WILD WOMEN DON'T GET THE BLUES [failure]

[willowroot]

( ☾ ) she feels like she's drowning. even as the beads of water from her desperate plunge dry on her pelt, turning it glossy in the bright sun. she glares at it as it fades from the sky, mocking her, gleaming golden over the territory with a crude smile as if to say you fucked up. this is on you. the smoke stares balefully back, tear streaks ruining the elegant fur around her face. she looks broken, and she feels it- her voice is hoarse and hurting from pained wails, her paws sluggishly bleeding due to the sharp rocks she'd dashed over to get to the river. she sits in camp now, in the shadows of the reeds, eyes glossy and dim. ashpaw's scream sounds through her mind over and over again, ringing in her skull the same way the thundering shots do every time they sound. she jumps at one now, ripping her gaze from the sky and scanning the camp for danger.

nothing.

stars, they don't know what to do. smokethroat (dear, kind, gruff smokethroat) has organized search patrols and told willowroot to stay put. they'd argued, hissed at him she's my apprentice, i have to find her! but he'd sighed, looked at her up and down and raised his eyebrows. you need to calm down. go back to camp. rest. we'll find her. and so, not wanting to argue, not when their energy is spent, the ebony femme had. day is fading now, evening coming on fast, the sky is beautiful, and ashpaw is gone. willowroot can feel emotion building in their throat- they want to scream, tear up the territory and every other clan's territory until they find her, bring her home. the search patrols had returned empty pawed. there is little hope for a live apprentice to stumble home.

ashpaw is probably dead. willowroot hates themself. ​

( THE LIGHT YOU GAVE ME )

 

[Raccoonpaw]

Ashpaw hadn't returned for sometime now. They weren't sure the little grey tornado would even come back at this point, and it was hard. Hard to watch Willowroot destroy themselves over the young apprentice, to see cats mourn over a body that was never to be found. Raccoonpaw lifted a paw to wipe at an orange eye and their gaze moved over to a familiar smoke figure. Hidden among the shadows of the reeds and they got up on their small black paws. They wanted to go over, to try to comfort their sibling but yet they felt like their efforts would be rejected. Willowroot blamed themself for Ashpaws' death, their disappearance, and nothing seemed to warrant help.

Still, Raccoonpaw got up from their spot outside the apprentices' den and carefully approached the smoke lead warrior. Orange eyes looked at them solemnly before they bumped their forehead against Willowroots' chest. Running their cheek along Willowroots softly before sitting down beside them. Raccoonpaw didn't offer any words. What could they say? Nothing they could say would make the situation better, but they wanted the other to know they where there. That'd they always be there for them no matter what. Willowroot was their sibling, someone they grew up with, and seeing them so distraught- it made tears form in their eyes. Though they didn't allow them to fall and instead sat with Willowroot in silence. Hoping their presence was enough. ​

 

[COAST]

Coast hasn't been around much, preferring to spend her days in the sun and the water rather than camp itself, but she was at least there when Willow had called out for Ashpaw. Coast had picked up on their desperation, the cry that had emitted (much like one that only a mother could utter) and Coasts heart had shattered for her. Shes not sure how to comfort her but she had volunteered, something, anything to get her siblings mind off of it.

Shes not surprised to find Willowroot sitting alone, with an apprentice besides her. They squint their eyes with a long, inaudible sigh. What was she supposed to do? She moves over to them silently, taking her place on Willow's free side. Their own eyes travel to Willows form. Dejected. Upset, rightfully so. "Things will be okay, ocean star." its been their nickname for Willow since they were young. Since they were naive, playful, before they had learned the hardships of life. "The stars will guide Ashpaw home. I'll help anyway I can." their voice is softer, kinder. "Don't overwork yourself. It's not your fault." she curls her tail, taking her gaze back up to the sky. Willow had always had a tendency to do so, so all Coast could do now was wait and see if they heeded her advice.
​

"speech"​

 

[POPPYSPLASH.]

"yeah. willowroot seems really torn up about it. i feel back for them."

just the mention of their name makes poppysplash lift her head. her eyes narrowed and suddenly before she knows what she's doing, her body moves towards the familar scent of sage and leaves. poppysplash's face is unwelcoming as always, but even she can't help the softness, the pure uncomplicated emotion, as soon as her eyes land on willowroot. she doesn't even speak to anyone else. she only moves to sit beside them, brushing her fur against theirs in comfort, with a low tone.

