when it's cold outside, i've got the month of may~ [wildheart]

[Brighteyes]

"I'LL BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU"​

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In the two moons since Skyclaws reign of terror over Thunderclan, Brighteyes had been doing his best to return to a sense of normalcy. Truthfully, though? When he and the other ex-kittypets had been sent away.. Stars, how did you even describe how something like that felt? How did you put a single emotion to the realisation that your clanmates would never really see you as the same?

Because when Brighteyes really thought about it, weren’t kittypets seen as generally weak by all the clans? Wasn’t that the reason that Thunderclan– like all the rest sans Sky– refused to let them join the ranks unless there were special circumstances?

Too soft, that’s what they all said.

He couldn’t help but think of all his past failures. Of all the times he’d frozen in the face of danger. Of the countless cuts and scrapes and bruises, the twisted ankles and pulled muscle from injuries that could have been prevented if he’d just stopped hesitating all the time. Was all of that because of where he’d come from? Was it really something in his blood he couldn’t change?

No.

The war against Skyclaws cats had to be proof otherwise, didn’t it? He hadn’t hesitated then, not when the lives of his clanmates were on the line, not when his home was at risk of falling into the hands of a monster permanently. He’d felt almost free charging into the fray alongside his fellow Thunderclanners, alive with a purpose and confidence that had stripped him of any fear or sense of self-preservation. He’d wanted to fight, to protect what he cared about.

And he’d done well. The injuries he came away with were the same as many of the others who’d managed to hold their own that day, and he was almost proud of the scars beneath his dark gray fur.

So while his determination burned bright, the feelings of inadequacy remained.

Thus, when he found himself heading toward Wildheart, he wasn’t sure what he was looking for; if it was the infectious, admirable strength they always seemed to exude, or if it was in search of proof to justify the gross feeling that’d been living in him lately.

Surely the former, right?

”Hey Wildheart!” he greeted, tail giving a friendly flick behind him, ”What are you up to?”

@WILDHEART

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[WILDHEART]

Wildheart didn’t take any pleasure when it came to reflecting on the events that transpired during Skyclaw’s takeover. They had lost so many, including Howlingstar. How could anyone turn their claws on their leader and own relative? The whole clan had been made to live in fear, even Wildheart had felt the crushing weight of it all. Even when it all came to an end there was barely room to sigh with relief, not with the resulting mental and physical injuries that had been created.

Wildheart had been lost in his thoughts as he stood in the heart of the camp, idle and without a duty at that moment. Which seemed to make him easier to find by one of his peers. With just the sound of the voice alone he knew who was approaching, and it stirred a nod of his head in greeting. It wasn’t the warmest of greetings that he gave, but it wasn’t cold nor meant to drive away the attention.

”Nothing much. The apprentices are getting a break from hunting, and I have nothing planned until later. What about you?” Wildheart rumbled the answer, though he visibly made an effort to turn his head to the left in an attempt to hide the grisly scars that now marred his face. A trophy of war, but one that served only to haunt him.
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[Brighteyes]

"I'LL BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU"​

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”Oh, um, s-same! Well, minus the apprentice part, that is.” The nervous chuckle was nothing new, and by now he had come to expect that he’d be tripping over his own worlds and stumbling through any conversation that didn’t lead to him rambling about stuff nobody cared about for five minutes. It was a habit he was trying to break.

”Maybe we can do some catching up, then? It’s been a while since we hung out together– just us, I mean. I know we see each other everyday, but it’s been since the dog that we… um.. You know.” he finished lamely, spent time together.

It felt like so much had happened since then.

”I haven’t even t-told you about my fight during the rebellion against Skyclaw.I totally won against Batblink! A-and not just because I got lucky either!”

It felt good to brag a little after keeping it in for so long. It just hadn’t seemed like the time or place in the aftermath of such a serious thing, and then by the time it might have been appropriate, there was too much going on too many bad memories associated with the battle for anyone to want to bring it up again. But Wildheart had always appreciated bravery and strength. Had been the one to tell Bright that he should stop by the training hollow more. If anyone would appreciate the small victory, surely it’d be them? Even if Batblink was nothing particularly special to be bragging over, it was more the fact that the freckled tabby had managed to pull through when it counted that truly mattered– or at least, he hoped it would.

