sensitive topics what's down in the dark will be brought to the light // injuries

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
//tw: injury description, mentions of blood
@BERRYHEART @sandpaw @LICHENPAW

What have I done?

Long legs made short work of traversing the territory as the tom raced from Sunningrocks back to the ThunderClan camp. As he moved he spilled droplets of crimson that made for an easy to follow trail, but he didn't care about his own injuries. There was no space for sympathy towards his own plight, not when the weight of his own mistakes and sins weighed so heavy upon his shoulders. And upon those same shoulders he carried Sandpaw's limp form. A victim of his fury, and now a source of his eternal regret. He focused on the goal of reaching the camp so he could get help, and he trusted no other cat more in that moment than Berryheart. Surely he would know what to do!

"BERRYHEART! Please hurry, it's Sandpaw!" Sunnyday called out in his booming voice, though it crackled with exhaustion and anguish as he dove through the entrance to the camp with all the care he could spare as he tried to avoid making things worse for the injured she-cat. "It's her leg!" He explained as he bee-lined for the medicine den with the intention of laying her in one of the nests there. "It's all my fault..." The beginnings of a croaked confession came, though he stopped himself from saying more. He wanted to reserve it for Howlingstar. It was time he confessed to it all, just as he had promised to Lichenpaw.
​

 

[BERRYHEART]

A frantic call for his name- the most frequent manner in which his name was cried, and yet his reaction never grew weary. Despite his natural tranquility and his love of languidness, Berryheart certainly had potential to move quickly- he proved it in that moment, breaking out of the shadows of his den, askew eyes landing upon Leggy, tailed by Freckles with Dune-fur slung across his back. A creaking confession began to scrape through the tall tom's throat- It's all my fault. He would have been a fool to miss it.

It was not his duty to pry- not his duty to prosecute or judge. It was his duty to aid, and that he would. He would carry out what he was called for- helping Dune-fur. She seemed faint- barely-there, and a heavy sigh left him as he approached her, concern a storm in his olive eyes. He could not waste a moment on questions that the warriors of the Clan would inevitably ask.

"What's wrong?" Voice as level and soft as ever, he leaned close to Dune-fur; he wanted her ailment in her own words, wanted to know exactly what bothered her. Leg injuries, as Leggy had stated... they were not familiar ground for the speckled healer.​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
It's the reek of blood that brings Roeflame forward, the soft breeze in the air causing the metallic scent to spread through camp like wild fire, her gait hurried and eyes searching in an investigative manner.
She stops at a distance, the scene before her prompting a troubled grimace to form on normally soft features.
Sandpaw is injured, her leg crooked in an unnatural manner- the injury looking quite similar to when Roeflames own hind leg had been dislocated.
The blood, however, is what concerns her. Sunnyday bared most of the crimson, while his other apprentice only seemed to be scraped up.
Did Riverclan do this? Shadowclan? She stops to wonder, but the confession that wheezed from the other warrior brings any assumptions she may have to a halt.
She takes a moment to look at Lichenpaw, brows gathering together in both confusion and concern. "What's your fault? What happened?" She finally asks once there was a moment of silence, eyes tearing from Lichenpaw to Sunnyday.
"What..what did you do?"

"speech"

tags​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Up until now, the day has been rather peaceful. Hunting patrols were coming back with high success, the sun has been shining all morning, and the borders seem peaceful enough. Howlingstar finally has a moment to relax, and she does so sprawled across a flat stone with a white paw draped over her face to block the sun. A low purr rumbles in her throat as ears twitch to and fro to pick up the sounds from around camp.

She hears the thudding paws and the brush of fur entering through the bramble tunnel too fast before she hears Sunnyday's yowls. Immediately, the woman is rolling to her stomach and she sits bolt-straight, green eyes wide and alert. She can spot the warrior, his pelt covered in scratches and Sandpaw's limp form dragging from his back. With alarm bells ringing in her head, she wastes no time in bounding towards him and his apprentices. Berryheart is already at work, and Howlingstar locks eyes with the bloodied tom. "What happened?!" She demands, voice shrill with worry. They must have been attacked. That's all she can think as she rakes her gaze across his form before her eyes fall upon-

Her stomach twists. One of Sandpaw's legs dangles in a strange way, loose and long. It looks unnatural and the tabby can only gaze on in horror. What caused that?​

 

[Flamestar]

Almost there..

