Amberhaze is
paranoid,
cautious, and
observant. He is also known for being quite
reactive when faced with high-stress situations. Despite his many shortcomings, he is anything but one dimensional, his more positive traits shining through ever so often. He is also quite
innovative, his out of the box thinking and strategic outlook on problem solving often being an unexpected asset to both himself and his clan. He is
resilient as well as
compassionate, his resolve in the face of hardship and his pacifist nature truly blossoming when he was nothing more than an injured and wayward soul.
At the core, Amberhaze is a well meaning and good natured individual who has a great zeal for life and all that it has to offer, the idea of adventure and experiencing all that one can in such a short amount of time one that he views through rose colored glasses. However, this is a lifestyle that may very well turn out to be nothing more than a dream, for his mind is riddled with unfathomable levels of fear leading to paranoia so intense he is just barely capable of patrolling the edges of his own territory. Every day he is controlled by his own thoughts and relentless "what-if's," the possibility of danger rearing its ugly head at any point in the form of something so catastrophic it cannot be stopped something that is all too real to him. He is eaten alive by the feeling of hopelessness and the fact that he is aware of how powerless he is compared to everything that is outside of his control- natural disasters, disease, the actions of others, the very world deciding that it would rather see its end than grant its inhabitants another day. Prone to full blown anxiety attacks, he may begin to grow breathless and lay on the ground in a shaking heap while muttering to himself about outlandish ideas cultivated inside of his frazzled mind that makes little sense to anyone other than himself. The process is a painful one, his chest and abdomen tingling and heaving in their efforts to draw in oxygen until he feels as though he is suffocating, his extremities growing numb with muscles so tense it prevents him from being able to move. Quite the pathetic burden he can be at his worst, however at his best he has a sharp mind with a good sense of humor, he enjoys the smaller pleasures in life as well as spending time with those who bring him a sense of comfort and safety- though this must be done in moderation, as he can be unhealthily dependent on those around him for security.
Delusional
In his own head more often than he is in reality, Amberhaze has quite the overactive imagination. His mind is filled with speculation and possibilities, none of which are particularly positive. Always on edge, the majority of his fear is bred by the things he has convinced himself to be true- namely, things such as worldwide destruction, their clan being overtaken, attacked or entirely wiped out, the loss or harm to himself or those he cares about, certain death, and the like. Some of his fears are much more plausible than others, as nobody has ever once described clan living to be easy or without its dangers. Unfortunately, he is prone to blowing what is true completely out of propertion and causing them to seem much worse than they truly are. His paranoia regarding what is typically nothing more than baseless claims controls his every decision, sometimes to a fault.
Reserved
Although friendly, Amberhaze is not unlike a typical Shadowclanner in the ways of isolation. He is easily overwhelmed in the face of crowds, and is usually found lingering some ways away from his clanmates in group settings. He has rarely shared tongues with his colleagues, and small talk is not his forte at gatherings. He will approach others if he feels it is appropriate, either for the sake of being polite or because he simply feels obligated, however it's not something that comes easy to him. Perhaps this was something instilled in him during his time alone on the farm, or maybe after the fact as a result of permanent head trauma. Regardless of the reasoning, this avoidance of intense socialization is all he can remember of his behavior.
Empathetic
If nothing else, Amberhaze has a big heart. Beneath the sporadic and even overwhelming mannerisms he displays, there is no question about his desire for a simple life, a
good life both for himself and those he holds dear. He feels deeply for others and is able to consider things from their point of view effortlessly, even going as far as to find ways to defend those across Shadowclan's borders in their right to lament them for their wrong doings. Of course, the compassion he shows for his own is much deeper. He picks up on the stresses and joys displayed by his friends and family the most, to which he mirrors almost instinctively.
Faith
Although Amberhaze was taught of Starclan early into his arrival in Shadowclan, he has never fully been able to grasp the concept of Silverpelt or the more intimate workings that are brought on by prophecies. Truthfully, the thought of such an otherworldly existence not only existing, but also seemingly being able to alter and control what is still living is a disconcerting thing to him. As far as he's aware, Starclan have never intentionally or maliciously caused turmoil for the clans on earth... but he would be lying if he said that he didn't suspect that someday this may change. It fuels his paranoia and his deluded thoughts, automatically equating what he cannot entirely understand to something harmful that should be feared. Overall, he does not know what to believe- they could be real- they seem to be, according to pretty much everyone else. But could it also be nothing more than something made up as a means to make connections between the unexplainable? Something fabricated in order to put a face- or faces- to what is simply phenomenon? He has given up trying to decipher it, for it had begun to make him dive deeper into insanity.
Quirks
☣ Unintentionally selfish, oftentimes defaulting to wondering how something will effect or reflect upon him rather than anyone else.
☣ Has a habit of misinterpreting social queues, his reaction to certain situations sometimes coming off as inappropriate or simply confusing.
☣ Highly judgemental, though most of his more negative opinions of others he keeps close to his chest.
☣ Has a bit of an attitude, however it takes quite a lot of continuous pushing of buttons in order for him to outwardly snap.
☣ Not always the best at giving advice, however he is a great listener and can be trusted to keep sensitive information to himself.
☣ Highly animated, his emotions and stress being seen plainly on his face rather than through his words or actions.
