wishing you godspeed, glory [ dandelion ]

Her baby- no. Her apprentice... Also no. The medicine cat. As cats filtered out of the den, it became silent once more aside from her clawing up moss and uprooting flowers. Tears fell silently from her eyes, blood dribbled from a lip bit in frustration. Her children were mad at her, she was never fit to be a mother, never fit to love. She worries what Pollenfur thinks of her, of what Dandelion thinks of her. Surely a monster, a hypocrite, someone not even worth his time- she fights back an audible sob as she hangs her head in defeat, clutching the flowers close to her chest. I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. It doesn't slip from her lips, nothing does.

Shes Fritter again. She does not deserve her name, does not deserve to be Honey, the cat so many cats looked up to; she had only failed the masses, she was supposed to be resilient, but tragedy after tragedy whittled her down. Brioche, Fougasse, are they watching her? Are they proud, or just as disappointed in her as her own children? I tried, maman, papa, I tried so hard. Her best had never been enough, it had been for her parents, but never for herself because here she is, silently crying because she wasn't enough for her own conscious.

"Leave with me." its pleading, desperate as she turns to Dandelion, shes a mess, shes broken, the words come out in a cry. Fresh tears stream down her face. "Leave with me, so we don't have to see this tyranny." she feels like a child again. Was it right for her to do this? Shes selfish. Shes begging a kid to leave with her. Selfish, stupid, hypocritical.

"I'm sorry. I let you down. I'm sorry." how does she convey that shes a glass canon, that shes three seconds away from shattering at all times? She wishes she could have a redo for her life, her face meets the floor and she barely realized she had blacked out. Too much stress. Was it fair, fair to leave Dandelion with this position? She feels as if she has no other choice.

// @Dandelionpaw

He is watching a cat unravel into thin and fragile threads before him, already frayed and bursting at the seams; she's seconds from shredding herself to pieces and he can do nothing but watch in silent horror as the breakdown occurs. He wants to comfort, but worries it will be met with anger, he wants to speak but fears his words will either mean nothing or mean too much. The sepia point sits there in silence, the sound of sobs filling the den and he looks to the walls once adorned with pressed dried flowers and he thinks to himself how plain and empty it feels now.

Leave? Leave. If it were that easy they would have all left sooner, every cat with a sense of themselves and desire to be happy and unindoctrined would have walked across the moors and fled the moment WindClan was established for what it was; a clan so close to the stars it blinded every soul for miles.
Dandelionpaw found he could hold no anger in his heart even knowing he was being left with a burden far larger than his slim shoulders could carry. Mostly, he felt tired.
"...no." It was simply stated, surprisingly calm; he feels himself shaking but his voice is steady. "I can't." There's so many cats here who could not simply leave for one reason or another and WindClan had done a damned good job alienating itself to where even its refugees would be met with hostility from other clans and outsiders. He could only imagine a loner, turned away, cutting down a lone WindClanner seeking solace in the two-leg place. His mismatched gaze glances to the side idly.

"...thank you for teaching me. " The accent fades, he's too mentally exhausted to hold it up any longer and he gives a sheepish smile before shrugging, "...but I can't abandon this clan with nothing." What would become of them with no cat skilled in healing? Who would help them read the stars? WindClan would be put in a chokehold and throttled and while he did not agree with Sootstar's iron grip he could not disregard those beneath her out of pettiness. A small part of him wished his mentor had been stronger, but another part of him acknowledges that it is far too much for one cat.
The apprentice leans forward as she tips, tries to lean into her to keep her upright and not smash her muzzle into the hard earth below them.