Distant green eyes were more focused than they had been in the past few weeks. She stared intensely at the twigs she was weaving into the sides of the Warrior Den wall, when a loud yowl started her. The twig snapped, and she flicked her ear in irritation. She whipped her head around to the source of the sound, and she saw Sunnyday, Lichenpaw, and a supported Sandpaw enter the camp. The smell of copper entered her nose, and immediately the fur on her neck began to prickle.

The den wall repairs abandoned, Flamewhisker hurried over to join Howlingstar, Berryheart, and Roeflame. As she spotted Sandpaw's disfigured leg, her eyes glazed over in panic. Nothing about that looked normal..."Did Riverclan attack you?" she would ask, her throat beginning to tighten. The name of the other clan felt like vile on her tongue, and it made her blood turn cold. If they did this...there would be hell to pay.

[₊⋆]​

​

 

[LICHENPAW ❁]

.°❁ CLING TO MY CONVICTIONS

---

Lichenpaw is slower to return to camp than his mentor. He moves gingerly, as though pained, with newly-formed bruises where Sandpaw's body had been slammed against his own. He doesn't seem to register them though, no wincing or pain on his face. Instead, his eyes are downcast, expression twisted and hollow. The culprit of Sunnyday's wounds is clear: blood dries against the dark fur of Lichenpaw's paws, leaving no trail as he follows Sunnyday.

Berryheart is there quickly, that's good. And he's focused on Sandpaw, as he should be. He doesn't want to think about the twist of her leg, the way she had cried out from her place unmoving on the sand. He keeps his eyes averted. There's questions, immediately, seeking some kind of explanation. Sunnyday said he'd explain everything, but Lichenpaw isn't inclined to take his word. It's the last voice, Flamewhisker's, that gets the apprentice speaking past the lump in his throat. "Did Riverclan attack you?" "No," he says quickly, with more vitriol than he intends.

He can't focus enough to school his tone, and his next words come out nearly as laced with bitterness, disjointed though they are. "Sunny -- Sunnyday, um. He did. He attacked -- um, he -- he attacked us, me and -- and uh, and Sandpaw, it was..." Not training, he said it wasn't training. And truthfully, he hadn't been the one to start attacking them, just told them to attack him and then responded with far more force than they had, the fight was unfair from the start, and... and... It's all too much right now. Lichenpaw's voice grows more weary the more he speaks, a detached hollowness creeping into the words. "I -- I don't know. A fight. He -- he -- he did -- something, to Sandpaw's leg. He hurt her." He leaves it at that. That's the most important part, everything else can come later.

---

EVEN WHEN I GET HURT ! .°❁

⟪ OOC ⟫ ⟪ INFO ⟫ ⟪ REF ⟫

• //​
• LICHENPAW named for the lichen on the trees of his home.
  — he/him or they/them. 10 moons.
  — thunderclan apprentice, mentored by sunnyday.
  — bears a near-permanent nervous grin.
  
  primary character, medium-high activity. penned by saturnid.​
• 

​

 

[RACCOONSTRIPE]

Raccoonstripe is beside Flamewhisker, clumsily weaving twigs onto the opposite side of the warrior's den. A recent storm had left it in bad shape, and he isn't alone in wanting to stay dry throughout the newleaf season. He hears another of Flamewhisker's twigs snap and chuckles. "You'll get it right eventually," he teases. As soon as he says this, his own twig snaps, and his laughter ceases with surprise.

But there's a commotion, and his attention is drawn from the litter of broken sticks around them. Sunnyday leading his apprentices into camp, his golden pelt splattered red with blood. Lichenpaw, too, looks battered.

But it's Sandpaw who Raccoonstripe regards with true horror. The pale she-cat's hind leg -- it hangs at an odd angle, and it seems she can't walk on it at all. He looks around wildly for his brother, his mother, for Flycatcher. They all have the same question for Sunnyday: What happened?

But it's Lichenpaw who answers. He says no, RiverClan did not attack him. Raccoonstripe's ears flatten as the explanation stutters on. "A fight. He did something to Sandpaw's leg. He hurt her." Incredulously, Raccoonstripe's dark gaze rises to Sunnyday. The tom looks defeated, concerned, but --

"Did you mistake her for a RiverClanner?" He snaps, his hackles rising. "Well, that couldn't be, since you treat them more like friends than your Clanmates!"

