did she show up now of all time? Had she become desperate? If so, she was a fool for coming back, especially after harming Ashenpaw, after killing Comfreypaw, and keeping all those secrets from the clan, being her own brothers accomplice. The urge to attack was tense in her own muscles, tail swish from side to side, eyes glued on the other in case she made any attempts that would cause harm to Lilacfur's apprentice.​

"speak""Thoughts"​

 

[CATERPILLARPAW.]

CURIOUS TO SEE US STRUGGLE​

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this was not what she wanted. the moment that siltcloud was casted out as a murderer's co-operative, a lot of feelings washed with her. she wasn't sure why it felt so unreal that siltcloud would do anything to hurt the clan. she'd never purposefully hurt caterpillarpaw, only in small instances where they were training but mostly... she cared. she took her under her wing and she tried to make a real warrior out of her. she did her best and it meant nothing because behind her back, she was being led around by someone who wasn't a good cat at all. someone who killed an apprentice after her exile, attacked another. who knows how many cats are dead because she couldn't control her temper. whoever this cat was that had now taken her under their paws– versus the wings that she had first tucked her under– was not the mentor that she knew and loved.

she doesn't even smell like siltcloud anymore. just barely her scent picks up but mostly, caterpillarpaw smells despair, mud, and the putrid scent that all rogues carried– desperation. she swallows thickly, trying to scramble away but it's of little use. she's, even now, too scared to hurt siltcloud. she thought that she was over these feelings of her former mentor meaning so much to her but it's never been that easy. siltcloud was almost her mother. almost.

"s-siltcloud... d...don't do this pl-please... j-just let me go, w-we aren't gonna... i-i won't hurt you. please. don't kill me."

her ears pin and though logically she can tell there is no claws within her, she's scared of how long it will be until she snaps fully and loses herself and outright kills her. lilacfur had her own little ones to take care of now, so she cannot be saved. she's scared.

"i-i'm sc...scared... siltcloud wh-what happened t-to you..."

and even when she's terrified, she still cares. siltcloud cared for her more than her own mother did and replaced her just as easy. was she now gonna die by her paws?
​

 

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

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siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

---

Tortie figure trembles beneath her, but for the moment the dust hued figure has eyes only for the patrol. " Th-then leave! G-go away... just back off! I want nothing to do with this.... this... this star forsaken clan! " she spits, a cough spluttering up past her lips. Vision blurs black and red bleeding into the edges, and for a moment she can't tell if its fear or rage or sick that blinds her. " Cat- Cat I can't... I can't let you go, " she says, and it's meant to be soothing - the some motherly tone she'd used in their training session, that she'd used when she'd told caterpillarpaw to stay behind, that she'd used when telling Marblekit and Sycamorekit goodbye.

It's painful, seeing the fear in hazy green eyes, but it can't be helped. Surely, caterpillarpaw will understand? She has too - she's siltclouds apprentice after all. " I know you're just waiting to kill me - all of you fox hearts are the same. I can't - I won't let caterpillarpaw go 'till you leave! Just leave me alone! " she just wants to be left alone, wants to be left to her grief in peace. She'd only wanted a moment to collect herself, to memorize her children's faces - had that really been so much to ask? Claws dig into the ground and she winces as she feels something snag and tear - it's far from the first claw shed lost in her anxiety, but it's no less painful. " Just go away, " she rasps.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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[Duckshimmer]

*+:｡.｡ "You know we can't do that, darling" Duckshimmer's voice is a velvet-covered dagger as intense periwinkle blue eyes bore down on Shadowclan's most vile traitor. Duckshimmer had used Siltcloud and her rotten brother's names to scare her kittens into compliance many times, despite once knowing the molly distantly in their shared youth. Siltcloud was meant to die an unsavory legend - a beast to keep naughty kittens at bay, yet here the coward is, still daring to continue breathing.

Beautiful ivory claws glint in the light before she digs them into the soil, fighting the urge to pounce upon the pathetic excuse for a feline as she whines on and on to be allowed free. The audacity of her! To demand from them trust that she won't rip the life out of yet another of Shadowclan's youths. Duckshimmer bites down a maelstrom of curses, insults, and colorful threats, instead choosing to carefully breathe out, "I can see you still love her, Siltcloud." A mother, even a reluctant one, can't ever hide her affection for the ones she's had a hand in raising, and for all her faults she see's that love in Siltcloud now as she hesitates to dig her claws in too deep, flinches at Caterpillarpaw's words, the way she tries to soothe her. It makes Duckshimmer sick to see such maternal traits on a woman so devoid of honor.
"Let her go. It's not too late to do the right thing, sweetheart, do the right thing" Her words are a quiet coo, her own motherly instincts kicking in as she blinks sympathetic eyes on the woman who'd once been her younger clanmate.