"How did your own fight go-- are your injuries healing alright?" he craned his neck to try and catch a glimpse of the jagged scars, but it was hard when Wildheart wasn't really looking in his direction...

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[WILDHEART]

”Sure, I’ll humour a catch up.” It wasn’t like he had much option, and if he was honest Brighteyes was among those he could tolerate being around. Not originally, but things were changing. Wildheart settled himself down into a more comfortable pose as he prepared for what could be a long, messy ramble from the other feline. As he listened to Brighteyes talk about his fight with Batblink he couldn’t help but ponder how it had felt for all of those who had been driven from ThunderClan during the takeover, and how tough it must have been to fight for the right to return. To be home. Having the curse of kittypet blood did not account for weakness, not in ThunderClan.

As the conversation was drawn back to his own experience he seemed to wince. It took a long few moments before he finally turned his head to look directly at Brighteyes, revealing the full extent of his injuries. ”I did what I had to do. I fought, I killed, and I saved who I could.” The answer was flat with no attempt to hype up what he had done. A younger version of his self would have gloated and bragged, but that wasn’t who he was anymore. He didn’t draw joy from the blood that had coated his claws.

”Glad to hear that you stood and fought. Congratulations.” Wildheart exhaled a low sigh as he let his gaze drop again as he stopped looking directly at Brighteyes. Though a question lingered on his mind. ”I’m guessing that Batblink survived the fight with you? What would you have done if you had been forced to kill them?”


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[Brighteyes]

"I'LL BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU"​

---

He couldn’t tell if he was simply getting less annoying, or if Wildheart was growing more patience for him, but either way he was graced with the approval to sit and join them– so he did, crouching down and getting comfortable, tail curling around his paws to try and keep his toes a little warmer against the frostbitten ground.

To his surprise, he wasn’t met with the some hot-headed, ambitious attitude as he had been the last time they were together. He’d been expecting Wildheart to smirk and brag back about whatever victory they’d surely claimed for themselves, but instead, there was an emptiness to his tone as he turned to finally look at him, giving Bright an eyeful of the jagged scars marring their face. Doe-eyed blinked wide in surprise at just how severe they actually were, and he might have gotten completely derailed by them if not for one thing.

Killed?

Something like realization sunk into him as the other looked away, and all of a sudden things felt very wrong, because Wildheart was hurting somehow. He wasn’t sure if it was shock or guilt, or anger, or what the demon he was currently fighting was, but he badly wished he could fight alongside his friend.

”I’m guessing that Batblink survived the fight with you? What would you have done if you had been forced to kill them?”

His own gaze stole away to nothing in particular, drifting away from the calico tom to truly mull over their words, claws worrying the ground and fangs worried his lower lip.

”I don’t know.” he admitted, surprised by the confidence in his own indecision. ”I mean, what c-can I do in that situation? Let them go, and they'll kill your friends and family. Hold back, and y-you're the one who dies and they get to kkeep hurting others.”

It felt wrong to say, because the right, good answer was to say that murder was wrong and to never do it. And maybe a younger, more naive version of himself would have agreed– one that had never met Skyclaw and his followers, or been sent away from his home like he didn’t belong. But now?

”Sometimes, they just don’t stop.” His tail tip gave a nervous flick as he thought of half-crazed dogs at the junkyard, the ones that had descended on his friend like a living avalanche of fur and teeth and muscle. Unstoppable. It twitched again when he thought of the battle and Skyclaws cats, of just how many of them had fought right to the death because they believed their ideals were that right. How they would have slaughtered so many Thunderclanners if given the chance.

If his clanmates had hesitated. If Wildheart had hesitated.

Eyes flickered back over to the tom, and working up his nerves, he shimmied closer to try and press his shoulder against their own. ”I’m glad you're still here, Wildheart.”

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