He looks to Howlingstar, awaiting her word. She alone would pass judgment on this sorry excuse for a warrior.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​

 

[Badgerstrike]

Badgerstrike heard the commotion from the other side of camp. At first she was in no rush, she was about to head out on a hunt and was more interested in that than what was happening until she got a good look at the three returning and the word Riverclan among the chatter. Immediately her mind changed course. Did those bastards do that? Sandpaw's leg looked terrible, it shouldn't....Look that way. Legs don't do that.

She rushed over to get the full story. If it was Riverclan, she'd do that to ALL their legs.

Except as she got closer.... It seemed it wasn't their amphibious neighbors. It was their own mentor. Sunnyday.

Piercing yellow eyes pinned on Sunnyday as she bristled. How could he? She would wait for his side of the story before losing her temper. If what Lichenpaw said was true, then she was about to be absolutely furious.
​

 

[Sunfreckle]

Far be it from Sunfreckle to make judgements on other mentors when he was not exactly the epitome of a great teacher himself but the fact one of their warriors had apparently caused such pain to an apprentice in all tough rough teaching was intolerable. That it was Sunnyday of all cats, who was usually so patient and kind with the youth was a surprise that shook him to the core. The three-legged tom hobbled over in time to hear the stuttered explaination, the call for Berryheart and the tearful eyes of Sandpaw laying upon the ground and his green gaze lifted sharply to the pale tom, wide and uncertain. Was that true? It couldn't be. He didn't want to believe it. But there was an unmistakable shame to the tom's lowered head and remorseful eyes.

"...you will cause such pain to your own apprentices but you will not stand with ThunderClan and fight for us?" His voice is quietly horrified, every cat knew Sunnyday's opposition to Sunningrocks but the red tabby had hoped that he was just battling with his own sense of moral righteousness and would overcome it in time. He himself had felt some degree of unease, but at the end of the day ThunderClan came first. "...just where does your loyalty die? Was it with Emberstar alone? Did it die with her?" Sunfreckle could not find it in himself to be outraged as the others, a quiet sense of defeat flooding his senses. It felt as though he was submerged in cold water.
"...how could you?" Shallowpaw looked up to him, so many did; Cinderfrost's kits practically viewed him as a father figure though he didn't know how true that was any longer. To see such a shift was so jarring.
​

 

[sandthorn]

"GOLDEN CHILD, LION BOY;"​

by the time she is slipped into the medicine cat den, dropped promptly into a nest, sandpaw's eyes begin to flutter open once again. there is a brief moment of confusion as she glances around the den, unaware of where she is or how she had gotten there. lifting her head to see what was going on, she saw sunnyday, lichenpaw, and berryheart. either the realization dawned on her, or the sharp movement was the cause of the hot pain once again surfacing.

her pupils shrunk despite the darkness of the den, flank once again rising and falling with a violent fervor. sandpaw blinks quickly as her eyes once again well full of tears, trying to exterminate them. berryheart dips down, questions her about what was wrong. the girl hesitates to answer, a nervous shift of her dulled golden gaze jumping to lichenpaw and sunnyday.

soon there were many voices, all laced with worry and concern. they all echoed the same question, it bounced around the walls of the den, pressing her tufted ears to her head. what happened. lichenpaw steps up, gives a brief rundown of the events, her heart and stomach lurch at the retelling. large teeth grab hold of her tongue as more clanmates appear, erupt. the apprentice flinches at raccoonstripe's words, sunfreckle's, although delivered much more calmly, elicited the same reaction. howlingstar was here, she did not yet pass judgement. sandpaw worried for what she would do to sunnyday, he wasn't a monster as lichenpaw had called him at the rocks. if that were true, she wouldn't be here right now. that did not dissolve his actions though. he would have to pay in some form, but there was no telling the severity of the punishment.