But she makes no false promises despite her kindness.
Because, whether Siltcloud lets Caterpillarpaw go out of the goodness of her heart or not...Duckshimmer will find a way to kill her. Siltcloud's legend begins and ends within the darkness beneath the kitten's nests, too far to ever touch any hair upon their heads...six feet under kind of far.

*+:｡.｡ Updated 12/15/23

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ⚜ Duckshimmer
  ⚜ DFAB— She/Her — Bisexual
  ⚜ 30 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ⚜ Mother to Singepaw, Swallowpaw and Sneezepaw
  ⚜ Shadowclan — Warrior
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ⚜Physically hard | mentally hard
  ⚜ Attack in bold #ffa98f
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[CATERPILLARPAW.]

CURIOUS TO SEE US STRUGGLE​

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she smells sick. something tells her that siltcloud isn't right. something wrong. and that same voice that guides her through training, the very voice that's used to make her stay in shadowclan... would she have been better if caterpillarpaw went with her anyways? she tried. got lost, was found and... she didn't leave camp by herself after that. chilledstar didn't want anyone leaving camp by themselves, anyways, so it wasn't exactly like she could go search for siltcloud. she was sure it was going to hurt more to see her, especially after what she's done.

"you have to let me go! i can't stay! please, you're scaring me!"

she doesn't move, except to dig her claws in the ground, and her desperation makes her worry. she may never wish to hurt caterpillarpaw, but she's not in her right state of mind and something clicks in her mind. siltcloud herself told her never to let herself be caught off guard. no one could save her but herself. she has to get siltcloud off. and, so, her claws come out on instinct, and she pushes the unusually light weight off by kicking her back legs and digging into flesh with her front, against siltcloud's neck, scrambling to get up the moment siltcloud stumbles back. the scent of blood is so strong is makes her nauseous. what... what had she just done?

"s...siltcloud?"

she hears her fall to the ground and her pale gaze goes wide. no. no no no, this couldn't be happening!

"no! i-i'm sorry! i didn't mean t-to... i-i can fix it! y-yeah... yeah! i can fix it, siltcloud, just give me a second, okay?!"

she scrambles to press her paws to the source of the blood, panting heavily and tears falling down her face as she begins to shake. the scent of copper is overwhelming. she can't think of anything else.

"mom, please! i'm sorry it was an accident and i... you have to get up! you have to go you have to leave! oh, stars... what do i do... what do i do!? why won't... why won't it stop!?"

she will never be the same. and she won't leave her. siltcloud may have been a terrible cat but caterpillarpaw can't leave her. she didn't deserve to die alone. no one did.

//powerplay perms given! caterpillarpaw will not be leaving her body by choice <3

​

 

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

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siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

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Duckshimmer tries to reason with her, soft tone mimicking her own - and for a moment, she considers. The patrol refuses to back off - she's still losing an already impossible battle.... and caterpillarpaws terrified voice feels like claws raking across her heart and ears. Is this really where it all ends? Is this really how she's going to die, drowned beneath a see of faces and bodies she'd once called friends?

And then she feels it - the force of her former apprentice pushes her away, even as claws scrape across fur and flesh and suddenly she tastes blood. Siltcloud is thrown off of the tortoiseshell... exactly how she'd taught her. Dull eyes are wide in surprise as she stumbles - one pawstep, then two. It's impossible to keep her balance as brain stutters to a halt and blood gurgles past parted lips. As stick figure limbs collapse beneath her, the only emotion she can feel is a strange, sickening sort of pride.

Of all the things she'd done wrong in her life, here, at last, was one she'd done right. Some part of her wants to tell Caterpillarpaw that it's alright - that she'd done a good job... even if it'd been her who'd been on the receiving end. But words don't come - only more blood. Through haze of fading vision she thinks she feels paws press against her wounds and a voice pleading with her - but really, none of it matters in the end.

Green eyes flicker closed with an eerie sense of peace - the last of her unshed tears falling down her cheeks. It's over - what's done is done, and the monster that has always been siltcloud has at last been slain. Tabby figure succumbs to her end with a peace she doesn't deserve, content in the knowledge that at least her kits will be safe in shadowclans paws.

'Maybe loampelt will be waiting for me,' she thinks - she'd like that.

But for siltcloud there is no light at the end of the tunnel - no starry furred figure to welcome her home. There is only darkness.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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