"i'm here."

she doesn't know how else to give comfort to them. and its painful. why can't she help them? why is it so hard for her to just... know? is it because she'd never been comforted before? or perhaps the overwhelming need to push anyone away who tried? sighing, she looked down at her paws, offering one for willowroot to take for a second. they're taking too long. take my paw, idiot.

her inner voice screams, and poppysplash is impatient. she grabs willow's paw in her own, looking away as if she doesn't care. but i do. stop being sad. i miss that stupid smile of yours, fishbrain.
​

[ I'LL GIVE YOU THE WORLD ]​

 

[willowroot]

( ☾ ) raccoon approaches first - of course they do - on soft paws, sunshine eyes shining with worry and sorrow. she startles when they press their head to her chest, but warmth spreads through her as they settle. bending down to rasp her tongue along their head, smoothing the wayward fur, their breath trembles and they curl their tail to wrap around the younger. things will be okay, ocean star. the nickname almost makes willowroot sob, but they catch it, exhaling a soft breath, bottleglass gaze softening. she leans to gently nuzzle her sister on the shoulder. "she's a strong one," she manages, an watery smile gracing trembling lips. "and she's clever. clever enough to cause trouble anyway." a soft laugh turned sigh, the two scents of her closest family mingling, soothing her crushed spirit. "she's okay. she's got to be. i don't think i could live if she wasn't."

it is perhaps an empty promise to themself, this statement, but willowroot feels it to be true. they've been fond of the kid since they joined. should she vanish from their life, they can't imagine how much more painful it could feel. their heart is already aching. still, surrounded by family, a small ray of hope begins to glow.

this, she feels, is enough. this is what love is - to know one well enough to be able to comfort without trying, to offer even your presence and know that it will help. she tries not to focus on ashpaw, not to remember the flame and crimson strewn across the sand, the water crystal and rushing onwards as if it hadn't stolen something precious. there is a touch at her right, a soft breath in her ear, and she wants to cry openly now. poppysplash murmurs low, mottled fur mixing with smoke as the she-cat settles. "you're here." willow breathes back, head turning to look wide eyed into the other's expression. there's a strange softness there, something that hasn't been there before, and it is perhaps the most comforting thing of all.

poppy moves with purpose, placing her paw over the smoke's with a nonchalant look, but willowroot knows better. she can't help the feeling in her stomach at the other's touch, can't help that the hope that has been planted within her chest begins to sprout, bloom red and flowering and beautiful. "she's going to come home." the statement is decisive, a concrete fact rather than the watery queries she had whispered out earlier. moving with a hesitant yet needing softness, she rests her head on poppy's shoulder. ​

( THE LIGHT YOU GAVE ME )

 

[RAVENDUSK]

Aha, the feeling of drowning...to get dragged underneath the surface and pulled down to the bottomless darkness. The water entering thier lungs, suffocating them as they tried to scream until it drove them mad. Grief had many faces and most of them was cold and unpleasant. Some may claim insanity was the most dangerous a cat could lose themself too but Ravendusk didn't agree. Grief could go far beyond rationality to lose oneself just for one split second and then have to live with the consequences for the rest of thier life. Insanity could be a bliss in comparison to that because at least they had nothing to return back to afterwards. Just lost in thier mind without any care for what come afterwards.

Drowning most be one of the most horrifying ways of going and after hearing the news over what had happend to Willowroot's apprentice he could fully understand the distress she most be going through right now. Grief was a sensitive topic, one that Ravendusk himself not wished to speak about. But for Willowroot there was still hope, a light in the tunnel. " If there is no body there is still hope." Ravendusk spoke from a distance, not getting as close as the rest had to comfort the distressed smoke. They already had the comfort they needed right now so Rav didn't think his present was necessary here. But still he wanted to spark some hope to thier lead warrior of his own since he now was here. That was what was importand right now, to not give up on that hope. Not everyone was so fortunate to cling to something as small like that...Willowroot should cling to it like her own life depanded on it. That was what keept a cat sane in a tragic situation like this one. Without it...without it....hmh.



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