a lull in the increasingly heated conversation has her gaze falling back to berryheart. his presence was lost to her as the tensions grew. "it got... pulled, hurts in my shoulder," she hesitated, slowly yet clearly. the apprentice gestures to her shoulder. she didn't understand why it hurt there, that wasn't the area she was grabbed. sandpaw tries to move her injured leg to mimic what had happened, except it does not move. pain only sears through it, she yowls at the sudden increase in pain. but that was not what hurt her the most. it wouldn't move. she could jerk her shoulder as much as she wanted, but the limb below remained sedentary. panic rose in her, overtook her mind that was trying so desperately to remain calm. "it won't move. why can't i move it!" her cry ripped through the den, face taut with pain and panic.​

✦ 𖤓 ✦​

 

[BASILWHISKER]

It was fortunate timing Basilpaw was still in camp preparing for Dewfang's plans with him for the day. A promised training that the chocolate point was anticipating, but sadly had held him back from busying himself with anything else. A classic 'waiting mode' he put himself in while waiting for the scheduled plan to begin, just to be safe he was being as punctual as possible. He wanted to become a warrior as quickly as he could and finally breathe the freedom a warrior had. At least as much as he thought they had.

His daydreaming had been interrupted by the outburst of noise Sunnyday's arrival had caused. His ears turned towards the trio- Lichenpaw had left with his mentor this morning too. He wasted no time to stride from where he sat to see his little brother, glancing at the blood at his toes and back to his face. It's obvious Lichenpaw is leaving something out from his description, did he have to fight his mentor off just to get him to stop? The questions wanted to spill but he withheld, too many adults talking.

Instead Basilpaw remained wordless beside Lichenpaw, offering silent support.

 

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
What's wrong? Sunnyday folded his ears back as he lowered his head in deepening anguish and regret as he tried to formulate the right words to say. "I fear that I broke her leg." Naturally he believed that it was broken, it's not like he had the knowledge or understanding about what a dislocation was. Though it didn't matter if was a break or a dislocation, the issue remained that he had been the one to inflict it. With Sandpaw safe in the nest and now under Berryheart's attention he instinctively took a few steps back as to avoid crowding the injured apprentice.

His clanmates approached, Howlingstar included, and the questions came rolling. Before he could muster up the strength to address them Lichenpaw spoke up and shared the grim truth, and moments later the furious and shocked baying began. His sense of loyalty was rapidly pulled up, dragged about like a prized kill. Disloyal. Brutal with apprentices. Friendly with the enemy. Sympathiser of loners. How could his life go so awry? His jaw pulled taut as his chest tightened to the point of nearly throttling the very breath out of him. Ultimately he decided not to address the main throng of ThunderClanners, he didn't see a point in trying to defend himself from them when most of what they said was true. Instead he looked to Howlingstar, and only her as he finally began to speak.

"What Lichenpaw says is true. I attacked them both." No more lies, it was time for the truth. "I brought them both to Sunningrocks to address the tension caused by me forbidding them from joining the takeover of that stretch of territory. I held them back because I believed that they weren't ready for their first real battle, though I was influenced by my belief that taking Sunningrocks was wrong." There it was, the admission to his views about the land grab. A glimpse into his disloyal heart. "I decided to give them a taste of what a battle was like. I... I only wanted to scare them, but I took it too far. I grabbed Sandpaw by her leg and-..." He visibly recoiled into himself as he remembered that horrid sensation of the leg slipping out of place. Tears of guilt pricked the corners of his eyes as he reflected on what had occurred. "I hurt her so, so badly."

Briefly his eye contact with Howlingstar broke as he looked towards Lichenpaw, and in that moment he made a decision to spare one last lie. A slight bending of the truth. Returning his sights back to that of the leader he continued on with his recollection of events. "When it was clear that I wasn't going to stop, Lichenpaw fought to force me to back off, hence my wounds. Once I was back to my senses we knew that we had to get Sandpaw back to the camp for help." Again his gaze drifted towards Lichenpaw with a pleading look in his blue eyes. He didn't want them to argue over the final details, not if it meant protecting the youth in some small way.

