Jun 16, 2022

She had called out for Ash. In what she thought was going to be her last moments, all she had wanted was to see the girl that she had vowed to keep safe. Not Wolf, but Ash. Ashkit, the kit that had gotten on Pumpkins nerves so many times, whom Pumpkin had snapped at in anger, who had made up with the cinnamon calico. Pumpkin had dropped the mouse at her paws, and from there an unlikely friendship started.

She still remembers the time she had brought Ashkit close to her, gave her a hug. How Ashkit sobbed that he would come back, and what if he killed Pumpkin, Cicada, her. She told herself she'd get stronger. To protect the ones she loved.

She wasn't strong enough. Wolf had been ripped apart by the dogs. Pumpkin could do nothing but struggle in the grip she was held in by the other. She had bled and nearly died, had passed out as she was dragged to the camp. Her dreams were full of red, angry snapping teeth that faded in to emptiness.

Shes still so tired. Its been about a day and Beesong is out of the medicine den to do Starclan knows what. Shes laid there since shes opened her eyes, numb, unfeeling. The pain of the wounds was nothing to the inner battle.

She begins to cry again, silent tears. Cried for Wolf, cried for a lost eye, cried because the Stars had forsaken her. She just wanted someone to sit with, at this point. The silence of the medicine den is enough to drive her insane.
// @tinyleafs

She's not sure if she's supposed to be here. She doesn't care.

Grown-ups sometimes talk like they think kits can't hear them, but they're silly and wrong. Word spread the night of the dog attack-- the night Cicadastar had come back ragged and bloody and sobbing, Pumpkinpaw had come back nearly lifeless, and Wolfpaw hadn't come back at all. A tragedy like that-- one that nearly broke Cicadastar himself-- was one that people were gonna talk about.

And they did. They had. Talked and talked. So by now Ashkit knows.

Long after the frenzy had calmed and the clan had gone to bed, Ashkit had laid awake for hours in the dark. Thinking about Pumpkinpaw dying, Pumpkinpaw begging. What if she had died, whispers a little voice in the back of her mind, and you weren't there? What if she'd begged for you and never got to see you again?

She'd cried a lot last night.

So, yeah. She knows she's probably not supposed to be here. Supposed to let her rest, she needs her rest, Ashkit, don't bother her, one of the queens had murmured-- well-meaning but still scolding and still wrong. She needed Ashkit. She'd begged.

Trembling amber pawsteps, soft and uncertain, and Ashkit makes her way over to Pumpkinpaw's nest. Her breath catches, a sob rising in her throat at the sight of the girl. Pumpkin is-- mauled, is so injured she looks like more injury than cat right now, and all Ashkit can think is how close it must've come. It really hits her then that if things had gone even slightly differently last night, she might've never ever seen Pumpkinpaw again.

Then she sees that the other girl is crying, and Ashkit remembers why she's here in the first place.

"Hi," she whispers, padding closer. She curls up beside Pumpkinpaw's nest-- doesn't touch her because she's scared to but wishes she could hug, could cuddle, could comfort. "I... I wanted to come visit. You're all alone in here."

She scoots a tiny bit closer and finishes, "I thought you must be really sad and hurting after... after. So I'm here, okay?"

—— i found gold in the wreckage
  • ooc text goes here
  • - 3 month old orange tabby with green eyes - will bite you - and then apologize bc she's trying to be good, really, she is - latches onto anyone who shows her affection

Her prayers had been answered and theres a tiny voice that shakes like a leaf in the wind. Pumpkin doesn't recognize it at first as she desperately rises to her paws to turn away, only for them to buckle underneath her and send her crashing in to the makeshift nest. A whine of pain, of fear, finally leaves her mouth as tears begin to gush out once more.

"Don't look at me," shes vaguely aware that she does not sound like Pumpkin, does not sound like the snarky bitch she usually was. Her own voice shook and she fleetingly thought that maybe that tiny voice from before was her. "Please, just go away." Stay. her mind screams and she opens her mouth but nothing but silence tumbled forth. Nothing comes out. Ash continues talking. She wanted to visit her, shes all alone in here. Ash was right.

So she begins to cry again. Its keening, agony filled as she shifts, trying to hook a paw around Ash to bring her close. Envelop her in a hug, because shes scared. If she didn't, if she didn't then the dogs would come bursting through the medicine den walls, they'd snatch Ash up and she'd see her torn apart all over again. Ash would be eviscerated and Pumpkin could do nothing but watch, because shes a fucking failure. She had done the same for Wolf.

I'm here okay?

She loses it. Her cries grow louder. She was so scared, so, so scared, every time she closed her eyes she saw the snapping jaws, the red that splashed across the ground, she saw in real time her vision come back only for it to be ripped away. "I look- I look like a monster!" she wails, sobs wracking her body. "Please, please, don't go, don't go, they're gonna come for me. They're gonna finish me off-!" she gasps for air, so worked up that her head begun to pound. How selfish she was, asking a kit whom she was barely older than, to protect her.