Drawing in a shaky breath, he then bowed his head in defeat. "I don't deserve to mentor them, not after what I've done. I don't even deserve to be a warrior." It's then that Sandpaw's cry filled the air and it caused the older tom to jolt in shock. A part of him wanted to rush over to comfort her in some way, but he knew that he was the very last cat she would want trying to comfort her now. A monster, that's what he was! That cry along with the memory of her distorted limb would haunt him until the day he died.​

 

[LITTLE WOLF]

Little Wolf's eyes widen in horror as she looks up at the small returning group, sees the cat that slides from Sunnyday's shoulders, sees the way her leg is bent, an odd angle that it shouldn't be. Her first thought, like many others, is that this is the doing of RiverClanners. It would make sense if it was. A senseless act of violence could, in Little Wolf's mind, not be acted out by a clanmate, much less a mentor. They were meant to guide the young cats in their charge. Not hurt them, not maim them. They were not WindClan, after all. And yet, here is Sunnyday, his apprentice laying mangled in the dust and the dirt, crying out for help with her mentor standing over her looking like a kit that's been scolded.

Her ears lay flat against her head as she hears Lichenpaw's words, that Sunnyday had done this to show them they were not ready for a real battle. Sandpaw was about the same age as her own kits, she was only a couple of moons away from becoming a warrior herself. Little Wolf listens as the red pelted tom talks, but in the back of her mind she is reminded of a different cat, also prone to violence. Cinderfrost. Perhaps they had been cut from the same cloth, perhaps that was what he liked about her, he saw the violent parts of himself in her. She certainly could believe it.

She wants to go to Sandpaw, the kit her sister had taken under her wing and watched over, but she is afraid that she will only get in the way and so she presses herself closer to Sunfreckle. "How could you?" she asks quietly, still horrified. He says he doesn't deserve to be a mentor or a warrior and she cannot help the laugh that escapes her throat. "You think?" her tone drips with sarcasm but still, she looks to her mother, waiting for the verdict to come from their leaders mouth. She would honor whatever Howlingstar chose.
​

 

[HAWKSHIVER]

❪ TAGS ❫ — What the hell was going on here? Shouting, accusations, mentions of broken bones. Hawkshiver's first instinct is a that a scuffle has finally occurred at Sunningrocks, but to his surprise, that is not the case at all. In fact, one of ThunderClan's warriors had attacked his own.

Narrowed eyes focused on Sunnday, his skin beginning to heat up with simmering anger and the hairs along his neck raising ever so slightly, though he has a tight hold on his emotions and is sure not to let them overtake.

He listens to Sunnday's story, and while the other male is obviously throwing himself to Howlingstar's mercy and claiming that he was only trying to give his apprentices "a taste of battle", it was clear that he was out of his own control. Who would Sunnyday turn on next? How could he possibly be allowed to let this continue? "You're right," Hawkshiver utters from his place among the crowd, holding his head high as a scornful gaze as cast upon the perpetrator.

"You deserve to be treated like a traitor." With a subtle unsheathing of his claws, he kneads the ground with them out of anticipation. Hawkshiver doesn't appear on edge to launch himself at Sunnday, as he is a level-headed male known for his cool composure in heated situations such as this. He wouldn't move a muscle unless Howlingstar ordered it; his loyalty to the leader was strict despite the rancor he felt toward certain members of her kin.

His icy gaze flicks toward the senior leader herself, awaiting her judgment. Knowing Howlingstar took clan loyalty seriously, he knew that Sunnyday's fate would not be very bright at all. If he were in charge, the sandy-pelted tom would be sent running from their borders in the next few seconds. ​

 

[Badgerstrike]

After hearing Sunnyday's explanation, she bristled a little less. Her father had taught her the same way, but he wasn't as rough. He exercised control and discipline, never truly hurting her enough to leave lasting scars or damage.

He never made himself the enemy. Never sought to genuinely hurt her.

Sunnyday didn't show these qualities, and now his apprentices were suffering for it. Well. Mostly Sandpaw.

"I was trained to fight the same way." She began. " The only difference is, my father showed control and discipline and never sought to truly hurt me. He never made himself my enemy. You....." She looked to Sunnyday, into his eyes.

"You let yourself go. You showed none of those traits. While I get what you were trying to do, you did it poorly and only showed you're more willing to fight your clan rather than for it." She finished.

She wondered what the verdict would be. Would Howlingstar have him exiled? Killed, even? She awaited her words.
​

 

[Dewfang]

At once he suspected RiverClan and Dewfang's fur bristled in anticipation of retaliation. The truth was far more grim... one could say that a story of RiverClan attacking them would be much more preferable than an attack by one's own Clannmate. Not even that but a mentor! A cat that a younger cat was supposed to look up and trust. Dewfang's eyes raked with sympathy over poor Sandpaw. He had little doubt that she had gone into it trusting. Lichenpaw seems headstrong with the way he spoke of the event. Sunnyday speaks with guilt—he seems to know what was good for him. Dewfang glanced finally at his own apprentice, Basilpaw, Lichenpaw's own sibling. He cannot ever imagine losing himself to such a degree that he would use Skypaw to strike Basilpaw.

"The very first warrior code is to remain loyal to your Clan. If you are willing to prove your point about Sunningrocks's legitimacy in defense of RiverClan by injuring your own apprentice, well then... you will know what I think of you." He muttered. It was not his decision. It was Howlingstar's. As he had defended his leader's word on Sunningrocks, he would honor her word on this decision.

​

 

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
So many voices, demanding answers as she had.
Lichenpaw speaks, the venom spitting off his tongue stinging.
Roeflame parts her maw to speak again, to prod more, but Sunnyday beats her to it. He confesses in a croak, his body radiating his misery.
Horror clouds in Roeflames eyes as she gazes upon the tom she had found herself close with once, tied to by the love for Cinderfrost, as different as it was.
Outcries from her clanmates echo distantly from around her, and in a blink sun-warmed fur is an ashen gray, and she is craning her head to look into distant eyes with the reek of Shadowclanners filling her nose.
All too similar, the same sickening feeling knotting an invisible thread in her stomach. Yet, this time she is not pleading to deaf ears, begging for her mother not to leave her, this time she's stepping back, looking as if she'll be sick.
She isn't a child on the brink of losing a mother anymore, simply an onlooker watching yet another trusted clanmate sink themselves into a hole they cannot clamber out of.
She spins on her heel, shoulder-checking who would ever be beside her, but she cannot register anything other than the fact that she needed to get away from this.
"Move." The request is mindless as she pushes herself out of the gathered crowd.

"speech"

tags​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar remains close as Sandpaw is placed gingerly into a nest, where Berryheart can get to work. Her worried gaze remains on the girl while Flamewhisker asks the golden warrior if RiverClan attacked. But the leader can't smell fish-scent. Or any scent besides blood, as a matter of fact. Before Sunnyday can say anything, it's Lichenpaw who speaks up with a resounding 'no.' The tabby then looks to him, ears pressing forward as she attempts to get all of the details. According to the apprentice, Sunnyday attacked the pair. This wasn't any normal training session. This was a fight. Wide, horrified eyes slowly drag away from Lichenpaw's face to Sunnyday, her lead warriors' words ringing in her ears.

She almost hopes Sunnyday refutes the claim, because how could something so awful be true? She didn't trust Sunnyday, not much. He has always done things by his own whims and he made it obvious he had no respect for her or her leadership. But this? She didn't think he'd do something like this to the one he was meant to teach.

But he doesn't deny it. Howlingstar's heart plummets as she listens to his side of the story, the stunned expression on her slack-jawed face giving away her horror. Her warriors speak out against him as Howlinstar gathers her thoughts, processing everything. But in the end, all she can say at first is, "Give me one good reason to believe you are loyal to ThunderClan."

When she finds her footing, she lifts her chin higher and levels him with a furious look. A lash of her tail signals for someone to get Lichenpaw away from here. She doesn't want him anywhere near this tom. "You favor strangers over the safety of your own clan. You'd rather passively watch your clanmates starve than help them claim territory that now feeds them. You willingly harm your own apprentices to, what, teach them a lesson that they shouldn't care for their clan the way every other warrior here does? A mentor's job is to guide and train their apprentice so that they may become strong, honorable warriors someday. A mentor doesn't need to scare them with claws. What were you thinking, Sunnyday?" She growls, taking a step towards him with her tail lifted high, ears pinning back against her head. Dewfang is absolutely right. Does Sunnyday even care about the Warrior Code? Does he even care about his clan? He can hate her all he wants. She can take it. But he has crossed a line that she won't easily forgive. "Now I ask again: give me one good reason to believe you are loyal to ThunderClan."​

 

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
Traitor.
The word cut deep into his heart and threatened to unravel him then and there, to leave him crumbling into the abyss of his already deepening well of guilt. Again he refused to respond to the others who were speaking, opting to only talk to Howlingstar. As it stood he only had the energy left to spare to her when it came to explaining events, and now to defending himself.

"You favour strangers over the safety of your own clan."
A faint prickle of anger wormed up through the dark clouds fogging his mind and he found himself locking his sights on the she-cat before him with a greater sternness. "Was it not I who sent Sandpaw back to raise the alarm when we discovered ShadowClan on ThunderClan's territory stealing food? I fought to help drive them off and to take back the prey. I had no way of knowing whether back up would come, yet I did my duty all the same. And did I not go with your patrol to face the hounds that terrorised our home? I went forth knowing that we could very well die that day, yet I still did my duty. I have helped to fight off a fox, changed my ways and have now driven off injured strangers who I would have once extended kindness to from our borders, and risked the thunderpath in order to get food for our clan."

Two battles where he could have died. Two battles where he did his part for the sake of ThunderClan, yet they only bray over him refusing to join a single battle? Maybe he had a right to be angry. "You asked for a single reason, right? Have I not gone out of my way to protect this clan on more than one occasion? I intend to keep protecting this clan for as long as I can. But that fight for Sunningrocks? No, I wanted nothing to do with it. But if RiverClan had attacked us then I would have gone and done my part."

RiverClan had taken them in during ThunderClan's time of need, given them a home whilst a fire had destroyed the camp. What other clan would have done that for them? And how could RiverClan have come to assist with the dogs when the river's waters raged as it did at the time? Silverlightning could have died after falling in, and even he had struggled in the river. RiverClanners would have perished before even reaching Sunningrocks, and any who made it would have likely fallen to the hounds. It would have been certain death for any patrol. Any sane leader would see that risk and accept that they couldn't send aid.

"I made the biggest mistake of my life today. I can't take it back and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life. I wasn't thinking." No, he wasn't going to run away from what he had done, nor was he going to try and rationalise it either. He had done wrong, he knew that, everyone knew that. But when it came to his loyalty? Did the scars on his body mean nothing? One battle, only one fight he had refused to join. But even then he had stood on standby to protect the camp. An exhausted sounding sigh escaped him as his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Whatever decision you make I will respect." Stay or go, live or die, he would heed it and accept.
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[SHALLOW]

He had been working himself to the ground. Every single day he had been pushing himself so he could keep up to the other apprentices constantly chasing to catch up to them. All so he could one day achieve his dream to become a warrior. No matter the obstacles he was being faced with had keept on forcing himself to move forward. He stood tall and he had been enduring all of it up until now. Every whisper behind his back that he never would be good enough. Even the hateful glares that could burn through his skin. Shallowpaw had endured through it all without any complain, without making a big fuss about it. It was just how it was he had convinced himself telling himself it didn't really matter. Because despite what anyone said about him or thought of him Shallowpaw knew there was someone in this world who believed in him. A cat he wanted to become like one day who stood for everything he believed a warrior was suppose to be. A burning light no one could taint or take out. So every single time he had felt doubtful had reminded himself of that light and that he one day wanted to stand in that light too.

Today there was no such light. All he saw was Sandpaw and her broken leg, Lichenpaw wounded and Sunnyday who was the cause of it all and for what?. To prove a point. Sunnyday had hurt the very cats who had trusted and believed in him. That was not the Sunnyday he had known all of this time. That old man with that warm bright smile who had brought him into this clan and saved his life. The tom who would fight admirably for cats like him who meant nothing in this world. That same cat might now have cursed one of their own apprentices to live the life he did with only three legs to work with. He had choose violence at his own to teach a lesson.

That light. He couldn't feel it anymore. It had faded away showing the face of a cat he couldn't even recognize. It made him question everything. Where to go from here. Sunnyday had been the one who always did the right thing but if this was right...what's different right from wrong?. To him Sunnyday had been a symbol of what a warrior was supposed to be like. In the future Shallowpaw had wanted to save somebody's life like the warrior had saved his own. To be someone's light. But that light was no longer there. He could no longer feel it.

Shallowpaw felt like a piece of himself went missing like his whole world just spun out of control. What even was a warrior to begin with?. Or was warrior just another word for rogue?. If so what had he even been working so hard for? to become the very thing he despised the most?.

He didn't know anymore. Everything just felt pointless. His dream felt so bleak.




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